MFP has changed

_HeartsOnFire_

And no, gifs aren't cute, funny, or leaventing to the person who ted the thread being derailed, especially if they're chosen to humiliate that person. Most of the time they're just, yes, mean.

You mean gifs like a pig slamming her head repeatedly on a table laden with pastries?



This little helpful ditty was the eighth reply left on the Rasperry ketone!! thread started by a mother from the UK who was a newer poster with a bunch of kids who felt confused and unattractive.

Of course some "helpful" links and quotes from New Age speaker Wayne Dyer were also left. After the *pig* GIF. Real nice. Push her down in front of everybody, skin her knee, then offer her a hand up and a Band Aid. Thanks a lot MFP!

For what it's worth, you had the following advice in that same thread:

I don't know what they are but they sound rather tasty.

*shrug*

I made that post with Mrs. Piggy. I'll stand by it every day. To me that gif is hilarious. The links I posted are the same as I posted here and are VERY helpful for anyone who is new. The quote by Wayne is also dead on. Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice. -Wayne Dyer

Because it's always a choice. A decision that one has to make themselves.

Sorry you may not find the links helpful, or Mrs. Piggy funny, but others do. I am on here as I am in real life. One of my coworkers said something about a cleanse, I started laughing. I couldn't help it. We did talk about it. I even laughed when my sister said she was on one.

LoupGarouTFTs

Are you currently providing direct service to people dealing with mental health issues?

Am I to imply that you feel my skills will be inadequate? Because you disagree with me in a forum? ROFL

littlesis1962

I'm going to throw this out there and I'm sure I'll get backlash good and bad. I invite you to keep your nasty comments to yourself.

I love mfp, I really do. I use it to my benefit and I only post stuff on here that I would tell anyone, anywhere any time. It is the internet, you know. There is the one thing that does bother me when I see it posted. It's not the bashing or lack of accountability but the second life that the site seems to have taken on and that is one of a dating site. Jeez people, get a life! Who cares if you think the person above you is hot or if you'd date the person below your or if you think we should or have the right to rate anyone else who uses this site. It bothers be so I'm just going to say this and leave it "IF YOU WANT TO DO THAT CRAP, THERE IS ANOTHER 3 LETTER SITE FOR YOU!! IT'S CALLED POF!! USE IT!!"

LoupGarouTFTs

I made that post with Mrs. Piggy. I'll stand by it every day. To me that gif is hilarious. The links I posted are the same as I posted here and are VERY helpful for anyone who is new. The quote by Wayne is also dead on. Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice. -Wayne Dyer

Sorry you may not find the links helpful, or Mrs. Piggy funny, but others do. I am on here as I am in real life.

That's nice, Grace. I'm just glad I'm not blocking a genuinely nice person with a warped sense of humor.

DavPul

My take on the infamous Law School thread:

It got rough in there. I thought the OP was joking in his OP but the first response answered him seriously (but truthfully) and then 95% of the thread after that was posters going back and forth at each other about blame and responsibility. It was more infighting than outright putting the OP down IMO. Still wouldn't have been any fun to be the OP tho.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, there are hundreds upon hundreds of posts on this site every single day where that doesn't happen. I guess I just don't understand this mindset of, "Well, that one time, something happened and I didn't like it, SO THIS WHOLE ENTIRE SITE IS BROKEN." Law School thread is what, two weeks old? How many years have been created in the meantime? How many people helped figure out a way to achieve their goals?

If you're going to be read 800 threads and then be soooooo upset about the 1 thread that you didn't like, you're going to have a bad time.

What's funny, is the guy who was all upset about that thread - also went to create a "meanies" thread...

The thing I thought was interesting was when he said he did it to get more people on his friends list. We hardly ever see him on here giving advice, so I'm curious as to why he wants more "nice" or "butthurt" people on his list.

I can't help it--I'm curious.

When I get a rare sighting of that guy I instantly roll my eyes and usually don't read what he has to say. Not worth the strike.

He was on one of my MFP friends' list (a new friend to me) and she and I were talking and I mentioned I thought about deleting her because I didn't want to even see him on my newsfeed. He throws out the word mean or bully like it's candy. If you ask me, that just lessons the meaning of those words and when it really happens, may not be dealt with like it should be because the boy who cried wolf. I think they do more of a disservice here than anything. I'm actually glad his time on the forums is far and few.

his prospects for his future career in the law remain quite high.

AglaeaC

I think I'll add my last two cents and then be done with it for now.

Since we are paging Miss Manners, Emily Post, and all the other sources on etiquette here, do you know how rare it is for people, who ask for advice, to actually come back and thank those, who took the time to write a constructive reply?

I don't see that happen very often, but silly me was under the impression that when someone helps you in some way, you thank them in return. And one day you pass on the help to other new members.

I think this forum would be much more active, if all those people, who received help, would stick around to help share the burden of providing accurate information on a daily basis. Instead, the backbone of science-based information is in a select few members. Food for thought that is and here's a mirror as the cherry on top; you might want to take a look at it from time to time.

_Terrapin_

And no, gifs aren't cute, funny, or leaventing to the person who ted the thread being derailed, especially if they're chosen to humiliate that person. Most of the time they're just, yes, mean.

You mean gifs like a pig slamming her head repeatedly on a table laden with pastries?



This little helpful ditty was the eighth reply left on the Rasperry ketone!! thread started by a mother from the UK who was a newer poster with a bunch of kids who felt confused and unattractive.

Of course some "helpful" links and quotes from New Age speaker Wayne Dyer were also left. After the *pig* GIF. Real nice. Push her down in front of everybody, skin her knee, then offer her a hand up and a Band Aid. Thanks a lot MFP!

So the Rasberry ketone thread. . .where did the OP in there discuss her children? And the Miss Piggy gif along with the links were both funny and helpful. How are you helping? You show the gif but not the links.

AglaeaC

I've pretty much come to the conclusion that the only thing this thread has been useful for is deciding which people to add to my block list.

Anyway, to wrap it up, back when I was moderating forums a lot of the people here would have gotten warnings and then gotten the boot. There's no need to have nasty people in the community, since all they ultimately do is tear it apart. And no, gifs aren't cute, funny, or leaventing to the person who ted the thread being derailed, especially if they're chosen to humiliate that person. Most of the time they're just, yes, mean.

I take it you realise you not only criticized the mods here, but basically also told them you'd do their job better. Nice.

Never said that, either. I like how you like to put words in people's mouths. I moderated forums for a game company and we were pretty strict about it.

My reading and comprehension skills are well and thriving.

LoupGarouTFTs

I would liken the point you're making to stating that MFP advice is bad because it would be largely inappropriate for someone with an eating disorder. There is indeed an assumption that most or all people reading the forum are somewhat mentally and emotionally balanced. It seems a stretch to have to assume they may not be. Perhaps something should be written in the guidelines taking one stance or not

I never said MFP advice was bad. I said that the rude comments from people who enjoy driving from people from the forums are bad. What is with people being unable to read and putting words into my mouth?

Slacker16

I feel I should give a serious answer too.

It is true that some people could work on being tactful, if for no other reason than that posting on a forum is a form of communication so doing it in a way which reduces the chance of people listening to you isn't very logical.

On the other hand, I (and many others) have gotten some very useful (and free) nutrition and workout advice in here. Advice of the sort that you'd have to pay for IRL (or at least hang out in gymnasiums, which have terrible music and no beer). That's nice.

All in all, being nice is more important than acting nice.

_KitKat_

Seems appropriate that you'd choose a gif of two of the most hateful people on television.

I think people are not understanding "external locus of control." Maybe you need to look it up. Beating up such a person or a person with chronic depression (situational depression can be different) just isn't the way to go. And certainly celebrating the fact s/he has deactivated an account and stating "our work is done here" is just heinous in my opinion. It was the joy at driving a person away that really shocked me, as if it were that person's mission to make a person so miserable that s/he gave up in despair. Admit what you will, but to me that fits the definition of bullying and shouldn't be tolerated here.

They are most definitely NOT the most hateful people on television.

I deal with depression EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. No one can help me with that but myself. I had to want to get help in order to change. Just like with weight loss. The person has to want the change. My roommate is a perfect example, I love her, it kills me to see her so depressed every day. I did help to get her to go to counseling and I know it'll take time, but it's still hard to see her suffer every single day. I talk to her about it, about maybe she should get out of the house, go for a walk, not sleep so much. She doesn't want to. She's not there yet. She's not ready to make the change. Someone has to want help in order to be willing to receive it.

And where in ANY of my posts did I bring up anything about the people deactivating, saying that it was a good thing or even bring up that situation? I didn't. So not sure why you're bringing that up when I posted a gif in response to someone else posting something and you decided you should delete all of what was said and just come at me. I agree that bullying shouldn't be tolerated, however, that word gets tossed around like it means nothing. It's going to start turning into the boy who cried wolf because it's used so much that soon, real bullying will be hard to identify because of that.

I don't know of the thread you speak of. If I see someone has posted they are depressed, I always advise them to seek counseling. I will speak of my own experience about depression and weight loss. No one but them can make the changes.

If someone is depressed they have to want help, they have to want to change. Nothing anyone says on a message board can make that happen. They have to want to. I know, because that was me. Every. Single. Day. I lost weight before, but never got my depression under control. I gained it back. I lost weight in the last 2 years, and got help for my depression because I was finally ready for it and I wanted to change.

I never said they were the two most hateful people. Neither did I say that you expressed joy at the people deactivating their accounts. That was said in response to the lawyer thread, which was under discussion when this thread was about the real topic and not just a place to justify bad behavior. Please check your outrage at the door, since it's based on an inaccurate statement and internalizing what's been said here.

Maybe not "the" but "of"

I had chronic depression for years, so I know whereof I speak. I couldn't afford treatment, since the free clinic here doesn't handle that and no one local handles charging on a sliding scale. That's one of the reasons I want to finish my counseling psych degree (with a Christian focus) and help an underserved community.

Seems pretty liberal and you find 2 liberals hateful, even though they will both even call out other liberals. Plus they are comedy, get over yourself.

There are too many people being told they need to "pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get over it" when they don't have the resources to do it. It is possibly true that nothing said on a forum can make a person seek help, but cruelty from people on a forum has, in the past, been proven to drive people to kill themselves. What people say to others can and does make a difference in their lives.

First I do not condone, anyone telling someone to die, or anything that may imply it. BUT and HUGE but.....nobody other than the mentally unbalanced individual is responsible for a suicide. Putting moral blame on anyone but the person who committed the act, is asinine.

However, depression is *very* different from locus of control, although loc can be a part of depression and changing a person's loc can help in the treatment of depression. AGAIN, it it not helpful to berate a person with an external locus of control. They honestly don't see how they can make their own changes--the world is conspiring against them and they are adrift at sea. It's not mental illness--it's just a defeatist way of perceiving reality, for lack of a better term. It is impossible to make a person with an eloc better by telling them how stupid they are and that only they are responsible for their lives. That just reinforces the idea that the world is against them. Keep in mind I have no love for the touchy-feely humanistic therapies--I'm primarily a believer in cognitive-behavioral therapy, which does use bluntness and a direct approach. HOWEVER, there is appropriate behavior and inappropriate behavior and many times when people say they are being blunt here they are just bordering on being cruel. The point someone made about chickens and corn is a good one, especially in the case of someone who can't see how s/he can affect the things controlling his or her own life.

This statement is contradictory, first calling someone stupid...helps nothing but telling someone they are mistaken and refusing facts is not the same as calling someone stupid. Although "stupid" by definition is having intelligence and refusing to use it. So by definition it does fit. Telling someone they are responsible for themself and that they are the only force in their life that truly matters, in no rational or not mentally imbalanced mind would be interpreted as "the world against them". It is also a mental illness to have any distorted veiw of reality....that's why reality is reality...it is real, perceiving it as something else is not with reality or most likely a mental illness, causing distorted perceptions.

Strangers in an public forum have no responsibility to preserving and protecting a strangers distorted views.

Anyway, to wrap it up, back when I was moderating forums a lot of the people here would have gotten warnings and then gotten the boot. There's no need to have nasty people in the community, since all they ultimately do is tear it apart. And no, gifs aren't cute, funny, or leaventing to the person who ted the thread being derailed, especially if they're chosen to humiliate that person. Most of the time they're just, yes, mean.

I saw your post history, so I know you have heard this before...

Pot...meet kettle!

Also way to insult our moderators, please continue and tell us how you are not judgmental, rude, self righteous, passive aggressive and MEAN.


Myself, I can be a B!tch, I can also be helpful, caring, polite and blunt. I will call bull**** when someone is spreading false facts, or asking for help and then making excuses. I am not an enabler, and am proud of this fact.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

Seems appropriate that you'd choose a gif of two of the most hateful people on television.

Well, this certainly sheds light on the problem. :laugh:

Yes, yes it does.

jofjltncb6

And no, gifs aren't cute, funny, or leaventing to the person who ted the thread being derailed, especially if they're chosen to humiliate that person. Most of the time they're just, yes, mean.

You mean gifs like a pig slamming her head repeatedly on a table laden with pastries?



This little helpful ditty was the eighth reply left on the Rasperry ketone!! thread started by a mother from the UK who was a newer poster with a bunch of kids who felt confused and unattractive.

Of course some "helpful" links and quotes from New Age speaker Wayne Dyer were also left. After the *pig* GIF. Real nice. Push her down in front of everybody, skin her knee, then offer her a hand up and a Band Aid. Thanks a lot MFP!

For what it's worth, you had the following advice in that same thread:

I don't know what they are but they sound rather tasty.

*shrug*

Here is exactly what I said:

"The best way to get help from MFPers is to open your diary, log everything you eat honestly, and then three months from now ask for feedback if you still haven't lost weight.

Also, and sorry if this sounds mean, make sure your posts are proof read with pretty good spelling and grammar. This lends to the legitimacy of your interest in sincerely asking for help.

I don't think you're illiterate - that's not what I'm saying. Maybe you're just rushing or using an android phone touch screen to type.

Unless it's known exactly what you're eating and how much, no one can really help at this point.

And Raspberry Keytones will probably get you razzed, yes. Aren't they a Dr. Oz thing? I don't know what they are but they sound rather tasty."

You're right. Partially for brevity, I omitted the part where you suggested the poster work on their proofreading, spelling and grammar. Also, I thought you would prefer that I not quote the part where you violated Community Guidelines (all hail!) #1...

...because I'm thoughtful like that.

nomeejerome

Are you currently providing direct service to people dealing with mental health issues?

Am I to imply that you feel my skills will be inadequate? Because you disagree with me in a forum? ROFL

It was a question.

MelodyandBarbells

I would liken the point you're making to stating that MFP advice is bad because it would be largely inappropriate for someone with an eating disorder. There is indeed an assumption that most or all people reading the forum are somewhat mentally and emotionally balanced. It seems a stretch to have to assume they may not be. Perhaps something should be written in the guidelines taking one stance or not

I never said MFP advice was bad. I said that the rude comments from people who enjoy driving from people from the forums are bad. What is with people being unable to read and putting words into my mouth?

Did you at least think about reading what I wrote a second time?

gypsy_spirit

Are you currently providing direct service to people dealing with mental health issues?

Am I to imply that you feel my skills will be inadequate? Because you disagree with me in a forum? ROFL

It was a question.

See? Now that is hilarious. A question. An assumption. A clarification.

_HeartsOnFire_

And no, gifs aren't cute, funny, or leaventing to the person who ted the thread being derailed, especially if they're chosen to humiliate that person. Most of the time they're just, yes, mean.

You mean gifs like a pig slamming her head repeatedly on a table laden with pastries?



This little helpful ditty was the eighth reply left on the Rasperry ketone!! thread started by a mother from the UK who was a newer poster with a bunch of kids who felt confused and unattractive.

Of course some "helpful" links and quotes from New Age speaker Wayne Dyer were also left. After the *pig* GIF. Real nice. Push her down in front of everybody, skin her knee, then offer her a hand up and a Band Aid. Thanks a lot MFP!

For what it's worth, you had the following advice in that same thread:

I don't know what they are but they sound rather tasty.

*shrug*

Here is exactly what I said:

"The best way to get help from MFPers is to open your diary, log everything you eat honestly, and then three months from now ask for feedback if you still haven't lost weight.

Also, and sorry if this sounds mean, make sure your posts are proof read with pretty good spelling and grammar. This lends to the legitimacy of your interest in sincerely asking for help.

I don't think you're illiterate - that's not what I'm saying. Maybe you're just rushing or using an android phone touch screen to type.

Unless it's known exactly what you're eating and how much, no one can really help at this point.

And Raspberry Keytones will probably get you razzed, yes. Aren't they a Dr. Oz thing? I don't know what they are but they sound rather tasty."

So just for clarification what you wrote above is better and more helpful than what I wrote in that thread? I get you don't like Ms. Piggy gif, I can understand that, I thought it was funny, and I get some people won't. You can't make everyone happy.

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.
-Wayne Dyer

There are no magic pills. Only hard work and dedication.

It's about moderation not deprivation. There are no good/bad foods, only bad eating habits. Do or do not, there is no try. You have to want it, you have to work for it, you have to realize that only you can do it.

Read these:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1235566-so-you-re-new-here?hl=so+you're+new+here

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/974888-in-place-of-a-road-map-2k13

TL:DR the link right above this one then ->http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/975025-in-place-of-a-road-map-short-n-sweet

Excuses??? http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2014/06/02/the-no-excuses-play-like-a-champion-challenge/

If you have 75+ lbs to lose 2 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 40-75 lbs to lose 1.5 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 25-40 lbs to lose 1 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 15 -25 lbs to lose 0.5 to 1.0 lbs/week is ideal
If you have less than 15 lbs to lose 0.5 lbs/week is ideal

Want to lift heavy things?
http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/

Stronglifts Summary
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/560459-stronglifts-5x5-summary

Stronglifts Womens Group
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/4601-stronglifts-5x5-for-women

LoupGarouTFTs

There, that feels better.

jofjltncb6

Are you currently providing direct service to people dealing with mental health issues?

Am I to imply that you feel my skills will be inadequate? Because you disagree with me in a forum? ROFL

It was a question.

See? Now that is hilarious. A question. An assumption. A clarification.

(Little microcosms of the very problems being discussed in this thread in this very thread itself. #threadception )

LoupGarouTFTs

Are you currently providing direct service to people dealing with mental health issues?

Am I to imply that you feel my skills will be inadequate? Because you disagree with me in a forum? ROFL

It was a question.

See? Now that is hilarious. A question. An assumption. A clarification.

But also, see how that works--I've had people criticizing me for pages and pages now and I was on the defensive. Now imagine that I was a poster who came here with a problem and had been subject to nastiness and gifs for pages and pages. See how that kind of nonsense isn't necessary and blocks communication?