Dealing with Haters

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  • Mrsallypants
    Mrsallypants Posts: 887 Member
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    It's just chronic harassment that creates a hostile environment. Report it to someone and have them sanctioned.

    If it is legal, record them doing it for evidence, and post it on YouTube.
  • fittlefattle
    fittlefattle Posts: 20
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    OMG THIS PI**ES ME OFF! I want to cram those b*tches into....yeah I'm just gonna stop right here because nobody needs that kind of creative reading.

    Bunch of nasty gashes! And an effing 35 year old?! Are you kidding me? I bet she's a real gem, LOVE to meet that one in person.

    Anyway, I'm sorry this happens to you. And you've been given some great advice. I often pull great strength from the pit of my guts where the hateful remarks and sh*tty memories lurk. Sometimes during a workout I will actively choose to think about someone or something that just p*sses-me-off and it works like a charm every time, I'll plow right through that workout. It's so terrible when it's happening, but later on when you get some detachment from this garbage, it will make great kindling for your inner fire. Use it now, use their stupid *kitten* against them. Become their worst fear, become fit, strong, empowered and proud of yourself. They don't need to know it's happening, they'll see it happening. I'm 34 years old and believe me, some of these b*tches NEVER grow up. There are a couple down the hall right now that are simply senior versions of what you're talking about. We must move around these people, and sometimes we must plow right through them, but we do not let them move us off our course. We don't! Be good to yourself, whatever you do.

    Ugh. I still want to smash them.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    The teacher spoke to them last term about the bullying and they let up for about a week, and then came up with the chubby chasers prank. I really don't want to know what will happen if I report them again. I really just don't understand how and why twentysomethings are being so freaking hateful, or how to deal with it. I stress/emotionally eat and I know I do it, and they just keep pushing my buttons.

    Maybe making snide comments back is the answer, but then they turn around and report me for a "bad attitude."

    Channel all of your hurt and frustration into your exercise.

    And remember: You can fix fat, you can never fix an ugly personality.

    They will always be ugly (inside), you can change your appearance and will always be beautiful (inside).
  • susie3g
    susie3g Posts: 267
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    They aren't haters, they're *kitten*. Tell them laughing at an overweight person going to the gym is like laughing at a person with cancer going to the doctor. Should shut them up. If not then block their texts/emails.

    I love this comeback! To the point and *should* shut them up. And yes, I would totally block their texts and such.
  • ktsmom430
    ktsmom430 Posts: 1,100 Member
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    I am so sorry you have to put up with this. These people are incredibly ignorant, immature and outright nasty human beings.
    We know how hard it is to have to listen to them, but please do not let them win.

    You have all of us in your corner, rooting for you to succeed, and you WILL succeed! Think about all of us here on MFP pulling for you to get to the point where you can finish the class.

    Take courage from the fact that you are the better person in every way that matters!
  • iloveadam2013
    iloveadam2013 Posts: 3
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    the difference is...you can lose the weight.....they can't lose the ugly.........**fist pump**.... you got this! Keep up your spinning, I admire you. I stopped going to the gym because I didn't like the way I looked compared to others...it was a bit discouraging, but I'm at the point where I am finally past the feeling and I've restarted my food diaries and being more active. I have to rekindle my love of exercise. It's for our lives, and it feels good to feel good... so that 15 minutes was great!! Spinning is no joke! Just wait, each time you go push to add an extra five minutes. Forget the haters! They're usually unhappy with themselves and target others to take the weight off of them. Keep up the good work!
  • gramacanada
    gramacanada Posts: 558 Member
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    Or ..... You could look them straight in the eye and say (faking sincerity)

    "Thank you for spending so much time thinking about me"
    I realize it takes a lot of energy and forethought"

    Then smile nicely and walk away.

    Repeat it whenever they start.
    I've seen this one work before.

    Other than that there ia a lot of good advice here.
    I wish you well on your journey.
  • MsLaTisha83
    MsLaTisha83 Posts: 54 Member
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    Those girls suffer from serious self esteem and self hatred issues. I'm sorry you have to deal with that! You don't want to drop down to their level (you are SO much better than that!) . You've been given some good advice. I say, try not to let them get to you, focus on yourself and your happiness, and know that karma is a b****. They will get theirs. Remember that you are THAT important and so BEAUTIFUL! that they can't help but to go out of their way to pay you some attention :-) They want YOUR attention, why else would they be bothering you? Their lives are so boring and meaningless that they can't think of anything better to do but to mess with someone who is actually trying to live and enjoy her life. Try not to give them any attention. Treat them as if they do not exist because in your reality, they don't! You are too focused on living a happy and healthy life that you do not have the time for insecure, negative, miserable, b****es. The best way to get up under someone's skin is to treat them as a non factor because they are just that, non factors.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    Or ..... You could look them straight in the eye and say (faking sincerity)

    "Thank you for spending so much time thinking about me"
    Then walk away.

    Repeat it whenever they start.
    I've seen this one work before.

    Other than that there ia a lot of good advice here.
    I wish you well on your journey.

    that is something I think of too

    "wow did you spend all day thinking of those for me? I feel so super extra special that you would devote so much time to me- because to be honest with you- I gave you as much thought as I gave..................................." (fill in the blank with
    that upper decker I left at your mom's house (because mom jokes are almost always funny)
    " as much thought as I gave- oh wait- I don't have any thoughts for you at all"
    " insert any other trival thing you would never care about"
  • nmncare
    nmncare Posts: 168 Member
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    The best revenge in the world in my opinion?? Proving people wrong. Use it as motivation!! And one day when you are where you want to be.. go shove it in their face. The thing I have learned about people like that is that they are so insecure and unhappy with their own lives.. they put others down. In the end, I believe in karma. And Pathetic people like that get what's coming to them. I'm so sorry you have do deal with that.

    Don't give up!! Keep going!! And the day you last a full hour will be a great feeling. You can do this!! :)
  • acarmelo1
    acarmelo1 Posts: 76 Member
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    The best revenge is getting thin and then punch their face.
  • wmstormvet
    wmstormvet Posts: 145
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    I think I'd have to throat punch those punk girls.... I mean.....You just keep doing what you are doing! The heck with those rude bi*t*hes!!! :explode: I hate people like that... Even when you are trying to do something good, there is always someone who thinks they can be mean!
  • wmstormvet
    wmstormvet Posts: 145
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    the difference is...you can lose the weight.....they can't lose the ugly.........**fist pump**....

    ^^^ THIS!! OR I can lose weight but you will always be a Bit*h!! :flowerforyou:
  • tesha_chandler
    tesha_chandler Posts: 378 Member
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    I agree with throat punching them!! But seriously, my cousin used to treat me like that.. She is tiny and perfect and pointed out every single flaw that I have ever had in my life... and you know what she is now? Alone. Because she is such a hateful, awful person that no one wants to be around her. Be a good person, work hard for YOU and don't ever become like them. Let them be an example of everything you don't want to be. Document everything that they do to you and file a complaint.
  • tesha_chandler
    tesha_chandler Posts: 378 Member
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    Better yet, contact the police.. They are harassing you and depending on the extent of it and your states laws, it may even be considered stalking (far fetched, but possible) Have the police contact them and I would guarantee that it'll stop.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    The best revenge in the world in my opinion?? Proving people wrong. Use it as motivation!! And one day when you are where you want to be.. go shove it in their face.

    I totally disagree with this line of thinking. Not saying it's bad for others to see life this way, but I don't at all. I actually think it would prove NOTHING to these wretched women if you got down to a size 2 and looked hot. They would just hate you anyway! They are filled with hate.

    I've actually been pretty lucky not to be bullied for my weight much, but there was one woman who worked in my office when I was at my heaviest (307 lb) who said things behind my back that were reported to me. She was overweight too, just not as drastically as I was at that time. But when I imagine confronting her at my current size or thinner, it really does nothing for me. I am still just as hurt by the comments she made. And if she saw me now at her size or actually a bit smaller than she is, that wouldn't teach her any lesson. That wouldn't right any wrong. Just my opinion.

    More ideas for the OP:

    Can you physically segregate yourself from these 2 women? Move across the classroom or to the very front or back of the room? I don't know the class size or dimensions of the classroom but surely this is possible. Is there one night school teacher or several?

    While you might not want to make big waves like talking to a dean/principal, perhaps it is time for that if the teacher(s) seem to be a dead end for this issue.

    I don't like the idea of saying some comeback line to these women like making fun of their own weight, I think they would just laugh at you more and there's no need to stoop to their level. However, what about saying something extremely direct to them, like "What do you get out of being so mean to me? I'd honestly like to know."
  • klalsaleh
    klalsaleh Posts: 13
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    the thing about people like this is they have their own insecurities that they are dealing with so they project onto you by teasing and belittling you....trust me they have bigger issues than you....i personally would just ignore them but use their negativity as fuel to make yourself better..keep going to your spin class and sooner or later youll be spinning pass their *kitten*. just dont give up on your goal. keep going and little by little you will get better and then you will be able to look back and feel very accomplished and even help others who were like you used to be.
  • blunderball
    blunderball Posts: 21 Member
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    I'm assuming you paid tuition to attend this school. The administrators are not keeping their side of the bargain. I'm sure their literature offered a fulfilling and enjoyable experience. Report these brats as high as you can. Tell them if effective action isn't taken immediately, you will go to the media and a lawyer. They are not fulfilling their contract. Don't accept that. FIGHT!

    If you can't fight for yourself, fight for every other person these snags have bullied.
  • PhearlessPhreaks
    PhearlessPhreaks Posts: 890 Member
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    PS - my mom always taught me to hit back - someone on the playground is being a bully and hitting you - hit them back once and make it count. Guess what? It works - There is nothing wrong with defending yourself - do not go out of your way to cause a fight, be mean, dont be a bully yourself, dont make fun of people and generally treat people the way you want to be treated but if someone is being rude/ruthless/mean/abusive - there is NOTHING wrong with defending yourself.

    Exactly. I was bulled in 7th and part of 8th grade... it stopped when I stuck up for myself. I first tried to ignore them; at the time, I was shy and insecure and didn't know how to stand up for myself, so ignoring them was safe. It didn't work- in fact, it made them more mean, trying to get a reaction out of me. Then I tried being nice and friendly- yeah, that worked REALLY well. It wasn't until I threatened the queen bee that things stopped. She and I sat next to each other in homeroom and a few other classes due to alphabetical seating. One day, I just got fed up with it, and made a fist wih my middle finger knuckle raised up (I have no idea what that's called, or if it is a thing, I just figured if I actually hit someone like that it might hurt more) said something like 'do it again and see what happens' under my breath and gave her the death stare every time I noticed her looking at me. Believe it or not, that's all it took. She left me alone, and so did her crew. All I had to do was stand up for myself and show some backbone.

    Bullies are all the same, whether they're 13, twenty-something, or middle aged men who run entire countries. Bullies pick on who they perceive as weak, and leave alone those who they perceive to be more 'badass' then they think themselves to be.

    So OP, I reiterate: stand up for yourself in whatever way is most natural to you.
  • Iknewyouweretrouble
    Iknewyouweretrouble Posts: 561 Member
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    Be petty. Point out something theyre insecure about whether it's true or not. "hey at least my eyes arent so far apart." Love insecure *****es. Remember, they're probably even more insecure than you are to be talking to you that way thinking you'd care.

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