Weight loss FEARS?
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Id like to add another spin to this thread and offer what I feared and what the reality is, maybe encourage some of you. I was scared of the loose skin, I have some but certainly not as much as I thought I would. I feared I would still look in the mirror and be unhappy with who I am, the reality is I don't know who I am anymore. Its exciting to meet this new person you become and learn about yourself, its not an overnight kind of thing it will take a while to accept who you are after weight loss. I was scared of having to buy all new clothes, yup... lots and lots of clothes.. eventually I started buying really cheap jeans and t-shirts to just get me by until I landed at the size I was going to stay at. I have spent hundreds of dollars going from a size 54 pants to now 36 and I am happy to say I am finally at the size I will be at (at least for a while). I was scared that people would treat me different, and they do but I learned who my real friends were and who were the ones that would be left behind as I start to figure all of this out.
All of the fears you have you and you alone will have to face, but I can guarantee they are all just part of the lesson to be learned and everyday a new piece to the puzzle fits. Its exciting! You are all working extremely hard to make HUGE changes in your life, the things you fear will keep you motivated..
Hope this helps a little.
It does! Thank you for this post!0 -
I'm afraid of losing the armor that my fat gives me. I will feel visible and vulnerable without it. I guess I should say that I'm afraid I won't have completed the emotional work in time to catch up with the physical work and I will be distressed and stall my progress.0
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My biggest fear was that I would look terrible at my goal weight .. well I am there and am pretty happy with where I am now. I have never been fitter in my adult years and I still want to lose a couple inches off my abs still, but overall I am pretty happy. I am not scared and disgusted at what I see in the mirror now. That is priceless.
So .. just do it. It is worth making the effort. ;-)0 -
My biggest fear right now is quitting/gaining because I'm just starting out, but looking ahead to my future 150lb self, I agree that I worry about small things like loose skin (even looser and jigglier than it is now, post-baby). I also worry about people saying I looked like crap before (i.e now), even if they mean it in a nice way.
I am mostly terrified that I will get to my goal weight and someone will say/imply that me being 218lbs was the reason my daughter was stillborn. I worry even more that a Doctor will say it. I know they won't (we already have theories/a diagnosis), so it's irrational, but it's really scary. I do not know what I would do.
This is really profound. I have no words for you except I'm sorry and I hope you can release that fear in the near future. That is a really big thing to carry. Love and healing thoughts to you!0 -
I'm in the "fat armor" camp. I'm incredibly uncomfortable with attention (even though I kind of like it at the same time, but it's this major psychological dichotomy) and even though I still have a lot of weight to loose I've noticed an increase in attention (not just from men, but even women who want to be friends with me, people striking up conversations, smiling at me, etc.) and after hiding behind massive amounts of fat for so long it's really hard to accept people's kindness and interest in me because I have felt so undeserving for so long. Really I started putting my weight on right after I met my husband and I have this theory that I did it subconsciously to test him. To see if he would still love me if I was fat. He passed the test with flying colors. Never said a single word about my weight. He is a really good man. Every day I have fears. A lot of my fears have already been mentioned in this post, but I think dwelling on those fears gives me an excuse to not continue moving forward so I don't dwell!0
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I fear failure. I fear that I will never make it to my goal weight. That I won't be able to maintain the loss, if I do make it. I fear loose skin. I fear that I will lose people as I progress through this weight loss journey and lifestyle change. And I fear that I will never truly be happy with my weight.
But you know what I fear more? Staying the way I am. The risk of all sorts of weight related health problems. Not getting to see my children grow up. Not being the healthiest me I can be.0 -
I feared being under 200lbs but was not admitting it to myself. I sabotaged my weight loss for about a year and maintained at 201/204 blaming it on everything else but the real reason.
My therapist helped me get over the hurdle and the 190's came and I was over my fear, but my god did it take a LOT of weekly sessions (about 1 year).
For those who fear loose skin: I did too and HATED MY FLAPPY, DEFLATED BODY even though I was 70lbs lighter. I couldn't wear button down shirts b/c my arms wouldn't fit. I had to wear stretch fabric for everything. My belly flab hung over my waistband and I don't even want to talk about the foreign mass between my thighs. Oye!
Plastic surgery was the cure. I got a body lift and brachioplasty in the same procedure. The surgeon removed 15lbs of skin and flab. I had my eyelids lifted in January and my neck/lower face lift done about 12 days ago. In January 2015 I will have my thighplasty and breast lift along with the "bra bulge" in my armpit removed.
Total price $34,000 for everything. I live in suburbs of Los Angeles and from my research interviewing different surgeon around LA and Orange County, this is VERY reasonable. If anyone would like my surgeon's name: Martin O'Toole in Pasadena. He's a wonderful, wonderful surgeon and I'm so pleased with the outcomes. But it's VERY hard emotionally to do these surgeries. If you think it's expensive to stay with flabby skin, just think about this for a minute. A brand new car costs about $34k and you'll have this lovely tight skin for as long as you keep it up.
Start saving your money now as you being your weight loss journey. You'll need some contouring SOMEWHERE on your body even if you're young and do weight training. The skin just doesn't come back the way you want it to no matter how hard you try.
Do I think it's worth the pain and money? Hell YES. When I ride my bike, my belly flap doesn't rest on my thighs anymore. I can fit into clothes SOOO easily now. It's amazing how 15 little pounds of skin removed looked like I lost 40lbs. Now that my face and neck are done people say I look 10 years younger and I'm only 43. I love the compliments and I love not having my skin "pool" when I lie flat in my bed.0 -
Do you have any weight loss fears? Like example some women fear that they will lost their breast size during weight loss. (this used to be one of mine)
I've always had a fear of getting an eating disorder. All those lifetime movies & lectures in high school (not to mention the people I knew who DID have them) really freaked me out.
Also just a general fear of losing that "protection" b/c that's really what it was for me for a long time. And in some ways it made me feel like by being overweight I was being a "rebel" and "non-conformist". Yeah, not so much truth in that.
Pretty sure an over 'eating disorder' is what got most of us here in the first place :frown:
True. But they don't generally make Lifetime movies about overeating or give lectures about not gaining too much weight in high school. Though I WISH they did! 0 -
I'm afraid of gaining it back. Based upon patterns in my life from the past, it's a legitimate fear, although I have never lost this much before and always lost by dieting. I'm not dieting now.
I'm afraid I'll never get to my goal, or by some freak twist of fate that I will be miserable when I do.
Most of all I am afraid that that d---head doctor who told me in 1997 that I would never be under 200 lbs was right....but I guess I'l find out in about 15-20 lbs.0 -
That my tummy will never look like it did pre-kid. Which is why I'm bulking and trying to put on muscle mass.0
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Do you have any weight loss fears? Like example some women fear that they will lost their breast size during weight loss. (this used to be one of mine)
I started out with smaller breasts. Now after 31 lbs they shrank even more. -_- sigh. So for me that is a reality.
My weight loss fears is gaining weight back after losing it.0 -
Do you have any weight loss fears? Like example some women fear that they will lost their breast size during weight loss. (this used to be one of mine)
I've always had a fear of getting an eating disorder. All those lifetime movies & lectures in high school (not to mention the people I knew who DID have them) really freaked me out.
Also just a general fear of losing that "protection" b/c that's really what it was for me for a long time. And in some ways it made me feel like by being overweight I was being a "rebel" and "non-conformist". Yeah, not so much truth in that.
Pretty sure an over 'eating disorder' is what got most of us here in the first place :frown:
True. But they don't generally make Lifetime movies about overeating or give lectures about not gaining too much weight in high school. Though I WISH they did!
Disordered eating is different than an eating disorder.0 -
I am very afraid of gaining..0
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My biggest fear is gaining it all back and being seen as a failure..0
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I didn't get a chance to read all of the responses, but I will... My fear is difficult for me to put into words - I'm scared I'll succeed. I don't know how not to be THIS me... Over the past few years, I've empowered myself, and to become a "witch" to the point where many folks don't like this assertive, no-BS me, but I really don't give a rat's hootenanny... I have never succeed at anything I've set my mind to... If I set goals, I subconsciously or unconsciously self-sabotage. I'm constantly having to depend on others to remind me what I'm fighting for and that angers me. Why can't I do this myself? I've always been that way... A quote I read said, "Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible!" Which is a variation of, "If you repeat the same actions and expect different results, that is the definition of insanity..." So I am trying to figure out what it will mean if I actually succeed....
As for loose skin, buying new clothes, and all that - I can't even worry about those things yet, because they don't seem possible! And even then, I won't let a fear stop me...or so I hope! And all of you who are fighting for yourselves - you are beautiful to me - and inspiring just the same!!! (hugs), (inspiration), and (tough love) to all!!!0 -
I feared being under 200lbs but was not admitting it to myself. I sabotaged my weight loss for about a year and maintained at 201/204 blaming it on everything else but the real reason.
My therapist helped me get over the hurdle and the 190's came and I was over my fear, but my god did it take a LOT of weekly sessions (about 1 year).
For those who fear loose skin: I did too and HATED MY FLAPPY, DEFLATED BODY even though I was 70lbs lighter. I couldn't wear button down shirts b/c my arms wouldn't fit. I had to wear stretch fabric for everything. My belly flab hung over my waistband and I don't even want to talk about the foreign mass between my thighs. Oye!
Plastic surgery was the cure. I got a body lift and brachioplasty in the same procedure. The surgeon removed 15lbs of skin and flab. I had my eyelids lifted in January and my neck/lower face lift done about 12 days ago. In January 2015 I will have my thighplasty and breast lift along with the "bra bulge" in my armpit removed.
Total price $34,000 for everything. I live in suburbs of Los Angeles and from my research interviewing different surgeon around LA and Orange County, this is VERY reasonable. If anyone would like my surgeon's name: Martin O'Toole in Pasadena. He's a wonderful, wonderful surgeon and I'm so pleased with the outcomes. But it's VERY hard emotionally to do these surgeries. If you think it's expensive to stay with flabby skin, just think about this for a minute. A brand new car costs about $34k and you'll have this lovely tight skin for as long as you keep it up.
Start saving your money now as you being your weight loss journey. You'll need some contouring SOMEWHERE on your body even if you're young and do weight training. The skin just doesn't come back the way you want it to no matter how hard you try.
Do I think it's worth the pain and money? Hell YES. When I ride my bike, my belly flap doesn't rest on my thighs anymore. I can fit into clothes SOOO easily now. It's amazing how 15 little pounds of skin removed looked like I lost 40lbs. Now that my face and neck are done people say I look 10 years younger and I'm only 43. I love the compliments and I love not having my skin "pool" when I lie flat in my bed.
15 lbs of skin is a lot of skin. I would be completely terrified to go under the knife for any reason even for necessary surgery. From my point of view you are very brave to do the surgery.0 -
I'm scared that I'll reach my goal weight and still hate the way I look.
Yes this is mine!!!!! It's very scary to know you may never be happy with you!0 -
I'm scared that I'll reach my goal weight and still hate the way I look.
^^this0 -
Looking like a deflated balloon is my biggest fear. I'm afraid of losing all this weight and still not liking the way I look but I have decided that I will have surgery to fix at least some of the things I still don't like. I've heard lots of bad things on here about surgery to get rid of loose skin and it scares me to death especially since I've never had a surgery before. So it's like either hate looking at it every time I get naked and walk past a mirror, or have this horrible surgery. It just feels like a lose/lose.0
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that i'll finish losing the last 10 pounds, and i'll buy a whole new wardrobe, then gaining weight and not being able to fit any of it.
also, that people will continue to treat me differently as a result of losing weight and being hot (just kidding. but i am treated differently now)0
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