Stop demeaning female bodybuilders

lilRicki

I lift weights next to a natural female bodybuilder, and all I want to do is stare at her. I am not anywhere near her league of lifting, my piddly little weights don't compare to what she deadlifts. Her form, her dedication, her amazingly ripped back...I have appreciation for all of that. I see people stare at her, and I get defensive lol I don't have enough in my to put that much dedication into the sport, but I sure love watching her squat and i'm a hetero female. I keep saying "you go girl" in my head.

KatissimusDorsi

I don't like the use of the words "disgusting" or "gross," but let's face it; there is no way to say you don't find those body types attractive without coming across as demeaning or critical or negative. And I realize these competitors are not driven by what other people find attractive, but that is the heart of this piece ... "You think this is gross, but let me tell you how hard they work ..." Well, that's beside the point. Nobody is saying they don't work hard.

I know the author of this piece is talking about comments like the hurtful terms above or equating a female bodybuilder to a man, and certainly I agree with her on those points. But there is also a budding "If you don't find this attractive, go F yourself" sentiment in this community, and that's not right either. I respect anyone for working hard to achieve a goal, but I'm allowed to like what I like without apology or defense.

My idea with detailing the difficulty of their exercise / diet regimen was just to highlight their hard work and have THAT be what we focus on when we see a bodybuilder, rather than your personal opinion on their level of attractiveness. So many comments are derogatory and degrading, seeing only the end result instead of respecting the journey and the kind of person it takes to get their.

I'd never tell anyone to change their preferences, and I don't think bodybuilders would care if you did either way. The idea is that judging these people by how attractive you find them is completely missing the point of their sport.

KatissimusDorsi

Oh hey there. I wrote this article!

I'm glad some of you enjoyed it and that it's provoked some conversation. Love seeing some of the responses for this.

I agree it's just as wrong to body-shame someone who is overweight as much as someone with a bodybuilder's physique - I like that someone pointed that out. They're very different situations, but the principle still stands.

Thank you for the article. It was good perspective a little shamming on my part. I don't like the look of overly built people, its a little terrifying to me. I can respect the effort and dedication, but I used to be one of the people who'd say "ew" in my head. I try really hard not to comment on people's bodies negatively because I don't like to be negatively commented on. Amending my thinking, however.

Could someone explain the spray tan thing though? I think that has a lot to do with my initial response of "ew". People aren't supposed to be orange....

First of all, original author, great article. I also liked the one it linked to about what "toning" means.

Second, as to spray tan, darker skin just helps show muscle definition better.

Thank you for the kind words. Glad you enjoyed it. The "toning" one was much more well-received than I had anticipated so glad to hear your thoughts there too.

geebusuk

My thoughts generally:
It's a tad rude to directly tell someone their physique is ugly, unless the have specifically asked for opinions.

However, I don't think people should be prevented from expressing their opinions in other situations. Yes, even those opinions that may offend others.

I think people that intentionally try and make their body a specific way should accept that not everyone likes it.
Just as someone in car 'modding' may find that when out of their 'scene' others think they've made it look horrible, so may others regarding bodybuilders.

As it goes, I'm not a fan of the 'competition' look for female body builders, but generally do like the "off season" appearance .

jvsghost

Also I would like to point out that contrary to popular belief you can cut weight and build muscle at the same time. Now don't get me wrong, you won't make the muscle gains you would from bulking, but your muscles will grow as you lose fat. I know as I've dropped 30 lbs of fat and increased my muscle mass exponentially as well as my lifts.

Did you start fairly recently?

I have been a member for about 6 months now, but didn't start seriously dieting and lifting until 3 months ago.

SezxyStef

Also I would like to point out that contrary to popular belief you can cut weight and build muscle at the same time. Now don't get me wrong, you won't make the muscle gains you would from bulking, but your muscles will grow as you lose fat. I know as I've dropped 30 lbs of fat and increased my muscle mass exponentially as well as my lifts.

Did you start fairly recently?

I have been a member for about 6 months now, but didn't start seriously dieting and lifting until 3 months ago.

Don't you dare try and hijack this thread with this ....only because you are new will I not really go up one side of you and down the other...

You want to debate gains on a deficet search out one of the most recent threads and join in...otherwise....

KatissimusDorsi

My thoughts generally:
It's a tad rude to directly tell someone their physique is ugly, unless the have specifically asked for opinions.

However, I don't think people should be prevented from expressing their opinions in other situations. Yes, even those opinions that may offend others.

I think people that intentionally try and make their body a specific way should accept that not everyone likes it.
Just as someone in car 'modding' may find that when out of their 'scene' others think they've made it look horrible, so may others regarding bodybuilders.

As it goes, I'm not a fan of the 'competition' look for female body builders, but generally do like the "off season" appearance .

Agreed - people shouldn't be -forced- to stifle their opinions. Preventing people from saying their thoughts doesn't do much to change said thoughts and make positive change.

I was hoping with articles like this that we could change the perception and the focus when we see a bodybuilder so that one wouldn't want to make such comments in the first place. After all, bodybuilding is not about what's pleasant to the eye - it's about competing and seeing what the body is capable of.

pettychia

Lions do not concern themselves with the opinions with sheep.

Period.

I'm going to try to remember this. Thanks!

You look FANTASTIC!

Aw, shucks :blushing:

SezxyStef

Oh hey there. I wrote this article!

I'm glad some of you enjoyed it and that it's provoked some conversation. Love seeing some of the responses for this.

I agree it's just as wrong to body-shame someone who is overweight as much as someone with a bodybuilder's physique - I like that someone pointed that out. They're very different situations, but the principle still stands.

Thank you for the article. It was good perspective a little shamming on my part. I don't like the look of overly built people, its a little terrifying to me. I can respect the effort and dedication, but I used to be one of the people who'd say "ew" in my head. I try really hard not to comment on people's bodies negatively because I don't like to be negatively commented on. Amending my thinking, however.

Could someone explain the spray tan thing though? I think that has a lot to do with my initial response of "ew". People aren't supposed to be orange....

First of all, original author, great article. I also liked the one it linked to about what "toning" means.

Second, as to spray tan, darker skin just helps show muscle definition better.

Thank you for the kind words. Glad you enjoyed it. The "toning" one was much more well-received than I had anticipated so glad to hear your thoughts there too.

I also enjoyed it and it was right on point based on comments I had recently read (quote on first page) in another satirical article about women who life or are body builders.

I can personally say I lift for me...no one else.

I have had many of my "Friends" comment on my physique since I started saying I have no *kitten*...which I had to laugh at..or that my shoulders are too big now for sleevless tops...etc. and I am not a body builder so I can just imagine...

in_the_stars

Ever noticed when someone meets a woman how quickly they say: You look great!

It is as if the first thing we feel we can judge about a woman openly is her appearance.

Sad, but true.

RockWarrior84

Ever noticed when someone meets a woman how quickly they say: You look great!

It is as if the first thing we feel we can judge about a woman openly is her appearance.

Sad, but true.

But it is always the first impression a person gets......you do not meet a person and know them right away.

BusyRaeNOTBusty

Ever noticed when someone meets a woman how quickly they say: You look great!

It is as if the first thing we feel we can judge about a woman openly is her appearance.

Sad, but true.

But it is always the first impression a person gets......you do not meet a person and know them right away.

Yup. It's the same for men, they just don't comment on it. We don't read minds, we see people.

DymonNdaRgh40

I lift weights next to a natural female bodybuilder, and all I want to do is stare at her. I am not anywhere near her league of lifting, my piddly little weights don't compare to what she deadlifts. Her form, her dedication, her amazingly ripped back...I have appreciation for all of that. I see people stare at her, and I get defensive lol I don't have enough in my to put that much dedication into the sport, but I sure love watching her squat and i'm a hetero female. I keep saying "you go girl" in my head.

Love this! I'm trying to get to that level.

usmcmp

I don't like the use of the words "disgusting" or "gross," but let's face it; there is no way to say you don't find those body types attractive without coming across as demeaning or critical or negative. And I realize these competitors are not driven by what other people find attractive, but that is the heart of this piece ... "You think this is gross, but let me tell you how hard they work ..." Well, that's beside the point. Nobody is saying they don't work hard.

I know the author of this piece is talking about comments like the hurtful terms above or equating a female bodybuilder to a man, and certainly I agree with her on those points. But there is also a budding "If you don't find this attractive, go F yourself" sentiment in this community, and that's not right either. I respect anyone for working hard to achieve a goal, but I'm allowed to like what I like without apology or defense.

You're right. There's also no nice way to tell a super thin person or super fat person that you don't find their body type attractive without coming across as negative. Telling someone you don't like how they look is unnecessary. If they didn't ask your opinion there is no need to give it. Like what you like without apology or defense, but don't feel the need to share it if you aren't asked.

JoRocka

I don't like the use of the words "disgusting" or "gross," but let's face it; there is no way to say you don't find those body types attractive without coming across as demeaning or critical or negative. And I realize these competitors are not driven by what other people find attractive, but that is the heart of this piece ... "You think this is gross, but let me tell you how hard they work ..." Well, that's beside the point. Nobody is saying they don't work hard.

I know the author of this piece is talking about comments like the hurtful terms above or equating a female bodybuilder to a man, and certainly I agree with her on those points. But there is also a budding "If you don't find this attractive, go F yourself" sentiment in this community, and that's not right either. I respect anyone for working hard to achieve a goal, but I'm allowed to like what I like without apology or defense.

You're right. There's also no nice way to tell a super thin person or super fat person that you don't find their body type attractive without coming across as negative. Telling someone you don't like how they look is unnecessary. If they didn't ask your opinion there is no need to give it. Like what you like without apology or defense, but don't feel the need to share it if you aren't asked.

Absolutely!!!

I am not physically attracted to obese people.
I am not physically attracted to exceptionally lean and un-muscled people.
I'm not exceptionally attracted to red heads- or exceptionally short people either.

There is nothing offensive about it- it's an opinion- and I'm not demeaning anyone.
If someone finds offense at it- that's on them not me- because it's NOT an offensive statement. It certainly CAN be- but just that statement alone is not offensive.

It is also not how I reject someone's advances. That only comes up when we are having discussion bout what I find physically attractive. Otherwise it's not relevant to any conversation and doesn't need to be shared.

I think it's a common topic to discuss what turns someone's knobs as far as features- hell even I talk about chicks *kitten*- it's almost a running joke- I like butts (I also cannot lie about this). It's almost like talking about the weather- the issues is that it's okay to talk about what you like- but not so much about what you don't like- public perception has pushed "fat shaming" and "fit shaming" into a whole new world of offenses- that sometimes- just are not offensive.

My personal opinion doesn't have to be offensive unless I go out of my way to make it so- otherwise- you're just taking it to be offensive when it really has nothing to do with you (generic you)

KnM0107

I agree about not being demeaning towards anyone, regardless of their bodies. Calling someone's body "disgusting" is really, really rude, and I associate that kind of thing with internet trolls.

Needless to say, that goes both way. Overweight people shaming those who are thin, thin shaming the obese. Slim women shaming female bodybuilders, and female bodybilders referring to just about everybody as "not in shape".

I don't dislike female bodybuilders at all, but I have experienced a few times that they are critical of others and have a low bar for calling others "skinnyfat". Some love to promote the "strong is the new skinny" and how health is more important, although some appear to be obsessed. Sometimes it's accompanied by random commandments, telling strangers over social media to "lift properly girls!"
In a discussion about weight goals one fitness woman gave me a strategy as to minimize my body fat. I wrote that I wasn't really interested in going below 18% and that 22-23% was fine by me. It then turned into a discussion where I felt like I had to defend my goal, and the simple reason is that I think a woman's body is more attractive with a bit more fat on it, and secondly, that going down to 18% bodyfat, a woman's fertility gets compromised. These are really just facts, but I was called "hateful".

I am fine with whatever other people want for their own bodies, as long as they are fine with me handling mine. One person's goal is not everybody's goal, and that's ok.

Well said!

Timshel_

I think stop demeaning people period is a good idea.

mfp2014mfp

How about people just have sufficient self esteem so that when people say mean things it doesnt matter anyways.
Some people will never stop being mean, they like it.
Other people unintentionally hurt others feelings, but are still good people.

At the end of the day all we can do is worry about our own actions and how we react to these things, because worrying about trying to contol other peoples actions, words and thoughts is pointless and to be honest not anyones job.

geebusuk

How about people just have sufficient self esteem so that when people say mean things it doesnt matter anyways.

Indeed.
Far too much time and effort seems to go in to stopping people being "offensive", when to my mind, it would be much better to teach people to live their lives without being "offended" .

Bernadette60614

One of the aspects I really appreciate about lifting is that I'm defining my "great" as strong, fit and capable. As opposed to what a lot of society defines as "great" for a woman: young and skinny.

Once you start lifting (or at least it was this way for me), I became in charge of my "great",

There are lots of offensive terms that are no longer acceptable (terms used to describe people of different races, ethnic backgrounds, and sexual orientation) and I, for one, am glad that people protested and made them unacceptable. These aren't "just" words, they come with attitudes and prejudices.