Came for support....so disappointed
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And to add, you're going to be hungry...that's part of the deal. That's why a lot of people can't succeed in losing weight. Sorry, but if you really don't want to keep regaining weight, you have to learn to deal with less food.
I disagree with the part about being hungry- the only time I'm hungry is when I'm about to eat. Sometimes I *want* more food, because I have a decades-long habit of reaching for food in almost every situation, but that's not the same thing. You don't have to go hungry to lose weight.
Hmm I should've rephrased, sorry. That's true, you shouldn't be hungry, you should be satiated. What I should've said is I've read studies where overweight people think they need to constantly feel full, and that's where the problem comes it. A lot of us need to retrain ourselves to feel satiated and not necessarily full to the brim.0 -
Oh please........I find people on forums can be very critical!
A lot of people on here like to comment on the bad things you do instead of the good..
i.e I was b**tched at cos I said I drank 6 cups of water and a cup of tea. The person disregarded my water drinking and went straight on to nag at me for drinking tea as it dehydrates you.0 -
I love this ^^^ I think this can be applied everywhere, personal life, work life and even weight loss life. Thanks for posting it“We find comfort among those who agree with us -- growth among those who don't.” - Frank A Clark
That is all.
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“We find comfort among those who agree with us -- growth among those who don't.” - Frank A Clark
That is all.
QFT0 -
I could not agree more. Well said0
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You find MFP forum posters to be rude, belittling or unhelpful...yet you post a topic in the forums. Okay. :huh:0
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I find people on forums can be very critical!
A lot of people on here like to comment on the bad things you do instead of the good..
i.e I was b**tched at cos I said I drank 6 cups of water and a cup of tea. The person disregarded my water drinking and went straight on to nag at me for drinking tea as it dehydrates you.
people forget that they're online dealing with people, and respond to the text they see in front of them, i.e. they're interacting with ideas rather than people, hence the bluntness, which is usually not intentional. I wouldn't call that b****ing at you though. Just being blunt (and misinformed too in this case lol because tea doesn't dehydrate you. there's not much caffeine in tea and caffeine is only potentially dehydrating if you drink far more than usual)0 -
I feel for you. I've been plateaued/ gaining for over two years while supposedly eating at a deficit. I have run every calculator on the web, and I have tried a deficit from 250-750 calories. I think this covers a reasonable margin of error. I have tried a "reset" and thus gained 15 lbs. NOTHING is working for me either. I bought a new food scale. I weigh, I measure, I even count my chips and nuts. I work out. Usually six days a week. 4 days of circuit training with a lot of strength and 2 days of cardio, usually running. I used a heart rate monitor. I now use a Bodymedia. I have figured net calories and eaten back exercise calories. I have used the %off TDEE method. I tried straight lifting for awhile. I am human, so I'm sure that my logging of both food and exercise is not 100% accurate, but I have tried various deficits! and I should at least be seeing a small loss! not as gain! Currently I am just including a margin of error in my deficit/goal.
Nothing works. NOTHING. (And it used to work. Four years ago I lost nearly 45 lbs using MFP reccomendations. I am still maintaining a healthy weight, but I am unhappy with regaining 15 lbs and not being able to lose it.)
So I certainly understand your frustration. And people on the boards are not kind about this. (Please don't tell me I eat too little--the calculators say I should maintain at 1490 cals for sedentary, so anyone with half a brain can do the math for creating a deficit. Small, low body weight people simply don't burn many calories, even when you add in more exercise ise cals--say 150-200 more a day.)
I personally would not want to try a stimulant, especially since heart issues are all over my family tree, but I would think this has more to do with your doctors recommendations for YOU and no one else. My biggest question would be, and I think you pointed this out--will the metabolism boost from the meds remain when you stop the meds. Very valid question.
I would echo the good advice of several--try to ignore the idiots on the boards who have not been taught basic social skills, sift comments carefully, and add friends carefully who will help you. Add me if you like. I don't have the answers but I am searching and I love hearing new ideas that are presented I a courteous manner.
how did you lose 45 pounds if calorie deficit does not work for you???
Read more carefully. I said that the MFP method (which is eating at deficit) is how I lost the 45 lbs. but suddenly, about a year into maintenance, the rules for my body evidently changed. I did not change anything, but started to gain while eating at maintenance. Then I tried going back to MFP method. No loss. Tried "eat more to weigh less" and other similar ideas, gained 15 lbs, and I'm still searching. (Btw I never stopped logging)
Technically eating at a deficit will still work for me. The problem is no calculator or device seems to give me a reliable TDEE for MY BODY. And there is no reasonable explanation for why. So if I can find the deficit number. . .
The problem seems to ultimately be that my deficit number will be smaller than anyone seems to think is healthy. For instance, I have been eating about 1400-1450 cals a day for about 8 weeks, while exercising about 35 minutes a day, vigorously ( run 10 min miles or do boot camp style circuit training mixed with strength training). So next I drop down to 1300-1350 a day while exercising. That'll get plenty of people on here worked up.
The point I am trying to make is just that there are a small percentage of us whose bodies don't play by exactly the same rules. I know this because I know how it has been when the "rules" changed! Maybe it's menopause, maybe thermogenesis adaptation , who knows. But for some of us it is real. When you are struggling with this over the long haul it can make you overly sensitive to all the unkind feedback. You can get a bit defensive,as the OP may be. I am just posting to let her know I understand, and hopefully to help others see another point of view. I guess I've always advocated for the underdog. . .0 -
Technically eating at a deficit will still work for me. The problem is no calculator or device seems to give me a reliable TDEE for MY BODY. And there is no reasonable explanation for why. So if I can find the deficit number. . .
The problem seems to ultimately be that my deficit number will be smaller than anyone seems to think is healthy. For instance, I have been eating about 1400-1450 cals a day for about 8 weeks, while exercising about 35 minutes a day, vigorously ( run 10 min miles or do boot camp style circuit training mixed with strength training). So next I drop down to 1300-1350 a day while exercising. That'll get plenty of people on here worked up.
The point I am trying to make is just that there are a small percentage of us whose bodies don't play by exactly the same rules. I know this because I know how it has been when the "rules" changed! Maybe it's menopause, maybe thermogenesis adaptation , who knows. But for some of us it is real. When you are struggling with this over the long haul it can make you overly sensitive to all the unkind feedback. You can get a bit defensive,as the OP may be. I am just posting to let her know I understand, and hopefully to help others see another point of view. I guess I've always advocated for the underdog. . .
Did you already post your stats? You've got me curious. Is your profile accurate when you say your BMI is in the low normal?
If so, your body sounds like it is playing by the same rules as everyone else's. The smaller you get, the less you have to eat. I know people hate 1200 calories here, but 35 minutes of exercise a day is not overdoing it, and 1400 calories may be just fine. It's all dependent on your numbers.0 -
I'm curious if you had any blood work done to test for any underlying issues, such as insulin resistance, or a thyroid problem? Obviously this isn't an excuse or anything to blame it on, but it can make it difficult to lose weight -- I've been dealing with the frustrations of both of those conditions for years now.
It would be worth it to ask your doctor, if you haven't already. Maybe take a look at the symptoms (extreme fatigue, unusual weight gain, trouble losing weight, hunger, etc.) and see if any of them apply to you. Being on the right dosage of thyroid replacement drugs can help you as well.
I'm not really "in the know" about Phentermine so I won't comment on that, but I would definitely be hesitant to try a "weight loss drug" that isn't treating a condition like hypothyroidism, insulin resistance, etc. That's just me -- like a PP stated, there is all kinds of family history that makes me want to avoid any stimulants.
I still have about 150 lbs to lose, and finally after the birth of my son I am feeling like I have the motivation I need to keep going. I gave up soda completely and haven't had one in 19 days now, so that was my first big hurdle. One thing at a time.
Feel free to add me as a friend. No matter how much weight people have to lose, we all go through the same difficulties and we all will benefit from supportive people.
Good luck to you in your journey, whichever direction it takes, and pay no mind to any of the trolls and rude people. You're doing this for YOU, not for anyone else.0 -
I don't know who you are, but I feel the same as you do. I have been working hard for the past 3 months, doing things "right" and am so frustrated with lack of progress.
Our bodies get very, very well adapted to holding on to extra pounds. I cannot lose weight. I can get fit. I can cut calories! But my body will not lose weight.
Very frustrated, here. Kind of angry that other folks do not seem to be honest that my same situation applies to many very hard working ladies who are doing things RIGHT, yet see no results from their honest efforts.0 -
Blunt and honest is fantastic. I have looked at many parts of this forum and there is a very clear difference between blunt and honest and very rude and mean spirited.
And I don't want to be coddled myself, or for anyone to agree with everything I say. I belong to another forum where you're encouraged (in the user agreement) to call someone out on their crap. It is also a support forum.
And people there can become very rude, OR (the thing I seem to come across here the most) wait until one person posts the first mocking/rude reply and then HELLO, PITCHFORKS!
I've also been the person that was rude to other people. I mean RUDE, not blunt. There was a problem with the rude part.
People are rude because they are insecure. If they feel like they have more information than you, then they feel "better" than you. Or they can while they momentarily tear you a new one. Sadly, I've done it. I stopped because 1. It was upsetting people and 2. I didn't like being that person.
So, equipped with that knowledge and having gotten over that portion of my life, I laugh at/ feel sorry for the people who are mean because they *think* they are superior. I'm not intimidated by post count on an internet forum, that literally means nothing, especially if 50% of it is being in the Cool, Super Insecure Kids group that goes around being rude to other, newer posters.
They don't have to be mean. It just looks awesome to their internet friends. Which is hilarious.
So, take what you can, leave the a-holes. They are actually very sad people. And I literally mean ignore them. Don't respond, nothing. They are a little blip. That's all.
I don't understand posts like this. you complain about people being rude
then you post to say that the people you perceive as being rude are all (add very rude assumptions and underhand insults based on amateur psychology here, about people you've never met and know nothing about here)
....interesting.
If someone's being rude then by all means call them out for it, but you don't need to say a whole bunch of mean things about them in the process.
You're right. I thought it wasn't rude, but I could have left some of that stuff out. I could see how it could be seen as rude.
I'm not calling the people out because it doesn't do anything. I found that people just want to be called out on it. I just don't want to feed into that. I could do it. I have specific people in mind here.
It would have been more rude, honestly, if I'd called out specific people, IMO. I would not name people by name. Then it's what? Time for people to attack that person or me? Either way, it's giving both sides something to beat into the ground for the millionth time. I don't want to be a part of drama so I'll leave the names out.
Sorry if I did offend anyone with that. I was really just talking about the rude/mocking people. Not the blunt people. As I said, there's a difference. I just don't see why it is that people justify being rude with "Oh well, we've seen this question a million times from noobs and we're sick of it!" Okay, well roll your eyes and move on to the next post? I don't know. Sometimes it's sad.
fair enough @ not wanting to call out individuals....
re people justifying it that way... it is frustrating and people can get short tempered... thing is with some things like VLCDs and diet pills, I think people feel obliged to say *something* because they care enough about the person to not want them to damage their health with stuff like this... I worked for a short time for a customer service helpline for a chain store, this point was mentioned in training, i.e. that you'll have days when it seems like everyone calls to ask the same question, and you have to treat each one the same way you do with the first person who asks that question, because it's natural to feel frustrated with saying the same thing over and over, and to forget that it's not the same *person* you're responding to over and over, the result is that you get progressively more short-tempered with each person over time, which leads to poor customer service (or even being rude to a customer which is way worse!) - so anyway, I think that is a legit explanation for rudeness, even if the rudeness itself isn't desirable. Not everyone's had customer service training and some people just don't have the right personality for customer service (i.e. lack of patience!).
I agree there are a few genuinely rude people on here, and the best response to them is just ignore them.0 -
Most people here aren't trying to be mean, they're just blunt and honest, which they've found is the only way they can get through to most of the people asking for advice or help. Either grow a thicker skin and appreciate both the good and bad feedback, or turn it all away. No need to feel discouraged.
QFT! We're not going to coddle you and say everything is sunshine and rainbows. A lot of people around here have heard stuff like this plenty of times on the boards. Some people don't want to sugar-coat things and beat around the bush, ESPECIALLY if you're doing something that can damage your body.
Besides, this is the internet. Put on your big girl pants and buckle up! :drinker:0 -
I need it explained to me like I am 5, so someone help a girl out.
If a person is working out and eating a deficit and they are not losing weight, how does phentermine help with weight loss?
To the OP. People should not be calling you names but please do not focus on all the mean stuff that is being said. To only do that will give you a "thinking problem". To have an unheatlhy mind, even in a healthy body, will destroy health.
I have had the experience that if I am feeling rather bad about myself, that I can take things on an internet forum rather personal then I get mad. I find that if I X out of the tab in the corner and take a walk, my life is enriched 10times more than if I was getting support from people on a message board.0 -
I'm new here but have been working to lose for 21 months on my own before joining here this past week mostly to track my calories easier than having to write it all down by hand each day. I'm concerned though about you not having lost *anything* despite all your hard work! How frustrating that must be for you! I truly am sorry to hear that you are going through that but what has your doctor said about it? I'm curious if he's tested your thyroid function, triglycerides and other fasting lipids.
Recently did all those tests myself with my doctor and found out even though I've lost 87 pounds I have high cholesterol and high triglycerides! So I had to change up my diet with more fiber than I was getting.
I also have to be careful because I'm on coumadin because I have thrombophillia (blood clotting disorder). I can't just eat any veggies or foods because they have too much Vitamin K which causes clotting. So no lettuce, no spinach, no broccoli etc. Very hard to diet when you can't eat those things! I have a woman at work that is constantly commenting on my meals at lunch. She eats a salad every day with all sorts of greens and I just can't have that. And she can't seem to get it that I can't. She'll make comments about how I should add some lettuce to my salad which usually is just tomato, cucumber, bell pepper, onion, feta cheese, black olives and a dash of lemon juice, Italian seasoning and a tsp. of olive oil. You'd think I was committing a crime because my salad is sans lettuce. So I do understand somewhat where you are coming from.
I hope that you continue to keep trying despite all the frustration! Sends you some good positive vibes, sounds like you need them!0 -
Read more carefully. I said that the MFP method (which is eating at deficit) is how I lost the 45 lbs. but suddenly, about a year into maintenance, the rules for my body evidently changed. I did not change anything, but started to gain while eating at maintenance. Then I tried going back to MFP method. No loss. Tried "eat more to weigh less" and other similar ideas, gained 15 lbs, and I'm still searching. (Btw I never stopped logging)
Technically eating at a deficit will still work for me. The problem is no calculator or device seems to give me a reliable TDEE for MY BODY. And there is no reasonable explanation for why. So if I can find the deficit number. . .
The problem seems to ultimately be that my deficit number will be smaller than anyone seems to think is healthy. For instance, I have been eating about 1400-1450 cals a day for about 8 weeks, while exercising about 35 minutes a day, vigorously ( run 10 min miles or do boot camp style circuit training mixed with strength training). So next I drop down to 1300-1350 a day while exercising. That'll get plenty of people on here worked up.
The point I am trying to make is just that there are a small percentage of us whose bodies don't play by exactly the same rules. I know this because I know how it has been when the "rules" changed! Maybe it's menopause, maybe thermogenesis adaptation , who knows. But for some of us it is real. When you are struggling with this over the long haul it can make you overly sensitive to all the unkind feedback. You can get a bit defensive,as the OP may be. I am just posting to let her know I understand, and hopefully to help others see another point of view. I guess I've always advocated for the underdog. . .
1. have you had your thyroid checked? have you been tested for other conditions like PCOS that can affect the metabolism? If you really are burning that much fewer calories than the calorie calculators predict and you're being realistic about your activity factor, then this could be an indication of
2. if 1. is what's happening, then drugs like phentermine will make the problem worse, not better. e.g. if you have an underactive thyroid, you need thyroid medication to get your metabolism back to where it should be, then you will be able to lose weight on a more reasonable amount of food.
3. if adaptive thermogenesis is the issue, phentermine and low calorie diets will make it worse, not better. You need to eat a lot more and do strength training to rebuild your muscles in that situation... but if you never did any VLCDs it's probably not this
4. are you weighing and measuring everything accurately? YOu may be eating more than you think. You may have been in deficit in spite of overestimating your portions initially, hence the 45lb weight loss followed by a plateau. Weigh your food, cups are not that accurate.
Also, re weight gain at maintenance calories.... how long did you wait before deciding that you're gaining weight? Because after eating at a calorie deficit then returning to maintenance, you can expect to gain as much as 5lb in glycogen and water weight only. It's common for people when switching to maintenance calories to see this gain and freak out, thinking that they're in a calorie surplus, then they're scared they "wrecked" their metabolism. If you're sure that this is not what's going on, and you really are gaining *fat* when you're eating at maintenance,
OR if you suddenly started gaining weight after successfully maintaining.... what changed? Did your activity levels change (e.g. change of a job, not walking as much? - this can lower your TDEE and cause you to start gaining weight on the same number of calories as you previously maintained on.
If you're 100% certain that you measured all your food accurately, and calculated your TDEE correctly with the a reliable calorie calculator, and you were realistic about your activity factor, and your real world results suggest you're burning way fewer calories than predicted (100-200 calories different could be explained by normal biological variation so just subtract this amount from your calorie goal and go from there) - really big differences can be indicative of problems such as underactive thyroid which need to be treated with the right kind of medication. If you're not 100% certain you did all that, then that's what you have to do for a few weeks to see if your weight loss starts again. I know it seems really anal weighing everything you eat, but sometimes that's what you've got to do and plenty of people on this site needed to do that before they succeeded.0 -
I have had the experience that if I am feeling rather bad about myself, that I can take things on an internet forum rather personal then I get mad. I find that if I X out of the tab in the corner and take a walk, my life is enriched 10times more than if I was getting support from people on a message board.
^^^ Very wise advice. I'm gonna click that X after I hit "Post Reply" and go for a walk. :flowerforyou:0 -
OP the only one that called you lazy in the other thread was you. Sounds more like you feel guilty for taking it and are putting that label on yourself, because no one else said that at all.
Now you've said you got diet information from trainers and a doctor? How about seeing a dietitians? Most doctors know very little about nutrition, and trainers.. not worth going into that.
You made a choice if you feel its the right choice for you, good luck with it. But, stop playing a victim that you got picked on, when you weren't, people just have a differing opinion than yours.0 -
I'm so sorry for your experience here. I joined a while back but haven't used any of the tools. I lose weight very, very slowly, no matter how diligent I am and how much I exercise, but I do, eventually lose some. I know there are people who legitimately cannot lose weight, even while following an exercise & diet plan faithfully. I admire you for hanging in there and exploring other avenues. I would love to add you as a friend. You have inspired me to begin using the tools here & stop procrastinating. :blushing:0
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Technically eating at a deficit will still work for me. The problem is no calculator or device seems to give me a reliable TDEE for MY BODY. And there is no reasonable explanation for why. So if I can find the deficit number. . .
The problem seems to ultimately be that my deficit number will be smaller than anyone seems to think is healthy. For instance, I have been eating about 1400-1450 cals a day for about 8 weeks, while exercising about 35 minutes a day, vigorously ( run 10 min miles or do boot camp style circuit training mixed with strength training). So next I drop down to 1300-1350 a day while exercising. That'll get plenty of people on here worked up.
The point I am trying to make is just that there are a small percentage of us whose bodies don't play by exactly the same rules. I know this because I know how it has been when the "rules" changed! Maybe it's menopause, maybe thermogenesis adaptation , who knows. But for some of us it is real. When you are struggling with this over the long haul it can make you overly sensitive to all the unkind feedback. You can get a bit defensive,as the OP may be. I am just posting to let her know I understand, and hopefully to help others see another point of view. I guess I've always advocated for the underdog. . .
Did you already post your stats? You've got me curious. Is your profile accurate when you say your BMI is in the low normal?
If so, your body sounds like it is playing by the same rules as everyone else's. The smaller you get, the less you have to eat. I know people hate 1200 calories here, but 35 minutes of exercise a day is not overdoing it, and 1400 calories may be just fine. It's all dependent on your numbers.
Oh wow! It has been probably 3 years since I updated my profile. BMI is no longer low healthy range
Last time I checked it was in the middle or perhaps upper middle. I should check on this! In fact, with the new BMI calculations that are corrected for heights below and above average, I believe it was definitely high normal. Need to look that up and update.
And thanks for the validation of my numbers! Actually they are only a little below calculator recommendations. But You may be the first random poster who has actually said "smaller people need to eat less and your numbers are reasonable". Rather than ranting on how I am probably putting myself into starvation mode and am stupid to boot!
I agree that my body is still somewhat within rules, but I tend to start these kinds of conversations defending myself against all the people who are likely to point out my eminent demise by starvation!
Which, I might add, reinforces the point of this entire thread and the OP!0
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