Is marriage still worth it?

HarrisonAR

I think it depends on your train of thought. I met my husband when we were both in the army, I Just turned 20 and he was about to turn 21.. We got married after 5 months of knowing each other and will be 6 years in August. We have 2 kids a 3 year old girl and a 3 month old boy. Im not going to tell you that it hasn't been difficult at times.. But in the end it depends on your love and commitment. We argue, we fight, we yell.. BUt at the end of the day we know our love i strong enough to withold anything. There is no point where we would be better off without each other. Unless he cheated..

IF you love her and know that your love is true and no matter what yall will fight for it, then I say get married.! If you are doubting your love, or thinking there is a chance you will give up later.. then I'd say no.

Sinisterly

If my boyfriend would have never proposed, I would have broke up with him. We've been married 3 years now. I wasn't looking for a long term dating relationship. I was looking for love and marriage. These past 3 years have been worth everything to me, and I wouldn't change it for nothing.

But you shouldn't rush into it either. Make sure you BOTH know that this is "it" and that you want it for all aspects of what it is. If not, you will end up in a divorce.

I'm happy for you, I am..

But if you love someone, whether you're married or not shouldn't really matter, imho.

Congrats, though

tapirfrog

I've been married six years and I ask myself that almost every day.

Booksandbeaches

I would love to have kids and spend the rest of my life with my girlfriend, but seeing so many people going through a divorce and what effect it has on the finances and kids I am not sure if I want to ever go down that route.

Any experience or advice would be greatly appreciated.

It's been worth it to me. Our 14th anniversary is coming up. I have no regrets about marrying him.

You both have to be invested in the marriage. Talk about everything you're concerned about now and make sure you're both in agreement.

After the initial euphoric stage, marriage is a choice to be monogamous and you make that choice every day. You have to be both committed to the commitment you make. If either one of you craves the single lifestyle then don't get married. No one has to get married these days.

randomtai

If my boyfriend would have never proposed, I would have broke up with him. We've been married 3 years now. I wasn't looking for a long term dating relationship. I was looking for love and marriage. These past 3 years have been worth everything to me, and I wouldn't change it for nothing.

But you shouldn't rush into it either. Make sure you BOTH know that this is "it" and that you want it for all aspects of what it is. If not, you will end up in a divorce.

I'm happy for you, I am..

But if you love someone, whether you're married or not shouldn't really matter, imho.

Congrats, though

It does if you want legal rights for things.

amrita0286

I would never recommend going into a marriage and only fearing that it won't work out. Just don't have that mentality.
My husband and I married quite young (we were both 23) and a lot of people thought it wasn't going to work out but we're almost 30 now and still going strong. Divorce isn't even part of the equation. People argue and bicker but adults can compromise and work something out when theres a problem. I think that's something you have to really commit to. It's not always rainbows and love but it's worth it when you can share the best parts of your life with your best friend.

margelizard

I love being married! My hubby and I have been together for 7 1/2 years and will celebrate our 6th wedding anniversary in June.

We survived being apart for six months while he was in the US and I was in the UK, we survived an overseas move, we survived both losing our jobs one after another and now we are just about to be apart for another six months as we move overseas again.

Marriage is what you make of it. Something fundamentally changes when you get married, and it's hard to pinpoint exactly what it is. For me, I;ve only just recently realized how much more commitment we have after getting married.

We try to do things for each other, we think about the other during the day, we know how to cheer each other up, we've been through difficult times, we enjoy spending time together and thinking about new things we can learn to do. Most of all, we give each other the space we need when we just want time to ourselves or to hang out with friends and we our own people for a while.

Like you (and others) have said, marriage isn't for everyone but for me, it has been the most overwhelmingly positive and amazing thing I have ever done. And my hubs is hawt!!

Go_Mizzou99

I would love to have kids and spend the rest of my life with my girlfriend, but seeing so many people going through a divorce and what effect it has on the finances and kids I am not sure if I want to ever go down that route.

You can apply the same logic (above) to the reason why you won't drive a car, for not smoking, to not eat processed sugar, etc. It sounds more like an excuse for NOT making a commitment.

Going on 28 years of marriage for my wife and me. Both of our parents were married for over 50 years before the good Lord took them. We are both traditional household offspring.

One thing that many people confuse is the Hollywood version of marriage. Head over heels in love - forevah - or, when that feeling fades, time to move on. Marriage is nothing like that in the long run. It is much, much more. In this "what's in it for me" world, it is easy to lose sight of the commitment made to each other.

Sinisterly

If my boyfriend would have never proposed, I would have broke up with him. We've been married 3 years now. I wasn't looking for a long term dating relationship. I was looking for love and marriage. These past 3 years have been worth everything to me, and I wouldn't change it for nothing.

But you shouldn't rush into it either. Make sure you BOTH know that this is "it" and that you want it for all aspects of what it is. If not, you will end up in a divorce.

I'm happy for you, I am..

But if you love someone, whether you're married or not shouldn't really matter, imho.

Congrats, though

It does if you want legal rights for things.

Seeing as I'm not materialistic, that doesn't matter to me.
-shrug-

EDIT: And before this dwindles down the wrong way, as all forum things tend to happen, wasn't saying anyone is materialistic lol.

BusyRaeNOTBusty

If my boyfriend would have never proposed, I would have broke up with him. We've been married 3 years now. I wasn't looking for a long term dating relationship. I was looking for love and marriage. These past 3 years have been worth everything to me, and I wouldn't change it for nothing.

But you shouldn't rush into it either. Make sure you BOTH know that this is "it" and that you want it for all aspects of what it is. If not, you will end up in a divorce.

I'm happy for you, I am..

But if you love someone, whether you're married or not shouldn't really matter, imho.

Congrats, though

It does if you want legal rights for things.

Seeing as I'm not materialistic, that doesn't matter to me.
-shrug-

EDIT: And before this dwindles down the wrong way, as all forum things tend to happen, wasn't saying anyone is materialistic lol.

It's not just money. It's hospital visitation, who the police will call in an accident, making decisions on weather to pull the plug, which nursing home to put someone in, etc.

MaiLinna

My parents were married when they were 19. They're 55 and still together, so I've definitely grown up with the though of working out your problems instead of divorcing.

goldthistime

For me, marriage has been easy. It's having kids that's challenging.

Sinisterly

If my boyfriend would have never proposed, I would have broke up with him. We've been married 3 years now. I wasn't looking for a long term dating relationship. I was looking for love and marriage. These past 3 years have been worth everything to me, and I wouldn't change it for nothing.

But you shouldn't rush into it either. Make sure you BOTH know that this is "it" and that you want it for all aspects of what it is. If not, you will end up in a divorce.

I'm happy for you, I am..

But if you love someone, whether you're married or not shouldn't really matter, imho.

Congrats, though

It does if you want legal rights for things.

Seeing as I'm not materialistic, that doesn't matter to me.
-shrug-

EDIT: And before this dwindles down the wrong way, as all forum things tend to happen, wasn't saying anyone is materialistic lol.

It's not just money. It's hospital visitation, who the police will call in an accident, making decisions on weather to pull the plug, which nursing home to put someone in, etc.

-nodnod-
That point I do see.

suremeansyes

I got married fairly young, at 22. Been married now for 8 years, with my husband for 14.

Before you get married, you just have to think to yourself under what circumstances you will stay married. If there are too many circumstances in which you would be willing to cut and run, don't get married. There WILL be challenges. There WILL be terrible times. There will also be wonderful ones, but no one gets divorced because things are going well.

Marriages are successful when both people are willing to put in work, but they are more successful when you are willing to -carry- your partner through the hard times too.

HappyBlues

I find it interesting that a lot of people tend to agree that "if you love the person it doesn't matter if you are married or not" but they tend to use that argument for NOT getting married. If it truly didn't matter then getting married wouldn't be such a big deal.

Sinisterly

I find it interesting that a lot of people tend to agree that "if you love the person it doesn't matter if you are married or not" but they tend to use that argument for NOT getting married. If it truly didn't matter then getting married wouldn't be such a big deal.

I'm not arguing for either.
I'm neutral, actually.

If it happens, it happens.. Once upon a blue moon I wanted to.. Now, if it happens, it happens.. If not, oh well.

However, this was an excellent point:
" It's hospital visitation, who the police will call in an accident, making decisions on weather to pull the plug, which nursing home to put someone in, etc."
So.
Back to thinking about crap for me.
Lots of it.

solarpower03

I would love to have kids and spend the rest of my life with my girlfriend, but seeing so many people going through a divorce and what effect it has on the finances and kids I am not sure if I want to ever go down that route.

Any experience or advice would be greatly appreciated.

For finances,pre nups come handy! I am wondering why it didn't exist years ago. In many cases, people endure relationship for the sake of kids.

adorable_aly

I'm not married, not even close! But seeing my parents marriage, makes me believe that yes marriage is completely and totally worth it. They have a beautiful relationship, and I'd be lucky to find that in my life.

Reggie0336

Well I think a marriage is a give and take, we don't always agree and that is how we learn from each other. You have to learn not to put everything on one person, realize sometimes you have to sacrifice and never expect your mate to do something you know they wont agree with. There always has to be mutual terms, but if you feel you have found your soul mate you should take the vow and cherish it like a prize for the rest of your life. Sometimes its good to wait and sometimes its too late. Remember its threw thick and thin the good and the bad just know that no matter what its you and your other half will have struggles along the way but its getting threw the obstacles that will only make your love continue to grow. Trust, love, respect honest and communication will be your formula to a happy marriage.

Sinisterly

There always has to be mutual terms, but if you feel you have found your soul mate you should take the vow and cherish it like a prize for the rest of your life. Sometimes its good to wait and sometimes its too late.

Awww, that was sweet. :flowerforyou: