Why does everyone hate me? The forum Survival Guide.

ndj1979

Oooooooo.
Do the Elder MFPers have their own guild hall?

get to 2000 posts and you may find out...

Kadoober

Oooooooo.
Do the Elder MFPers have their own guild hall?

get to 2000 posts and you may find out...

Noting in my goal book, thank you kindly.

nikkihk

The internet culture emerges from the underlying structure and human nature. Unless you change one or both of those things it emerges from, the internet culture is not going to change. So this leaves several options:

1- Avoid parts of the internet where you are subjected to the internet culture.

2- Learn the way the internet culture works and figure out how to mesh it with your personality.

3- Complain about the internet culture and or scold everyone you come across who behaves in a way you don't agree with. Which will accomplish nothing, apart from entertainment for those who find amusement in your impotent rage.

It's ironic when you consider the fact that your scolding is directed at the people who are most immune to it, and makes it that much more likely to generate the opposite of the response you were hoping for.

Beautifully stated. And Here Here to #2...

Beet_Girl

My advice would be for people to visit a Registered Dietitian. The information they give you will typically be a lot more reliable and helpful than what you will get on here.

Also they are trained in something called "rapport". People on the internet can be brisk and don't mince their words. However, people in the real world understand that to get their point across, they have to be respectful and kind. Offending people isn't going to help change their behavior.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

mommyvo23

bump

aliencheesecake

Your totally welcome guys... just getting tired of woe is me threads from the person with 5 posts. Get to know a place before you cry wolf.

That is all. =D

-.-

Booksandbeaches

Great post. It should be pinned/stickied.

RunnerStephe

I swear I wasn't crying.

aliencheesecake

I do agree with you. Especially where the internet in general is concerned - MFP is tame in comparison.

However :happy:

Maybe I am just on my own here - hope not! But, I have probably learned my most valuables lesson in life, not just diet stuff, from being wrong.
Sometimes, being right is just too easy for it to be valued.

If telling people what is right is all that was needed life would be easy indeed...and boring. And raising my own children would become a breeze! And MFP would no longer be needed!

I am actually not that ok with people being shouted down on here. Mostly because I have faith in people and think that they will eventually find their way. They will eventually realise that what they are doing is not working. That's not to say they shouldn't be pointed in the right direction - even bluntly told.

But, one cover-all post for 'Don't ask coz you're doing it wrong' or being shouted down for doing something that's not prescribed by the MFP forum posters isn't going to help. It's just going to make them stop posting, think that MFP isn't the right place for them and shut them down.

Some people on here have giving advice down in a really good way. They'll say - have a look at this, have you considered that etc give them links and wish them well, others get their knickers in a twist if they see something 'not right'.

As I said, I agree with you, your post says much truth and the internet can be harsh. But, as I said above, one cover-all post isn't gonna do it and people need to learn in their own ways - sometimes that will be from being wrong.

I agree with this...and while I agree with the point the OP is making, the post is pretty snarky and condescending. I would not be ok with it being stickied or making every noobie read it. I know I'm pretty new to these forums so my opinion might not matter as much as the veterans of the site, but that's not the tone I would want to set for new people. If this was the first thing I read when joining I probably would have found another site because I would be too afraid to make another post because they've "seen it all before". I'd be all for a snark free version being made stickied. :flowerforyou:

original post was fine ...

maybe you need to re-read it ...

We all need a little snark/humor in our lives...so lighten up ...

Original post was condescending. Maybe YOU need to re-read it. (See, isn't it fun when people state opinion as fact?) I also find it amusing that "correcting grammar" is against the guidelines, but posting a passive aggressive rant is totally cool. Isn't subjectivity fun? Condescension may be subjective...Yet, there's nothing subjective about grammar.

QueenBishOTUniverse

Oooooooo.
Do the Elder MFPers have their own guild hall?

get to 2000 posts and you may find out...

I thought it was called the Wolfpack and had a butt or ab pic requirement, there you go making me confused again!




Suddenly my posterior is developing a strange sensation.

DoctorMcCoy10

This just made my afternoon : )

PinUp2014

Love it

ndj1979

I do agree with you. Especially where the internet in general is concerned - MFP is tame in comparison.

However :happy:

Maybe I am just on my own here - hope not! But, I have probably learned my most valuables lesson in life, not just diet stuff, from being wrong.
Sometimes, being right is just too easy for it to be valued.

If telling people what is right is all that was needed life would be easy indeed...and boring. And raising my own children would become a breeze! And MFP would no longer be needed!

I am actually not that ok with people being shouted down on here. Mostly because I have faith in people and think that they will eventually find their way. They will eventually realise that what they are doing is not working. That's not to say they shouldn't be pointed in the right direction - even bluntly told.

But, one cover-all post for 'Don't ask coz you're doing it wrong' or being shouted down for doing something that's not prescribed by the MFP forum posters isn't going to help. It's just going to make them stop posting, think that MFP isn't the right place for them and shut them down.

Some people on here have giving advice down in a really good way. They'll say - have a look at this, have you considered that etc give them links and wish them well, others get their knickers in a twist if they see something 'not right'.

As I said, I agree with you, your post says much truth and the internet can be harsh. But, as I said above, one cover-all post isn't gonna do it and people need to learn in their own ways - sometimes that will be from being wrong.

I agree with this...and while I agree with the point the OP is making, the post is pretty snarky and condescending. I would not be ok with it being stickied or making every noobie read it. I know I'm pretty new to these forums so my opinion might not matter as much as the veterans of the site, but that's not the tone I would want to set for new people. If this was the first thing I read when joining I probably would have found another site because I would be too afraid to make another post because they've "seen it all before". I'd be all for a snark free version being made stickied. :flowerforyou:

original post was fine ...

maybe you need to re-read it ...

We all need a little snark/humor in our lives...so lighten up ...

Original post was condescending. Maybe YOU need to re-read it. (See, isn't it fun when people state opinion as fact?) I also find it amusing that "correcting grammar" is against the guidelines, but posting a passive aggressive rant is totally cool. Isn't subjectivity fun? Condescension may be subjective...Yet, there's nothing subjective about grammar.

I think you need to lighten up and get a grip ....

sloth3toes

Your arguments are invalid.

Just needed something to bump with. :smokin:

amy8400

Good post, OP. Don't have time to read the 12 other pages of posts so I'm just sayin' thanks and well done!

Therealobi1

You said:

Not to be over critical but ... etc etc.. some other stuff... then ended with -

P.S. OP your reaction to criticism is classic - maybe you should reread your thread. lol

Umm.. she wasn't criticizing me when she posted that. Good try though. I think you need a cookie too .. HERE!!



Now go eat chocolate goodness and be merry snugglepants. XO

ooh how come he got a better looking cookie than me. i want this one instead.

ewhsweets

VERY GOOD!

lacurandera1

TL;DR.

I suspect I support the sentiment, though.

flamesdes1re

Agreed times 1,000! I started a new MFP account, so my actual weight loss of 60 lbs doesn't show. But yes! I didn't get there by shunning advice I didn't like. I didn't get there by fad diets ( although I can't say I've never fallen into that trap... But I learned quickly the ultimate FAIL that they are...). I did it by listening, learning and making adjustments to what worked best. Guess what I found? The advice I originally didn't like hearing was almost always right.

Eat the right foods, get off my butt and take responsibility for my own actions or inactions.

I'm taking a Conditioning class at my college right now, and I can't tell you how often my classmates complain and fight the prof about how to effectively workout. Um, hi, he's been trained for this. He trains JUST like this. He only wants to teach you how to do it properly, effectively, and avoid injury. If you're not willing to at least hear what he has to say, then maybe you should have signed up for bowling or golf.

Be realistic. This is a public space filled with newbies, experts and those of us in between. If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. If something promises to make you drop all your body fat in 28 days like those tricky little chick peas... Look forward to gaining it all and then some back once you go back to a normal diet. Don't post something without the acknowledgement that someone might have another opinion, and don't take offense when they do. Take CONSIDERATION.

I look at this forum as a means of education. If something sounds good, do research as academically as possible. Avoid diet specific websites until you've checked out the doctor or nutritionist that formed it. Then check out the reviews and comments. For example, the Atkins diet in men has shown more heart problems, heart attacks and cardiac arrest than the public knows about. Going vegan doesn't mean you can skimp on protein.

Everyone joined this thing for the same reason. To get healthier, or to commune with those trying to.

I'm sorry if that sounded like a rant... Lol I'm just reading and reading all these posts like those mentioned. One was "what happens if I'm addicted to junk food?" One of the responses (among many): self control and activity can go a long way. Albeit a harsh response, it's true. The original poster replied with: no it can't. What I learned from this one? Some posts are better left alone. Clearly we have a person who has not fully recognized that weight loss is not a magical occurrence. Thinking about going to the gym burns between 0 and 0 calories. Eating all day burns between 0 and 0 calories.

We also need to understand that weight loss is a journey. It takes time, and education. I didn't wake up one day and fully embrace everything I needed to in order to lose the weight I've lost. It took me time. I wanted a quick fix. I wanted magic. I wanted God to come down from the heavens and fix me, because in my mind I hadn't done anything wrong with my body. Obviously I had, or I wouldn't be wanting to lose, right? While I believe we should approach as many posts as we can with patience and compassion, it can be incredibly difficult. As we are all human, we all need to understand that each of us shares the same fundamental emotions, and frustration is one of them.


Anyway, thank you for writing this post!

Soulshine66

I get it too My main reason for joining, if I have one more "new friend" request to sell me a shake to make me crap myself skinny-I may Puke!!! Now what do those ppl think they're going to do when "real food" comes back into their lives? And if you "eliminate" 30 lbs in 3 weeks-Does that mean you were full of **** the whole time? :explode: go ahead my friend because to readjust your lifestyle takes time and hard work-nothing less, nothing easier, nothing magic. :happy:

GBrady43068

Plus "its" and "it's" always messes me up since the possessive doesn't use an apostrophe. Always get that one confused.

I just learned this recently, I've been doing it wrong for YEARS! But how confusing is that rule??

Actually if you think about it, it makes perfect sense that "it's" is NOT the possessive. It's a contraction for "It is"...so if ever in doubt about which one to use, substitute "It is" for where you intend to place the it's/its and if it makes no sense, you have the wrong one. :flowerforyou:

GBrady43068

{snip}
And if you "eliminate" 30 lbs in 3 weeks-Does that mean you were full of **** the whole time?
{snip}

Bwahahahahahaha! Made my day :bigsmile:

Amestris

This thread is very entertaining *grabs some popcorn*

onandoff

So, so true.
On another note... I guess I should give up on chickpeas already. Oh, well...

nikkihk

Original post was condescending. Maybe YOU need to re-read it. (See, isn't it fun when people state opinion as fact?) I also find it amusing that "correcting grammar" is against the guidelines, but posting a passive aggressive rant is totally cool. Isn't subjectivity fun? Condescension may be subjective...Yet, there's nothing subjective about grammar.

Semi mis-anthropic blogger... maybe the dictionary lies to me but, doesn't that mean sarcastic, negative, mocking etc. Just found that amusing.

To address this for you, there was nothing passive aggressive about what I said. In fact it was purely aggressive and I will own that 100%. What it was NOT however is a rant, and I'm sorry if making it fun to read equaled condescending in your world (which again includes the title mis-anthropic blogger..? *blink*) Had I directed it at one individual, which it clearly was not, I could see proposing that ! engaged in intended malice toward said party. But not only is it greatly generalized it clearly fits the title it was given, and despite my use of the humor you seem to disagree with? The collection of "Thank You's" from newer members in my inbox alone outweigh the four people who've verbalized any issue.

Oh and as to the grammar thing...

nikkihk

ooh how come he got a better looking cookie than me. i want this one instead.

So sorry! Here!!!:

nikkihk

I think you need to lighten up and get a grip ....

You can say that again.. sheesh. Some people need to avoid off key humor like the plague, the wrong powder puff could set off an unstoppable comical murder spree of epic proportions.

prattiger65

Just to make sure I am keeping score correctly......one case of open butthurt, one case of closet butthurt, one case of butthurt denial and now one diagnosis of passive-aggressive by internet psychologist? amiright?

40DayFit

The atmosphere of self-congratulation and mutual moisture is so dense in here, I doubt any real "grip" can be had at all.

Gripe, though...