what mean/thoughtless comment has been said to you before?
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I think the only thing anyone ever said about my weight when I was fat wa this: I had a female friend once grab my chest and squeeze and say "Jesus, you've got bigger titties than I do. I'm jeaous!!" ... in public, in front of a group of people. I had never been so utterly humiliated in my entire life. But I got over it pretty quick.
The one thing that was ever said about me being that that truly cut me to the core though, happened to me when I was skinny. I had lost 70lbs and was in the 180-185 range. And I was really super in love with the woman I was dating at the time ... and one day she said to me "God, I'm glad we met when you were thin ... because I've seen those fat pictures of you, and honestly, I wouldn't have given you a second glance. Just not attractive at all."
I think I actually excused myself to the bathroom and cried a little. To have someone that I was so in love with tell me, straight to my face, how fundamentally unattractive they thought I had been for most of my life ... it didn't matter that she found me attractive now, because even though I was thin then, I had been fat forever. And that **** hurt beyond words.0 -
I dont understand why people get so upset when they get called fat, when they are indeed fat. I am 5'4 and 256 pounds. I know im fat. If someone were to come up to me and say You are fat, I would look at them and say no **** captain obvious. I understand there are more hurtful ways of saying it, but if you are indeed fat, then it is what it is.
I'd counter by saying - Im not sure why anyone would then feel the need to point out someone is fat. If we indeed all know - then does hurling an insult from a moving car help?
There are plenty of things that people are - and know they are (different races, speech impediment, different religions, dress horribly, poor, mentally ill, developmentally challenged, ugly, scars, etc...) and it would be rude as **** to point that **** out to their face in most cases.
A concerned family member is one thing - but random idiots - hell to the nah.0 -
The one thing that was ever said about me being that that truly cut me to the core though, happened to me when I was skinny. I had lost 70lbs and was in the 180-185 range. And I was really super in love with the woman I was dating at the time ... and one day she said to me "God, I'm glad we met when you were thin ... because I've seen those fat pictures of you, and honestly, I wouldn't have given you a second glance. Just not attractive at all."
I'm not too sure what to make of this to be honest. What people find attractive is very personal. Is it wrong for her to be not be physically attracted to big guys?
I love my wife's smile, her hair, her figure, her natural beauty - how would I feel if I saw a photo of her during a 'Punk/Goth phase' and wore thick black makeup, never smiled, shaved her hair into a Mohican, wore shapeless black frocks to cover her body that I thought was too skinny, and had hairy legs because she wasn't interested in shaving them? Just because I find her very attractive now - does that mean I have to find her attractive previously?
(She didn't really look like that when she was younger by the way!)0 -
If you lost some weight, you could get the guy you want.
Guess what? 40 pounds makes a difference. I got the guy I want! He told me the other day... I never thought you were ugly. I thought you were fat.
Um, that wouldn't be the guy I wanted. Any guy who thought I wasn't worth the time because I was fat isn't worth *my* time.
It wasn't actually he who said it. It was someone else. But my guy I am with now ultimately did not like me enough the first time because of my weight.0 -
I'm not too sure what to make of this to be honest. What people find attractive is very personal. Is it wrong for her to be not be physically attracted to big guys?
Nope, she never had to find me attractive back then at all. But why say that to me? I mean, seriously ... "I sure like ya now, but thank christ you don't look like a ****ing uggo behemoth anymore, amiright??"
I'd been fat since I was a small child ... and finally, after 28 years, I was in a place where I was in great shape, and someone that I truly loved say something that was literally about how ugly I had been for my entire life.
I guess if you don't know what to make of that ... that's on you.0 -
When my dad met my boyfriend for the first time, he said "You a chubby chaser, then?" Thanks, dad. (A man who isn't exactly an Adonis...)0
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I'm not too sure what to make of this to be honest. What people find attractive is very personal. Is it wrong for her to be not be physically attracted to big guys?
Nope, she never had to find me attractive back then at all. But why say that to me? I mean, seriously ... "I sure like ya now, but thank christ you don't look like a ****ing uggo behemoth anymore, amiright??"
I'd been fat since I was a small child ... and finally, after 28 years, I was in a place where I was in great shape, and someone that I truly loved say something that was literally about how ugly I had been for my entire life.
I guess if you don't know what to make of that ... that's on you.
It was a pretty damn insensitive thing to say. For funsies you should post the exact same thing in a new thread but reverse the genders and stand back and watch the onslaught of negative comments about how insensitive men are. Okay, don't do that, but you get the point.0 -
I'm not too sure what to make of this to be honest. What people find attractive is very personal. Is it wrong for her to be not be physically attracted to big guys?
Nope, she never had to find me attractive back then at all. But why say that to me? I mean, seriously ... "I sure like ya now, but thank christ you don't look like a ****ing uggo behemoth anymore, amiright??"
I'd been fat since I was a small child ... and finally, after 28 years, I was in a place where I was in great shape, and someone that I truly loved say something that was literally about how ugly I had been for my entire life.
I guess if you don't know what to make of that ... that's on you.
Yeah that's different to how I read it - you wasn't offended by what she thought, but rather that she said it to you. I can see that would be hard to hear0 -
I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.
Just for education purposes; as you were overweight/obese (as per the OP), if he had noticed, what should he have said?
1) Yes, but you still look great
2) Lied and said "No"
3) Well you've possibly gained a few pounds
4) Changed the subject
All of those are better than just a plain yes. Lol Personally, I think 1 & 3 would be the best answers. Honest, yet the blow is softened.0 -
I was compare to the nanny from Count Duckula when I was walking out of my office one day. The guy who said it got alot of laughs from the 5 other guys in the room. I didnt know what he meant until I googled it. I cried. Still hurtful to this day when I think about it0
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Perhaps I'm not being clear. It's not been a very good day for me at all, and I am struggling right now.
I never meant that all women who ask how they look are automatically fishing for compliments. I just meant that asking "am I fat?" is a loaded and unfair question - if you're not willing to hear the truth.
But apparently that was all a joke that I'm too dumb to get and though I have incredibly thick skin, sitting in the surgical waiting room and then by my mom's hospital bed all day has worn me out to the point that comments in this thread have brought me to tears, and the internet isn't worth crying over, so I'll bow out.
Sorry to hear that,
Thank you.
I came back to generally apologize for being a d*ck on this thread. I had no business being on the internet last night and it showed. I was genuinely trying to give my opinion but it came out pretty self righteous and obnoxious. So, I'm sorry.0 -
If someone truly loves you, they wouldn't want to change a thing about you. Period. When I love someone, I love them for everything they are. If they medically obese, I'll tell them that, but either way I'll still find them absolutely freakin attractive, because I love them! All I want is for the person I love to be happy and healthy. If they're not at the weight they should be, health-wise, I'll let them know if they ask, because I care about them and want them to live their longest life possible. But if they're happy the way they are, who am I to stop them?
To everyone out there trying to lose, gain, or maintain weight, please listen to this: you should be doing this FOR YOU. Not for some girl or guy. Not for your family or friends. Not for anyone else, but you.
Agreed. My only concern would be for health/medical reasons.0 -
Perhaps I'm not being clear. It's not been a very good day for me at all, and I am struggling right now.
I never meant that all women who ask how they look are automatically fishing for compliments. I just meant that asking "am I fat?" is a loaded and unfair question - if you're not willing to hear the truth.
But apparently that was all a joke that I'm too dumb to get and though I have incredibly thick skin, sitting in the surgical waiting room and then by my mom's hospital bed all day has worn me out to the point that comments in this thread have brought me to tears, and the internet isn't worth crying over, so I'll bow out.
Sorry to hear that,
Thank you.
I came back to generally apologize for being a d*ck on this thread. I had no business being on the internet last night and it showed. I was genuinely trying to give my opinion but it came out pretty self righteous and obnoxious. So, I'm sorry.
Everyone has a bad day. Kudos for being so honest0 -
What a horrible thread. I prefer not to relive the ****ty things that have been said to me, or anyone else.
I'm out
I agree.0 -
Perhaps I'm not being clear. It's not been a very good day for me at all, and I am struggling right now.
I never meant that all women who ask how they look are automatically fishing for compliments. I just meant that asking "am I fat?" is a loaded and unfair question - if you're not willing to hear the truth.
But apparently that was all a joke that I'm too dumb to get and though I have incredibly thick skin, sitting in the surgical waiting room and then by my mom's hospital bed all day has worn me out to the point that comments in this thread have brought me to tears, and the internet isn't worth crying over, so I'll bow out.
Sorry to hear that,
Thank you.
I came back to generally apologize for being a d*ck on this thread. I had no business being on the internet last night and it showed. I was genuinely trying to give my opinion but it came out pretty self righteous and obnoxious. So, I'm sorry.
*hugs* sorry for your hard time, and ALL the kudos for coming back and saying you're sorry ( whether warranted or jot, I've not read the whole thread)0 -
Perhaps I'm not being clear. It's not been a very good day for me at all, and I am struggling right now.
I never meant that all women who ask how they look are automatically fishing for compliments. I just meant that asking "am I fat?" is a loaded and unfair question - if you're not willing to hear the truth.
But apparently that was all a joke that I'm too dumb to get and though I have incredibly thick skin, sitting in the surgical waiting room and then by my mom's hospital bed all day has worn me out to the point that comments in this thread have brought me to tears, and the internet isn't worth crying over, so I'll bow out.
Sorry to hear that,
Thank you.
I came back to generally apologize for being a d*ck on this thread. I had no business being on the internet last night and it showed. I was genuinely trying to give my opinion but it came out pretty self righteous and obnoxious. So, I'm sorry.
Everyone has a bad day. Kudos for being so honest
This.
I've done it. I'll bet a lot of us have.0 -
Perhaps I'm not being clear. It's not been a very good day for me at all, and I am struggling right now.
I never meant that all women who ask how they look are automatically fishing for compliments. I just meant that asking "am I fat?" is a loaded and unfair question - if you're not willing to hear the truth.
But apparently that was all a joke that I'm too dumb to get and though I have incredibly thick skin, sitting in the surgical waiting room and then by my mom's hospital bed all day has worn me out to the point that comments in this thread have brought me to tears, and the internet isn't worth crying over, so I'll bow out.
Sorry to hear that,
Thank you.
I came back to generally apologize for being a d*ck on this thread. I had no business being on the internet last night and it showed. I was genuinely trying to give my opinion but it came out pretty self righteous and obnoxious. So, I'm sorry.
Everyone has a bad day. Kudos for being so honest
This.
I've done it. I'll bet a lot of us have.
Yes, me too.0 -
I'm not too sure what to make of this to be honest. What people find attractive is very personal. Is it wrong for her to be not be physically attracted to big guys?
Nope, she never had to find me attractive back then at all. But why say that to me? I mean, seriously ... "I sure like ya now, but thank christ you don't look like a ****ing uggo behemoth anymore, amiright??"
I'd been fat since I was a small child ... and finally, after 28 years, I was in a place where I was in great shape, and someone that I truly loved say something that was literally about how ugly I had been for my entire life.
I guess if you don't know what to make of that ... that's on you.
It was an awful thing to say. I can't even comprehend what would motivate someone to say that and not realize how hurtful it would be to a partner. Some people aren't very bright I guess.0 -
I had finished using the gym and was getting ready to get into sauna. One woman asked, "r u a zebra to have so many stripes." She was referring to the stretch marks on my shoulders and upper back. Her friends laughed. Now I cover up all my 'stripes' at all times
Wow! What is wrong with people!!! I'm sorry you feel you have to cover up because of them.0 -
I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.
You asked your husband a question and he answered honestly. I've never understood why women get so mad about this.
Honesty is never the proper answer. Women are far too hysterical to be told the truth
yup!!
anyone who doesn't know that is merely still immature, or single haha0
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