what mean/thoughtless comment has been said to you before?

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  • VBnotbitter
    VBnotbitter Posts: 820 Member
    I'm the head nurse of a medical emergency team in a hospital and we recently got called to a young girl who had passed out whilst visiting a relative. The staff told us that she had been dieting lately and it was probably her blood sugar (it was, a warning there for anyone restricting calories too severely). Anyway on been told this the lead doctor on the team turned to me and said "that's what you need to do" in front of the ward staff, rest of the team and the patient's family.

    That hurt but not as much as his shins did when I kicked him
  • FeraFilia
    FeraFilia Posts: 4,664 Member
    Random guy walked up to me while I was shopping one day before I met my husband... gave me a once over, smiled at me and asked if I was single. I said I was, and his grin got snarky and he said "Yeah, I can totally see why" then walked away.

    Generally the fat jokes and insults don't bother me because I've heard them forever, but that one got to me.
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
    I have found that people who make mean or thoughtless comments about weight, will probably find something else to be mean/thoughtless about when weight is no longer an issue.

    This type of behavior is all about the other person's character defects - not your weight. That's why I don't find reliving this in any way motivational or supportive.

    Maybe not but I'm finding this thread to be a real eye-opener. How can people be so mean? And often to those that they love! - mothers, fathers, husbands!

    It may not be motivation to those looking to lose a bit of weight, but I think it's motivation to try and be a bit more careful about what you say.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    I hope you divorced him immediately.
  • CardiC333
    CardiC333 Posts: 68 Member
    My Dad was convinced that I was pregnant and I was like umm no but thank you. -_-
    Lifes too short to be self conscious. I'm not perfect at all. But I strut my s*it anyway. ;)
  • MyCabbages
    MyCabbages Posts: 33
    I was friends with this gay guy back in high school and into my first year or so of college. When I started college, I was 120. By the end of the year I was pushing 140, and one day he just looked at me..."oh, honey"

    If it had been just that one time, it wouldn't have been so bad. It was a legitimate expression of concern I suppose. But it wasn't just that one time. And it wasn't just about my weight. He commented on my friends, my hair, my clothes, EVERYTHING. Mind you, this guy was 150-200lbs overweight, greasy, and wore almost exclusively black spandex and trench coats.

    The last straw was when I started working out, he ran into me coming out of the gym and said "you're looking more oval". Not a "hey, good for you", not "I'm glad you're doing well". He essentially just said, "you don't look as fat as before". I replied with some scathing remark I no longer remember and removed him from every friends list.

    It is NOT acceptable.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    I've never in my life received a negative comment about my weight (well, except from my grandma, but she's a d*ck to everyone, so whatever). I've never been discriminated against, and no one has ever been mean to me.

    I have a lot of self confidence, so maybe that's why people don't pick on me? I also tend to focus on good things, so perhaps looks or comments go right over my Pollyanna head.

    I'm terribly sorry for all who have experienced negative comments and pain or have been made to feel less because of your weight. I've never really how lucky I am in this regard.
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    I hope you divorced him immediately.

    Crikey, it's a minefield!

    I think us men need a whole new thread about how to answer their wife's questions!

    I'll start with an easy one:
    "Do you prefer my hair up or down?"

    I'm guessing that "Up" or "Down" are both wrong answers!
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    Nothing negative about my weight or body, but my husband's stepmother once told me I was pretty, so it was too bad I was also hearing impaired. Inference being, it wouldn't matter if I was hearing impaired if I was also ugly. WTF....
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    Just for education purposes; as you were overweight/obese (as per the OP), if he had noticed, what should he have said?

    1) Yes, but you still look great
    2) Lied and said "No"
    3) Well you've possibly gained a few pounds
    4) Changed the subject

    A healthy sense of self preservation and conflict avoidance would lean in favor of 2 and/or 4. She didn't want an honest answer. She wanted a self exteme booster.

    This guy gets women. I imagine his wife is a very happy woman (for various reasons.)
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    I hope you divorced him immediately.

    Crikey, it's a minefield!

    I think us men need a whole new thread about how to answer their wife's questions!

    I'll start with an easy one:
    "Do you prefer my hair up or down?"

    I'm guessing that "Up" or "Down" are both wrong answers!

    I'd suggest you start by having your sarcasm meter serviced. :wink:
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    I hope you divorced him immediately.

    We haven't been face to face in months.
  • runningfastpumpingiron
    runningfastpumpingiron Posts: 7
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    I hope you divorced him immediately.

    Crikey, it's a minefield!

    I think us men need a whole new thread about how to answer their wife's questions!

    I'll start with an easy one:
    "Do you prefer my hair up or down?"

    I'm guessing that "Up" or "Down" are both wrong answers!

    Nahh, honestly I think us men, just need to stop dancing around stuff like this. If my girlfriends getting fat and asks me, I'm gonna tell her straight up. If she takes issue with that, there's 3 billion other women.
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    My daughter poked me in the stomach today before our run and slowly said dooooonuuuts.
    I ran her into the ground, smiled and said weeeeeeeeaaaaaaakkkkk.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    I hope you divorced him immediately.

    We haven't been face to face in months.

    Is this your way of telling us you've been doing it doggy style?
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
    Nothing negative about my weight or body, but my husband's stepmother once told me I was pretty, so it was too bad I was also hearing impaired. Inference being, it wouldn't matter if I was hearing impaired if I was also ugly. WTF....

    That took me a while to get my head around. Was she saying that it was a shame to spoil your attractiveness by having a flaw somewhere else? Wow!
  • lyrics09
    lyrics09 Posts: 217 Member
    Can i just put k-12 as an answer? jk lol People are rude and even now as adults most haven't grown up either.
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    I hope you divorced him immediately.

    Crikey, it's a minefield!

    I think us men need a whole new thread about how to answer their wife's questions!

    I'll start with an easy one:
    "Do you prefer my hair up or down?"

    I'm guessing that "Up" or "Down" are both wrong answers!

    Nahh, honestly I think us men, just need to stop dancing around stuff like this. If my girlfriends getting fat and asks me, I'm gonna tell her straight up. If she takes issue with that, there's 3 billion other women.

    So just to confirm.... On a thread about thoughtless comments, you're essentially saying that if your girlfriend takes offence at something you say, she can pack her bags and go and you will move onto the next one?
  • Watermelon_Crush
    Watermelon_Crush Posts: 170 Member
    I was emotionally abused by two family members for many years as a teenager, can't pick one out.

    A total stranger once said, when I said 'excuse me' to get through the door to a shop because he was stood in the doorway talking to a friend, 'I'm surprised she can fit through the door' to his friend.

    A number of years ago, I started going to a gym, and it was busy one night I was there so some people were having to wait, and I heard one slender woman say to another, pointing at me using the rowing machine she was waiting for, 'I don't know why she's bothering anyway'. Never been back to a gym since.

    And after an audition (I'm a singer), I was told 'you were the best audition we had all day, but our choreographer said she doesn't see how she could fit you in to her vision for the show'....even though I had emailed before I auditioned and said I'm a bigger girl (gave my clothes size even) and asked them to tell me if that would be a problem before I made the trip out to them to audition.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    I hope you divorced him immediately.

    We haven't been face to face in months.

    Is this your way of telling us you've been doing it doggy style?

    Reverse cowgirl!
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    I hope you divorced him immediately.

    We haven't been face to face in months.

    Is this your way of telling us you've been doing it doggy style?

    Reverse cowgirl!

    I almost said that too!
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
    My daughter poked me in the stomach today before our run and slowly said dooooonuuuts.
    I ran her into the ground, smiled and said weeeeeeeeaaaaaaakkkkk.

    Wait a minute, there's different rules about anything that could possibly be taken as a competitive event surely. trash talk is still allowed, right?
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    I hope you divorced him immediately.

    We haven't been face to face in months.

    Is this your way of telling us you've been doing it doggy style?

    Alas, no, it means exactly what it sounds like.
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    My boss said that my worksheet lacked proper documentation. I told her, I did not want to include 2+2 in the documentation. They said, I have an attitude problem.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    I hope you divorced him immediately.

    Crikey, it's a minefield!

    I think us men need a whole new thread about how to answer their wife's questions!

    I'll start with an easy one:
    "Do you prefer my hair up or down?"

    I'm guessing that "Up" or "Down" are both wrong answers!

    Nahh, honestly I think us men, just need to stop dancing around stuff like this. If my girlfriends getting fat and asks me, I'm gonna tell her straight up. If she takes issue with that, there's 3 billion other women.

    Oh to be 18 again.
  • MeRoHa
    MeRoHa Posts: 95 Member
    Several years ago I went to a doctor for back pain. I was shocked and surprised when the doctor told me I would keep having problems as long as I had "too much junk in my trunk" and I needed to lose weight to get relief from the back pain.
  • PinkCupcakes84
    PinkCupcakes84 Posts: 235 Member
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    You asked your husband a question and he answered honestly. I've never understood why women get so mad about this.

    Honesty is never the proper answer. Women are far too hysterical to be told the truth


    My husband knows better. I asked him when I was 49lbs heavier than I am now, "baby I'm just huge aren't i? Are you still attracted to me?" . He knew to pick his words wisely lol. In fact whatever I ask him he knows to think about his answer lol
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    I hope you divorced him immediately.

    Crikey, it's a minefield!

    I think us men need a whole new thread about how to answer their wife's questions!

    I'll start with an easy one:
    "Do you prefer my hair up or down?"

    I'm guessing that "Up" or "Down" are both wrong answers!

    Nahh, honestly I think us men, just need to stop dancing around stuff like this. If my girlfriends getting fat and asks me, I'm gonna tell her straight up. If she takes issue with that, there's 3 billion other women.

    Oh to be 18 again.

    If you're ruling yourself out of being his next girlfriend then you need to make it clear, because it already doesn't sound like all 3 billion 'other women' are going to be available to him
  • rebprest
    rebprest Posts: 149 Member
    I've got two! My normally sweet grandfather pinched my stomach fat when I was about 14 and told me I was getting a little chubby. I told him he wasn't exactly slender himself and laughed it off, but I still feel angry when I think about it. It's comforting to know he does it to normal-weighted cousins as well if they put on so much as 5 pounds.

    More recently, I work at a public library and a woman came up to the reference desk. She asked me for help making her resume and I replied that i would be happy to help her. Then she went on a long, unrelated rant about how easy it is to be healthy and thin and how overweight people are lazy and also stupid for not realizing the food they're eating is poison. I'm 260 lbs, so there is no way this is not intended for me, and the rant went on for 15 minutes. Eventually my skinny but junkfood-loving coworker saved me. I just smiled and nodded because that is part of my job, but really I wanted to say "I have a master's degree so I think I'm capable of realizing that Hohos aren't healthy, and you are not the first person to explain to me that vegetables are low calorie. I'm happy for you and your high metabolism, but since you actually need MY help, perhaps you'd like to be silent".
  • CaddieMay
    CaddieMay Posts: 356 Member
    It goes both ways, too. Back in the day when I was thin and could eat anything I wanted without gaining an ounce, I would hear things like, "Ewwww, you are SO skinny! or "I hate you, skinny *****." And these were from friends or people I knew. Commenting on people's weights are inappropriate, unless doing so is out of legitimate concern - and out of earshot of a room full of people.

    I sincerely hope we can all find dignified ways of dealing with people who rudely comment on the way we look, because we are HERE, on MFP, to find a way to be healthier, look better, and live longer. Best of luck to you all!

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