what mean/thoughtless comment has been said to you before?
Replies
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I dont understand why people get so upset when they get called fat, when they are indeed fat.
Being fat is seen as a flaw and it's hurtful and rude to point that out to someone - doesn't make it any easier that they are probably more aware of it than anyone.
You wouldn't tell someone that they had a big nose, or crooked eyes or bad teeth, just as you shouldn't tell then that they are fat!
However..... If you are put on the spot as per some suggestions on here. i.e "Do you think I'm fat?" Then that's a different matter I guess0 -
I dont understand why people get so upset when they get called fat, when they are indeed fat. I am 5'4 and 256 pounds. I know im fat. If someone were to come up to me and say You are fat, I would look at them and say no **** captain obvious. I understand there are more hurtful ways of saying it, but if you are indeed fat, then it is what it is. that being said what go to me was my grandmother. she would always say something about my weight and me eating, which never really bothered me until i actually tried to lose weight, and then it pissed me off. she knew that i was trying. i was passed a box of chocolates and took one and was about to pass it on when she said, better take the box away from her before she eats them all. it pissed me off because she knew damn well that i had been trying to lose weight. at that point i had lost 15 pounds and was feeling good about it.
Some people are more sensitive than others about certain issues. That's why it's best to hold one's tongue around strangers and mixed company and, on the other hand, to not internalize what other people say.0 -
When I was about 13-14 years old, I was vacationing on a beach, where I over heard two teenage boys whom I thought were kind-of 'cute' say: "Here comes thunder thighs!" - referring to me.
Hence, my ED began....and has been with me until now (I'm 47!)0 -
What comes out of other people's mouths always has more to do with them and the filter they see the world thru than it ever does with you. But I'm still shocked at some of these stories.
This is very true and I try to remind myself of that when the thoughtless and rude comments come my way.0 -
'Oh look, a plump girl', from a random old woman when walking down the street, about 15 years ago. Still rankles.
Some idiot chav girls in a horrible pink stretch limo in Nottingham late one night who rolled down the window to shout 'FAT' at me!
There are so many others I won't even bother...0 -
My grandmother (said mid-Summer) - "When the weather cools down, I'll take you clothes shopping. With any luck, you'll have lost some weight by then, so you can buy something nice for once"
I was a size 12 at the time, lol.0 -
If someone truly loves you, they wouldn't want to change a thing about you. Period.
Except underwear, change that at least once a week.0 -
Eh, I don't want to memorialize that thoughtless comment on the forums.0
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If someone truly loves you, they wouldn't want to change a thing about you. Period. When I love someone, I love them for everything they are. If they medically obese, I'll tell them that, but either way I'll still find them absolutely freakin attractive, because I love them! All I want is for the person I love to be happy and healthy. If they're not at the weight they should be, health-wise, I'll let them know if they ask, because I care about them and want them to live their longest life possible. But if they're happy the way they are, who am I to stop them?
To everyone out there trying to lose, gain, or maintain weight, please listen to this: you should be doing this FOR YOU. Not for some girl or guy. Not for your family or friends. Not for anyone else, but you.
I totally agree. Family and friends should never encourage change because they "wouldn't want to change a thing about you. Period." We should stop pushing our children to work harder in school, stop pushing troubled family members to stop drinking or using drugs, stop pushing husbands and wives to gain/lose weight even if the doctor says so, and definitely stop encouraging husbands and wives to change career paths. :flowerforyou:0 -
Um, that wouldn't be the guy I wanted. Any guy who thought I wasn't worth the time because I was fat isn't worth *my* time.
The last guy I dated was constantly making comments about women's appearances - either how "hot" some actress was or how some woman "wasn't even attractive". It was the first thing he would say about any woman even if the topic of conversation had nothing to do with appearances. It was a complete turnoff, especially when he made comments about pregnant women's weight gain. I dumped him. No desire to be with someone who views the world that way.0 -
I think the only thing anyone ever said about my weight when I was fat wa this: I had a female friend once grab my chest and squeeze and say "Jesus, you've got bigger titties than I do. I'm jeaous!!" ... in public, in front of a group of people. I had never been so utterly humiliated in my entire life. But I got over it pretty quick.
The one thing that was ever said about me being that that truly cut me to the core though, happened to me when I was skinny. I had lost 70lbs and was in the 180-185 range. And I was really super in love with the woman I was dating at the time ... and one day she said to me "God, I'm glad we met when you were thin ... because I've seen those fat pictures of you, and honestly, I wouldn't have given you a second glance. Just not attractive at all."
I think I actually excused myself to the bathroom and cried a little. To have someone that I was so in love with tell me, straight to my face, how fundamentally unattractive they thought I had been for most of my life ... it didn't matter that she found me attractive now, because even though I was thin then, I had been fat forever. And that **** hurt beyond words.0 -
I dont understand why people get so upset when they get called fat, when they are indeed fat. I am 5'4 and 256 pounds. I know im fat. If someone were to come up to me and say You are fat, I would look at them and say no **** captain obvious. I understand there are more hurtful ways of saying it, but if you are indeed fat, then it is what it is.
I'd counter by saying - Im not sure why anyone would then feel the need to point out someone is fat. If we indeed all know - then does hurling an insult from a moving car help?
There are plenty of things that people are - and know they are (different races, speech impediment, different religions, dress horribly, poor, mentally ill, developmentally challenged, ugly, scars, etc...) and it would be rude as **** to point that **** out to their face in most cases.
A concerned family member is one thing - but random idiots - hell to the nah.0 -
The one thing that was ever said about me being that that truly cut me to the core though, happened to me when I was skinny. I had lost 70lbs and was in the 180-185 range. And I was really super in love with the woman I was dating at the time ... and one day she said to me "God, I'm glad we met when you were thin ... because I've seen those fat pictures of you, and honestly, I wouldn't have given you a second glance. Just not attractive at all."
I'm not too sure what to make of this to be honest. What people find attractive is very personal. Is it wrong for her to be not be physically attracted to big guys?
I love my wife's smile, her hair, her figure, her natural beauty - how would I feel if I saw a photo of her during a 'Punk/Goth phase' and wore thick black makeup, never smiled, shaved her hair into a Mohican, wore shapeless black frocks to cover her body that I thought was too skinny, and had hairy legs because she wasn't interested in shaving them? Just because I find her very attractive now - does that mean I have to find her attractive previously?
(She didn't really look like that when she was younger by the way!)0 -
If you lost some weight, you could get the guy you want.
Guess what? 40 pounds makes a difference. I got the guy I want! He told me the other day... I never thought you were ugly. I thought you were fat.
Um, that wouldn't be the guy I wanted. Any guy who thought I wasn't worth the time because I was fat isn't worth *my* time.
It wasn't actually he who said it. It was someone else. But my guy I am with now ultimately did not like me enough the first time because of my weight.0 -
I'm not too sure what to make of this to be honest. What people find attractive is very personal. Is it wrong for her to be not be physically attracted to big guys?
Nope, she never had to find me attractive back then at all. But why say that to me? I mean, seriously ... "I sure like ya now, but thank christ you don't look like a ****ing uggo behemoth anymore, amiright??"
I'd been fat since I was a small child ... and finally, after 28 years, I was in a place where I was in great shape, and someone that I truly loved say something that was literally about how ugly I had been for my entire life.
I guess if you don't know what to make of that ... that's on you.0 -
When my dad met my boyfriend for the first time, he said "You a chubby chaser, then?" Thanks, dad. (A man who isn't exactly an Adonis...)0
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I'm not too sure what to make of this to be honest. What people find attractive is very personal. Is it wrong for her to be not be physically attracted to big guys?
Nope, she never had to find me attractive back then at all. But why say that to me? I mean, seriously ... "I sure like ya now, but thank christ you don't look like a ****ing uggo behemoth anymore, amiright??"
I'd been fat since I was a small child ... and finally, after 28 years, I was in a place where I was in great shape, and someone that I truly loved say something that was literally about how ugly I had been for my entire life.
I guess if you don't know what to make of that ... that's on you.
It was a pretty damn insensitive thing to say. For funsies you should post the exact same thing in a new thread but reverse the genders and stand back and watch the onslaught of negative comments about how insensitive men are. Okay, don't do that, but you get the point.0 -
I'm not too sure what to make of this to be honest. What people find attractive is very personal. Is it wrong for her to be not be physically attracted to big guys?
Nope, she never had to find me attractive back then at all. But why say that to me? I mean, seriously ... "I sure like ya now, but thank christ you don't look like a ****ing uggo behemoth anymore, amiright??"
I'd been fat since I was a small child ... and finally, after 28 years, I was in a place where I was in great shape, and someone that I truly loved say something that was literally about how ugly I had been for my entire life.
I guess if you don't know what to make of that ... that's on you.
Yeah that's different to how I read it - you wasn't offended by what she thought, but rather that she said it to you. I can see that would be hard to hear0 -
I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.
Just for education purposes; as you were overweight/obese (as per the OP), if he had noticed, what should he have said?
1) Yes, but you still look great
2) Lied and said "No"
3) Well you've possibly gained a few pounds
4) Changed the subject
All of those are better than just a plain yes. Lol Personally, I think 1 & 3 would be the best answers. Honest, yet the blow is softened.0 -
I was compare to the nanny from Count Duckula when I was walking out of my office one day. The guy who said it got alot of laughs from the 5 other guys in the room. I didnt know what he meant until I googled it. I cried. Still hurtful to this day when I think about it0
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Perhaps I'm not being clear. It's not been a very good day for me at all, and I am struggling right now.
I never meant that all women who ask how they look are automatically fishing for compliments. I just meant that asking "am I fat?" is a loaded and unfair question - if you're not willing to hear the truth.
But apparently that was all a joke that I'm too dumb to get and though I have incredibly thick skin, sitting in the surgical waiting room and then by my mom's hospital bed all day has worn me out to the point that comments in this thread have brought me to tears, and the internet isn't worth crying over, so I'll bow out.
Sorry to hear that,
Thank you.
I came back to generally apologize for being a d*ck on this thread. I had no business being on the internet last night and it showed. I was genuinely trying to give my opinion but it came out pretty self righteous and obnoxious. So, I'm sorry.0 -
If someone truly loves you, they wouldn't want to change a thing about you. Period. When I love someone, I love them for everything they are. If they medically obese, I'll tell them that, but either way I'll still find them absolutely freakin attractive, because I love them! All I want is for the person I love to be happy and healthy. If they're not at the weight they should be, health-wise, I'll let them know if they ask, because I care about them and want them to live their longest life possible. But if they're happy the way they are, who am I to stop them?
To everyone out there trying to lose, gain, or maintain weight, please listen to this: you should be doing this FOR YOU. Not for some girl or guy. Not for your family or friends. Not for anyone else, but you.
Agreed. My only concern would be for health/medical reasons.0 -
Perhaps I'm not being clear. It's not been a very good day for me at all, and I am struggling right now.
I never meant that all women who ask how they look are automatically fishing for compliments. I just meant that asking "am I fat?" is a loaded and unfair question - if you're not willing to hear the truth.
But apparently that was all a joke that I'm too dumb to get and though I have incredibly thick skin, sitting in the surgical waiting room and then by my mom's hospital bed all day has worn me out to the point that comments in this thread have brought me to tears, and the internet isn't worth crying over, so I'll bow out.
Sorry to hear that,
Thank you.
I came back to generally apologize for being a d*ck on this thread. I had no business being on the internet last night and it showed. I was genuinely trying to give my opinion but it came out pretty self righteous and obnoxious. So, I'm sorry.
Everyone has a bad day. Kudos for being so honest0 -
What a horrible thread. I prefer not to relive the ****ty things that have been said to me, or anyone else.
I'm out
I agree.0 -
Perhaps I'm not being clear. It's not been a very good day for me at all, and I am struggling right now.
I never meant that all women who ask how they look are automatically fishing for compliments. I just meant that asking "am I fat?" is a loaded and unfair question - if you're not willing to hear the truth.
But apparently that was all a joke that I'm too dumb to get and though I have incredibly thick skin, sitting in the surgical waiting room and then by my mom's hospital bed all day has worn me out to the point that comments in this thread have brought me to tears, and the internet isn't worth crying over, so I'll bow out.
Sorry to hear that,
Thank you.
I came back to generally apologize for being a d*ck on this thread. I had no business being on the internet last night and it showed. I was genuinely trying to give my opinion but it came out pretty self righteous and obnoxious. So, I'm sorry.
*hugs* sorry for your hard time, and ALL the kudos for coming back and saying you're sorry ( whether warranted or jot, I've not read the whole thread)0 -
Perhaps I'm not being clear. It's not been a very good day for me at all, and I am struggling right now.
I never meant that all women who ask how they look are automatically fishing for compliments. I just meant that asking "am I fat?" is a loaded and unfair question - if you're not willing to hear the truth.
But apparently that was all a joke that I'm too dumb to get and though I have incredibly thick skin, sitting in the surgical waiting room and then by my mom's hospital bed all day has worn me out to the point that comments in this thread have brought me to tears, and the internet isn't worth crying over, so I'll bow out.
Sorry to hear that,
Thank you.
I came back to generally apologize for being a d*ck on this thread. I had no business being on the internet last night and it showed. I was genuinely trying to give my opinion but it came out pretty self righteous and obnoxious. So, I'm sorry.
Everyone has a bad day. Kudos for being so honest
This.
I've done it. I'll bet a lot of us have.0 -
Perhaps I'm not being clear. It's not been a very good day for me at all, and I am struggling right now.
I never meant that all women who ask how they look are automatically fishing for compliments. I just meant that asking "am I fat?" is a loaded and unfair question - if you're not willing to hear the truth.
But apparently that was all a joke that I'm too dumb to get and though I have incredibly thick skin, sitting in the surgical waiting room and then by my mom's hospital bed all day has worn me out to the point that comments in this thread have brought me to tears, and the internet isn't worth crying over, so I'll bow out.
Sorry to hear that,
Thank you.
I came back to generally apologize for being a d*ck on this thread. I had no business being on the internet last night and it showed. I was genuinely trying to give my opinion but it came out pretty self righteous and obnoxious. So, I'm sorry.
Everyone has a bad day. Kudos for being so honest
This.
I've done it. I'll bet a lot of us have.
Yes, me too.0 -
I'm not too sure what to make of this to be honest. What people find attractive is very personal. Is it wrong for her to be not be physically attracted to big guys?
Nope, she never had to find me attractive back then at all. But why say that to me? I mean, seriously ... "I sure like ya now, but thank christ you don't look like a ****ing uggo behemoth anymore, amiright??"
I'd been fat since I was a small child ... and finally, after 28 years, I was in a place where I was in great shape, and someone that I truly loved say something that was literally about how ugly I had been for my entire life.
I guess if you don't know what to make of that ... that's on you.
It was an awful thing to say. I can't even comprehend what would motivate someone to say that and not realize how hurtful it would be to a partner. Some people aren't very bright I guess.0 -
I had finished using the gym and was getting ready to get into sauna. One woman asked, "r u a zebra to have so many stripes." She was referring to the stretch marks on my shoulders and upper back. Her friends laughed. Now I cover up all my 'stripes' at all times
Wow! What is wrong with people!!! I'm sorry you feel you have to cover up because of them.0 -
I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.
You asked your husband a question and he answered honestly. I've never understood why women get so mad about this.
Honesty is never the proper answer. Women are far too hysterical to be told the truth
yup!!
anyone who doesn't know that is merely still immature, or single haha0
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