Came for support....so disappointed
Replies
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Add more friends and stay off the forums is probably the best advice you will get. Diet pills are controversial in real life so it would be foolish to assume on a site dedicated to calorie in vs calorie out that it would be otherwise.
Being fat sucks, and feeling like you have no support sucks even more but posting topics like this won't garner you a lot of kind words as others have had tremendous success AND support from this site.
So put your big girl panties on and move on from what you consider to be haters/nonsupportive people.
I hope the pills truly help you and that your journey to being a fitter you is successful.0 -
If you wanted to smoke meth, because it helped you lose weight. That's your business. But, you can't expect everyone here to agree with that and gently support you.
You can make all the excuses you want. This is your life. Live it like you want. Just remember, the world doesn't have to be nice, fair, or respect your choices.0 -
First of all:
and I completely agree with this:I've noticed a lot of people confuse "support" with "agreeing with everything I say no matter how dangerous or silly it is." If you just want people to say yes yes yes to you, you're in the wrong place.
NOt agreeing with everything you say doesn't = being mean.0 -
Sorry you are having this experience. I find that a lot of the members here can be smart-*kitten* instead of finding a nice way to suggest things. I pretty much just stick to my friends on here to ask questions to instead of posting questions on the forums. I DO have a question for you. Have you had a complete blood panel done? I think that would be in order, as you could have something like hypothyroidism going on. I have it and it CAN slow down weight loss, some have more problems from it than others, but that could be a reason.....or something else going on. It wouldn't hurt to get it checked anyway. Also, I am going to send you a friend request. :-)0
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Everyone has their own journey to health and fitness. That should be the end of the discussion, but some people just don't know when to stop talking. Ignore the haters and do what works for you. In the end, doing what works for you will make you prouder of your end results. ...a lesson I am still learning. Good luck!0
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THIS!!!!!Been here for almost 2 years. I've read everything on the forums and I've learned A LOT. Most of the people I listened to were snarky. They gave the information, had no time for excuses, but they were most encouraging when you were open to changing your mind.
I have lost over 100 pounds and I have another 35 or so left. Without those people, I would still be eating < 1200 calories and killing myself with tons of cardio. Never going back there.
But, if you feel like people are being mean - as others have said - add like minded friends to your profile and stick to groups.0 -
yes, I read the post..I just don't understand the contradictory language…if you lost 45 pounds that means calorie deficit does in fact work for you ..but then you turned it around to say that some of us are different and strict adherence to calories and a deficit may not work …so that just confused me..I feel for you. I've been plateaued/ gaining for over two years while supposedly eating at a deficit. I have run every calculator on the web, and I have tried a deficit from 250-750 calories. I think this covers a reasonable margin of error. I have tried a "reset" and thus gained 15 lbs. NOTHING is working for me either. I bought a new food scale. I weigh, I measure, I even count my chips and nuts. I work out. Usually six days a week. 4 days of circuit training with a lot of strength and 2 days of cardio, usually running. I used a heart rate monitor. I now use a Bodymedia. I have figured net calories and eaten back exercise calories. I have used the %off TDEE method. I tried straight lifting for awhile. I am human, so I'm sure that my logging of both food and exercise is not 100% accurate, but I have tried various deficits! and I should at least be seeing a small loss! not as gain! Currently I am just including a margin of error in my deficit/goal.
Nothing works. NOTHING. (And it used to work. Four years ago I lost nearly 45 lbs using MFP reccomendations. I am still maintaining a healthy weight, but I am unhappy with regaining 15 lbs and not being able to lose it.)
So I certainly understand your frustration. And people on the boards are not kind about this. (Please don't tell me I eat too little--the calculators say I should maintain at 1490 cals for sedentary, so anyone with half a brain can do the math for creating a deficit. Small, low body weight people simply don't burn many calories, even when you add in more exercise ise cals--say 150-200 more a day.)
I personally would not want to try a stimulant, especially since heart issues are all over my family tree, but I would think this has more to do with your doctors recommendations for YOU and no one else. My biggest question would be, and I think you pointed this out--will the metabolism boost from the meds remain when you stop the meds. Very valid question.
I would echo the good advice of several--try to ignore the idiots on the boards who have not been taught basic social skills, sift comments carefully, and add friends carefully who will help you. Add me if you like. I don't have the answers but I am searching and I love hearing new ideas that are presented I a courteous manner.
how did you lose 45 pounds if calorie deficit does not work for you???
Read more carefully. I said that the MFP method (which is eating at deficit) is how I lost the 45 lbs. but suddenly, about a year into maintenance, the rules for my body evidently changed. I did not change anything, but started to gain while eating at maintenance. Then I tried going back to MFP method. No loss. Tried "eat more to weigh less" and other similar ideas, gained 15 lbs, and I'm still searching. (Btw I never stopped logging)
Technically eating at a deficit will still work for me. The problem is no calculator or device seems to give me a reliable TDEE for MY BODY. And there is no reasonable explanation for why. So if I can find the deficit number. . .
The problem seems to ultimately be that my deficit number will be smaller than anyone seems to think is healthy. For instance, I have been eating about 1400-1450 cals a day for about 8 weeks, while exercising about 35 minutes a day, vigorously ( run 10 min miles or do boot camp style circuit training mixed with strength training). So next I drop down to 1300-1350 a day while exercising. That'll get plenty of people on here worked up.
The point I am trying to make is just that there are a small percentage of us whose bodies don't play by exactly the same rules. I know this because I know how it has been when the "rules" changed! Maybe it's menopause, maybe thermogenesis adaptation , who knows. But for some of us it is real. When you are struggling with this over the long haul it can make you overly sensitive to all the unkind feedback. You can get a bit defensive,as the OP may be. I am just posting to let her know I understand, and hopefully to help others see another point of view. I guess I've always advocated for the underdog. . .
I would suggest following neander's advice as it is always solid.0 -
I could not agree with your use of diet pills - this is true.
If me disagreeing with your use of chemicals is disappointing - OK. We can agree to disagree!0 -
Feel free to add me if you would like friends. These message boards can be bad, take it with a grain of salt.0
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Read more carefully. I said that the MFP method (which is eating at deficit) is how I lost the 45 lbs. but suddenly, about a year into maintenance, the rules for my body evidently changed. I did not change anything, but started to gain while eating at maintenance. Then I tried going back to MFP method. No loss. Tried "eat more to weigh less" and other similar ideas, gained 15 lbs, and I'm still searching. (Btw I never stopped logging)
Technically eating at a deficit will still work for me. The problem is no calculator or device seems to give me a reliable TDEE for MY BODY. And there is no reasonable explanation for why. So if I can find the deficit number. . .
The problem seems to ultimately be that my deficit number will be smaller than anyone seems to think is healthy. For instance, I have been eating about 1400-1450 cals a day for about 8 weeks, while exercising about 35 minutes a day, vigorously ( run 10 min miles or do boot camp style circuit training mixed with strength training). So next I drop down to 1300-1350 a day while exercising. That'll get plenty of people on here worked up.
The point I am trying to make is just that there are a small percentage of us whose bodies don't play by exactly the same rules. I know this because I know how it has been when the "rules" changed! Maybe it's menopause, maybe thermogenesis adaptation , who knows. But for some of us it is real. When you are struggling with this over the long haul it can make you overly sensitive to all the unkind feedback. You can get a bit defensive,as the OP may be. I am just posting to let her know I understand, and hopefully to help others see another point of view. I guess I've always advocated for the underdog. . .
1. have you had your thyroid checked? have you been tested for other conditions like PCOS that can affect the metabolism? If you really are burning that much fewer calories than the calorie calculators predict and you're being realistic about your activity factor, then this could be an indication of
2. if 1. is what's happening, then drugs like phentermine will make the problem worse, not better. e.g. if you have an underactive thyroid, you need thyroid medication to get your metabolism back to where it should be, then you will be able to lose weight on a more reasonable amount of food.
3. if adaptive thermogenesis is the issue, phentermine and low calorie diets will make it worse, not better. You need to eat a lot more and do strength training to rebuild your muscles in that situation... but if you never did any VLCDs it's probably not this
4. are you weighing and measuring everything accurately? YOu may be eating more than you think. You may have been in deficit in spite of overestimating your portions initially, hence the 45lb weight loss followed by a plateau. Weigh your food, cups are not that accurate.
Also, re weight gain at maintenance calories.... how long did you wait before deciding that you're gaining weight? Because after eating at a calorie deficit then returning to maintenance, you can expect to gain as much as 5lb in glycogen and water weight only. It's common for people when switching to maintenance calories to see this gain and freak out, thinking that they're in a calorie surplus, then they're scared they "wrecked" their metabolism. If you're sure that this is not what's going on, and you really are gaining *fat* when you're eating at maintenance,
OR if you suddenly started gaining weight after successfully maintaining.... what changed? Did your activity levels change (e.g. change of a job, not walking as much? - this can lower your TDEE and cause you to start gaining weight on the same number of calories as you previously maintained on.
If you're 100% certain that you measured all your food accurately, and calculated your TDEE correctly with the a reliable calorie calculator, and you were realistic about your activity factor, and your real world results suggest you're burning way fewer calories than predicted (100-200 calories different could be explained by normal biological variation so just subtract this amount from your calorie goal and go from there) - really big differences can be indicative of problems such as underactive thyroid which need to be treated with the right kind of medication. If you're not 100% certain you did all that, then that's what you have to do for a few weeks to see if your weight loss starts again. I know it seems really anal weighing everything you eat, but sometimes that's what you've got to do and plenty of people on this site needed to do that before they succeeded.
I think you missed the first part of my post which answers some of your questions. I am not the OP, just dropped into tell her my story in support of frustration at feeling that nothing works!
Your responses make a lot so sense, though, and are said courteously. I will follow up on the new ideas. I always appreciate pointers from people who post in this manner. Unfortunately this is not a new change. It is a change that started over two years ago, and I have been documenting the struggles. I haven't had thyroid test anytime in the pat 5 years, mostly because I don't have any other symptoms. I do likely have pcos.
Anyway, as far as rude vs helpful but critical posts, I am guessing it is not this kind of post the OP was talking about! This kind of constructive criticism is helpful and thought provoking.
sorry for any confusion, this thread is confusing lol... yep I think I got you and the OP confused
anyway glad you found some of what I posted helpful!0 -
if you're doing everything and not losing then two words come to mind: 'secret eater''? (we have a reality series on tv about this in the UK - its enlightening! people forget about what they have eaten etc) i'm sorry and i dont mean to hurt you but its cos there's too many calories being consumed, its all something we had to open our eyes to
its why i joined mfp ☺ but so many of us have and been successful with counting our cals so there's no reason why you can't either ☺
I wish you every success.
Ruth0 -
Hey! Screw the judgmental ppl because they clearly have forgotten that we all started somewhere and have had hard times. If they didn't and were so perfect they shouldn't need to be on here anyhow right? I have PCOS and unless you have it ppl just don't understand the hell you go through with the weight struggle.
Why don't you join me and my friends on here and maybe we can even help! No judgements here...I ate horribly this weekend so I'd hope not. You're going to be ok!!0 -
Taking medications is a fools errand unless you are actually fixing underlying medical issues.....phentermine, etc is a quick fix at best that will NOT LAST and at worst will kill you. If you have an under active thyroid then it may make sense to medicate but even that should be done as a last resort IMO.
I have been utterly amazed at what proper diet and daily INTENSE exercise will do....calories in/calories out is the bottom line no matter how much you dislike the answer, the key is finding the balance between diet and exercise that gives you the results you want.
You can do no exercise and a starvation diet and lose weight but what kind of life is that? I have dropped cardio from my routine and started incorporating HEAVY weight lifting and cross-fit type training along with a great diet.....my weight loss has slowly started up again WITHOUT cardio...... but more importantly I feel great! Keep trying and look for answers, this site is amazing if you listen to the positive and not the negative. Losing a lot of weight and turning your life around May make some people cocky but I think they mean well for the most part. GOOD LUCK!0 -
I am sorry you had to experience that here. momof3inca, said it best, develop your network of supportive friends who will encourage you on YOUR journey. This is after all YOUR journey not THEIRS. Let the haters be haters and the naysayers can just stuff it. The best way to reply to a NEGATIVE post is this, I am sorry YOU feel that way. What ever happened to, if you cannot say anything nice or supportive then keep your mouth shut, are people missing. Yes people can be mean and cruel and associate yourself with those that are not. Feel free to add me as a friend. I will support anyone, who is trying to better themselves just as I am. HOW you do it is YOUR choice.0
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I am sorry you had to experience that here. momof3inca, said it best, develop your network of supportive friends who will encourage you on YOUR journey. This is after all YOUR journey not THEIRS. Let the haters be haters and the naysayers can just stuff it. The best way to reply to a NEGATIVE post is this, I am sorry YOU feel that way. What ever happened to, if you cannot say anything nice or supportive then keep your mouth shut, are people missing. Yes people can be mean and cruel and associate yourself with those that are not. Feel free to add me as a friend. I will support anyone, who is trying to better themselves just as I am. HOW you do it is YOUR choice.0
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OP you say in your very first post on MFP that you had been reading the boards for quite awhile and you had seen that those who talked about using drugs for weight loss were not supported or copped a lot of flack, why did you think it would be any different for you?
People generally find the best support when its like for like. MFP is a calorie counting site and a lot of the members are generally not supportive of anything that is different, but that's okay it is after all a calorie counting site. If a person is paleo they will find the best support for them on a paleo site, if a person is vegan they will find support on a vegan site, if a person is using optifast they would find the best support for them on an optifast forum. MFP also has groups and you will very likely find a group to support each of these, you will probably find a support group that supports the weight loss drug you are using.
If you are not finding the support you want and need on the MFP boards there will be many places you will find it,0 -
yes, I read the post..I just don't understand the contradictory language…if you lost 45 pounds that means calorie deficit does in fact work for you ..but then you turned it around to say that some of us are different and strict adherence to calories and a deficit may not work …so that just confused me..I feel for you. I've been plateaued/ gaining for over two years while supposedly eating at a deficit. I have run every calculator on the web, and I have tried a deficit from 250-750 calories. I think this covers a reasonable margin of error. I have tried a "reset" and thus gained 15 lbs. NOTHING is working for me either. I bought a new food scale . I weigh, I measure, I even count my chips and nuts. I work out. Usually six days a week. 4 days of circuit training with a lot of strength and 2 days of cardio, usually running. I used a heart rate monitor. I now use a Bodymedia. I have figured net calories and eaten back exercise calories. I have used the %off TDEE method. I tried straight lifting for awhile. I am human, so I'm sure that my logging of both food and exercise is not 100% accurate, but I have tried various deficits! and I should at least be seeing a small loss! not as gain! Currently I am just including a margin of error in my deficit/goal.
Nothing works. NOTHING. (And it used to work. Four years ago I lost nearly 45 lbs using MFP reccomendations. I am still maintaining a healthy weight, but I am unhappy with regaining 15 lbs and not being able to lose it.)
So I certainly understand your frustration. And people on the boards are not kind about this. (Please don't tell me I eat too little--the calculators say I should maintain at 1490 cals for sedentary, so anyone with half a brain can do the math for creating a deficit. Small, low body weight people simply don't burn many calories, even when you add in more exercise ise cals--say 150-200 more a day.)
I personally would not want to try a stimulant, especially since heart issues are all over my family tree, but I would think this has more to do with your doctors recommendations for YOU and no one else. My biggest question would be, and I think you pointed this out--will the metabolism boost from the meds remain when you stop the meds. Very valid question.
I would echo the good advice of several--try to ignore the idiots on the boards who have not been taught basic social skills, sift comments carefully, and add friends carefully who will help you. Add me if you like. I don't have the answers but I am searching and I love hearing new ideas that are presented I a courteous manner.
how did you lose 45 pounds if calorie deficit does not work for you???
Read more carefully. I said that the MFP method (which is eating at deficit) is how I lost the 45 lbs. but suddenly, about a year into maintenance, the rules for my body evidently changed. I did not change anything, but started to gain while eating at maintenance. Then I tried going back to MFP method. No loss. Tried "eat more to weigh less" and other similar ideas, gained 15 lbs, and I'm still searching. (Btw I never stopped logging)
Technically eating at a deficit will still work for me. The problem is no calculator or device seems to give me a reliable TDEE for MY BODY. And there is no reasonable explanation for why. So if I can find the deficit number. . .
The problem seems to ultimately be that my deficit number will be smaller than anyone seems to think is healthy. For instance, I have been eating about 1400-1450 cals a day for about 8 weeks, while exercising about 35 minutes a day, vigorously ( run 10 min miles or do boot camp style circuit training mixed with strength training). So next I drop down to 1300-1350 a day while exercising. That'll get plenty of people on here worked up.
The point I am trying to make is just that there are a small percentage of us whose bodies don't play by exactly the same rules. I know this because I know how it has been when the "rules" changed! Maybe it's menopause, maybe thermogenesis adaptation , who knows. But for some of us it is real. When you are struggling with this over the long haul it can make you overly sensitive to all the unkind feedback. You can get a bit defensive,as the OP may be. I am just posting to let her know I understand, and hopefully to help others see another point of view. I guess I've always advocated for the underdog. . .
I would suggest following neander's advice as it is always solid.
Copied and pasted from my post: .(And it used to work. Four years ago I lost nearly 45 lbs using MFP reccomendations.
Yes MFP deficit worked for me. Past tense. No longer works.
Not much changed for me as far as activity or lifestyle. Maybe and added stress. Certainly at some point I may have gotten sloppy in logging. No longer. I am as accurate as it is possible without some sort of lab. Another quote from above:
I bought a new food scale . I weigh, I measure, I even count my chips and nuts. I work out. Usually six days a week. 4 days of circuit training with a lot of strength and 2 days of cardio, usually running. I used a heart rate monitor. I now use a Bodymedia. I have figured net calories and eaten back exercise calories. I have used the %off TDEE method. . .
Obviously there is human error possible. I guess if I am trying for a 250 cal deficit, and then log 10 foods which are inaccurate by 20 cals, that could be removing my deficit. But then, I have gained while eating at a supposed 250+ cal deficit. Surely I am not so far off with logging. So I have to assume my TDEE is off of the number given from the calculators too. . . . Which is what I mean by my body not following the rules.0 -
This might have been said already in the last few pages but here goes.
I can't say anything about the medication you're taking, I don't know your personal trainers or nutritionist.
What I do know is that 99% of the time when someone says they've tried calorie counting and it didn't work, they've been doing it wrong one way or another. By either underestimating how much you've eaten (not measuring it for example, or just not logging some things you've eaten be it on purpose or by forgetting) or overestimating the amount of calories you burn (from exercise or your BMR). In an overwhelming amount of people with your problem, that's the reason.
Why is that? Well, physics mostly. If your calculations are all correct and you consume less calories than you expend, you're going to lose weight because the rest of the needed energy has to come from somewhere, which is your fat storages mostly. And if something has 100 calories you can't get more than those 100 calories out of it. Maybe less if your body has a problem digesting it, but that would aid weight loss, not stop it.
So there you have it. If whatever medication you're taking helps you, good for you. But you could have done it without too.0 -
I tend to not come to forums myself. It is daunting, and generally my posts get ignored, which makes it even worse. I agree with adding friends and groups that are more within your interests and support needs.0
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...I am starting to think you are a troll. I am sorry people did not agree for you to take drugs to lose weight, but people patting you on the back and saying "good job" regardlessly, is not helpful.
I heard cocaine helps a person lose weight as well.0 -
Hi I am sorry that that you are not getting the results you need. Keep trying you will get there. Somehow you will break through your plateau. I am sure of it, Losing weight is difficult in the best of circumstances. If you need encouragement let me know. Keep thinking I can do it, I can do it!!!!! Good luck!!!!!!:happy: :happy: :happy: :bigsmile:0
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if you're doing everything and not losing then two words come to mind: 'secret eater''? (we have a reality series on tv about this in the UK - its enlightening! people forget about what they have eaten etc) i'm sorry and i dont mean to hurt you but its cos there's too many calories being consumed, its all something we had to open our eyes to its why i joined mfp ☺ but so many of us have and been successful with counting our cals so there's no reason why you can't either ☺
I wish you every success.
Ruth
I agree with Ruth. It's the most likely explanation for your lack of weight loss.
Weight loss = eating at a calorie deficit
Weight gain = eating at a calorie surplus
No change = eating at maintenance
If your not losing weight your doing either the last or the 2nd thing on that list. It probably hurts to hear it but you need to be honest with yourself. If you've been logging for 18 months and eating at a deficit then even a 100 calorie deficit would cause weight loss.0 -
if you're doing everything and not losing then two words come to mind: 'secret eater''? (we have a reality series on tv about this in the UK - its enlightening! people forget about what they have eaten etc) i'm sorry and i dont mean to hurt you but its cos there's too many calories being consumed, its all something we had to open our eyes to its why i joined mfp ☺ but so many of us have and been successful with counting our cals so there's no reason why you can't either ☺
I wish you every success.
Ruth
I agree with Ruth. It's the most likely explanation for your lack of weight loss.
Weight loss = eating at a calorie deficit
Weight gain = eating at a calorie surplus
No change = eating at maintenance
If your not losing weight your doing either the last or the 2nd thing on that list. It probably hurts to hear it but you need to be honest with yourself. If you've been logging for 18 months and eating at a deficit then even a 100 calorie deficit would cause weight loss.
You are right. A plateau means eating at maintenance. But here is the tricky part: is it maintenance because you are under-logging your intake, or is it maintenance because your calculator (or MFP, or whatever) is giving you a number for TDEE that is too high?
So many people assume the logger is wrong, but the TDEE estimation could be what is wrong.0 -
Why do you care what people, especially on the 'net, think of you? Who cares? Take what is helpful and ignore the handful of people who use the boards to express their "issues".
There are a lot of very supportive people on here. There are many different weight loss approaches and you have to do what works for you. But you will never convince 100% of MFP folks to agree with you. Some people believe in fast weight loss and don't want to hear that they will likely gain it back. Some people are anorexic and can't take rational advice, some people lift weights and don't "diet"and are successful, some people eat very low calories and think that is the only thing that works, some eat more flexibly and lose, some want to lose for an event, others want to learn new behaviors that will be sustainable over a lifetime. Some think bread is toxic, some think meat is toxic. To each their own.0 -
@ tiger blue you've got a good point and it does take us all a while finding out what our Tdee is, I'm lucky I have a Fitbit and it seems fairly accurate so that has helped me big time ☺
its about finding our individual number to eat at, it took me a while to figure that out lol but currently I'm doing ok on between 1600-1800 cals (my TDEE Is average of 2000).
As for exercise cals if going by mfp it seems good at overestimating them so aim only to eat back half.
We need to try and aim for up to 20% deficit of our TDEE ☺ (less if we've less to lose)0 -
I don't know who you are, but I feel the same as you do. I have been working hard for the past 3 months, doing things "right" and am so frustrated with lack of progress.
Our bodies get very, very well adapted to holding on to extra pounds. I cannot lose weight. I can get fit. I can cut calories! But my body will not lose weight.
Very frustrated, here. Kind of angry that other folks do not seem to be honest that my same situation applies to many very hard working ladies who are doing things RIGHT, yet see no results from their honest efforts.
The body usually plateau after getting used to the same exercise. Have you switched up on your exercise like add more time to cardio and more weights to strength training?0 -
There are bullies and then there are those who genuinely want to help. I've received helpful advice in the forums and I've also received accusations of various things. I suspect it will be this way EVERY time I ask a question in the forums. So now... if I'm in an emotional state of mind that I can't handle the bullies, then I ask the question in my newsfeed. Lessons learned.0
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Hi Coop,
I have just joined this forum in the last few days. I also have been put on medication by my Doctor as I could not shift my weight no matter what I did. I have tried different diets and none would work for me either. Remember Doctors are not going to hand out medication for no good reason. This medication is a helping hand ALONG with a diet, so you are not being lazy as you still have to diet as much as the next person. In fact I would say it is not an easy option using meds as anyone who has been on these meds know WHAT HAPPENS if you don't keep to the low fat diet. The side effects are very unpleasant, even a small slip up has bad consequences. There is no shame in asking for help when it is needed. Do not let other people put you off by negative comments. As you said, this forum is for support.
Good luck with your weight loss.
Hannah0 -
I don't know who you are, but I feel the same as you do. I have been working hard for the past 3 months, doing things "right" and am so frustrated with lack of progress.
Our bodies get very, very well adapted to holding on to extra pounds. I cannot lose weight. I can get fit. I can cut calories! But my body will not lose weight.
Very frustrated, here. Kind of angry that other folks do not seem to be honest that my same situation applies to many very hard working ladies who are doing things RIGHT, yet see no results from their honest efforts.
The body usually plateau after getting used to the same exercise. Have you switched up on your exercise like add more time to cardio and more weights to strength training?
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CoopMay, I hear you.I feel that it is our job to be supportive of one another. Not to judge. Feel free to friend me. I promise to be supportive. That's why I am here. I am disappointed too. I met a lot of people here who were great. Then I found that I should have never posted a thread that was controversial on these boards. I am getting slammed on it, people telling me I should not do it the way I am doing it, that my way is wrong. It stings, and it is my own fault for posting it. But it really hurts.
You may get even more people on this thread telling you what you should do and how you should do it, instead of being supportive.
Just know that there are people here that want to support you, and not judge you.0
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