what mean/thoughtless comment has been said to you before?

Cranquistador

Seriously? How about not setting your partner up for failure. Either he lies to you, or he's honest - either answer is wrong.

I don't ask my husband how I look, or how a piece of clothing makes a part of my body look - that's what mirrors are for. If, on the other hand, I need reassurance or a compliment, I tell him.

I am vehemently against demanding the impossible of a partner.

Really? You say to your husband "I need a compliment"?

Instead of blindly fishing for one? Yes. Not in those exact words, but yes. I don't see how this isn't preferable for both parties. *shrug*

I'm probably getting it all wrong then

If my wife asks me how she looks then I don't take it as she is blindly fishing for compliments, but is genuinely asking for my opinion.

I would reply honestly whether it's "Oh wow you look great, I love your hair like that" Or "Hmm I'm not a big fan of dungarees"

Perhaps I'm not being clear. It's not been a very good day for me at all, and I am struggling right now.

I never meant that all women who ask how they look are automatically fishing for compliments. I just meant that asking "am I fat?" is a loaded and unfair question - if you're not willing to hear the truth.

But apparently that was all a joke that I'm too dumb to get and though I have incredibly thick skin, sitting in the surgical waiting room and then by my mom's hospital bed all day has worn me out to the point that comments in this thread have brought me to tears, and the internet isn't worth crying over, so I'll bow out.

I think that is a good idea.

Wonderob

Perhaps I'm not being clear. It's not been a very good day for me at all, and I am struggling right now.

I never meant that all women who ask how they look are automatically fishing for compliments. I just meant that asking "am I fat?" is a loaded and unfair question - if you're not willing to hear the truth.

But apparently that was all a joke that I'm too dumb to get and though I have incredibly thick skin, sitting in the surgical waiting room and then by my mom's hospital bed all day has worn me out to the point that comments in this thread have brought me to tears, and the internet isn't worth crying over, so I'll bow out.

Sorry to hear that,

stephanne13

"I'll never love you deeply because you don't have nice legs". That was from a bf.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

Seriously? How about not setting your partner up for failure. Either he lies to you, or he's honest - either answer is wrong.

I don't ask my husband how I look, or how a piece of clothing makes a part of my body look - that's what mirrors are for. If, on the other hand, I need reassurance or a compliment, I tell him.

I am vehemently against demanding the impossible of a partner.

Really? You say to your husband "I need a compliment"?

Instead of blindly fishing for one? Yes. Not in those exact words, but yes. I don't see how this isn't preferable for both parties. *shrug*

I'm probably getting it all wrong then

If my wife asks me how she looks then I don't take it as she is blindly fishing for compliments, but is genuinely asking for my opinion.

I would reply honestly whether it's "Oh wow you look great, I love your hair like that" Or "Hmm I'm not a big fan of dungarees"

Perhaps I'm not being clear. It's not been a very good day for me at all, and I am struggling right now.

I never meant that all women who ask how they look are automatically fishing for compliments. I just meant that asking "am I fat?" is a loaded and unfair question - if you're not willing to hear the truth.

But apparently that was all a joke that I'm too dumb to get and though I have incredibly thick skin, sitting in the surgical waiting room and then by my mom's hospital bed all day has worn me out to the point that comments in this thread have brought me to tears, and the internet isn't worth crying over, so I'll bow out.

I think that is a good idea.

x2

Wonderob

"I'll never love you deeply because you don't have nice legs". That was from a bf.

Did he follow that with "I want you, I need you; but there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you.
Now don't be sad, 'cause two out of three ain't bad"???

Watermelon_Crush

"I'll never love you deeply because you don't have nice legs". That was from a bf.

Did he follow that with "I want you, I need you; but there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you.
Now don't be sad, 'cause two out of three ain't bad"???

Now that would be ironic as, if he had, that would make him Meatloaf....

stephanne13

That's hysterical..lol

Wonderob

"I'll never love you deeply because you don't have nice legs". That was from a bf.

Did he follow that with "I want you, I need you; but there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you.
Now don't be sad, 'cause two out of three ain't bad"???

Now that would be ironic as, if he had, that would make him Meatloaf....

No apparently ironic is having ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife

anphi14

I've never been overweight until last year when I was slightly over the "healthy" mark for my height (5'0'') I've always struggled though with body image issues and I remember at my senior prom this girl who targeted me for no reason the whole school year screamed to me at post prom (she was really drunk) "LOOK ITS THE SHORT, STUBBY *****"

rebprest

I think when a lot of people tell you to stop losing weight or say you seem to be getting anorexic it's usually because for whatever reason, your weight loss makes them insecure. Some people can't see others succeed without feeling like failures. I won't lie, when my friend lost 50 lbs I was happy for them, but I had a LOT of jealousy about it. It can also be hard to distinguish the line between very fit/slender and too skinny so maybe it's a bit of both?

gypsy_spirit

"I'll never love you deeply because you don't have nice legs". That was from a bf.

Did he follow that with "I want you, I need you; but there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you.
Now don't be sad, 'cause two out of three ain't bad"???

Now that would be ironic as, if he had, that would make him Meatloaf....

No apparently ironic is having ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife

Ah, we have now come full circle.

SugaryLynx

Hardest moment for me was Easter egg hunting with my then 2 year old and having a 5 year old ask me why I was so fat. He then turns to his mother and asks why I eat so much. She was embarrassed and did scold him but it was on front of everyone to hear. It was positively humiliating.

Watermelon_Crush

That's hysterical..lol

By the way, I'm sure you have very lovely legs. You have a very lovely smile. Ignore the moron.

Siigh_duck

'' Me and sam were talking, and we think you'd be super hot if you were thin ''

thursdaystgiles

I was in NYC on my honeymoon and I'd been working out/dieting, etc. It was mid-afternoon and because we'd been running around, I hadn't eaten anything. My wife had grabbed a donut at the free breakfast in the hotel that morning and it was in the purse, so I went for it. Normally wouldn't eat one anyway, but I was starving and we'd been walking all over the city all day. Some random guy walking by on the street said "maybe you should have gone for something lower calorie" giving me an up and down look.

Also, doing c25, on week 4. Finished running and I was doing my 5 minute cooldown, and some guy out walking his dog was like "I think you need to keep up the pace."

**** you guys.

Oi_Sunshine

"I'll never love you deeply because you don't have nice legs". That was from a bf.

The answer to this is "Oh, I'm positive you'll never love deeply, but it has nothing to do with my legs."

sharris1020

No one ever said anything to my face about my weight when I was heavy. But as I begain to lose the weight someone told me that I looked horable, and that i looked like I was on crack. I was surprised how some people reacted so negitivily to my weight loss. Despite people seeing me walk my *kitten* off, they still made comments and spectulations of me doing negitive and unhealthy things to achieve my weight loss. There are a lot of miserable, classless, and down right mean people in this world, so just ignore them, and stay on track.

MarliQQ

When I was in 3X clothing, a lot of fellow fat women would say things to me that I felt were insulting or hurtful. Basically saying, "women like us can't do that" or "us big girls gotta get our fried chicken"...just bizarre if you ask me. Especially when they were strangers to me! I didn't mind it QUITE as badly if it was someone I actually knew.

^^ this.

Coming out of a class with a bunch of a classmates once, I had this guy proclaiming his recent weight loss success and making jokes for all to hear. He reaches a point where he states that he was excited that his thighs didn't rub anymore. He proceeded to nudge me with his elbow and said "Sucks doesn't it?"--with a cocky *kitten* grin. I remember toying in my mind with violence...

nyiballs

Not mean per se, but little kids truly have the power to cut thru the crap and see it like it is,

Chalk me up on the list of people who had a child point to me and say that I was fat.

fatcity66

"I'll never love you deeply because you don't have nice legs". That was from a bf.

Wow, and that's when you thank your lucky stars...