rejected by online soulmate b/c of weight
Replies
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nutellabrah, is that you?just like us guys always uphold the dumb rule of never calling within three days of getting out of our comfort zone to ask for the digits.
If a guy took three days to contact me after I gave him my number, I was assume he's a big pu$$y and that would be the end of that.
lmfao, your dating a ton of desperate men, or they are ALL coming from tinder. the rule of three is a sacred cree to seperate the alpha's from the shemen. Its a sign that we truly are hardly invested, and def not desperate.
Plus, you'd be impressed I call period.. so many chicks compliment me on calling after I get their number... all my male friends txt first... the bottom feeders your dealing with.. now that is being a big kitty kat.
YOUR an interesting guy.0 -
nutellabrah, is that you?just like us guys always uphold the dumb rule of never calling within three days of getting out of our comfort zone to ask for the digits.
If a guy took three days to contact me after I gave him my number, I was assume he's a big pu$$y and that would be the end of that.
lmfao, your dating a ton of desperate men, or they are ALL coming from tinder. the rule of three is a sacred cree to seperate the alpha's from the shemen. Its a sign that we truly are hardly invested, and def not desperate.
Plus, you'd be impressed I call period.. so many chicks compliment me on calling after I get their number... all my male friends txt first... the bottom feeders your dealing with.. now that is being a big kitty kat.
YOUR an interesting guy.
You know....now that you mention it...major similarities there.0 -
just like us guys always uphold the dumb rule of never calling within three days of getting out of our comfort zone to ask for the digits.
If a guy took three days to contact me after I gave him my number, I was assume he's a big pu$$y and that would be the end of that.
Agreed. I would text near immediately.
:flowerforyou:0 -
just like us guys always uphold the dumb rule of never calling within three days of getting out of our comfort zone to ask for the digits.
If a guy took three days to contact me after I gave him my number, I was assume he's a big pu$$y and that would be the end of that.
lmfao, your dating a ton of desperate men, or they are ALL coming from tinder. the rule of three is a sacred cree to seperate the alpha's from the shemen. Its a sign that we truly are hardly invested, and def not desperate.
Plus, you'd be impressed I call period.. so many chicks compliment me on calling after I get their number... all my male friends txt first... the bottom feeders your dealing with.. now that is being a big kitty kat.
Let's be real. You aren't getting laid near as often as you say you are and the quality of those women is very low.0 -
nutellabrah, is that you?just like us guys always uphold the dumb rule of never calling within three days of getting out of our comfort zone to ask for the digits.
If a guy took three days to contact me after I gave him my number, I was assume he's a big pu$$y and that would be the end of that.
lmfao, your dating a ton of desperate men, or they are ALL coming from tinder. the rule of three is a sacred cree to seperate the alpha's from the shemen. Its a sign that we truly are hardly invested, and def not desperate.
Plus, you'd be impressed I call period.. so many chicks compliment me on calling after I get their number... all my male friends txt first... the bottom feeders your dealing with.. now that is being a big kitty kat.
YOUR an interesting guy.
You know....now that you mention it...major similarities there.
Did he finally find his way out of the forest?0 -
[/quote]
Please don't improve for him, do it for YOU... he doesn't deserve you at your best, if he can't take you at your worst. If it's one thing it will always be another. When you find the person for you, this will never even be questioned.
[/quote]
This!0 -
yeah I seriously don't think chicks think clearly about dropping those love bombs... it reminds me of a few weeks ago.. I was super funny and witty on tinder with a chick, got her number, call her and am being mr. glib.. and she says "I love you" ... so a date I was excited and looking forward to suddenly didn't happen and I promptly hung up and muted her over fb and ignored the desperate txt.. Girls should have a dumb rule that they never are allowed to say "I love you" first, just like us guys always uphold the dumb rule of never calling within three days of getting out of our comfort zone to ask for the digits.
How do you feel about designer clothing, and perfume? Do you enjoy lunch shops, and Beagles? Do you live in China?
I may have the girl for you!0 -
Am I a bottom feeder because I prefer texting to phone calls?0
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Never love anybody who treats you like you're ordinary. - Oscar Wilde0
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I haven't read all 15 pages, so pardon me if this have been covered ... but is it possible the OP and the OS (Online Soulmate) just didn't jive in person? It's very easy to put on your best face and personality online and over the phone, but keeping up that perfect persona in person is much more difficult..... I mean, I would probably be a little put off by a person being a lot heavier than I expected when we met, and I'd probably want to bail and think things over too - not because I'm shallow, but because it's a huge reality check to meet someone in person that isn't the same person you envisioned in your mind in the months prior.
Lastly, I'm going to say one thing that IS kind of shallow ..... I mean seriously, two words: Online. Soulmate.
So then we are NOT soulmates? :huh:0 -
dome = head
wow factor = not having to be coaxed into anal or bondage
cutie from Brazil = a girl I am going to date tonight that recently got here from america and is hotness personified - at least in the pics ;PP
fingers straight= lets deduce why would my fingers need to be straight?
0 -
Am I a bottom feeder because I prefer texting to phone calls?
He's finding insecure, emotionally wrecked young girls on Tinder (home of the sleaziest, emotionally distraught women and men in America). Can't be more of a bottom feeder than that.0 -
"Hi, I have been talking to this girl for several months and we were really falling for her. She was funny, engaging, and lead an active lifestyle. She recently moved and I started pressing to meet in person. She was really hesitant and told me she didn't want to because she recently got sick and gained a few pounds. Based on some older photos she sent, I decided that a few pounds didn't matter and set up the meeting anyway.
Well, when I got there, 'a few pounds' was really 60 and I was starting to doubt that this was recent as it's nearly impossible to gain weight that quickly, but I tried moving past it since we have such a great connection. A few hours passed and I kept thinking back to it and I just couldn't let it go. I tried making an excuse so I could go home and think things over but she kept asking what was wrong. I decided to be upfront with her and she started crying. I care for her so I spent the next two hours holding her and saying things will be ok, but I'm not sure they will be."
Yeah, I'm thinking this is pretty much spot on.
OP said in the beginning she was fit, confident, etc. Then she moved. Then she got sick and gained weight. She also said that she shared a lot of deep personal stuff w/ this guy. All of these things, IMO, came too early in the process of them getting to know one another. You're not going to pique or keep a guy's interest in the beginning with heavy stuff like that. Then she started questioning him when she sensed something was off, asking if it was her weight. Then...2 hours of crying - that alone would scare anyone off, I would think. I understand she was upset and confused but as another poster said, sometimes we women use that to try to manipulate a situation.
What I still can't figure out is why he said he loved her when they first got together, then later said "I think I can love you".
My working theory is she surprised him with an "I LOVE YOU!" and he knee-jerk responded in kind.
Just a theory though.
yeah I seriously don't think chicks think clearly about dropping those love bombs... it reminds me of a few weeks ago.. I was super funny and witty on tinder with a chick, got her number, call her and am being mr. glib.. and she says "I love you" ... so a date I was excited and looking forward to suddenly didn't happen and I promptly hung up and muted her over fb and ignored the desperate txt.. Girls should have a dumb rule that they never are allowed to say "I love you" first, just like us guys always uphold the dumb rule of never calling within three days of getting out of our comfort zone to ask for the digits.
Guys can prematurely drop the 'love bomb' as well. It's an awkward situation when it's only been a short time and it sends up HUGE red flags.0 -
lmfao, your dating a ton of desperate men, or they are ALL coming from tinder. the rule of three is a sacred cree to seperate the alpha's from the shemen. Its a sign that we truly are hardly invested, and def not desperate.
Wrong. It's a sign of being a real man who knows what he wants and goes after it, stupid games be damned.Plus, you'd be impressed I call period.. so many chicks compliment me on calling after I get their number... all my male friends txt first... the bottom feeders your dealing with.. now that is being a big kitty kat.
If you're dating girls that are simply impressed by your ability to pick up a telephone and dial a number, then they are sorely lacking experience with a real gentleman.
"who know's what he wants and goes after it?" news flash.. all guys want poon, and all guys would be willing to jump into a relationship if the other individual/partner.. utensil ;P was spectacular. the difference is some guys run after it, and some guys like me are blessed with the law of least effort.. and look it up its actually a legit thing.. we don't need to go get what we want because we are so studly it comes to us... now granted, occasionally I have to ask for a chicks number, but from after that she does all the work in anything getting anywhere.
as for being a real gentleman.. some days I wake up rocking the monocle, cane, top hat, my fav black suit before leaving the door... and sometimes on forums I play devils advocate and just talk meat and bones while being witty... when I'm dating a lady legit, I treat her like a lady. Calling immediately is a boys maneuver, real men wait three days.. part of the reason is I like to sit down and put all the numbers into my phone at once that ive collected over the past couple days, but part of it is because it gets the chick also flustered wondering if I will call or not period.
believe me. the three day rule is a real thing, and the law of least effort is what enables a nitwit like me to date foreign ladies and models and not stuck with what I used to date... dating is a game and once you realize thats all it is it gets a whole lot easier to play, and way less of a chance of disappointment or hurt. embrace the game! XD0 -
I haven't read all 15 pages, so pardon me if this have been covered ... but is it possible the OP and the OS (Online Soulmate) just didn't jive in person? It's very easy to put on your best face and personality online and over the phone, but keeping up that perfect persona in person is much more difficult..... I mean, I would probably be a little put off by a person being a lot heavier than I expected when we met, and I'd probably want to bail and think things over too - not because I'm shallow, but because it's a huge reality check to meet someone in person that isn't the same person you envisioned in your mind in the months prior.
Lastly, I'm going to say one thing that IS kind of shallow ..... I mean seriously, two words: Online. Soulmate.
So then we are NOT soulmates? :huh:
No, no, we really are soulmates ... because you know I'm still 60+ pounds overweight, and I'd never just tell you I loved you ... that love crap is for suckers.0 -
sorry to hear about what you're going through; rejection is really hard and horrible. i used to do online dating and the person is always different in reality. when you talk to them online you build up this image of them and in reality when they're not what you expect it's disappointing. people look different in reality and online and also chemistry online isn't the same as chemistry offline. you may think from talking online that that person is your soulmate, but people present themselves differently online. that's why im against online dating and would rather meet people in reality. its hard to know what this guy was really thinking, but maybe you weren't what he expected. i dont mean that in a bad way. i think each to their own and you shouldn't feel down about it. beauty is in the eye of the beholder. apparently every man fancied megan fox, not true. my brother doesn't find her attractive and thinks that she's too skinny and fake. he's always liked girls who are curvacious and his wife is quite a big girl but he loves her as she is.
dont be be down about this though, like i said just because you click with someone online doesn't mean that you'll click in person. maybe he just felt that there wasn't any chemistry. dont loose weight just for some guy, do it for yourself. i want to be thin because im worried if i get in a relationship and im not skinny, a guy will tell me to loose weight because my ex boyfriend did. i am loosing weight for myself because my health and being slim is important for me to feel good about myself and to feel healthy, but i still have those insecurities. i know a guy who will still love me even if i go through a tough time and do gain weight and doesnt care is a keeper. plus people can still be attractive even if they gain weight, as long as they take care of themselves and dont have the mentally, oh ive got a partner, i can let myself go now. someone who doesn't care about their appearance isnt attractive, but you do care about your appearance, if you didn't you wouldn't be wanting to loose weight. only loose the weight for yourself and to feel good about yourself. we're human and we cant be perfect all the time, we gain weight sometimes but we can also bounce back.
Loose weight for your health and for your own self esteem. it seems like it wasnt meant to be with this guy. dont take it too personally, he could have had this own issues. he doesnt seem like a very genuine person and at least you learn now. in future i think its better to meet people in reality rather than build up an online relationship and when you meet them in reality be disappointed. you cant really get to know someone online. my friend is on an "online long distance relationship" with this guy in america (we live in england) and she only communicates with him through facebook and skype. she claims that he's perfect for her, he very well could be but there's also the possibility that when they meet in person they'll be disappointed and wont have quite that strong chemistry, attraction or connection. they havent spent any real time together and they dont really know one another. i hope you feel better and you'll meet someone who will be right for you. rejection hurts but it can only make us stronger.0 -
yeah I seriously don't think chicks think clearly about dropping those love bombs... it reminds me of a few weeks ago.. I was super funny and witty on tinder with a chick, got her number, call her and am being mr. glib.. and she says "I love you" ... so a date I was excited and looking forward to suddenly didn't happen and I promptly hung up and muted her over fb and ignored the desperate txt.. Girls should have a dumb rule that they never are allowed to say "I love you" first, just like us guys always uphold the dumb rule of never calling within three days of getting out of our comfort zone to ask for the digits.
How do you feel about designer clothing, and perfume? Do you enjoy lunch shops, and Beagles? Do you live in China?
I may have the girl for you!
:laugh:
A wine tasting would be a excellent first date.0 -
"Hi, I have been talking to this girl for several months and we were really falling for her. She was funny, engaging, and lead an active lifestyle. She recently moved and I started pressing to meet in person. She was really hesitant and told me she didn't want to because she recently got sick and gained a few pounds. Based on some older photos she sent, I decided that a few pounds didn't matter and set up the meeting anyway.
Well, when I got there, 'a few pounds' was really 60 and I was starting to doubt that this was recent as it's nearly impossible to gain weight that quickly, but I tried moving past it since we have such a great connection. A few hours passed and I kept thinking back to it and I just couldn't let it go. I tried making an excuse so I could go home and think things over but she kept asking what was wrong. I decided to be upfront with her and she started crying. I care for her so I spent the next two hours holding her and saying things will be ok, but I'm not sure they will be."
Yeah, I'm thinking this is pretty much spot on.
OP said in the beginning she was fit, confident, etc. Then she moved. Then she got sick and gained weight. She also said that she shared a lot of deep personal stuff w/ this guy. All of these things, IMO, came too early in the process of them getting to know one another. You're not going to pique or keep a guy's interest in the beginning with heavy stuff like that. Then she started questioning him when she sensed something was off, asking if it was her weight. Then...2 hours of crying - that alone would scare anyone off, I would think. I understand she was upset and confused but as another poster said, sometimes we women use that to try to manipulate a situation.
What I still can't figure out is why he said he loved her when they first got together, then later said "I think I can love you".
My working theory is she surprised him with an "I LOVE YOU!" and he knee-jerk responded in kind.
Just a theory though.
yeah I seriously don't think chicks think clearly about dropping those love bombs... it reminds me of a few weeks ago.. I was super funny and witty on tinder with a chick, got her number, call her and am being mr. glib.. and she says "I love you" ... so a date I was excited and looking forward to suddenly didn't happen and I promptly hung up and muted her over fb and ignored the desperate txt.. Girls should have a dumb rule that they never are allowed to say "I love you" first, just like us guys always uphold the dumb rule of never calling within three days of getting out of our comfort zone to ask for the digits.
Guys can prematurely drop the 'love bomb' as well. It's an awkward situation when it's only been a short time and it sends up HUGE red flags.
Yeah...I'd be leery of any man who dropped his love bomb prematurely!0 -
This thread is making me feel like I am more charming than what I give myself credit for.0
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Am I a bottom feeder because I prefer texting to phone calls?
nope, I could have worded that better.
but if you want to tease her kitty as quickly as possible- call.0 -
lololololollmfao, your dating a ton of desperate men, or they are ALL coming from tinder. the rule of three is a sacred cree to seperate the alpha's from the shemen. Its a sign that we truly are hardly invested, and def not desperate.
Wrong. It's a sign of being a real man who knows what he wants and goes after it, stupid games be damned.Plus, you'd be impressed I call period.. so many chicks compliment me on calling after I get their number... all my male friends txt first... the bottom feeders your dealing with.. now that is being a big kitty kat.
If you're dating girls that are simply impressed by your ability to pick up a telephone and dial a number, then they are sorely lacking experience with a real gentleman.
"who know's what he wants and goes after it?" news flash.. all guys want poon, and all guys would be willing to jump into a relationship if the other individual/partner.. utensil ;P was spectacular. the difference is some guys run after it, and some guys like me are blessed with the law of least effort.. and look it up its actually a legit thing.. we don't need to go get what we want because we are so studly it comes to us... now granted, occasionally I have to ask for a chicks number, but from after that she does all the work in anything getting anywhere.
as for being a real gentleman.. some days I wake up rocking the monocle, cane, top hat, my fav black suit before leaving the door... and sometimes on forums I play devils advocate and just talk meat and bones while being witty... when I'm dating a lady legit, I treat her like a lady. Calling immediately is a boys maneuver, real men wait three days.. part of the reason is I like to sit down and put all the numbers into my phone at once that ive collected over the past couple days, but part of it is because it gets the chick also flustered wondering if I will call or not period.
believe me. the three day rule is a real thing, and the law of least effort is what enables a nitwit like me to date foreign ladies and models and not stuck with what I used to date... dating is a game and once you realize thats all it is it gets a whole lot easier to play, and way less of a chance of disappointment or hurt. embrace the game! XD
:laugh:
NO.
(I srsly hope you are kidding. And if you are not, wonder how long it will take before you realize how silly this is.)0 -
just a thought here but...maybe hes not your "soulmate" if he cannot accept you as you are.0
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"Hi, I have been talking to this girl for several months and we were really falling for her. She was funny, engaging, and lead an active lifestyle. She recently moved and I started pressing to meet in person. She was really hesitant and told me she didn't want to because she recently got sick and gained a few pounds. Based on some older photos she sent, I decided that a few pounds didn't matter and set up the meeting anyway.
Well, when I got there, 'a few pounds' was really 60 and I was starting to doubt that this was recent as it's nearly impossible to gain weight that quickly, but I tried moving past it since we have such a great connection. A few hours passed and I kept thinking back to it and I just couldn't let it go. I tried making an excuse so I could go home and think things over but she kept asking what was wrong. I decided to be upfront with her and she started crying. I care for her so I spent the next two hours holding her and saying things will be ok, but I'm not sure they will be."
Yeah, I'm thinking this is pretty much spot on.
OP said in the beginning she was fit, confident, etc. Then she moved. Then she got sick and gained weight. She also said that she shared a lot of deep personal stuff w/ this guy. All of these things, IMO, came too early in the process of them getting to know one another. You're not going to pique or keep a guy's interest in the beginning with heavy stuff like that. Then she started questioning him when she sensed something was off, asking if it was her weight. Then...2 hours of crying - that alone would scare anyone off, I would think. I understand she was upset and confused but as another poster said, sometimes we women use that to try to manipulate a situation.
What I still can't figure out is why he said he loved her when they first got together, then later said "I think I can love you".
My working theory is she surprised him with an "I LOVE YOU!" and he knee-jerk responded in kind.
Just a theory though.
yeah I seriously don't think chicks think clearly about dropping those love bombs... it reminds me of a few weeks ago.. I was super funny and witty on tinder with a chick, got her number, call her and am being mr. glib.. and she says "I love you" ... so a date I was excited and looking forward to suddenly didn't happen and I promptly hung up and muted her over fb and ignored the desperate txt.. Girls should have a dumb rule that they never are allowed to say "I love you" first, just like us guys always uphold the dumb rule of never calling within three days of getting out of our comfort zone to ask for the digits.
Guys can prematurely drop the 'love bomb' as well. It's an awkward situation when it's only been a short time and it sends up HUGE red flags.
Yeah...I'd be leery of any man who dropped his love bomb prematurely!
...as long as they excel in other areas... meh.0 -
"who know's what he wants and goes after it?" news flash.. all guys want poon, and all guys would be willing to jump into a relationship if the other individual/partner.. utensil ;P was spectacular. the difference is some guys run after it, and some guys like me are blessed with the law of least effort.. and look it up its actually a legit thing.. we don't need to go get what we want because we are so studly it comes to us... now granted, occasionally I have to ask for a chicks number, but from after that she does all the work in anything getting anywhere.
as for being a real gentleman.. some days I wake up rocking the monocle, cane, top hat, my fav black suit before leaving the door... and sometimes on forums I play devils advocate and just talk meat and bones while being witty... when I'm dating a lady legit, I treat her like a lady. Calling immediately is a boys maneuver, real men wait three days.. part of the reason is I like to sit down and put all the numbers into my phone at once that ive collected over the past couple days, but part of it is because it gets the chick also flustered wondering if I will call or not period.
believe me. the three day rule is a real thing, and the law of least effort is what enables a nitwit like me to date foreign ladies and models and not stuck with what I used to date... dating is a game and once you realize thats all it is it gets a whole lot easier to play, and way less of a chance of disappointment or hurt. embrace the game! XD
Or maybe, just maybe, those chicks aren't thinking about you at all. Perhaps they are out with real men, enjoying the fact that they haven't heard from you?
You're cute. I'm sure you'll figure out when you grow up :flowerforyou:0 -
1st thing you should do if you're interested with someone online is to video chat. Get it out of the way to see if they're really interested or not. Don't beat yourself up, he was probably married or in a relationship anyway. If a man really wants to meet you they will make it happen, not wait months and months. Don't let this rejection affect your health or motivation. Chin up girl, there is a perfect man out there for you just be patient.0
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"Hi, I have been talking to this girl for several months and we were really falling for her. She was funny, engaging, and lead an active lifestyle. She recently moved and I started pressing to meet in person. She was really hesitant and told me she didn't want to because she recently got sick and gained a few pounds. Based on some older photos she sent, I decided that a few pounds didn't matter and set up the meeting anyway.
Well, when I got there, 'a few pounds' was really 60 and I was starting to doubt that this was recent as it's nearly impossible to gain weight that quickly, but I tried moving past it since we have such a great connection. A few hours passed and I kept thinking back to it and I just couldn't let it go. I tried making an excuse so I could go home and think things over but she kept asking what was wrong. I decided to be upfront with her and she started crying. I care for her so I spent the next two hours holding her and saying things will be ok, but I'm not sure they will be."
Yeah, I'm thinking this is pretty much spot on.
OP said in the beginning she was fit, confident, etc. Then she moved. Then she got sick and gained weight. She also said that she shared a lot of deep personal stuff w/ this guy. All of these things, IMO, came too early in the process of them getting to know one another. You're not going to pique or keep a guy's interest in the beginning with heavy stuff like that. Then she started questioning him when she sensed something was off, asking if it was her weight. Then...2 hours of crying - that alone would scare anyone off, I would think. I understand she was upset and confused but as another poster said, sometimes we women use that to try to manipulate a situation.
What I still can't figure out is why he said he loved her when they first got together, then later said "I think I can love you".
My working theory is she surprised him with an "I LOVE YOU!" and he knee-jerk responded in kind.
Just a theory though.
yeah I seriously don't think chicks think clearly about dropping those love bombs... it reminds me of a few weeks ago.. I was super funny and witty on tinder with a chick, got her number, call her and am being mr. glib.. and she says "I love you" ... so a date I was excited and looking forward to suddenly didn't happen and I promptly hung up and muted her over fb and ignored the desperate txt.. Girls should have a dumb rule that they never are allowed to say "I love you" first, just like us guys always uphold the dumb rule of never calling within three days of getting out of our comfort zone to ask for the digits.
Guys can prematurely drop the 'love bomb' as well. It's an awkward situation when it's only been a short time and it sends up HUGE red flags.
Yeah...I'd be leery of any man who dropped his love bomb prematurely!
Hey!
This occasionally happens to all guys!
:grumble:
Besides, I haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately...
...and I've been stressed at work.
ETA: Oh, whoops. Misread that.
Never mind.
Nothing to see here.
Move along.
Move along.0 -
yeah I seriously don't think chicks think clearly about dropping those love bombs... it reminds me of a few weeks ago.. I was super funny and witty on tinder with a chick, got her number, call her and am being mr. glib.. and she says "I love you" ... so a date I was excited and looking forward to suddenly didn't happen and I promptly hung up and muted her over fb and ignored the desperate txt.. Girls should have a dumb rule that they never are allowed to say "I love you" first, just like us guys always uphold the dumb rule of never calling within three days of getting out of our comfort zone to ask for the digits.
How do you feel about designer clothing, and perfume? Do you enjoy lunch shops, and Beagles? Do you live in China?
I may have the girl for you!
:laugh:
A wine tasting would be a excellent first date.
my thoughts exactly0 -
Not to kick you while you are down and I didn't read all the responses but where you honest with him? I mean you kept making excuses to not meet him but did you tell him you had gained weight? Because that is a pretty big thing to not mention and it's also a pretty hard thing to hide.
Being 100% honest when you are are in love with someone online is a pretty big thing, I mean they trust you are telling them the truth and then find out you aren't that would be enough for me to tuck tail and run. If you didn't tell the truth about your weight, what else did you hide?
I think you need to do some real soul searching and figure yourself out before you worry about someone else, and in the event that you meet a new guy online or this whatever it is works out.... be honest, don't hide things, because it will ALWAYS come back to bite you on the *kitten*.0 -
yeah I seriously don't think chicks think clearly about dropping those love bombs... it reminds me of a few weeks ago.. I was super funny and witty on tinder with a chick, got her number, call her and am being mr. glib.. and she says "I love you" ... so a date I was excited and looking forward to suddenly didn't happen and I promptly hung up and muted her over fb and ignored the desperate txt.. Girls should have a dumb rule that they never are allowed to say "I love you" first, just like us guys always uphold the dumb rule of never calling within three days of getting out of our comfort zone to ask for the digits.
How do you feel about designer clothing, and perfume? Do you enjoy lunch shops, and Beagles? Do you live in China?
I may have the girl for you!
:laugh:
A wine tasting would be a excellent first date.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
"Hi, I have been talking to this girl for several months and we were really falling for her. She was funny, engaging, and lead an active lifestyle. She recently moved and I started pressing to meet in person. She was really hesitant and told me she didn't want to because she recently got sick and gained a few pounds. Based on some older photos she sent, I decided that a few pounds didn't matter and set up the meeting anyway.
Well, when I got there, 'a few pounds' was really 60 and I was starting to doubt that this was recent as it's nearly impossible to gain weight that quickly, but I tried moving past it since we have such a great connection. A few hours passed and I kept thinking back to it and I just couldn't let it go. I tried making an excuse so I could go home and think things over but she kept asking what was wrong. I decided to be upfront with her and she started crying. I care for her so I spent the next two hours holding her and saying things will be ok, but I'm not sure they will be."
Yeah, I'm thinking this is pretty much spot on.
OP said in the beginning she was fit, confident, etc. Then she moved. Then she got sick and gained weight. She also said that she shared a lot of deep personal stuff w/ this guy. All of these things, IMO, came too early in the process of them getting to know one another. You're not going to pique or keep a guy's interest in the beginning with heavy stuff like that. Then she started questioning him when she sensed something was off, asking if it was her weight. Then...2 hours of crying - that alone would scare anyone off, I would think. I understand she was upset and confused but as another poster said, sometimes we women use that to try to manipulate a situation.
What I still can't figure out is why he said he loved her when they first got together, then later said "I think I can love you".
My working theory is she surprised him with an "I LOVE YOU!" and he knee-jerk responded in kind.
Just a theory though.
yeah I seriously don't think chicks think clearly about dropping those love bombs... it reminds me of a few weeks ago.. I was super funny and witty on tinder with a chick, got her number, call her and am being mr. glib.. and she says "I love you" ... so a date I was excited and looking forward to suddenly didn't happen and I promptly hung up and muted her over fb and ignored the desperate txt.. Girls should have a dumb rule that they never are allowed to say "I love you" first, just like us guys always uphold the dumb rule of never calling within three days of getting out of our comfort zone to ask for the digits.
Guys can prematurely drop the 'love bomb' as well. It's an awkward situation when it's only been a short time and it sends up HUGE red flags.
Yeah...I'd be leery of any man who dropped his love bomb prematurely!
Hey!
This occasionally happens to all guys!
:grumble:
Besides, I haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately...
...and I've been stressed at work.
Fine...I will forgive you. Just make sure you don't fall asleep next time m'kay?0
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