Sexual Harassment at the Gym..

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  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
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    Ummm, ipod? Headphones? Problem solved. Especially since you only have a month left.
  • Jtorres326
    Jtorres326 Posts: 157 Member
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    Don't take this the wrong way, but when I'm at the gym, I'm too busy blasting my music in my ears and working out to pay attention to anyone's conversation. Get in, do your workout and get out. If it really bothers you, and you choose not to directly confront them, come int o workout at a different time when the guys aren't there. Guys talk bull**** all the time at the gym with their friends to blow off steam. Our society is so damn sensitive about everything these days. Or just join planet fitness and sound the lunk alarm.
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
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    I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

    Oh My God, Professor Farnsworth! hahahahaha
  • EvanKeel
    EvanKeel Posts: 1,904 Member
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    I don't know that it matters if it meets the definition of harassment. You're not an employee.

    If you were in a restaurant and heard a server talking about porking every woman in sight, what would you do?

    I'd complain to the manager and find a different place to eat. The only thing that's complicating this for you is the convenience and affordability of the gym. Well, how much, in terms of your own money and time, does that offensive conversation bother you?

    I'd also make it clear to the manager why they're losing your business. You don't have be huffy or anything; just be matter-of-fact about it.
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
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    "For example, it is illegal to harass a woman by making offensive comments about women in general."
    It could be argued...
    but it wasn't directed at her and she just happened to overhear something she disapproved of, so it's hard to name as harassment.
    '

    No, it's not. If someone finds something offensive even if it's NOT directed at them they can certainly complain. They can state that they felt uncomfortable and threatened by the conversation which would lead to a 'talking to' or an investigation. Either way HR would be involved.

    finding something offensive /=/ sexual harassment.

    This thread is sexually harassing me . . .

    You were asking for it with that picture of you and your pecs. Now come on honey, shake that money maker....
  • Sarah4fitness
    Sarah4fitness Posts: 437 Member
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    People are offensive. You don't have the right not to be offended, you have the ABILITY to choose not to be offended, write them off as ignorant d-bags, and move on with your day.
  • mank32
    mank32 Posts: 1,323 Member
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    "Guys!! Are you for real?! I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt here and assume that you think either i can't hear you or that i can but don't care. Allow me please to disabuse you of any incorrect notions: you are talking so loudly that you're making your conversation my business--and it's inappropriate and entirely offensive business that i don't want. It is totally not okay to broadcast that kind of material for general consumption, and i'm not afraid to be the one who points it out. Please keep that kind of conversation to yourself."

    and then i'm the b****. :shrug: so be it.

    another example of me going around telling people to shut up: i tell people close to me sometimes (not often, fortunately) to keep their b****ing to themselves. i won't let anyone stream invective past me at someone else--i don't want to hear it.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
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    "For example, it is illegal to harass a woman by making offensive comments about women in general."
    It could be argued...
    but it wasn't directed at her and she just happened to overhear something she disapproved of, so it's hard to name as harassment.
    '

    No, it's not. If someone finds something offensive even if it's NOT directed at them they can certainly complain. They can state that they felt uncomfortable and threatened by the conversation which would lead to a 'talking to' or an investigation. Either way HR would be involved.

    finding something offensive /=/ sexual harassment.

    This thread is sexually harassing me . . .

    You were asking for it with that picture of you and your pecs. Now come on honey, shake that money maker....

    Thank you, MFP, always blaming the victim . . .
  • ZOOpergal
    ZOOpergal Posts: 176 Member
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    If this was a one time thing...well then it's over. The time to do something about it has passed. If it continues, I would take an action as the incident is happening, whichever action you choose. It's harder to correct an issue after the fact.
  • lizarddev
    lizarddev Posts: 100 Member
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    Well this is not a sexual harassment suit or complaint. I see this as a person that thinks differently than others or more sensitive. In the gym there are people around that just workout and use it as a opportunity to do better. IF this sort of conversation upsets you then make the best and use the emotions to work harder toward your goals either to lose weight or tone your body. The negativity thinking will always bring you down and make you work less in the gym, work and life. People have differentiating in opinion and will always be that way, it is just a way of life. Opportunity is always there with others being negative or doing it later. Build up and drive on, build your will and your will will build you. Having a healthy mind means many things depending on how you use it and think. That is the reason you have two sides male and female both are the same and its life. There are women that are as bad as men.

    If it really bothers you that much and you can not get around the voices in your head then step up and say something tell them to take that somewhere else where you can workout in peace. Simple and short they will get the hit.
  • dixiewhiskey
    dixiewhiskey Posts: 3,333 Member
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    you're 24. that's the age of an adult. so act like an adult and tell them you don't appreciate that sort of language. that's not being confrontational. if you cleared your throat loudly and then pointed to your ear when they looked at you the problem would have been solved. you're grown now, and when grown people need a situation to change they ask for change, then demand change, and then move on if they still aren't satisfied. but first it starts with the asking.

    Real talk
  • ahamm002
    ahamm002 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    How do I get through my last month? ALSO his fiancé is my trainer. I'm seriously considering canceling my appointment Wednesday.. but I also want to get as much from her as I can before I leave the gym. Help?

    Well shoot, that makes it simple. Just tell his fiance that you're not renewing your membership b/c of the vulgar and offensive conversation your overheard. Then let her teach him a lesson.
  • dixiewhiskey
    dixiewhiskey Posts: 3,333 Member
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    I think weird should be viewed as a compliment rather than an insult. Being normal is boring....
  • dreams4sale
    dreams4sale Posts: 26
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    I was using the bench press next to 2 bros who were talking about some lady they both knew, and one of them literally starting dry humping the air while he was describing what he did to her.


    People will be people. A lot of people don't have any manners. Switch gyms or live with it. I'm not trying to be rude, but offense is taken, not given. You are in control of yourself and your feelings and letting yourself feel offended by someone else's convo doesn't benefit you in any way.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I think weird should be viewed as a compliment rather than an insult. Being normal is boring....
    I agree. But I don't think that was the intention, based on context and follow-up explanation.
  • Teenie71
    Teenie71 Posts: 52
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    I hear things I disapprove of all day long.

    I just put my head phones back in and focus on my goals.

    Exactly THIS^^
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
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    That is not sexual harassment. At all. Put on some headphones and big girl panties.
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
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    "For example, it is illegal to harass a woman by making offensive comments about women in general."
    It could be argued...
    but it wasn't directed at her and she just happened to overhear something she disapproved of, so it's hard to name as harassment.
    '

    No, it's not. If someone finds something offensive even if it's NOT directed at them they can certainly complain. They can state that they felt uncomfortable and threatened by the conversation which would lead to a 'talking to' or an investigation. Either way HR would be involved.

    finding something offensive /=/ sexual harassment.

    This thread is sexually harassing me . . .

    You were asking for it with that picture of you and your pecs. Now come on honey, shake that money maker....

    Thank you, MFP, always blaming the victim . . .

    wink wink, wiggle wiggle, kissing noises, va va voom, vodeo doh doh.....

    lord, I couldn't harrass someone if my life depended on it. I'd be laughed out of the room.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    I was using the bench press next to 2 bros who were talking about some lady they both knew, and one of them literally starting dry humping the air while he was describing what he did to her.


    People will be people. A lot of people don't have any manners. Switch gyms or live with it. I'm not trying to be rude, but offense is taken, not given. You are in control of yourself and your feelings and letting yourself feel offended by someone else's convo doesn't benefit you in any way.

    oh so that was YOU giving me the strong side eye for that.... stop following me around when I lift- it's rude. I feel harrassed- if I want to hump the air while I lift- than I will damnit.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    Well this is not a sexual harassment suit or complaint. I see this as a person that thinks differently than others or more sensitive. In the gym there are people around that just workout and use it as a opportunity to do better. IF this sort of conversation upsets you then make the best and use the emotions to work harder toward your goals either to lose weight or tone your body. The negativity thinking will always bring you down and make you work less in the gym, work and life. People have differentiating in opinion and will always be that way, it is just a way of life. Opportunity is always there with others being negative or doing it later. Build up and drive on, build your will and your will will build you. Having a healthy mind means many things depending on how you use it and think. That is the reason you have two sides male and female both are the same and its life. There are women that are as bad as men.

    If it really bothers you that much and you can not get around the voices in your head then step up and say something tell them to take that somewhere else where you can workout in peace. Simple and short they will get the hit.

    whenever I'm differentiating in my opinions i try to be polite about it, or else at least quiet. that is all.

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