what mean/thoughtless comment has been said to you before?

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  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
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    I was at work as a cashier and needed to slide past this lady bc people were waiting at my register ( very small space, barely big enough for one person.) well I said excuse me 3 times and she just looked at me, so I went on to slide past her and as I did my bottom touched hers.. so she turned to me and said " damn you F-ing fat a-- , you in a hurry to get to that candy bar?" It was the worst moment of my life.. So many other customers, and associates heard her and it was really awkward.. never want to feel that way again..

    That just sounds like it has more to do with how she is than how you were. I have a feeling that she would find something horrible to say about anyone, regardless of how fat or slim they are
  • 1princesswarrior
    1princesswarrior Posts: 1,242 Member
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    My dad made so many mean comments I can't count them all but the worst was when I was having trouble sitting at a booth for New Year's Dinner after my neck surgery when I was at my highest weight and lowest self-esteem and he blurts out to the entire restaurant "hey you too f**kin fat to fit in a booth now! I'm going to have to send you and your brother to a fat camp!"

    The whole restaurant looked at us.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
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    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    Just for education purposes; as you were overweight/obese (as per the OP), if he had noticed, what should he have said?

    1) Yes, but you still look great
    2) Lied and said "No"
    3) Well you've possibly gained a few pounds
    4) Changed the subject

    A healthy sense of self preservation and conflict avoidance would lean in favor of 2 and/or 4. She didn't want an honest answer. She wanted a self exteme booster.
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
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    Many things. My mother used to pick on me to make my sister feel better about her (thinner) body. She'd poke my tummy and they'd both laugh. I think it was due to her own feelings about herself, but growing up with that kind of negativity really did a number on my self-esteem.
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
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    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    Just for education purposes; as you were overweight/obese (as per the OP), if he had noticed, what should he have said?

    1) Yes, but you still look great
    2) Lied and said "No"
    3) Well you've possibly gained a few pounds
    4) Changed the subject

    Trick question. The answer is "5.) don't ask questions to which you don't want the answer"

    Which is another reason why I never venture into the 'rate the person above you' threads!
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    Just for education purposes; as you were overweight/obese (as per the OP), if he had noticed, what should he have said?

    1) Yes, but you still look great
    2) Lied and said "No"
    3) Well you've possibly gained a few pounds
    4) Changed the subject

    Trick question. The answer is "5.) don't ask questions to which you don't want the answer"

    Which is another reason why I never venture into the 'rate the person above you' threads!

    :drinker:
  • Nessie112
    Nessie112 Posts: 39 Member
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    Oh gosh there have been a lot. My 'friend' called my ex a 'chubby chaser' for dating me, and he didn't respond or tell him otherwise. I guess that was the most hurtful. I never really cared what others said about me, people that I didn't know I mean but when it came to my friends and family it hurt a lot. My best friend nick named me cow, whale and walrus. So that sucked. I know it may sound petty, but I can not wait to show myself off when I'm their version of attractive. So tired of people thinking I'm lazy just because I'm heavy. And I've heard people say it's wrong to be mean to others based on their race or sexual orientation, but it's okay if they're fat, because they can change. Well it sure as hell isn't easy. *grumble grumble*
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
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    I have found that people who make mean or thoughtless comments about weight, will probably find something else to be mean/thoughtless about when weight is no longer an issue.

    This type of behavior is all about the other person's character defects - not your weight. That's why I don't find reliving this in any way motivational or supportive.
  • tedrickp
    tedrickp Posts: 1,229 Member
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    Well I was massive, and I have had plenty of random **** yelled at me from cars or in bars/parties. When I was 18-20 age it bothered me, and led to plenty of fights... but thankfully I grew up and stopped giving a ****. At least outwardly - it would still bother me a bit, but lashing out never helped anything.

    I found it even more annoying/hurtful when people/friends would give you those backhanded patronizing compliments. I remember two occasions specifically (so Im sure there were plenty more) where people would actually say something like "Hey man, I think it's awesome that you don't care what people think of you and are out here having a good time". As if I was some freak of nature who should have been house bound. Yeah, look at how brave I am - daring to act normal at a social gathering. :explode:
  • apanda4
    apanda4 Posts: 513 Member
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    Well, I know that my mum doesn't think that I am pretty and she said to me once "why should I, you're my daughter". That hurt

    But my step-grandfather was always picking on me about my weight when he was alive and the one time it really hurt, was when we were having a party for my mum's birthday one year and my grandmother said that she was cold. I told her that I didn't feel cold. My step-grandfather told me that I had my fat to keep me warm. I was kinda used to his insults, but it hurt bad, because it was around family friends and my dad's family as well.

    I was called elephant, hippopotamus, earthquake etc etc etc while growing up

    And recently my ex has taken to calling me fat, ugly and lazy.
  • VBnotbitter
    VBnotbitter Posts: 820 Member
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    I'm the head nurse of a medical emergency team in a hospital and we recently got called to a young girl who had passed out whilst visiting a relative. The staff told us that she had been dieting lately and it was probably her blood sugar (it was, a warning there for anyone restricting calories too severely). Anyway on been told this the lead doctor on the team turned to me and said "that's what you need to do" in front of the ward staff, rest of the team and the patient's family.

    That hurt but not as much as his shins did when I kicked him
  • FeraFilia
    FeraFilia Posts: 4,664 Member
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    Random guy walked up to me while I was shopping one day before I met my husband... gave me a once over, smiled at me and asked if I was single. I said I was, and his grin got snarky and he said "Yeah, I can totally see why" then walked away.

    Generally the fat jokes and insults don't bother me because I've heard them forever, but that one got to me.
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
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    I have found that people who make mean or thoughtless comments about weight, will probably find something else to be mean/thoughtless about when weight is no longer an issue.

    This type of behavior is all about the other person's character defects - not your weight. That's why I don't find reliving this in any way motivational or supportive.

    Maybe not but I'm finding this thread to be a real eye-opener. How can people be so mean? And often to those that they love! - mothers, fathers, husbands!

    It may not be motivation to those looking to lose a bit of weight, but I think it's motivation to try and be a bit more careful about what you say.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    I hope you divorced him immediately.
  • CardiC333
    CardiC333 Posts: 68 Member
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    My Dad was convinced that I was pregnant and I was like umm no but thank you. -_-
    Lifes too short to be self conscious. I'm not perfect at all. But I strut my s*it anyway. ;)
  • MyCabbages
    MyCabbages Posts: 33
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    I was friends with this gay guy back in high school and into my first year or so of college. When I started college, I was 120. By the end of the year I was pushing 140, and one day he just looked at me..."oh, honey"

    If it had been just that one time, it wouldn't have been so bad. It was a legitimate expression of concern I suppose. But it wasn't just that one time. And it wasn't just about my weight. He commented on my friends, my hair, my clothes, EVERYTHING. Mind you, this guy was 150-200lbs overweight, greasy, and wore almost exclusively black spandex and trench coats.

    The last straw was when I started working out, he ran into me coming out of the gym and said "you're looking more oval". Not a "hey, good for you", not "I'm glad you're doing well". He essentially just said, "you don't look as fat as before". I replied with some scathing remark I no longer remember and removed him from every friends list.

    It is NOT acceptable.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
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    I've never in my life received a negative comment about my weight (well, except from my grandma, but she's a d*ck to everyone, so whatever). I've never been discriminated against, and no one has ever been mean to me.

    I have a lot of self confidence, so maybe that's why people don't pick on me? I also tend to focus on good things, so perhaps looks or comments go right over my Pollyanna head.

    I'm terribly sorry for all who have experienced negative comments and pain or have been made to feel less because of your weight. I've never really how lucky I am in this regard.
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
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    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    I hope you divorced him immediately.

    Crikey, it's a minefield!

    I think us men need a whole new thread about how to answer their wife's questions!

    I'll start with an easy one:
    "Do you prefer my hair up or down?"

    I'm guessing that "Up" or "Down" are both wrong answers!
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
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    Nothing negative about my weight or body, but my husband's stepmother once told me I was pretty, so it was too bad I was also hearing impaired. Inference being, it wouldn't matter if I was hearing impaired if I was also ugly. WTF....
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    Just for education purposes; as you were overweight/obese (as per the OP), if he had noticed, what should he have said?

    1) Yes, but you still look great
    2) Lied and said "No"
    3) Well you've possibly gained a few pounds
    4) Changed the subject

    A healthy sense of self preservation and conflict avoidance would lean in favor of 2 and/or 4. She didn't want an honest answer. She wanted a self exteme booster.

    This guy gets women. I imagine his wife is a very happy woman (for various reasons.)

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