Would you date someone overweight?

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  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    whenever chicks start saying they care about "personality" and "conversation' it just makes me LOL because it is the biggest load of BS ever….

    For some women (and men), it quite possibly is a load of BS, However, if it is a mature person instead of someone looking for eye candy and a good time in bed, conversation is a definite plus. As is personality. I'm pretty sure when I am 80, wrinkled and saggy no one will be looking at me and thinking, "Hey, what a hottie!" SO...that being said...if you are looking for long term...you better be building it on something other than someone's 6 pack abs, and nice booty. ;)


    Why not both? Why can't I seek a nice abs and a great personality? Why is there this implication that they're mutually exclusive?

    I mean, holy crap, I married a man who meet my standards of attractiveness, is great in bed, and (AGAINST ALL ODDS) is also smart, funny, sweet, kind, and compliments me perfectly. I didn't have to settle in one area to find someone great in others, so why is everyone on this "Well who cares what they look like, unless you're immature, how they act is blahblahblha!" kick?

    It is all important. All of it. That's not immature, that's being unwilling to settle for a person I don't find attractive just because they're 'nice'. Like. Eww. What is this strange sad culture of settling for less than what you really want all about?

    Perfect answer. There seems to be a stereotype being perpetuated here that overweight people have good hearts and personalities and fit people are A-holes. You have to pick one or the other - personality or physical attractiveness. It's just not true AT ALL. There are jerks and awesome people in ALL sizes. No reason to settle for anything less than the whole package in my opinion...My husband is the whole package and he thinks I am, too. :heart:

    *edited typo

    I think SunofBeach called it a few pages back; people are justifying their choice by implying that you can't be a great person and look great, so people who want someone who looks good (to them) must be shallow and not concerned with personality, which isn't necessarily the case at all.

    I wouldn't date some tool just because he was hot and I wouldn't date someone who isn't attractive just because they're nice.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    Lol@Walrus to mermaid
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
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    Heck, I married someone overweight! I had to decide weather I wanted this person in my life, heavy or not.. HEAVY!!!!!!! Now I am overweight and he is NOT. You just never know how life will turn. It's time for both of us to be thin now.
  • stuckinsecond
    stuckinsecond Posts: 39
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    Would be far too restrictive to worry about weight. It's hard enough to find someone compatible. But I'm one of the lucky ones ;)

    edit: restructured sentence for clarity.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    whenever chicks start saying they care about "personality" and "conversation' it just makes me LOL because it is the biggest load of BS ever….

    For some women (and men), it quite possibly is a load of BS, However, if it is a mature person instead of someone looking for eye candy and a good time in bed, conversation is a definite plus. As is personality. I'm pretty sure when I am 80, wrinkled and saggy no one will be looking at me and thinking, "Hey, what a hottie!" SO...that being said...if you are looking for long term...you better be building it on something other than someone's 6 pack abs, and nice booty. ;)


    Why not both? Why can't I seek a nice abs and a great personality? Why is there this implication that they're mutually exclusive?

    I mean, holy crap, I married a man who meet my standards of attractiveness, is great in bed, and (AGAINST ALL ODDS) is also smart, funny, sweet, kind, and compliments me perfectly. I didn't have to settle in one area to find someone great in others, so why is everyone on this "Well who cares what they look like, unless you're immature, how they act is blahblahblha!" kick?

    It is all important. All of it. That's not immature, that's being unwilling to settle for a person I don't find attractive just because they're 'nice'. Like. Eww. What is this strange sad culture of settling for less than what you really want all about?

    Perfect answer. There seems to be a stereotype being perpetuated here that overweight people have good hearts and personalities and fit people are A-holes. You have to pick one or the other - personality or physical attractiveness. It's just not true AT ALL. There are jerks and awesome people in ALL sizes. No reason to settle for anything less than the whole package in my opinion...My husband is the whole package and he thinks I am, too. :heart:

    *edited typo

    I think SunofBeach called it a few pages back; people are justifying their choice by implying that you can't be a great person and look great, so people who want someone who looks good (to them) must be shallow and not concerned with personality, which isn't necessarily the case at all.

    I wouldn't date some tool just because he was hot and I wouldn't date someone who isn't attractive just because they're nice.

    :drinker:
  • sarahmichel101
    sarahmichel101 Posts: 158 Member
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    Lol@Walrus to mermaid

    It's from How I Met your Mother, I am not that original. Sorry to deceive!
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
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    I did, and the sex was great but going out was not so good

    Jealous. I had the opposite experience, which ultimately ended both of my long term relationships. I can go all night, so overweight or not thats something I need in a man.

    All night? Who has the time?

    If someone doesn't have the time to do that at least once and awhile I won't be happy haha.

    I have a job. I need at least some sleep.

    I do too? Well I guess we won't be dating anytime soon. Also no need to talk down :). Everyone has different likes.

    I wasn't talking down to you. :huh:

    Your need to sleep is extremely condescending and it needs to be worked on!!
  • feliscatus84
    feliscatus84 Posts: 80 Member
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    I am over weight, and have not dated in some years. I'm 28 and sometimes I really struggle with the emotions associated with being alone and being overweight. I am 107kg and at my biggest was156kg. I like guys that are smart and fit, having respect for his body is really important to me, and I've come to the collusion that this is where the conflict is for me.

    If I want to be with a guy that is fit and gealthy I also need to be fit and healthy. Not that I've ever really been unhealthy, but certainly to unite with the sit part of guy I want to be with I feel I need to be able to keep up.

    Say all we want about loving people for who they are, not how they look, at the end of the day we are what we eat and what we do and soda guzzling junk food addicts arnt my thing.

    Well I will tell you this! I dated a man that had great abs and his body was lean as hell but cut in the right places. He took very good care of his body in general but I sent him packing. We didn't mesh well personality wise. My now fiancè is a little thicker but still works out consistently. He has toned arms from lifting, nice back and butt but not washboard abs by any means. He won me over because he treated me with respect, looked out for me, and is an all around good guy. Better looking in the face too. So despite having a sick body the other guy lost.

    The kicker? I'm overweight like you. I'm on here to lose weight for myself this time around. But I will tell you that I've NEVER had any problems getting a fit guy who cares about his body. So there you go. A "fat" girl can get hers as well. It's just preference when it comes down to it. Thick, thin, short, tall, etc. You can't help what you are attracted to. You also don't have to settle by any means and that's great if you do find both if that's what you're looking for. But I also think that some people spend a lot of time searching when a great person could be right in front of them! So for me basically it's keeping an open mind and seeing that certain qualities can outweigh the "ideal" body type.
  • TheFisherKing
    TheFisherKing Posts: 935
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    Fat bottom girls you make the rockin' world go 'round!
  • lj5109
    lj5109 Posts: 81 Member
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    Would be far too restrictive to worry about weight. It's hard enough to find someone compatible. But I'm one of the lucky ones ;)

    edit: restructured sentence for clarity.

    It helps that you're cute! lol
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    I did, and the sex was great but going out was not so good

    Jealous. I had the opposite experience, which ultimately ended both of my long term relationships. I can go all night, so overweight or not thats something I need in a man.

    All night? Who has the time?

    If someone doesn't have the time to do that at least once and awhile I won't be happy haha.

    I have a job. I need at least some sleep.

    I do too? Well I guess we won't be dating anytime soon. Also no need to talk down :). Everyone has different likes.

    I wasn't talking down to you. :huh:

    Your need to sleep is extremely condescending and it needs to be worked on!!

    My need to sleep is a c-block
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    Achrya is ignoring me because I'm white.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    I would, but there is more that I want to say.

    First, to all those saying that they need to be physically attracted to a guy to even get to know them....have you even went to college, joined a group, or maybe even have friends? Physical attraction to the point that you are drawn into wanted to f**k a guy is generally only a bar thing. There are other ways to meet people and get to know them. I know I have found myself physically attracted to someone after getting to know them.



    Oh. I've been doing this whole attraction thing all wrong then; I met my husband through friends and I knew the minute I saw him what exactly I wanted to do to him. (I don't think we've ever even been to a bar together) By contrast I've met plenty of perfectly nice men who I can hang out with, spend time with, and be friends with...but none of them were ever going to be dating material, because they weren't attractive (to me).

    I'm interested in this magical attractiveness you speak of. Do you just get so used to seeing them that the way they look ceases to register or what? Genuine question.



    Edit: I don't date short guys either.


    You've never gotten to know someone and find them more attractive because of who they are? You're no more attracted to your husband now than when you met him? Walrus to mermaid does happen, and to an extent I find in every relationship it happens. The more knowledge, respect, experiences, commonalities, conversations ect. that you have with someone the more desirable they are.

    More attracted to my husband? No. I like him more than when I met him, but he's not more physically attractive, no. My desire for him isn't increased because he's awesome, though it certainly makes us great friends as well, which is why we didn't just bang and forget about each other.

    I actually dated a man who didn't strike my fancy because we were friends and I wanted to like him (and everyone said we were a natural fit.) But in the end I had to break it off because he didn't do anything for me and there was no reason to settle just because he was a cool dude. I'd even go so far as to say I loved him but I wasn't going to settle for love and no sexual attraction when the possibility of love and attraction existed.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    Achrya is ignoring me because I'm white.

    Boy please, have you seen my husband? Whitest thing to ever come out of Texas. Lucky for him I dig that pasty lanky gamer look and don't mind that I can't take him out in the sun.

    I'd flip a coin but I'm not sure on what the policy on other men in my marriage is. I'll get back to you as soon as I've been informed though.
  • raven_ous
    raven_ous Posts: 223
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    Achrya is ignoring me because I'm white.
    I thought it was because you are follicly challenged :wink:
  • raven_ous
    raven_ous Posts: 223
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    Achrya is ignoring me because I'm white.

    Boy please, have you seen my husband? Whitest thing to ever come out of Texas. Lucky for him I dig that pasty lanky gamer look and don't mind that I can't take him out in the sun.

    I'd flip a coin but I'm not sure on what the policy on other men in my marriage is. I'll get back to you as soon as I've been informed though.
    Sweet I have a chance as well.:love:
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    Achrya is ignoring me because I'm white.

    Boy please, have you seen my husband? Whitest thing to ever come out of Texas. Lucky for him I dig that pasty lanky gamer look and don't mind that I can't take him out in the sun.

    I'd flip a coin but I'm not sure on what the policy on other men in my marriage is. I'll get back to you as soon as I've been informed though.

    I have seen him, which is why I made that comment. :tongue:
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    Achrya is ignoring me because I'm white.
    I thought it was because you are follicly challenged :wink:

    I can accept when girls don't like bald men.
  • raven_ous
    raven_ous Posts: 223
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    Achrya is ignoring me because I'm white.
    I thought it was because you are follicly challenged :wink:

    I can accept when girls don't like bald men.
    Ditto!

    Hell I can accept if people just aren't attracted to people full stop. Can't force attraction.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    Achrya is ignoring me because I'm white.
    I thought it was because you are follicly challenged :wink:

    I can accept when girls don't like bald men.
    Ditto!

    Hell I can accept if people just aren't attracted to people full stop. Can't force attraction.

    Yup, doesn't make them a bad person to have preferences.

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