husband jokes' about my body
Replies
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Do Mediterranean men simply want to be the children to their wives rather than have them? If I were a fertile young woman dating men of that culture I'd get sterilized or move. Or maybe import a man. And I thought American men were terrible!
In for wild generalizations, xenophobia, and blatant sexism. :drinker: :flowerforyou:
It was based off a later post of OP's that was generalizing and seemed to be saying just that. *shrug* It's not sexist. Women carry babies. Our bodies change when we do it and rarely go back to exactly how they were before. Men who can't handle that shouldn't get a woman pregnant. Ever.0 -
Do Mediterranean men simply want to be the children to their wives rather than have them? If I were a fertile young woman dating men of that culture I'd get sterilized or move. Or maybe import a man. And I thought American men were terrible!
In for wild generalizations, xenophobia, and blatant sexism. :drinker: :flowerforyou:
It was based off a later post of OP's that was generalizing and seemed to be saying just that. *shrug* It's not sexist. Women carry babies. Our bodies change when we do it and rarely go back to exactly how they were before. Men who can't handle that shouldn't get a woman pregnant. Ever.
Wow! It is sexist and xenophobia or racist. Insane conclusion to come to. Generalizing an entire male population of a region because of one dysfunctional person.
P.s. I used the word insane. I'm tired. That's all I could think of. I'm not marginalizing the mentally ill. Mfp is tiring sometimes.0 -
ok so while it's terrible what your husband says to you - and he sounds like an idiot - this thread has been great for some new insults, my favourite I think was "raging douche canoe" from page 1.0
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ok so while it's terrible what your husband says to you - and he sounds like an idiot - this thread has been great for some new insults, my favourite I think was "raging douche canoe" from page 1.
This guy sounds like a two man douche canoe.0 -
Your husband sounds like an idiot!0
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Chuck him out, have the baby, get back into shape and then say 'Have a look at what you could have won'....0
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When i tried bringing it up, that it bothers me, he just turns the whole thing into a joke, saying, " im just teasing you are being super sensitive" or that i should know that he adores my body and that i used to model before so i shouldnt even question how attractive i am.
But i dont want to be attractive to others or to fashionmagazine or to other men, i want my own husband to compliment my body to not only pick on it.
At this point in the conversation what do you do?
Have you ever said directly at that point that you do not like this behaviour, you don't find it amusing and you do not wish him to repeat it again as it makes you feel bad?
He sounds insecure about his own looks and wants to keep up appearances as it were.
He doesn't sound like a monster though but rather a little self centred and insensitive to your needs. Spell it out to him, tell him what you expect and see if his behaviour changes (and it may very well do.) If it does - cool. If not decide what you want to do.0 -
I have to say, the comment that he is glad you're having a boy and not a girl bothers me. A lot. What will he do it the baby is female? Smother it? Leave it on a hospital doorstep? Why does he care so much about the baby being a boy? What if this one is a boy and the next one (if there is a next one) is a girl? Will he abuse or ignore the girl for a boy? That's just a disaster waiting to happen.
This.
I was horrified when I read that part!! because everyone knows baby girls are inferior and a financial burden right?! FFS.0 -
Do Mediterranean men simply want to be the children to their wives rather than have them? If I were a fertile young woman dating men of that culture I'd get sterilized or move. Or maybe import a man. And I thought American men were terrible!
In for wild generalizations, xenophobia, and blatant sexism. :drinker: :flowerforyou:
It was based off a later post of OP's that was generalizing and seemed to be saying just that. *shrug* It's not sexist. Women carry babies. Our bodies change when we do it and rarely go back to exactly how they were before. Men who can't handle that shouldn't get a woman pregnant. Ever.
Wow! It is sexist and xenophobia or racist. Insane conclusion to come to. Generalizing an entire male population of a region because of one dysfunctional person.
P.s. I used the word insane. I'm tired. That's all I could think of. I'm not marginalizing the mentally ill. Mfp is tiring sometimes.
Racist is when you attribute characteristics to a race. I never do that. I do acknowledge societal influence of every one of us and some societies are better or worse as far as their gender relationships. I asked if Mediterranean men had the negative characteristics stated, and if so I said women shouldn't have anything to do with them. And I stand by that. Of course, some people transcend their cultural upbringings and that's great, but no woman should date a fixer-upper. If a man acts badly and it's blamed on the culture that is no excuse to allow him to abuse her.
As for American women, we should all stop having babies because our society punishes us for it. The main justification for not paying women the same wage as men is that we take time out to have children and raise them and care for them. What kind of sick society punishes people economically for that? It hurts men, too, who should also be able to take time out to properly raise their children.
Body shaming is also a reason American women should stop having babies. It is harder to legislate away, of course. We could and should copy Israel as far as insisting on healthy models and labeling of photo-shopped images, but it goes well beyond that.0 -
Do Mediterranean men simply want to be the children to their wives rather than have them? If I were a fertile young woman dating men of that culture I'd get sterilized or move. Or maybe import a man. And I thought American men were terrible!
In for wild generalizations, xenophobia, and blatant sexism. :drinker: :flowerforyou:
It was based off a later post of OP's that was generalizing and seemed to be saying just that. *shrug* It's not sexist. Women carry babies. Our bodies change when we do it and rarely go back to exactly how they were before. Men who can't handle that shouldn't get a woman pregnant. Ever.
Wow! It is sexist and xenophobia or racist. Insane conclusion to come to. Generalizing an entire male population of a region because of one dysfunctional person.
P.s. I used the word insane. I'm tired. That's all I could think of. I'm not marginalizing the mentally ill. Mfp is tiring sometimes.
Racist is when you attribute characteristics to a race. I never do that. I do acknowledge societal influence of every one of us and some societies are better or worse as far as their gender relationships. I asked if Mediterranean men had the negative characteristics stated, and if so I said women shouldn't have anything to do with them. And I stand by that. Of course, some people transcend their cultural upbringings and that's great, but no woman should date a fixer-upper. If a man acts badly and it's blamed on the culture that is no excuse to allow him to abuse her.
As for American women, we should all stop having babies because our society punishes us for it. The main justification for not paying women the same wage as men is that we take time out to have children and raise them and care for them. What kind of sick society punishes people economically for that? It hurts men, too, who should also be able to take time out to properly raise their children.
Body shaming is also a reason American women should stop having babies. It is harder to legislate away, of course. We could and should copy Israel as far as insisting on healthy models and labeling of photo-shopped images, but it goes well beyond that.
Just lol at the ignorance0 -
Do Mediterranean men simply want to be the children to their wives rather than have them? If I were a fertile young woman dating men of that culture I'd get sterilized or move. Or maybe import a man. And I thought American men were terrible!
In for wild generalizations, xenophobia, and blatant sexism. :drinker: :flowerforyou:
It was based off a later post of OP's that was generalizing and seemed to be saying just that. *shrug* It's not sexist. Women carry babies. Our bodies change when we do it and rarely go back to exactly how they were before. Men who can't handle that shouldn't get a woman pregnant. Ever.
Wow! It is sexist and xenophobia or racist. Insane conclusion to come to. Generalizing an entire male population of a region because of one dysfunctional person.
P.s. I used the word insane. I'm tired. That's all I could think of. I'm not marginalizing the mentally ill. Mfp is tiring sometimes.
Racist is when you attribute characteristics to a race. I never do that. I do acknowledge societal influence of every one of us and some societies are better or worse as far as their gender relationships. I asked if Mediterranean men had the negative characteristics stated, and if so I said women shouldn't have anything to do with them. And I stand by that. Of course, some people transcend their cultural upbringings and that's great, but no woman should date a fixer-upper. If a man acts badly and it's blamed on the culture that is no excuse to allow him to abuse her.
As for American women, we should all stop having babies because our society punishes us for it. The main justification for not paying women the same wage as men is that we take time out to have children and raise them and care for them. What kind of sick society punishes people economically for that? It hurts men, too, who should also be able to take time out to properly raise their children.
Body shaming is also a reason American women should stop having babies. It is harder to legislate away, of course. We could and should copy Israel as far as insisting on healthy models and labeling of photo-shopped images, but it goes well beyond that.
Just lol at the ignorance
So why is it when I google Mediterranean men sexist the first article I get is:
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2009/sep/20/berlusconi-italian-women-sexism
Today's average Italian woman is a hybrid incomprehensible to foreigners: she's overdressed, overworked and has the lowest self-esteem in the western world. If she has a job, she has to work overtime inside and outside the home (Italian men rarely clean or cook, and spend less time looking after the children). Unwritten laws demand that she is cute, thin, elegant and well made-up. For Italian men it's normal to have a wife and a lover, which is why many have been amused by the adventures of the prime minister. The number of women in positions of power is small; in politics, almost all owe their status to men. The fear of being caricatured as a bitter feminist (who probably hasn't got a sex life) is always strong. Women who overcome that fear are often ridiculed.
If any word of this is true, these women should fight back and stop taking it.0 -
Guy has self esteem issues. Knocking other people down to make himself feel better. And sadly, you're the easiest target because you're right there, and he thinks you will put up with it.
This guy needs to get his house in order.
Take care of yourself.0 -
Honey, I know there are already a ton of comments here, and I've only read a few of them. Here is the most important thing to know: PREGNANT WOMEN (of any size) ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BEINGS ON THE PLANET.
I just can't understand anyone looking at a pregnant woman (especially your wife) and NOT thinking they are the most radiant, beautiful being ever.
P.S. Get a new husband.0 -
Do Mediterranean men simply want to be the children to their wives rather than have them? If I were a fertile young woman dating men of that culture I'd get sterilized or move. Or maybe import a man. And I thought American men were terrible!
In for wild generalizations, xenophobia, and blatant sexism. :drinker: :flowerforyou:
It was based off a later post of OP's that was generalizing and seemed to be saying just that. *shrug* It's not sexist. Women carry babies. Our bodies change when we do it and rarely go back to exactly how they were before. Men who can't handle that shouldn't get a woman pregnant. Ever.
Wow! It is sexist and xenophobia or racist. Insane conclusion to come to. Generalizing an entire male population of a region because of one dysfunctional person.
P.s. I used the word insane. I'm tired. That's all I could think of. I'm not marginalizing the mentally ill. Mfp is tiring sometimes.
Racist is when you attribute characteristics to a race. I never do that. I do acknowledge societal influence of every one of us and some societies are better or worse as far as their gender relationships. I asked if Mediterranean men had the negative characteristics stated, and if so I said women shouldn't have anything to do with them. And I stand by that. Of course, some people transcend their cultural upbringings and that's great, but no woman should date a fixer-upper. If a man acts badly and it's blamed on the culture that is no excuse to allow him to abuse her.
As for American women, we should all stop having babies because our society punishes us for it. The main justification for not paying women the same wage as men is that we take time out to have children and raise them and care for them. What kind of sick society punishes people economically for that? It hurts men, too, who should also be able to take time out to properly raise their children.
Body shaming is also a reason American women should stop having babies. It is harder to legislate away, of course. We could and should copy Israel as far as insisting on healthy models and labeling of photo-shopped images, but it goes well beyond that.
I stopped having babies because 4 is enough. ????
American men aren't horrible. I know so many men who are great husbands, fathers, friends, workers, etc. My husband is one of the best! There are some horrible men who just happen to be American. The same is true in all countries.
OP, you've been given great advice. What you do now is totally up to you. But do something!0 -
Hello everybody,
I didn't even notice the thread was still growing, I didnt have a chance to read through all the last responses. But thank you all for your support and taking time to answer.
We are going through therapy , so far, his behavior has completlty changed, I think he realized how serious it was. I am not expecting a miracle overnight but therapy pinpointed other underlying issues so I hope working on them it will help improve our relationship.
The baby is growing so fast, this 6th month has been a blessing,as I can really feel him kicking, twisting and moving all the time.
For those of you who showed concern, my primary focus is the well being of the baby, I am doing my best to have a healthy and nutritious lifestyle.
Thanks again for your motivation, your support and your concerns.0 -
Some people don't get it. He has a different sense of humor than you do, and what he finds amusing: you don't. Try to remind yourself that he doesn't mean anything by it. Ultimately also try to work thru the feelings you have about your body image.
that behavior is not humor- it's consistent and it's not reinforced with REAL positive love and encouragement
(my BF and I share a common very condescending type of humor- but whenever I'm feeling uncomfortable he is the first to remind me that he thinks I have the most amazing legs in the world and that my butt is the best thing that's ever happened- stares at me moves my hair and does that corny staring at my face because it's so pretty- on other days the sound of my voice is like ear sand paper and we frequently joke about collecting each other's life insurance from "accidental" deaths.)
what he is doing is manipulating and then brushing it off as a joke- it's called gas lighting- it's horrible and next to hitting a person to make them submissive it's one of the worst things you can do to someone "you care about"
glad OP is going to therapy- I have deep concerns for the fact that this jackwagon is going to be a father. not a good place to be.0 -
make fun of his penis.0
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Hello everybody,
I didn't even notice the thread was still growing, I didnt have a chance to read through all the last responses. But thank you all for your support and taking time to answer.
We are going through therapy , so far, his behavior has completlty changed, I think he realized how serious it was. I am not expecting a miracle overnight but therapy pinpointed other underlying issues so I hope working on them it will help improve our relationship.
The baby is growing so fast, this 6th month has been a blessing,as I can really feel him kicking, twisting and moving all the time.
For those of you who showed concern, my primary focus is the well being of the baby, I am doing my best to have a healthy and nutritious lifestyle.
Thanks again for your motivation, your support and your concerns.
Glad to hear that you are each doing something toward a better life.0 -
I don't know how to put this politely. He's an *kitten*. I'd never talk to my wife like that. Ever.
EDIT: Ah I now see he is trying to improve his behavior. Glad to hear that and I wish both of you the best.0
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