Sexual Harassment at the Gym..
Replies
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Ummm, ipod? Headphones? Problem solved. Especially since you only have a month left.0
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Don't take this the wrong way, but when I'm at the gym, I'm too busy blasting my music in my ears and working out to pay attention to anyone's conversation. Get in, do your workout and get out. If it really bothers you, and you choose not to directly confront them, come int o workout at a different time when the guys aren't there. Guys talk bull**** all the time at the gym with their friends to blow off steam. Our society is so damn sensitive about everything these days. Or just join planet fitness and sound the lunk alarm.0
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I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
Oh My God, Professor Farnsworth! hahahahaha0 -
I don't know that it matters if it meets the definition of harassment. You're not an employee.
If you were in a restaurant and heard a server talking about porking every woman in sight, what would you do?
I'd complain to the manager and find a different place to eat. The only thing that's complicating this for you is the convenience and affordability of the gym. Well, how much, in terms of your own money and time, does that offensive conversation bother you?
I'd also make it clear to the manager why they're losing your business. You don't have be huffy or anything; just be matter-of-fact about it.0 -
'"For example, it is illegal to harass a woman by making offensive comments about women in general."
It could be argued...
but it wasn't directed at her and she just happened to overhear something she disapproved of, so it's hard to name as harassment.
No, it's not. If someone finds something offensive even if it's NOT directed at them they can certainly complain. They can state that they felt uncomfortable and threatened by the conversation which would lead to a 'talking to' or an investigation. Either way HR would be involved.
finding something offensive /=/ sexual harassment.
This thread is sexually harassing me . . .
You were asking for it with that picture of you and your pecs. Now come on honey, shake that money maker....0 -
People are offensive. You don't have the right not to be offended, you have the ABILITY to choose not to be offended, write them off as ignorant d-bags, and move on with your day.0
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"Guys!! Are you for real?! I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt here and assume that you think either i can't hear you or that i can but don't care. Allow me please to disabuse you of any incorrect notions: you are talking so loudly that you're making your conversation my business--and it's inappropriate and entirely offensive business that i don't want. It is totally not okay to broadcast that kind of material for general consumption, and i'm not afraid to be the one who points it out. Please keep that kind of conversation to yourself."
and then i'm the b****. :shrug: so be it.
another example of me going around telling people to shut up: i tell people close to me sometimes (not often, fortunately) to keep their b****ing to themselves. i won't let anyone stream invective past me at someone else--i don't want to hear it.0 -
'"For example, it is illegal to harass a woman by making offensive comments about women in general."
It could be argued...
but it wasn't directed at her and she just happened to overhear something she disapproved of, so it's hard to name as harassment.
No, it's not. If someone finds something offensive even if it's NOT directed at them they can certainly complain. They can state that they felt uncomfortable and threatened by the conversation which would lead to a 'talking to' or an investigation. Either way HR would be involved.
finding something offensive /=/ sexual harassment.
This thread is sexually harassing me . . .
You were asking for it with that picture of you and your pecs. Now come on honey, shake that money maker....
Thank you, MFP, always blaming the victim . . .0 -
If this was a one time thing...well then it's over. The time to do something about it has passed. If it continues, I would take an action as the incident is happening, whichever action you choose. It's harder to correct an issue after the fact.0
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Well this is not a sexual harassment suit or complaint. I see this as a person that thinks differently than others or more sensitive. In the gym there are people around that just workout and use it as a opportunity to do better. IF this sort of conversation upsets you then make the best and use the emotions to work harder toward your goals either to lose weight or tone your body. The negativity thinking will always bring you down and make you work less in the gym, work and life. People have differentiating in opinion and will always be that way, it is just a way of life. Opportunity is always there with others being negative or doing it later. Build up and drive on, build your will and your will will build you. Having a healthy mind means many things depending on how you use it and think. That is the reason you have two sides male and female both are the same and its life. There are women that are as bad as men.
If it really bothers you that much and you can not get around the voices in your head then step up and say something tell them to take that somewhere else where you can workout in peace. Simple and short they will get the hit.0 -
you're 24. that's the age of an adult. so act like an adult and tell them you don't appreciate that sort of language. that's not being confrontational. if you cleared your throat loudly and then pointed to your ear when they looked at you the problem would have been solved. you're grown now, and when grown people need a situation to change they ask for change, then demand change, and then move on if they still aren't satisfied. but first it starts with the asking.
Real talk0 -
How do I get through my last month? ALSO his fiancé is my trainer. I'm seriously considering canceling my appointment Wednesday.. but I also want to get as much from her as I can before I leave the gym. Help?
Well shoot, that makes it simple. Just tell his fiance that you're not renewing your membership b/c of the vulgar and offensive conversation your overheard. Then let her teach him a lesson.0 -
I think weird should be viewed as a compliment rather than an insult. Being normal is boring....0
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I was using the bench press next to 2 bros who were talking about some lady they both knew, and one of them literally starting dry humping the air while he was describing what he did to her.
People will be people. A lot of people don't have any manners. Switch gyms or live with it. I'm not trying to be rude, but offense is taken, not given. You are in control of yourself and your feelings and letting yourself feel offended by someone else's convo doesn't benefit you in any way.0 -
I agree. But I don't think that was the intention, based on context and follow-up explanation.I think weird should be viewed as a compliment rather than an insult. Being normal is boring....0 -
I hear things I disapprove of all day long.
I just put my head phones back in and focus on my goals.
Exactly THIS^^0 -
That is not sexual harassment. At all. Put on some headphones and big girl panties.0
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'"For example, it is illegal to harass a woman by making offensive comments about women in general."
It could be argued...
but it wasn't directed at her and she just happened to overhear something she disapproved of, so it's hard to name as harassment.
No, it's not. If someone finds something offensive even if it's NOT directed at them they can certainly complain. They can state that they felt uncomfortable and threatened by the conversation which would lead to a 'talking to' or an investigation. Either way HR would be involved.
finding something offensive /=/ sexual harassment.
This thread is sexually harassing me . . .
You were asking for it with that picture of you and your pecs. Now come on honey, shake that money maker....
Thank you, MFP, always blaming the victim . . .
wink wink, wiggle wiggle, kissing noises, va va voom, vodeo doh doh.....
lord, I couldn't harrass someone if my life depended on it. I'd be laughed out of the room.0 -
I was using the bench press next to 2 bros who were talking about some lady they both knew, and one of them literally starting dry humping the air while he was describing what he did to her.
People will be people. A lot of people don't have any manners. Switch gyms or live with it. I'm not trying to be rude, but offense is taken, not given. You are in control of yourself and your feelings and letting yourself feel offended by someone else's convo doesn't benefit you in any way.
oh so that was YOU giving me the strong side eye for that.... stop following me around when I lift- it's rude. I feel harrassed- if I want to hump the air while I lift- than I will damnit.0 -
Well this is not a sexual harassment suit or complaint. I see this as a person that thinks differently than others or more sensitive. In the gym there are people around that just workout and use it as a opportunity to do better. IF this sort of conversation upsets you then make the best and use the emotions to work harder toward your goals either to lose weight or tone your body. The negativity thinking will always bring you down and make you work less in the gym, work and life. People have differentiating in opinion and will always be that way, it is just a way of life. Opportunity is always there with others being negative or doing it later. Build up and drive on, build your will and your will will build you. Having a healthy mind means many things depending on how you use it and think. That is the reason you have two sides male and female both are the same and its life. There are women that are as bad as men.
If it really bothers you that much and you can not get around the voices in your head then step up and say something tell them to take that somewhere else where you can workout in peace. Simple and short they will get the hit.
whenever I'm differentiating in my opinions i try to be polite about it, or else at least quiet. that is all.0 -
If this happened in the workplace it might be considered harrassment, but those policies don't necessarily extend outside the workplace. Is there a policy manual for the gym? If there is it may be addressed in their manual. You say the owner's fiance is your trainer? Why cancel the appointment? You could inadvertently bring it up in the conversation without naming anyone and just say that some of the guys were a little loud with their comments and it was embarrassing to you. She would probably tell him, he probably didn't realize that their "conversation" had gone too far for mixed company. He's in the business of making money and losing a membership is something that would affect him directly, especially if more women become uncomfortable there and leave.
the gym is somebody's workplace.0 -
'"For example, it is illegal to harass a woman by making offensive comments about women in general."
It could be argued...
but it wasn't directed at her and she just happened to overhear something she disapproved of, so it's hard to name as harassment.
No, it's not. If someone finds something offensive even if it's NOT directed at them they can certainly complain. They can state that they felt uncomfortable and threatened by the conversation which would lead to a 'talking to' or an investigation. Either way HR would be involved.
finding something offensive /=/ sexual harassment.
This thread is sexually harassing me . . .
You were asking for it with that picture of you and your pecs. Now come on honey, shake that money maker....
Thank you, MFP, always blaming the victim . . .
wink wink, wiggle wiggle, kissing noises, va va voom, vodeo doh doh.....
lord, I couldn't harrass someone if my life depended on it. I'd be laughed out of the room.
I feel dirty . . .0 -
by withholding sex right? amirite?How do I get through my last month? ALSO his fiancé is my trainer. I'm seriously considering canceling my appointment Wednesday.. but I also want to get as much from her as I can before I leave the gym. Help?
Well shoot, that makes it simple. Just tell his fiance that you're not renewing your membership b/c of the vulgar and offensive conversation your overheard. Then let her teach him a lesson.0 -
Honestly, just look at them and simply say "I don't care to hear that and this isn't the place for that conversation". That behavior is rude and you should have no hesitation about saying so. I go to the gym several times a week and that would not be tolerated if was offending someone. Yes it is true, boys will be boys but at some point they need to grow up and be men. If you like the gym you have every right to be there AND be happy and comfortable. Stand your ground, if he is a man he will apologize.0
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It's definitely sexual harassment. I just recently had to take a class in sexual harassment for work and it's considered harassment if you make a comment that is even just overheard by someone even though you didn't intend for them to hear it. So, for example, if I make a general comment about women's bodies and a women hears it and is offended it is harassment. This applies to peoples gender, race, sexual preferences, etc. If you like the gym, why change, just tell them what you heard and if they try to brush it off remind them it is a violation of federal law, maybe that will get their attention.0
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This reminds me of that Planet Fitness commercial where the girls are in the locker room, and one chicks overhears a conversation in which she was not a part of and feels uncomfortable because they were talking about being so hott.0
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'"For example, it is illegal to harass a woman by making offensive comments about women in general."
It could be argued...
but it wasn't directed at her and she just happened to overhear something she disapproved of, so it's hard to name as harassment.
No, it's not. If someone finds something offensive even if it's NOT directed at them they can certainly complain. They can state that they felt uncomfortable and threatened by the conversation which would lead to a 'talking to' or an investigation. Either way HR would be involved.
finding something offensive /=/ sexual harassment.
"harassment (typically of a woman) in a workplace, or other professional or social situation, involving the making of unwanted sexual advances or obscene remarks
According to the OP they were making obscene remarks that made her feel uncomfortable so yeah. It is considered sexual harassment.
But then again I only wrote Employment Practices Liability insurance policies for 13 years so what do I know?0 -
'"For example, it is illegal to harass a woman by making offensive comments about women in general."
It could be argued...
but it wasn't directed at her and she just happened to overhear something she disapproved of, so it's hard to name as harassment.
No, it's not. If someone finds something offensive even if it's NOT directed at them they can certainly complain. They can state that they felt uncomfortable and threatened by the conversation which would lead to a 'talking to' or an investigation. Either way HR would be involved.
finding something offensive /=/ sexual harassment.
"harassment (typically of a woman) in a workplace, or other professional or social situation, involving the making of unwanted sexual advances or obscene remarks
According to the OP they were making obscene remarks that made her feel uncomfortable so yeah. It is considered sexual harassment.
But then again I only wrote Employment Practices Liability insurance policies for 13 years so what do I know?
They weren't talking to her.0 -
I'm so disappointed. I was expecting a tale of sexual harassment. . .
There's no such right as the right to not be offended. Being stupid isn't (yet) illegal.0 -
well god forbid anybody not like all Americans. because it's not like we Americans ever make blanket statements putting down people from other places. damned foreigners with their stooopid metric system and all.
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