How do you feel about fat pride?

AglaeaC

People should feel happy in themselves whatever shape or size and also it sends a positive message that they shouldn't be bullied for not being in the "ideal" category.

It doesn't mean it's recruiting people or telling people to be unhealthy it's just helping people who may have low self esteem to have the confidence to step out of the front door and not feel ashamed.

I don't understand why people want a overweight person to be disgusted by themselves every time they look in a mirror as if self hate is the best motivator (maybe it is for some, a wake up call or whatever but for alot of people it can be debilitating). Personally the better I feel about myself the more I want to take care of myself. It's when my confidence is shot that I want to eat a liter of double nut fudge choco icecream.

If it isn't overweight, then it is something else; the world will always be home to pathetic people with nothing better to do than patch their own sad self by throwing crap on others and this is a fact. "Fat pride" to me screams quick fix, whereas I'm all about going to the root of the problem. "Fat pride" won't help you stay away from the double nut fudge choco ice cream, your strong mind will.

velvet_violence

Why not just call it self-pride and leave the fat out? Or is that too simple a solution?

In a perfect world this could apply to anybody. The reason people respond with "fat pride" is due to all of the "fat shame", and some people are not OK with allowing others to have self-esteem if they are large. Why I have no idea but I think it has been pretty well expressed several times in this thread. People think larger folks have no right to feel good about themselves. Which is fine if you can keep that line of thinking to yourself, unfortunately though it shows up in forms of discrimination and other sublimated hatred. There is also a number of people who just bully others based on anything they can, and in my honest opinion they don't want people to get healthy. Haters gonna hate.

All in all I really agree with your statement and now I guess I have to look at some Drop Dead Diva.

Why care about what others think, whether they approve or not, whether they think one should not feel good about oneself or should feel good about oneself? "Fat pride" is very much in tune with what the rest of the world thinks or doesn't think, but ultimately nobody can command me to feel something; it has to come from within. If hatred exists, one ought to find various "survival skills" in one's mind and respond in a calm way, perhaps just walk away. Silence is a very powerful tool, but that's something many don't seem to grasp.

If someone "hates on" (oh goodness how I detest that expression, it's utterly ridiculous) another person and that person responds in a dignified way, be it in words or silence, the crap might soon stop when the "haters" notice their efforts have no effect. They might keep trying for a while, stop altogether or keep going forever, but again, who cares? If pathetic minds have nothing else to do with their time, then let them keep going; it says so much about them as people.

Do you think your day would be any different if I told you a huge bunch of nasty stuff about your appearance and person? It shouldn't and regardless of what the mockery, teasing, bullying is about, people do need to work on their self-esteem. If your day is affected by my very much out of line words, look inwards and stop blaming me. Work on mental strength. You will never know in advance when someone might say something nasty to you, so it might be a smart thing to be prepared for anything at all times. If you have a calm, strong mind, none of it will affect you. "Fat pride" is a bad, weak crutch that will snap under you in no time and you should rely on yourself only.

I wish I was strong enough to not care at all what people say but even the most iron minded can't just brush that off. They do something to deal with it whether or not it's get up in your face and claim they are proud of something so damn terrible. I grew up in a place where it was horrible things said and thought 99% of the time and the world is simply too beautiful to live that way. The very act of being ready to be cut down at any moment causes the same kind of stress that makes it difficult to lose weight. I wouldn't mind seeing more people take responsibility for themselves and their actions since literally everyone could improve, not just us fatties.

George_Baileys_Ghost

I'm all for consenting adults being able to do and feel whatever they want, as long as they aren't forcing others to do stuff. If their pride doesn't affect me, then good for them. The world is negative enough by itself without me running around trying to shineblock others.

BobbiTracey

Articles like this make me so angry!
'Fat acceptance' is a load of crap. I totally agree that anti-bullying campaigns are ok when it comes to being fat, no-one should be discriminated for being fat, but taking pride in the fact that you are fat is a whole other matter. The only reason that 'fat acceptance' campaigns exist is because people feel that they cannot do anything about their weight and decide to accept it, rather than change it. This is a lazy way out and it's only going to hurt themselves, no matter if they have 'accepted' it or not. I've never really been fat, but I could tell when I was going down the wrong track and I decided to change it, and from here I've never looked back. There is no way you can accept being 'fat', and people who say they have are only kidding themselves.

Rant over haha

tedrickp

I'm all for consenting adults being able to do and feel whatever they want, as long as they aren't forcing others to do stuff. If their pride doesn't affect me, then good for them. The world is negative enough by itself without me running around trying to shineblock others.

I pretty much agree with this.

I'd also throw into the discussion; metabolically healthy obese people may in fact exist:

http://wholehealthsource.blogspot.ca/2013/12/does-metabolically-healthy-obesity-exist.html

An interesting look at the subject. And before anyone gets their jimmies rustled by "OMG its a blog post not a scientific study". It's a blog post by a Neurobiologist and Obesity Researcher, full of references.

jenilla1

I'm not sure that I completely understand fat "pride" or fat "acceptance". Pride suggests that fatness is something to aspire to, a goal to be achieved, while acceptance makes me think that one is simply resigned to being fat. I guess that's OK, but I just have a hard time wrapping my brain around it.

Personally, I think it's more important to take pride in your accomplishments and in the good you bring to this world, no matter your weight. I'm on board with general SELF-acceptance, and I think we all need to learn to love ourselves (with all of our faults) in order to really become the best versions of ourselves.

If fat pride or acceptance somehow motivates someone to be a better person, then I'm all for it. If it's just a cop-out or an excuse to stagnate or being used as a way to dodge opportunities for personal growth, then I think it's a harmful thing.

randomtai

this weekend my sister told me I am too "skinny" and I "look gross"

she is 300 lbs and I wanted to tell her she was too fat but I held my tongue.....

This type of "skinny shaming" happens far too often from people who want to have "fat pride". SMDH :noway:

AglaeaC

I wish I was strong enough to not care at all what people say but even the most iron minded can't just brush that off. They do something to deal with it whether or not it's get up in your face and claim they are proud of something so damn terrible. I grew up in a place where it was horrible things said and thought 99% of the time and the world is simply too beautiful to live that way. The very act of being ready to be cut down at any moment causes the same kind of stress that makes it difficult to lose weight. I wouldn't mind seeing more people take responsibility for themselves and their actions since literally everyone could improve, not just us fatties.

If it causes you stress to be prepared to let stuff flow off of you like the water off a goose, then you're doing it the wrong way. What I mean is when someone says something, you look at it from the outside in a way, see their ugliness and insecurity for what it is (because it takes a very insecure person to need to find strength in ridiculing and belittling others, no strong person has to draw their energy from such behaviour) and realise it has nothing to do with you. And the crap just rolls off, doesn't affect you in any way. You're teflon.

You need to see yourself as the beautiful human being you are and you need to see you do not have to crap on others to feel better about yourself; you are that strong and you have that much integrity. Any man-made concept on the outside of you won't do anything active for your self-image, but every change happens - inside you - because you were ready for it and you made it happen.

As for everyone improving, not just you, you're right. But at the same token, you can't change anyone but yourself, so that's where all your energy should be placed. Once you're strong enough, you can give to others the way they gave to you when you needed it. That act in itself can also be a source of energy, because genuine help offered is usually gracefully accepted and you will feel when you have reached someone else. If you're not there yet, let others help you and learn to ask for help when you need it; I'm sure someone will give you a hand.

MrTolerable

fat pride is disgusting

it fosters obesity and poor health.

^this was my repeated point yesterday.

Anddd

seriously if someone is obese or heavily fat. well then they don't love themselves. THEY CAN NOT, you can certainly judge people by their words, but you DEF can judge people by their actions, and if they can't take care of their temple, then frankly it is very evident that they do not truly love themselves if they can't sacrifice a few hours time, or a few moments pleasure at the mouth for the sake of keeping their temples clean.

If your "big-boned" and your doctor says your healthy then obviously I'm all about encouraging and supporting you... if you get sweaty walking up the steps into work, and reek all day from the mold growing in your fat rolls... I don't care WHAT you say - your OBESE you do not love yourself, your prob on prescription meds treating just symptoms of the root problem which is a TOTAL lack of control.

*drops mic*

NYGiantsGirl73

*sigh* I usually stay out of the forums, but this popped up in my sidebar this morning and I couldn't resist.

Here's the thing with shaming...no one can "shame" you. You already feel shame, and when someone points out something you already hate about yourself, it just brings it to the surface. So, anyone who claims to be "fat-shamed"...you already are ashamed about that aspect of yourself. If you honestly love your body, love the fact that you are fat, then you won't care what anyone says in regard to your physique.

I've seen a lot of claims throughout this thread regarding fat and/or obesity and health. "But I'm fat and healthy!! My blood work is fine!!" Good for you. Let me ask you a few questions. When was the last time you had an ultrasound on your carotid arteries? An EKG? How are your joints feeling? How tired are you? How much sugar are you craving? And the ultimate question...how long do you think that good blood work is going to last? Mine lasted until I was 32. Some, of course, go much longer depending on family history and lifestyle.

Now, for the Fat Acceptance/Fat Pride/Healthy At Every Size Movement (HAES)....that's an interesting can of worms. Out of morbid (see what I did there?) curiosity, I checked out a variety of blogs from some of the leaders of the movement. While there is a lot of talk regarding acceptance and pride, there is a disturbing amount of childish vitriol towards anyone who does not agree with their position, or, in some cases, just with women who are not of size. I recommend Googling Dances With Fat, This is Thin Privilege, The Fat Nutritionist (this one just blows my mind), and check out #notyourgoodfatty on Twitter.

I'm all for loving who you are, but honesty should play a part in it.

MityMax96

Try taking a middle seat on a transcontinental flight between 2 people who cannot fit in their own seats and you'll see what I mean. It's not just annoying; it's downright painful.

This is my big complaint and why I hate flying.

I paid for my seat, not yours, so I stay in mine.

You paid for your seat, not mine.....so keep your rolls to yourself.

I hate to be rude about it....but damn, come on.
It is cramped enough as it is....and if I want to use an arm rest, but can't cause your muffin top is in my way....
It makes me very mad :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

MrTolerable

I knew I should not read this thread its filled with so much disgusting that I cannot even deal right now

also just want to point out that I am currently fat and considered perfectly healthy (aside from my chronic illnesses that I have no matter what my size or "health")

just because when you were fat you were miserable DOES NOT MEAN EVERY FAT PERSON IS MISERABLE YOU ARE NOT THEM YOU DO NOT KNOW THEM YOU WILL NEVER KNOW your experience does not equal someone elses. Just because you were not happy does not mean they cannot be perfectly happy as a 300 pound person. Just because you think they do not deserve to be happy and you think they need to change their body you think their body is not good DOES NOT MEAN THEY HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU THINK IS BEST DOES NOT MEAN THEY HAVE TO CHANGE (to fit what you see as okay to fit what you think is healthy to fit what you think is acceptable) HOLY SSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!T

people need to stop thinking their opinions of other peoples bodies and health actually matter . people need to stop projecting their own self hate on to other people and their own body expectations on to other people

just stop fat acceptance is extremely needed and anyone who says otherwise needs to shut up sit down and mind their own damn business

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The more I read, the more I fumed, at some of the vain glorious, self righteous, BS some of them are mouthing.

this weekend my sister told me I am too "skinny" and I "look gross"

she is 300 lbs and I wanted to tell her she was too fat but I held my tongue.....

seriously, I can relate.. and its sad because the vast majority now of America is FAT and doesn't even realize it!!

I guess I'm lucky my doctor is Russian and is just very blunt and candid with me - but America is disgusting, between the ridiculous diets- I mean fast food should NEVER EVER be consumed and we have an entire culture around fast food? WHAT DA FAQ?!

...her point reminds me of hitting up my friends pool party... I pull my shirt off all excited to show off months of hard work - instead I get my buddies gf' eye r@ping me, and grief from all the guys that I'm too skinny...

...too skinny... being at an ideal physical performance level is now ..too skinny...

as they are slugging beer and eating steak like they all just put in a two hour workout as well...

there should be zero fat pride. there should be pride in being healthy.. "healthy pride" and if you are really healthy then by all means celebrate - but this fat pride nonsense does nothing but pervert the word 'pride' because its changing its meaning. to include 'despite' now as in 'despite' being fat.

TheVirgoddess

*sigh* I usually stay out of the forums, but this popped up in my sidebar this morning and I couldn't resist.

Here's the thing with shaming...no one can "shame" you. You already feel shame, and when someone points out something you already hate about yourself, it just brings it to the surface. So, anyone who claims to be "fat-shamed"...you already are ashamed about that aspect of yourself. If you honestly love your body, love the fact that you are fat, then you won't care what anyone says in regard to your physique.

I've seen a lot of claims throughout this thread regarding fat and/or obesity and health. "But I'm fat and healthy!! My blood work is fine!!" Good for you. Let me ask you a few questions. When was the last time you had an ultrasound on your carotid arteries? An EKG? How are your joints feeling? How tired are you? How much sugar are you craving? And the ultimate question...how long do you think that good blood work is going to last? Mine lasted until I was 32. Some, of course, go much longer depending on family history and lifestyle.

Now, for the Fat Acceptance/Fat Pride/Healthy At Every Size Movement (HAES)....that's an interesting can of worms. Out of morbid (see what I did there?) curiosity, I checked out a variety of blogs from some of the leaders of the movement. While there is a lot of talk regarding acceptance and pride, there is a disturbing amount of childish vitriol towards anyone who does not agree with their position, or, in some cases, just with women who are not of size. I recommend Googling Dances With Fat, This is Thin Privilege, The Fat Nutritionist (this one just blows my mind), and check out #notyourgoodfatty on Twitter.

I'm all for loving who you are, but honesty should play a part in it.

I'm fat and I'm one who "claimed" to be healthy in this thread.

My heart is great, it's been checked recently. I have no joint issues at all and I sleep fantastically. I only "crave" sugar when it's Shark Week - and I'm in control of those (if I have the calories, I have a treat, it not - no dice).

Even my doctor remarked about my health vs. my weight.

I'm completely and totally against shaming of *any* sort and I find it so hypocritical that an overweight person would perpetuate that sort of behavior (not saying I don't believe you, I do).

I'm not sure how I feel about the shaming part - like I said earlier, I've never been fat shamed. I'm starting to think it's because I never *expected* people to be mean to me because I was fat - so I didn't interpret their actions through that looking glass? I think if you expect people to treat you a certain way, it will happen - because you're looking for it and assigning their motives for them (does that make ANY sense?).

I don't know. I generally dislike people being made fun of or talked down to because of their looks - and that's happening in this thread a lot. I should just stay away, I know - but I feel compelled to speak up for people who don't have the guts to do so themselves. A lot of people on here are fat - and working hard to change that, and it might hit home.

kirili3

I think "fat pride" is a bit of a misnomer. I've never come across anyone that has been actively proud of being overweight. I think the purpose is to encourage people to find their inner strength/worth, while being fat. Not letting the label define all aspects of their life.

Which, IMO is really important. I'm overweight. I was diagnosed with "severe depression". I started treatment immediately. It was about six weeks later that I started liking who I was - finding worth in myself. Which led to me wanting to live a healthier lifestyle, which lead me here (20 pounds lighter so far).

You have to feel like you're worth it - why else would you pursue living a healthier life? You can't change and make better choices until you've decided to invest in yourself. That's what I feel like this "movement" (or whatever it is) is about.

All my opinion, of course.

I agree with you except for the part that that's what the movement is about.

I am just skeptical as to whether they just mean that people should love and care about their minds and bodies, which of course everyone should, or whether they go further and say it's okay to be physically unhealthy.

Otherwise, I agree with everything else that you've said. Fighting depression has led to making other healthy changes. If people are hurt about their weight, they will have to find their comfort somewhere, and for people who have been big all their lives like me, that comfort is in food. I'm fully behind the idea of self-acceptance, but for example there's a girl on there who has type 1 diabetes but it okay with being overweight. I understand that it's very hard to lose weight, especially if one is taking insulin (it's like trying to turn back the tide, though some people seem to really try and actually do), but being okay with it doesn't help. It's the physical side that's difficult to deal with, but trying to make it part of a movement toward self-acceptance seems counter-productive.

Basically, these people seem more like ones who self-identify as big as part of their identity, rather than people trying to be happy within themselves. People who understand and appreciate themselves also often want to move towards being physically healthy too.

MrTolerable

*sigh* I usually stay out of the forums, but this popped up in my sidebar this morning and I couldn't resist.

Here's the thing with shaming...no one can "shame" you. You already feel shame, and when someone points out something you already hate about yourself, it just brings it to the surface. So, anyone who claims to be "fat-shamed"...you already are ashamed about that aspect of yourself. If you honestly love your body, love the fact that you are fat, then you won't care what anyone says in regard to your physique.

I've seen a lot of claims throughout this thread regarding fat and/or obesity and health. "But I'm fat and healthy!! My blood work is fine!!" Good for you. Let me ask you a few questions. When was the last time you had an ultrasound on your carotid arteries? An EKG? How are your joints feeling? How tired are you? How much sugar are you craving? And the ultimate question...how long do you think that good blood work is going to last? Mine lasted until I was 32. Some, of course, go much longer depending on family history and lifestyle.

Now, for the Fat Acceptance/Fat Pride/Healthy At Every Size Movement (HAES)....that's an interesting can of worms. Out of morbid (see what I did there?) curiosity, I checked out a variety of blogs from some of the leaders of the movement. While there is a lot of talk regarding acceptance and pride, there is a disturbing amount of childish vitriol towards anyone who does not agree with their position, or, in some cases, just with women who are not of size. I recommend Googling Dances With Fat, This is Thin Privilege, The Fat Nutritionist (this one just blows my mind), and check out #notyourgoodfatty on Twitter.

I'm all for loving who you are, but honesty should play a part in it.

I'm fat and I'm one who "claimed" to be healthy in this thread.

My heart is great, it's been checked recently. I have no joint issues at all and I sleep fantastically. I only "crave" sugar when it's Shark Week - and I'm in control of those (if I have the calories, I have a treat, it not - no dice).

Even my doctor remarked about my health vs. my weight.

I'm completely and totally against shaming of *any* sort and I find it so hypocritical that an overweight person would perpetuate that sort of behavior (not saying I don't believe you, I do).

I'm not sure how I feel about the shaming part - like I said earlier, I've never been fat shamed. I'm starting to think it's because I never *expected* people to be mean to me because I was fat - so I didn't interpret their actions through that looking glass? I think if you expect people to treat you a certain way, it will happen - because you're looking for it and assigning their motives for them (does that make ANY sense?).

I don't know. I generally dislike people being made fun of or talked down to because of their looks - and that's happening in this thread a lot. I should just stay away, I know - but I feel compelled to speak up for people who don't have the guts to do so themselves. A lot of people on here are fat - and working hard to change that, and it might hit home.

^celebrate your health.

Fat shaming is wrong.

When it comes to close friends or family, and they are obese - I do confront them... I don't do it publicly, I don't do it meanly, I mention how I can relate.

One of my old best friends has a heroine problem... Kensington Philly is basically his hangout.. I saw he was slowly dying and becoming a depressed different person so I pulled him aside and respectfully told him that he has no idea of the consequences he will be facing because of the choices he is currently making. I then proceeded to tell him I am going to have to stay away from him and out of his life because I only surround myself with ppl I want to emulate and be more like.

My buddy just celebrated 3 months of sobriety.

I don't think anyone here has been 'fat shaming' ... this 'fat pride' thing though is a farce I don't think its wrong to be vocal about that.

PPL need to get thicker skin... ;P ...when confronted.

Also.. if your fat and healthy as I've said then call it "healthy pride" ... this 'fat pride' is perverting the meaning of the word.

_lyndseybrooke_

Yeah, they're proud of being fat but if they woke up one morning and they were suddenly slim and fit, I bet they wouldn't be complaining.

velvet_violence

You relate to them.... confrontationally?

TheVirgoddess

^celebrate your health.

Fat shaming is wrong.

When it comes to close friends or family, and they are obese - I do confront them... I don't do it publicly, I don't do it meanly, I mention how I can relate.

One of my old best friends has a heroine problem... Kensington Philly is basically his hangout.. I saw he was slowly dying and becoming a depressed different person so I pulled him aside and respectfully told him that he has no idea of the consequences he will be facing because of the choices he is currently making. I then proceeded to tell him I am going to have to stay away from him and out of his life because I only surround myself with ppl I want to emulate and be more like.

My buddy just celebrated 3 months of sobriety.

I don't think anyone here has been 'fat shaming' ... this 'fat pride' thing though is a farce I don't think its wrong to be vocal about that.

PPL need to get thicker skin... ;P ...when confronted.

Also.. if your fat and healthy as I've said then call it "healthy pride" ... this 'fat pride' is perverting the meaning of the word.

I do celebrate my health - while working my *kitten* off to make it even better.

I can see why someone would reach out and try to help a loved one, that makes sense to me.

I don't have "fat pride" - I just have pride. I'm a good person who has done some pretty amazing things - that's what I find pride in. Not everyone can though. Some people allow their weight to define them and have trouble finding their worth in other areas - that is what *I* think this stuff is all about. Not being proud that you're fat.

Also, you think people need thicker skin - I think people generally need to be kinder.

MrTolerable

You relate to them.... confrontationally?

mhm. I used to have substance abuse problems myself, they know I'm speaking from my heart when I confront them, but I am a blunt/direct person... this dancing around the subject nonsense doesn't work for me.

You confront the problem not the person- and I confront it hardcore... because I love the person and ABHOR the problem.

This is the case for obesity & substance abuse - both lead to depression, and once you are in a lifestyle of depression you get into a cycle of abuse.

AglaeaC

You relate to them.... confrontationally?

mhm. I used to have substance abuse problems myself, they know I'm speaking from my heart when I confront them, but I am a blunt/direct person... this dancing around the subject nonsense doesn't work for me.

You confront the problem not the person- and I confront it hardcore... because I love the person and ABHOR the problem.

This is the case for obesity & substance abuse - both lead to depression, and once you are in a lifestyle of depression you get into a cycle of abuse.

I'm fairly certain he surrounds himself with people, who get where he's coming from and who are similar to him personality-wise. Picking apart stuff or choosing a tiny detail to derail the main portion of his message is quite silly in my opinion. Earlier he stated that he doesn't confront anyone in public and when he does, he remains respectful and that's what I chose to read from his message. This was a comment to velvet.