How do you feel about fat pride?

velvet_violence

You relate to them.... confrontationally?

mhm. I used to have substance abuse problems myself, they know I'm speaking from my heart when I confront them, but I am a blunt/direct person... this dancing around the subject nonsense doesn't work for me.

You confront the problem not the person- and I confront it hardcore... because I love the person and ABHOR the problem.

This is the case for obesity & substance abuse - both lead to depression, and once you are in a lifestyle of depression you get into a cycle of abuse.

I'm fairly certain he surrounds himself with people, who get where he's coming from and who are similar to him personality-wise. Picking apart stuff or choosing a tiny detail to derail the main portion of his message is quite silly in my opinion. Earlier he stated that he doesn't confront anyone in public and when he does, he remains respectful and that's what I chose to read from his message. This was a comment to velvet.

It was an honest question about someone espousing their participation in two almost mutually exclusive actions.

MrTolerable

^celebrate your health.

Fat shaming is wrong.

When it comes to close friends or family, and they are obese - I do confront them... I don't do it publicly, I don't do it meanly, I mention how I can relate.

One of my old best friends has a heroine problem... Kensington Philly is basically his hangout.. I saw he was slowly dying and becoming a depressed different person so I pulled him aside and respectfully told him that he has no idea of the consequences he will be facing because of the choices he is currently making. I then proceeded to tell him I am going to have to stay away from him and out of his life because I only surround myself with ppl I want to emulate and be more like.

My buddy just celebrated 3 months of sobriety.

I don't think anyone here has been 'fat shaming' ... this 'fat pride' thing though is a farce I don't think its wrong to be vocal about that.

PPL need to get thicker skin... ;P ...when confronted.

Also.. if your fat and healthy as I've said then call it "healthy pride" ... this 'fat pride' is perverting the meaning of the word.

Also, you think people need thicker skin - I think people generally need to be kinder.

^maybe its a little of this and a lot of that.

I can work on coming across as kinder :flowerforyou:

"I don't have "fat pride" - I just have pride. I'm a good person who has done some pretty amazing things - that's what I find pride in. Not everyone can though. Some people allow their weight to define them and have trouble finding their worth in other areas - that is what *I* think this stuff is all about. Not being proud that you're fat. "

I think if someone defines themself by their weight, their is a serious lack of maturity... Character should of course be the highest measure of self-value... BUT I was just talking to a bunch of high schoolers in a near by school last week and said this - if you want to have success you have to label what you view success is.

for me its being beyond just financially secure, its having the frivolities that separates me from peers, the designer clothes, insane watch..

..finding the women that I can view as a partner/equal/teammate vrs just another girl..

constantly adapting, constantly being willing to learn and grow

and having character

^ but none of that can be achieved without SELF-CONTROL. - I drummed this into the kids imagination.. (rocking armani pants, Thomas Pink Dress shirt, and Hermes tie )

so I use that as a tell in all area's of my life.. self-control is paramount-once you can master yourself you can master anything.

Thats why I come across as tough, its because they may be a great person in all these area's lots of integrity, lots of loyalty, but with a lack of self-control its all meaningless.


happy to hear your a good person and done amazing things. ..I also think your a good person & your teaching me a thing or two on communication so keep it up! :drinker:

SunofaBeach14

It reminds me a bit of the claims by smokers that they're being oppressed by the anti-smoking movement. If it was simply to respond to body shaming and to encourage people to love themselves, I'd be completely supportive, but it goes beyond that into denying reality, and no being obese isn't healthy.

MrTolerable

You relate to them.... confrontationally?

mhm. I used to have substance abuse problems myself, they know I'm speaking from my heart when I confront them, but I am a blunt/direct person... this dancing around the subject nonsense doesn't work for me.

You confront the problem not the person- and I confront it hardcore... because I love the person and ABHOR the problem.

This is the case for obesity & substance abuse - both lead to depression, and once you are in a lifestyle of depression you get into a cycle of abuse.

I'm fairly certain he surrounds himself with people, who get where he's coming from and who are similar to him personality-wise. Picking apart stuff or choosing a tiny detail to derail the main portion of his message is quite silly in my opinion. Earlier he stated that he doesn't confront anyone in public and when he does, he remains respectful and that's what I chose to read from his message. This was a comment to velvet.

I used to be a drug addict, a terrible terrible person and its very embarrassing to look back on. I have friends all over the board, successful businessman, to former gang-bangers-and to this day I can relate to them all.
I LOVE people, and I'm direct but always respectful to them, publicly and privately.

On these forums I will work on coming across as showing more empathy.

MrTolerable

You relate to them.... confrontationally?

mhm. I used to have substance abuse problems myself, they know I'm speaking from my heart when I confront them, but I am a blunt/direct person... this dancing around the subject nonsense doesn't work for me.

You confront the problem not the person- and I confront it hardcore... because I love the person and ABHOR the problem.

This is the case for obesity & substance abuse - both lead to depression, and once you are in a lifestyle of depression you get into a cycle of abuse.

I'm fairly certain he surrounds himself with people, who get where he's coming from and who are similar to him personality-wise. Picking apart stuff or choosing a tiny detail to derail the main portion of his message is quite silly in my opinion. Earlier he stated that he doesn't confront anyone in public and when he does, he remains respectful and that's what I chose to read from his message. This was a comment to velvet.

It was an honest question about someone espousing their participation in two almost mutually exclusive actions.

'mutually exclusive actions' ... You can attack a problem and be highly confrontational... I do it every day at work... all the while I still treat the other person with respect and dignity - they are a human being after-all.

Conflict-management 101..

loisdsnow

I am all for people being accepted regardless of their size. I try not to be a judgmental person because that is how I would want to be treated. I am not happy with how I look but my size doesn't define who I am. So, if there are some that feel that need extra acceptance for their size, so be it. For me, pride comes in what I can do to make myself a better person, inside and out. ijs

TheVirgoddess

It reminds me a bit of the claims by smokers that they're being oppressed by the anti-smoking movement. If it was simply to respond to body shaming and to encourage people to love themselves, I'd be completely supportive, but it goes beyond that into denying reality, and no being obese isn't healthy.

I agree with you (as a recent quitter) - but where do you see these people denying reality? (this is a genuine question - all I've done is read the article in the OP and I'm curious, especially since I've been defending it the whole time thinking it was just encouragement)

lavendah

I believe that if someone is 'okay' being fat and is unwilling to change,there is no need to tear them DOWN because of that.Eventually,they're only harming their own selves (or mostly...in before taxes for healthcare expenditure). Also,a lot of people actually do have hormonal/genetic problems too.

HOWEVER, if they're really trying to convince people that obesity is not a severely unhealthy state (or worse,some people,especially women trying to convince people that they should be considered as attractive as fitter girls - like natural preference can even be impacted by some 'movement') then I'm NOT having it.

Not trash you because it's your choice? OKAY. Consider you healthy and attractive? GTFO.

Basically,that 'movement' seems BS to me.

SunofaBeach14

It reminds me a bit of the claims by smokers that they're being oppressed by the anti-smoking movement. If it was simply to respond to body shaming and to encourage people to love themselves, I'd be completely supportive, but it goes beyond that into denying reality, and no being obese isn't healthy.

I agree with you (as a recent quitter) - but where do you see these people denying reality? (this is a genuine question - all I've done is read the article in the OP and I'm curious, especially since I've been defending it the whole time thinking it was just encouragement)

Being obese is healthy? It's not even reasonably debatable

AglaeaC

Just don't ask me to pay for "accepting" your lifestyle. By that I mean I don't want to be asked, through my taxes, to fund your healthcare because of your lifestyle.

Goes for all the COPD patients, too. Most are there because of their own choices.

TheVirgoddess

It reminds me a bit of the claims by smokers that they're being oppressed by the anti-smoking movement. If it was simply to respond to body shaming and to encourage people to love themselves, I'd be completely supportive, but it goes beyond that into denying reality, and no being obese isn't healthy.

I agree with you (as a recent quitter) - but where do you see these people denying reality? (this is a genuine question - all I've done is read the article in the OP and I'm curious, especially since I've been defending it the whole time thinking it was just encouragement)

Being obese is healthy? It's not even reasonably debatable

Er no - not that part.

I must have misunderstood your post, disregard.

MrTolerable

Just don't ask me to pay for "accepting" your lifestyle. By that I mean I don't want to be asked, through my taxes, to fund your healthcare because of your lifestyle.

^if there is one good thing.. at lest now preventive care is something I literally have to partake in because I literally can't fit being sick into my budget...

...clothes&beingfit>ickylifestyle&doctorappointments

#andimnotevenarepublican

LassoOfTruth

Fat pride is stupid, and idiotic.

BODY acceptance is a great movement. No matter the size, shape, height, color, etc of your BODY, you should be proud of it.

SunofaBeach14

It reminds me a bit of the claims by smokers that they're being oppressed by the anti-smoking movement. If it was simply to respond to body shaming and to encourage people to love themselves, I'd be completely supportive, but it goes beyond that into denying reality, and no being obese isn't healthy.

I agree with you (as a recent quitter) - but where do you see these people denying reality? (this is a genuine question - all I've done is read the article in the OP and I'm curious, especially since I've been defending it the whole time thinking it was just encouragement)

Being obese is healthy? It's not even reasonably debatable

Er no - not that part.

I must have misunderstood your post, disregard.

Again, if it's solely about self love then I'm very much for it, if for no other reason that it is through the love of ourselves that we seek to change what we can about ourselves that causes us pain or illness. My issue is that it seems to me that by denying the reality of the health risks it becomes an excuse not to change.

TheVirgoddess

Again, if it's solely about self love then I'm very much for it, if for no other reason that it is through the love of ourselves that we seek to change what we can about ourselves that causes us pain or illness. My issue is that it seems to me that by denying the reality of the health risks it becomes an excuse not to change.

Yeah, I totally agree with you - I just really read your initial post wrong. It was clear, my comprehension just sucked.

SunofaBeach14

Just don't ask me to pay for "accepting" your lifestyle. By that I mean I don't want to be asked, through my taxes, to fund your healthcare because of your lifestyle.

That's not your choice to make. It's the balance struck in the bargain between a free society in the sense of individual rights and modern socialism that gives people some basic security. Many people's bad decisions are ultimately subsidized by others.

JTUSAFRet

Many people's bad decisions are ultimately subsidized by others.

This is the most profound statement I have read on MFP!