How to stop obsessing and calorie counting

Annie_01

I, too obsess about calorie counting. I use MFP and obsess over it. I go to it numerous times a day to make changes or to ensure that I am eating the right things. I am obsessed with making sure that I eat the allotted amount too. As a task oriented person I view it as a job to be achieved. I mark off each item as it is taken in. If I do not eat it is good news, instead of bad. I know better in one part of my mind but the other part is in control. I am scared that I have developed an eating disorder. I will not eat something if it causes me to go over my caloric intake no matter how badly I am craving it. I am afraid it will make me fat even though the "right side of my brain " knows it will not make me fat. I will not eat it. I am tired of struggling. It makes me not want to track my food on MFP. I do not know if that is part of the problem. Please give input or advice. Thanks in advance .

First you just need to sit back and breath deep. I don't know if you have developed an eating disordered but what you describe I think happens to several of us...at least it did me.

I was so focused on "getting it right"...I forgot to enjoy the journey.

A few weeks ago I just had to face my obsession...food. This time not eating it...but thinking about it. I figured out that I was still letting food control me. So...

I quit worrying about macro/micro targets...quit worrying about did I have 5 servings of veggies and 2 fruits. I quit thinking about what my next serving of protein would be...how many carbs I had eaten. I stopped and just enjoyed my food. The only thing that I concentrated on was staying within my calorie goal.

Strange thing was...even with me not worrying about all of those details...at the end of the day...I had not only met my calorie goals but also those macro/micro ones. I think it proved to me...that I have the tools to eat healthy...I just have to rely upon them.

For a while I was also obsessed with exercise...not so much doing to much...just with if I was doing the right ones. I spent more time worrying about it than I did exercising...so I stopped...I went back to doing what I love to do...long walks through the city...hiking on trails...doing my errands on foot instead of using a car.

Oh...I also quit researching so much...trying to learn what to do...I just depended on what I know to do and what has been working in the past. I realized that I have already lost 65lbs in 8 months and what I learned through that will get me through the next 25 to 40 lbs. If I can't do it by this point I won't ever be able to maintain.

Sorry about getting so wordy...this has been on my mind a lot lately...letting the "process" take over...and not enjoying the "journey".

I want to look in to the mirror and not see how much more weight I have to lose...instead I want to be able to see...how far I have come.

graysmom2005

I so could have written this post. I have been on MFP since 2009 almost consistently (ticker is lower as I forgot a DAY at the holidays...bummer. LOL) But it's a constant tally in my mind at all times. I weight the same as I did when I originally lost the 40. I know I know how to eat right. I just can't let go. My fitbit ran out the other day, and I decided not to get another battery as all of these numbers that I think give me control, aren't making me happy...and I don't think they are helping me succeed more.....again, I'm still the same weight. I'm slowly coming around to realizing that the anxiety all of these numbers can cause just aren't good for the soul. It's a slow process, but I'm going to try and start just living, and hopefully finding some peace along the way.

gillian211179

Without sounding awful it is so good to hear that I am not the only one obsessing and being controlling.
One question, does anyone have an awareness of what's triggers them to loose control and have a binge? Over the past two weeks I feel as though I have been on a roller coaster. Freaking out over volume and things eaten, then getting into a good place and relaxing and loosing the pounds I had gained. This week is a total melt down. Pounds and more are on and I am struggling to get out of the pit. I am bloated and this is adding to my anxiety. However without going into the deep and meaningful I think I have figured out what my trigger is but the hard part is working out how to handle it and not let it get to me next time that I have another few days like this!!!!

dpr73

Just thought I could help out because I have recently gone through the same thing and seem to be figuring it out. I wanted to have all my numbers right ALL THE TIME. I thought going over one day would be the end of the world and was constantly counting. Eventually, I realized it wasn't healthy (NOT NECESSARILY DISORDERED...just wasn't making me happy with myself). I decided to let loose a little, which I was scared of (even posted a few times on the topic) and did away with logging on MFP for the most part. I am doing that for about three weeks and I have maintained (up to that point I was losing even though I didn't want to). I just used the eating schedule I already developed and kind of keep somewhat of a tally in my head of the calories I am eating to keep mindful. I have come off of eating things like "light" bread and moved to eating rolls/regular wheat bread. I am not so regimented with eating anymore (I eat when I am hungry, but when I need to snack, I know how substantial the snack should be to be healthy and satisfying and don't allow myself to overdo it). I have gone through Easter, A Family Celebration, and just a general weekend of letting go a little bit and haven't gained a pound! So I think as long as you stay mindful of what you're eating and allow yourself to enjoy stuff as well (YOU HAVE DEFINITELY LEARNED WHAT IS TOO MUCH!) you will start maintaining. Just try dumping MFP for a few weeks, you'll gain a MAX of like 1 or 2 lbs (which you most likely won't gain if you just stay mindful of your intake). If it works, stick with it! If for some reason it doesn't just go back to the drawing board...

Kakalina2

I too have the same worries. Last summer I hit my lowest weight. Last fall I went on a 30 day cruise and quit smoking. I gained 12 pounds. It has been 6 months and I can not lose the 12 pounds. I lost 5 of it but gained 3 back as of today. :+{

I am obsessing over it to no end. I am maintaining 1350 calories per day. I work out at the gym 3 x week for 90 minutes and have added bench pressing to my routine.

I had thought perhaps it was muscle weight and tried on a pair of pants I bought new last summer. The waist was tight. They still fit but barely. I am getting discouraged.

What do you do when you cut calories to the bone, work out and can't lose. I am quite a bit older than a lot of your pictures show but still it shouldn't be that hard just because I am over 63.

If you figure it out OP please c'mon back and let us know.

gillian211179

No expert, but maybe not eating enough!!! I find that if I go into panic mode and freak out I cut my calories significantly but my body goes into reserve mode and just holds on to the extra pounds. Whereas if I eat up to my allowance and keep up the exercise it tends to come off. Really should not freak out then, but by that point I am past the point of rational thought!!!

kelly_e_montana

I go for months without counting calories, and I lost over half of my weight this go-around with no calorie counting at all.

I have been counting calories since grade school, so I pretty much know what is in food. I also understand portion sizes and am very good at visually guessing. Usually when I weigh, I've over-estimated. I'm to the point where if I wait until the end of the day and log, I will be within 10% of my goal either way most of the time.

I'm comfortable with this. Many people would not be comfortable with this lack of precision. When I find I am getting out of whack, I sit myself down and think about mindful eating. I also track for a while. I'm tracking right now because I am on a specific body recomp plan where I track my macros, but my calories aren't a huge concern for me.

Once I stopped obsessing about my calories, I stopped thinking about food so much. It became less of a hobby. When we go through a significant weight loss, the activities surrounding how we did that can almost become hobbies. I have lost 60-80 pounds off and on every couple of years for most of my adult life. The reason I would gain it back is mostly related to an eating disorder I'm in recovery for (I would always gain weight when I wasn't working my program). I also couldn't feel the "success" of weight loss without having weight to lose.

I don't care if I gain 3 or lose 5 here. I go up and down 5-8 pounds every week.

A lot of it just depends on how much you love feeling "in control" and how well you have learned to manage portions and eat healthy foods. If you are primarily eating healthy foods like fruits/veggies/lean proteins, it will be easier to stay where you want to be without tracking too much. If you want to eat whatever you want, I think you still need to track.

kelly_e_montana

- I'll also just reiterate to keep up with the exercise. I've noticed my exercise slips when I'm being really lax on food too. For what it's worth, I have been pretty surprised by how much more I can eat than I expected and maintain, especially if I keep up with the exercise.

Truth!!!!!

SillyTree

I think you keep tracking…Being organized is smart…Allowing room to move within organization is the balance that is difficult to achieve.

I haven't read all of the responses to the original post, because there are many…
But perhaps some questions to answer, if you haven't already are;
Why are you so afraid to be bigger again???
What are you feeling when you're "freaking out" about getting off track???
Is your obsessing over taking care of your body a bad thing??? Why or why not???
If you think you should have a sense of portion control, but currently don't when it comes to sweets, why do you think or feel that is???

These questions may sound silly, but perhaps they will help get to the root of your problem, if you even have one?

cmbauer99

First... big congrats on your weight loss. Don't lose sight of all of the hard work you have put in to accomplish that.

As I get closer to my weight loss goal I have been thinking a lot about this topic. Here are my two cents worth. One of the main reasons I got overweight to begin with is because I did not have any control over what I was eating. Many times I ate just to be eating.

For me, I have had to change my mindset about counting calories. I don't look at it as an obsession, but more like I am taking control of my life instead of letting food control my life. Counting calories puts ME in control.

Good luck. Hope you find that balance that will help you maintain without driving yourself crazy.

This right here!!!! Change your thoughts change your world. You are making a life choice, you have done amazing so far, guilt and fear are causing you to obsess over this.

Each day is a new day. Slip, get back up, Slip, Getback up

bciloveme2014

bump

raegrove

I'm in the same boat. I have been in maintenance mode since mid January and still feel very obsessed with counting and planning meals. I tried to not think about it and just log at the end of the day, but then I find I am a few hundred calories above maintenance and have put a few lbs back on. I think I will have to go back to counting at least until I feel I have a good feeling of what I can consume and still remain at maintenance

HLindsayA

Interested in continuing to read this thread later when I have more time! Thanks for asking your question.

bethfartman

It's really hard. Throughout my weight loss I've taken breaks from MFP and just let myself live. I will weight myself about once a week and if the scale starts to go up more than five pounds, I reign it in and start tracking again. At first it was hard to maintain, but I've gotten to the point I can take months off of MFP and stay at the same weight and even lose a few pounds. I'm still not at my goal weight, so I'm back to tracking for a while, but I'll take a break again once I lose another 10 pounds or so. I don't take a break from exercising if I take a break from MFP, though, and I still try to eat properly. I would suggest to anyone who is losing a bunch of weight to take breaks from calorie counting occasionally and work on maintaining even if they aren't to their goal weight just yet- it's helped me tons. Just stop and see what happens and develop a strategy from there- you might find you do just fine on your own. You know what's healthy and what's not by now, you know it feels crummy to overeat for days on end. Just listen to your mind and not your stomach :-)

CorvusCorax77

I think that the fact you feel guilty for eating something you normally wouldn't, shows that you might have an unhealthy relationship to food after paying such close attention to it for so long (BIG congrats on your success btw.)...

I agree with this. Though I think personally that my unhealthy relationship with food is what made me obese in the first place.

I believe personally from studies i have listened to NPR talk about (cuz NPR) that staying at maintenance involves keeping a food log. I believe the mistake you are making is not adjusting your goals for maintenance. You *SHOULD NOT* be eating low calorie, or beating yourself up if you eat something "bad" now and again. You ate at a deficit with the goal of losing for so long, you probably can't imagine eating more and having a bit more freedom...but you are not trying to lose anymore.

I think you need to readjust your caloric goals, and I also think you need to do some work on rewiring your brain's attitude. You lost all that weight so you could be healthy and live life. Now be healthy and live life!

rosnicholls

Hi Gillian well done on your weight loss. I also obsess about my weight,food and excersise ! I'm predisposed to compulsive thinking and obsessional thoughts (I was bulimic for 20 years) I struggle with the same 10lbs - gaining it loosing it i've decided it's not food thats the problem but my head lol. I've not been bulimic for 13 years but it's left it's mark! I've just discovered this app (3 days ago) and already obsessed ! So although it looks excellent not sure it would be good for my mental health lol. The thing that helps me is buying a pretty journal and writing my thoughts and feelings down plus what I eat and exercise done. I know its still tracking but more casual if that makes sense? I've read the post's and they very helpful. For me trying to love myself and appreciate how I am is key (hard to do though). Good luck with it all and enjoy your new weight x

Teenie71

Congrats on your weight loss! If other posters haven't already said it, may i suggest stop logging for a while? I was with MFP a while back and quit because i was getting soooo obsessed with the numbers, always thinking about food, etc. Since i only have a few pounds to lose i quit logging and just focus on making healthy eating choices. Sometimes i might log if I'm going out to dinner and i want to calculate the meal i'm going to order. I know this wont work for everyone and i know this is a calorie counting site and all but so far not logging is working for me. If i find that i'm not losing I will go back to logging to get back on track.

gillian211179

Thank you so much. You offered a small amount of advice but it hit a part of me. I have in the past brought food back up and been very scared get I have gone to that dark place. It has only been the odd occasion but enough to scare the living day lights out of me. I have kept a journal over the lags year, writing in it periodically and I feel it helps but when I am in the moment of no way out I do not know where to turn.

I think you are right. For mental health mfp is not the best place but t the same time it is because if I log I know I m good and in control. I am actually off work this weekend so going to try and not track for the weekend and see where it gets me. I am in control,of what I eat but want to think about it less. Since I am off I want to have a little indulgence and enjoy a little of what I want but knowing me that does not happen. What I do know is that I will be back in control next week and I will be able to get any pounds gained back off, but for my conscience and sense of achievement I would like to try portion control without the tracking and enjoy a little of what I fancy.

Well done on your journey so far. If nothing else this blog is supportive and motivational:)))

kimacduff

I think if you are eating REAL foods that you fix yourself w/o tons of starches, it should be OK most of the time. Not processed foods . If you just have to have that pizza, spaghetti, cheesesteak sub, chocolate cake, Pina colada, etc. Eat it, drink it, enjoy it. Make sure it is really what you want. I've eaten things that didn't taste that good & were full of calories & junk. THOSE I really regretted. I always weigh in at the end of the week to keep track of where I am. the I can catch it when I am creeping up. 1 or 2 pounds isn't that big a deal.
I read or heard somewhere that obsessing with calories can be detrimental to your weight loss. I'm not sure why that would be. But, Our minds are powerful things.