what mean/thoughtless comment has been said to you before?

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  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    What's wrong with that?

    PS I could use a compliment right about now. :flowerforyou:

    Seems a bit forced that's all.

    Oh good use of punctuation by the way

    Forced? I've been with my husband for 12 years, there's nothing left to be forced between us. I tell him that I'm feeling sensitive or whatever on a particular day and so he's not blindsided by my mood swings, too. Communication in marriage - crazy concept, I know.

    So maybe you should have prefaced your posts with "I'm feeling being sensitive and not very sarcastic"....

    You aren't the only person here with a happy relationship. It doesn't really make you special. What works for you, works for you. GREAT. I do wonder why you feel the need to proclaim in this loudly, but whatever.
  • StargazrgirL
    StargazrgirL Posts: 8 Member
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    I had someone ask me how old my baby was.... I wasn't and hadn't been pregnant... Made me evaluate how I dressed and how healthy I really was.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    Seriously? How about not setting your partner up for failure. Either he lies to you, or he's honest - either answer is wrong.

    I don't ask my husband how I look, or how a piece of clothing makes a part of my body look - that's what mirrors are for. If, on the other hand, I need reassurance or a compliment, I tell him.

    I am vehemently against demanding the impossible of a partner.

    Really? You say to your husband "I need a compliment"?

    Instead of blindly fishing for one? Yes. Not in those exact words, but yes. I don't see how this isn't preferable for both parties. *shrug*

    As far as me being a "forum failure" or unable to read sarcasm - I'm sorry, I left my super special internet sarcasm decoder glasses and my "give a s*it about what forum people think of me" in my other purse. My bad.

    Well now I think you're bad at sarcasm and easily upset.

    not that you care.

    I'm just sharing.

    Thanks so much for sharing. :flowerforyou:

    Communication is crucial.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    Seriously? How about not setting your partner up for failure. Either he lies to you, or he's honest - either answer is wrong.

    I don't ask my husband how I look, or how a piece of clothing makes a part of my body look - that's what mirrors are for. If, on the other hand, I need reassurance or a compliment, I tell him.

    I am vehemently against demanding the impossible of a partner.

    Really? You say to your husband "I need a compliment"?

    Instead of blindly fishing for one? Yes. Not in those exact words, but yes. I don't see how this isn't preferable for both parties. *shrug*

    As far as me being a "forum failure" or unable to read sarcasm - I'm sorry, I left my super special internet sarcasm decoder glasses and my "give a s*it about what forum people think of me" in my other purse. My bad.

    Well now I think you're bad at sarcasm and easily upset.

    not that you care.

    I'm just sharing.

    Thanks so much for sharing. :flowerforyou:

    Communication is crucial.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Yagisama
    Yagisama Posts: 595 Member
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    I had someone ask me how old my baby was.... I wasn't and hadn't been pregnant... Made me evaluate how I dressed and how healthy I really was.

    A foolish mistake on the part of that person.

    As for me,unless I am 100% sure someone is pregnant and they bring it up in a conversation, I do not mention anything pregnancy related.
  • maQmIgh
    maQmIgh Posts: 236 Member
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    I never had anything hurtful said to me whilst I was overweight

    But I had loads of friends, family AND work colleagues all start having a go at me to stop losing just as I was starting to feel better about myself. :cry:

    "Dont lose anymore you look sick" :mad:
    "Im worried that your becoming anerexic" :explode:

    That was before the middle photo was taken in my profile pic.

    And my favourite one was a comment on the middle pic on my profile just after it was taken

    "Your leg looks anerexic" :noway: WTF!!!! How can a LEG be anorexic but not the rest of me???? lol
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
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    What's wrong with that?

    PS I could use a compliment right about now. :flowerforyou:

    Seems a bit forced that's all.

    Oh good use of punctuation by the way

    Forced? I've been with my husband for 12 years, there's nothing left to be forced between us. I tell him that I'm feeling sensitive or whatever on a particular day and so he's not blindsided by my mood swings, too. Communication in marriage - crazy concept, I know.

    Communication in marriage = very important
    Needing to ask your spouse for a compliment is not the same thing as communication in marriage - you can have one without the other

    Whilst it works for you, it certainly isn't something that my wife would want
  • JMarie4Peace
    JMarie4Peace Posts: 1 Member
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    Recently I had a teacher come up to me and say "You have really gained a lot of weight." She asked if I were sick or on steroids. Now this is a woman who does not hold her tongue, so it did not surprise me. Even though her comments did not surprise me, they have had a lasting effect. I often hear her in my head say "You have really gained a lot of weight." Things are getting easier because I have supportive friends.
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
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    I never had anything hurtful said to me whilst I was overweight

    But I had loads of friends, family AND work colleagues all start having a go at me to stop losing just as I was starting to feel better about myself. :cry:

    "Dont lose anymore you look sick" :mad:
    "Im worried that your becoming anerexic" :explode:

    That was before the middle photo was taken in my profile pic.

    And my favourite one was a comment on the middle pic on my profile just after it was taken

    "Your leg looks anerexic" :noway: WTF!!!! How can a LEG be anorexic but not the rest of me???? lol

    Maybe they meant that your leg looks like the leg of someone who is anorexic, but the rest of you doesn't?
  • Sad_Grandpa
    Sad_Grandpa Posts: 129
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    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    Just for education purposes; as you were overweight/obese (as per the OP), if he had noticed, what should he have said?

    1) Yes, but you still look great
    2) Lied and said "No"
    3) Well you've possibly gained a few pounds
    4) Changed the subject

    In that situation, I like to pretend I'm dying. When she goes to call for help, I climb out the window and head off to play poker.
  • MichelleB69
    MichelleB69 Posts: 213 Member
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    People can be thoughtless, cruel, and/or stupid…or just incredibly awkward. I don't remember too many comments when I was heavy, I felt more like I became invisible to people: no one smiled at me anymore, people didn't hold doors open or wait for me or look me in the eye…that kind of thing.

    HOWEVER, this just happened to me tonight AND IM NOT FAT anymore. I'm 5'6" 138lbs and I just finished running 4 miles on the treadmill….I WAS a sweaty, red-faced mess. But when I went over to refill my water bottle at the drinking fountain, I heard a guy come up behind me. I said excuse me and went to move out of his way because I had no idea how long he had been back there and I didn't want to be hogging up the only drinking fountain by filling my bottle. He touches the back of my shirt (upper r shoulder) and says, "Are you the pig?" I couldn't figure out WTH he was talking about and asked him to repeat himself…so he did and pokes the back of my shirt again. It finally dawns on me that I have my old Dirty Dash tshirt on, so I just reply, "Yeah, I guess I am" and laughed it off. Either he's a complete jerk or that's the worst attempt at a pickup line I've ever heard! LOL

    What comes out of other people's mouths always has more to do with them and the filter they see the world thru than it ever does with you. But I'm still shocked at some of these stories.
  • Sad_Grandpa
    Sad_Grandpa Posts: 129
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    Seriously? How about not setting your partner up for failure. Either he lies to you, or he's honest - either answer is wrong.

    I don't ask my husband how I look, or how a piece of clothing makes a part of my body look - that's what mirrors are for. If, on the other hand, I need reassurance or a compliment, I tell him.

    I am vehemently against demanding the impossible of a partner.

    Really? You say to your husband "I need a compliment"?

    Instead of blindly fishing for one? Yes. Not in those exact words, but yes. I don't see how this isn't preferable for both parties. *shrug*

    I'm probably getting it all wrong then

    If my wife asks me how she looks then I don't take it as she is blindly fishing for compliments, but is genuinely asking for my opinion.

    I would reply honestly whether it's "Oh wow you look great, I love your hair like that" Or "Hmm I'm not a big fan of dungarees"

    Rookie.
  • Yagisama
    Yagisama Posts: 595 Member
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    What's wrong with that?

    PS I could use a compliment right about now. :flowerforyou:

    Seems a bit forced that's all.

    Oh good use of punctuation by the way

    That wasn't even my best work. :blushing:

    You should see how I rock an umlaut !! :drinker:
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
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    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    Just for education purposes; as you were overweight/obese (as per the OP), if he had noticed, what should he have said?

    1) Yes, but you still look great
    2) Lied and said "No"
    3) Well you've possibly gained a few pounds
    4) Changed the subject

    In that situation, I like to pretend I'm dying. When she goes to call for help, I climb out the window and head off to play poker.

    Sad Grandpa for the win. :heart:
  • Swiftlet66
    Swiftlet66 Posts: 729 Member
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    My mom to my dad (with me in hearing distance): "She's getting fatter; that's why she started running."

    Yeah, well mom, I am getting a little chubbier but that is not the only reason I am starting to run again. Yeah, losing a few pounds would be great, but my main reason is that I do not want to get diabetes... I don't want to suffer later on, like you are right now.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
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    Seriously? How about not setting your partner up for failure. Either he lies to you, or he's honest - either answer is wrong.

    I don't ask my husband how I look, or how a piece of clothing makes a part of my body look - that's what mirrors are for. If, on the other hand, I need reassurance or a compliment, I tell him.

    I am vehemently against demanding the impossible of a partner.

    Really? You say to your husband "I need a compliment"?

    Instead of blindly fishing for one? Yes. Not in those exact words, but yes. I don't see how this isn't preferable for both parties. *shrug*

    I'm probably getting it all wrong then

    If my wife asks me how she looks then I don't take it as she is blindly fishing for compliments, but is genuinely asking for my opinion.

    I would reply honestly whether it's "Oh wow you look great, I love your hair like that" Or "Hmm I'm not a big fan of dungarees"

    Perhaps I'm not being clear. It's not been a very good day for me at all, and I am struggling right now.

    I never meant that all women who ask how they look are automatically fishing for compliments. I just meant that asking "am I fat?" is a loaded and unfair question - if you're not willing to hear the truth.

    But apparently that was all a joke that I'm too dumb to get and though I have incredibly thick skin, sitting in the surgical waiting room and then by my mom's hospital bed all day has worn me out to the point that comments in this thread have brought me to tears, and the internet isn't worth crying over, so I'll bow out.
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
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    Seriously? How about not setting your partner up for failure. Either he lies to you, or he's honest - either answer is wrong.

    I don't ask my husband how I look, or how a piece of clothing makes a part of my body look - that's what mirrors are for. If, on the other hand, I need reassurance or a compliment, I tell him.

    I am vehemently against demanding the impossible of a partner.

    Really? You say to your husband "I need a compliment"?

    Instead of blindly fishing for one? Yes. Not in those exact words, but yes. I don't see how this isn't preferable for both parties. *shrug*

    I'm probably getting it all wrong then

    If my wife asks me how she looks then I don't take it as she is blindly fishing for compliments, but is genuinely asking for my opinion.

    I would reply honestly whether it's "Oh wow you look great, I love your hair like that" Or "Hmm I'm not a big fan of dungarees"

    Rookie.

    Goes some way to explaining my legendary lack of success with women!
  • sun_fish
    sun_fish Posts: 864 Member
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    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    Just for education purposes; as you were overweight/obese (as per the OP), if he had noticed, what should he have said?

    1) Yes, but you still look great
    2) Lied and said "No"
    3) Well you've possibly gained a few pounds
    4) Changed the subject

    In that situation, I like to pretend I'm dying. When she goes to call for help, I climb out the window and head off to play poker.

    Sad Grandpa for the win. :heart:

    When I read what Sad Grandpa said, I said out loud "Sad Grandpa for the win". Then I scrolled down and saw this! Great minds think alike :flowerforyou:
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
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    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    Just for education purposes; as you were overweight/obese (as per the OP), if he had noticed, what should he have said?

    1) Yes, but you still look great
    2) Lied and said "No"
    3) Well you've possibly gained a few pounds
    4) Changed the subject

    In that situation, I like to pretend I'm dying. When she goes to call for help, I climb out the window and head off to play poker.

    Sad Grandpa for the win. :heart:

    When I read what Sad Grandpa said, I said out loud "Sad Grandpa for the win". Then I scrolled down and saw this! Great minds think alike :flowerforyou:

    :heart: Indeed.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
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    When I was in 3X clothing, a lot of fellow fat women would say things to me that I felt were insulting or hurtful. Basically saying, "women like us can't do that" or "us big girls gotta get our fried chicken"...just bizarre if you ask me. Especially when they were strangers to me! I didn't mind it QUITE as badly if it was someone I actually knew.

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