Any child free peeps on MFP?

Options
1…89111314…22

Replies

  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Options
    Yup - but obviously I'll change my mind (ask anyone they've told me often enough since I was 19 years old).:huh:

    Right? I got married which undoubtedly meant that children will soon come after. Um...no. And I don't understand why it's unbelievable that a person or couple opt-out of parenting? Why is that so hard to believe? Never understood the mindset of some.

    Just thought I'd answer this question ^^ because I see it crop up so often from child-free people:

    Because for parents, it's unfathomable to imagine happiness without a sweet bundle in your arms. No judgement, of course. Some people just aren't cut out to be parents and that's perfectly ok.

    But you need to understand that you are opting out of something that brings millions of people the most indescribable joy and life satisfaction. For someone to actively choose to pass that up is mind boggling. And for us THAT is what is hard to understand. I respect the choice and defend your right to have it, but I will never, ever understand it. :wink:

    Hope that opens up some understanding. :flowerforyou:

    It's really not "unfathomable" for me that some people do not want children. I understand it completely. Doesn't boggle my mind at all.

    It's not unfathomable to me and it doesn't boggle my mind either.





    Same here. Babies do not give you love. Babies give you stink, spit-up, diapers, unending demands, huge expense. I've spent time with babies and toddlers, and not one second of it was enjoyable.

    We meant that it doesn't boggle our mind that some people don't want to be parents (for many different reasons), and that some people don't even like being around kids (a separate thing because some people like kids, but still don't want to be a parent). Even though, I have two, and I have always really enjoyed being around kids and teach dance to kids because I like kids. But, I can understand why some people don't and why some people don't want to be parents.

    Edit to add: There are also people that have kids and don't like kids. That happens also.
  • calibriintx
    calibriintx Posts: 1,741 Member
    Options
    Yup - but obviously I'll change my mind (ask anyone they've told me often enough since I was 19 years old).:huh:

    Right? I got married which undoubtedly meant that children will soon come after. Um...no. And I don't understand why it's unbelievable that a person or couple opt-out of parenting? Why is that so hard to believe? Never understood the mindset of some.

    Just thought I'd answer this question ^^ because I see it crop up so often from child-free people:

    Because for parents, it's unfathomable to imagine happiness without a sweet bundle in your arms. No judgement, of course. Some people just aren't cut out to be parents and that's perfectly ok.

    But you need to understand that you are opting out of something that brings millions of people the most indescribable joy and life satisfaction. For someone to actively choose to pass that up is mind boggling. And for us THAT is what is hard to understand. I respect the choice and defend your right to have it, but I will never, ever understand it. :wink:

    Hope that opens up some understanding. :flowerforyou:

    It's really not "unfathomable" for me that some people do not want children. I understand it completely. Doesn't boggle my mind at all.

    It's not unfathomable to me and it doesn't boggle my mind either.

    Same here. Babies do not give you love. Babies give you stink, spit-up, diapers, unending demands, huge expense. I've spent time with babies and toddlers, and not one second of it was enjoyable.

    Really? My two kids both give me plenty of love and did so even when they were babies. Clutching my finger, falling asleep on my chest, even just smiling at me. Those are some of the ways that babies express love for and comfort around whoever they are with. But they are also mirrors of what they receive. So, if you didn't get any enjoyment around babies and toddlers, I can pretty much guarantee they were happy when the door shut behind you as well.

    Ding, ding ding!
  • sillygoosie
    sillygoosie Posts: 1,109 Member
    Options
    Right now, I'm considering living an adult free life.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Options
    Right now, I'm considering living an adult free life.

    They do tend to get fussy over the silliest things, don't they?

    :laugh:
  • ThinLizzie0802
    ThinLizzie0802 Posts: 863 Member
    Options
    I suggest you jump ship on this thread and join the private Child Free by Choice group. It's much easier to discuss our decision there without parents barging in to tell us what we're missing/what they consider to be child free/etc. I really don't care what you decide to call it, but if that's your definition and that is the topic you want to discuss, the group is a great place to go.
  • MapleFlavouredMaiden
    MapleFlavouredMaiden Posts: 595 Member
    Options
    Right now, I'm considering living an adult free life.

    You win the internet today my dear
  • Geoj0
    Geoj0 Posts: 145 Member
    Options
    me! theyre all grown up ha
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
    Options
    Wow. It's amazing what folks here will find argue about. :frown:
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Options
    Right now, I'm considering living an adult free life.

    You absolutely win.
  • tambam69
    tambam69 Posts: 270 Member
    Options
    Not really sure where I fit in now because I have been married for 23 years and have had no kids however my husband and I found out that he has a daughter from a previous relationship and didn't meet her until she was 23 years old....So where does that leave me?
  • rowlandsw
    rowlandsw Posts: 1,166 Member
    Options
    There's a massive stigma against folks who are childfree by choice, i'm on a forum for folks like that and we get trolls all the time. Even on tv they talk about it like we're freaks. I got fixed years ago. I'm having enough fun being an uncle to my friends' kids, i don't want any of my own. Not to mention the mental health issues. Modern parents and society are part of why i didn't want them either, i'll be damned if some moron parent or idiot in the schools/government tell me how to raise a kid. Bad parents are why this nation is going to crap by being friends with the kid and not parents.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Options
    Anybody want to go for a run?

    No, but I'd love a beer.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
    Options
    I think that child free people seem hostile and angry (based solely on this post).

    This post is stressing me out far worse than my child does when he is acting up.

    Not here to argue, just stating how I interpreted the replies in here by those who don't seem to appreciate comments by people with children. To people who have children, being "child free" can simply mean a trip to the grocery store alone. I see that the OP was edited to clarify so many responses probably came in before she did that.

    i think that a lot of what you see is maybe more of a knee-jerk reaction from a lot of us. some of this in here was genuine "no, the term means this". but every person who makes this choice is told the SAME things by society over and over and over and OVER. and it does grate, and it can make us a little quicker to defend. b/c we're so used to having to do that.

    Not trying to argue (truly not, trust me), but I sometimes have a hard time believing that people who choose to be "different", whether it be child-free, vegan, paleo, etc. and complain about having to deal with "society at large" really do hate it. They never seem to get sick of posting repeatedly about the same damn thing. Over and over. Like "hey look at me I choose this lifestyle, aren't I special and unique!!" No one cares. And I don't feel bad if you have to defend it over and over again. The reason people don't memorize all of your labels and terms and special definitions is because it's your issue and no one else gives it any thought. But some of you seem to be so consumed by your own labels that it's all you talk about. Congrats you have no kids, what are you doing with all of your spare time? Oh... I see... you're posting on MFP about it.... every day.

    Wow....what threads are you reading ? In something like 380 days on MFP for me this is the first thread that deals with the subject.....so, where are all those Child Free people that go on about the " same damn thing " and on every day ?

    At least one woman in this thread regularly brings up the fact that she's not having kids. And yeah, when you start calling it "child free" and get bent when someone who can't have kids, has grown children, or is waiting to have kids uses the two words together, it does seem trendy and really effing annoying. Before the "child free" movement, child free meant people who can't have kids, haven't had them yet, don't want them at all, got a sitter so they could go on a date, or their kids are off at college, etc. Now there's this group of women (I never see child free men getting butthurt if someone else uses the term) who've turned it into a movement and they're often angry, throwing around words like breeders and crotch fruit.

    I planned to leave this thread behind but curiosity got the better of me. I am probably the one mentioned here who "brings up all the time" that I am not having kids and I am child free by choice. I will never make apologies for that. I am proud of my lifestyle decision and feel it's much more of a monumental choice than being say, gluten free. If my constant mentions of this bugs people, then I STRONGLY suggest they make use of the ignore feature. In fact, I am a bit disturbed that a couple of people are still reading my posts here when they're clearly not fans. When I don't like what someone has to say on a regular basis, I ignore them.

    Anyway -- I needed to point out that I have NEVER used words like breeders, crotch fruit, etc. I think that's pretty tacky and disrespectful. It helps no one. I love my parents. I love my friends who are parents. I don't think it's wrong to have kids! I do think it would be wrong for me. Online forums are a wonderful place - USUALLY - to vent about this stuff and to find community. I've made a lot of childfree by choice friends online, some of them have even turned into my "real life" friends.

    Last thing: I sincerely apologize if people truly didn't know about the terminology and came to this thread clueless. I've been in groups online and offline for more than a decade that center on this stuff, so I just thought that it was more widely known and that some people were being quite flippant and/or rude to suggest they are childfree when they have children or eagerly plan to do so in the future.
  • mmm_drop
    mmm_drop Posts: 1,126 Member
    Options
    Anybody want to go for a run?

    No, but I'd love a beer.

    Well, I run for beer, so could we go for a run first, then meet for beer?
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Options

    Same here. Babies do not give you love. Babies give you stink, spit-up, diapers, unending demands, huge expense. I've spent time with babies and toddlers, and not one second of it was enjoyable. I wish we could go straight to teenagers and skip the little kid stage.

    I sincerely hope you never, ever, ever have children. In fact, maybe just stay away from all children.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
    Options
    I'm always happy when certain people make the decision to help clean up the gene pool
  • RunWinterGarden
    RunWinterGarden Posts: 428 Member
    Options
    I was CF for a long time, got fixed and everything. I tried to find places to talk about this life with others and I found that pretty much all CF people were complete and total *kitten* who were just angry individuals and went out of their way to make fun of those who have kids. When I found myself being like that I stopped associating at those places and just went about my life. After I met my new wife I decided that I finally found someone who I wanted to procreate with, got the vasectomy reversed, have one kid and one on the way. I'll never convince any of those in this thread that they should change their mind, but to anyone who has any shadow of a doubt needs to go ahead and think about it and be open minded. Kids are totally worth it, dirty diapers and all.
  • krazyforyou
    krazyforyou Posts: 1,428 Member
    Options
    I wanted children, but could not have them.
  • _Lovely77_
    _Lovely77_ Posts: 993 Member
    Options
    I would just like to point out that before this thread I never seen anyone comment about how not wanting to be a parent is unfathomable. In fact the only time I have seen that mentioned is here by those who want to be child free. Of course though, I could just have missed all those other forums that did mention such things.
  • _Lovely77_
    _Lovely77_ Posts: 993 Member
    Options
    2ltlzrm.jpg


    Nah, but seriously, if you are awesome enough to be a parent, go have you some babies! But if you don't want kids, don't have any. There are enough sh1tty parents in the world already.

    +1 couldn't agree more

Categories