MY BREATHING IS AFFECTING MY WEIGHT

barry1992

Tried this approach....useless. The first major drought of the year dried up my water borne oxygen and I reverted back to oxygenated air. This caused my lungs to periodically swell every few seconds making me seem obese from the stomach up. Im now trying those little oxygen pills you can drop into fish tanks , taken with water they deliver oxygen straight to the stomach instead where it is easily digested. Farting activity does increase greatly but the compensation is you get the gym to yourself............thanks anyway

TheRoadDog

Hold your breath for as long as you can. That oughta do it.

allaboutthecake

I can't believe you guys don't all get this right. You KNOW the correct way to lose weight on the No Breathing Diet is to shove something up one nostril. Not two. It has to be JUST the one nostril.

*that's* the *secret*. You can thank me later.

barry1992

This has apparently worked for some , but holding your breath for too long results in it going stale , a bit like bread. You then have to expel your stale breath onto a suitable bird table.

dpwellman

As an experiment, I tried to cut everything but breathing. I felt very weak and unmotivated (not to mention bored), so I guess it's back to square on for me.

Liftng4Lis

Um..

CallMeCupcakeDammit

If you're in an overpopulated area, you're probably breathing in everyone else's expelled fat. Best to move to a more remote area where you're breathing in air with a lower fat content. Good luck, OP. The struggle is real.

barry1992

dpwellman wrote: »

As an experiment, I tried to cut everything but breathing. I felt very weak and unmotivated (not to mention bored), so I guess it's back to square on for me.

Your clearly missing the point !! Breathing is not for everyone (mainly dead ppl I grant you). Its not a choice its a lifestyle !!

trinatrina1984

5 pages of comments and all of them have made me giggle - Good work MFP

CallMeCupcakeDammit

I just realized how old this thread is, but hilarious thread is still hilarious. I hope I didn't wake up my daughter with my laughter.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

palwithme

barry1992 wrote: »

I cannot access this video so my anxiety has increased causing multiple breathing activities. This in turn has increased my metabolic rate and I am now panic eating. Soon , due to unexpected breathing rates I will be obese. This is your fault and I am now angry , further increasing non standard breathing episodes. I am growing by the minute..........................POP !!! Now see what you did

OMG! I am sorry. The old butterfly effect. You never know what is going to happen when you put something out on the interwebs.

palwithme

Back in the day this gal probably made millions of dollars selling breathing work out videos to the masses...promising HUGE weight loss.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pvy_uJxJ_-g

Angel_Grove_

Best. Thread. Ever.

skullshank

i'm giving up breathing for lent for this very reason. i hear the saran wrap tricks works for this and in addition removes fat from the face.

leonelr04

I stopped breathing for a few months but I turned this weird purple color. Not very appealing. I was in the best shape ever though. I'm slowly breathing again and have regained my normal skin color.

CallMeCupcakeDammit

allthecatfishies wrote: »

CallMeCupcakeDammit wrote: »

I just realized how old this thread is, but hilarious thread is still hilarious. I hope I didn't wake up my daughter with my laughter.

This is true. And...

Hi CupcakeDammit! :smooched:

Hi Mister Universe!!! :smooched:

barry1992

skullshank wrote: »

i'm giving up breathing for lent for this very reason. i hear the saran wrap tricks works for this and in addition removes fat from the face.

This is clearly the best remedy for excessive breathing I have seen Well done. Can I be bold enough to take your wonderful suggestion a step further ? Once wrapped in clingfilm can we not stick our head in a microwave and induce a sauna effect but switching on at a full 800 Watts for several minutes. Im sure this will open those stubborn pores and reduce blackheads. Please remember to take all possible safety precautions before you attempt this.........oh and please make a will first

mcibty

Joannah700 wrote: »

After reading this, I'm not sure how this conflicts with intermittent farting practices. Maybe I should just give it all up and breathe when I fart, wait a second... maybe not.

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/695972/intermittent-farting/p1

INTERMITTENT FARTING - Genius

elephant2mouse

This is why you're my favourite.

I do hope your breathing disorder has slowed down. I've been there... Sometimes I slip up and breathe really deep breaths... The deeper breaths are more fattening than the shallow breaths... I might just have to try the intermittent farting technique.

mcibty

So do I need to do less breaths, but heavy ones, or more breaths but lighter ones?

So confused still.

TheRoadDog

It's more likely that your weight affects your breathing.

elephant2mouse

If you breathe heavy, you need to do it sparingly. Everytime I breathe heavy I gain so much weight.. They say it's healthier weight but I just don't want to turn into a balloon and fly away

urloved33

p4ulmiller wrote: »

Have you tried the no-breathing diet? Basically, you take all the oxygen you need for the day, whizz it up in a blender and drink it. You'll find you don't need to breathe until the next morning.

It stops you pooping properly,but that's a small price to pay.

In fact, thinking about it, it stops you doing most things. :ohwell:

ba ha ha ha

urloved33

mccindy72 wrote: »

As a Respiratory Therapist, I can tell you that you should be breathing less sugar, fat and carbs. Try breathing more protein and raw greens and see if that helps.

lol

Trueray

Stop breathing...then problem solved.

TheRoadDog

laurielima wrote: »

mccindy72 wrote: »

As a Respiratory Therapist, I can tell you that you should be breathing less sugar, fat and carbs. Try breathing more protein and raw greens and see if that helps.

lol

But don't breathe more asparagus, because the rest of us don't want to breathe it, too.

AkCyclist

If you smoke filtered cigarettes it'll filter out some of the air, clear your lungs of air, and also reduce your lungs in size. It works.

barry1992

STOP this nonsense !! The original and very pertinent point was how not to breathe so much. Various methods stated here regarding different ways of breathing are indeed themselves....a waste of breath.
I once stopped breathing altogether but was ok after my paying M.P loosened the gimp ball. However , this is not recommended as my lack of breathing on this occasion led me to wake up with a sore bottom. The reason for this is still in the hands of my G.P.............

kalin73

Work on your posture