MFP has changed

tracysway

I have been on MFP for some time now and rarely post and know by posting this I am opening myself up for attacks. When I started on here other posters were encouraging and tried to motivate people now a lot just attack. I just finished reading the one "law school made me fat" and the op got attacked. I mean obviously the law school didn't make him eat bad, it did however cause a significant increase in stress which releases corticosteriods which increase belly fat and appetite. Studying did take away a lot of free time so maybe there wasn't much exercise. We also have no idea what else is happening in the posters life. In my opinion the op was looking for support and motivation not an attack on how there is no personal accountability. Just by coming to MFP the op is starting to take accountability. Wouldn't it be shameful if the op never came back because of the lack of kindness.
I am here to live better to maintain a healthy lifestyle not be shamed because in my past I gained weight because I lacked time to exercise while going through grad school, working full time, and raising a family not to mention the seasonal depression. I'm sure all of us started on here to live a healthier life and what is healthier for one may not meet the same definition for someone else.
It would be nice if the MFP community could be more welcoming and less bashing.

makwich

I agree. No need to bash. If you have nothing positive or informative to add, don't add anything at all. I don't post because I just got tired of being ignored. Sniff.

seltzermint555

meh, there is a lot more to the site than the forums

Menecairiel

I believe that MFP is more than the community: it's also about the actual counting. I think that some people posting here are finding other things to blame for their weight gain. University, work, stress, ect. It is all in the tone of a post. Don't get me wrong, I know that the first step towards fitness and health is getting yourself sorted. But most will never get anywhere by blaming other things than themselves. I had a tendency to blame my surroundings and never lost a pound. Then I realised that I was in control over my life and weight and had will power. And lost weight.

(and then got onto maintenance, got lazy, put it back on...and so back to being in control again).

I think a lot of MFP is welcoming and warm. I just think that a lot of us have had enough of excuses because we have heard it all so many times. The worst is people asking for advice, yet finding excuses not to take the offered advice. And that is when the cats appear.

And by the way...good going on the weight loss, Tracey! Something is without any doubt working.

JulieMorelli

Well said, and I'm thankful that you reached out to me.

glennstoudt

It is a website, mostly for self accountability. A place to keep track of your food and exercise life if you want to.
There is no my mfp ego, standing, grading or other accountability other than to self. If you want to contribute to others lives, please do. If you are looking for information, please query and it will probably be answered. If you are lonely and need a friend that does not judge you, get a dog or cat.

George_Baileys_Ghost

(That said, yeah, people could use a bit more tact, but the Internet is much like the Middle East. There are spots where peace seems possible (Can we get a hand for Bono?), but at the end of the day, the news makes it seem like business as usual.)

Cranquistador

:indifferent:

PinkCupcakes84

Ahh no. I'll stay nasty and unwelcoming.

MizTerry

Oh my...

socajam

"If you are lonely and need a friend that does not judge you, get a dog or cat. "

I totally agree and whilst you are at it toughen yourself up. Its a cruel world outside of your home.

Derpes

It's all the same.....only the names will change.

SnuggleSmacks

I'm not sure that an expectation for people to hold your hand and enable you to avoid accountability is a viable part of sustainable weight loss.

DopeItUp

It is a little different but mostly improved. A few years back there were 30 threads a day on the benefits of idiocy like HCG. Eventually the bullies beat down a lot of the myths and craziness and I find MFP to actually be MORE useful and informative than in years past. There are a lot of prominent, knowledgeable members now and an army of people dedicated to destroying misinformation. Good changes all around. Some weak people see this as a bad thing but I don't know what world they are living in.

Kymmu

It just bad manners.
If you can't be nice or helpful, don't write anything.

Cranquistador

It's all the same.....only the names will change.

every day ...it seems we're wasting away.

Nory143

OP don't bother, these folks know it all, don't ya know. JK , I agree these people are brutal.

George_Baileys_Ghost

It just bad manners.
If you can't be nice or helpful, don't write anything.

If only the world defined words like "nice" and "helpful" the same way you did, you'd be much happier. I feel bad that it just isn't so. :flowerforyou:

pinkraynedropjacki

Oh noez...not another one

See THIS is a prime example. 3 posts in & it starts. It's like a magnet for hangry people.

futurejedi

I can't wait to leave work get home get outta this uniform and drink a beer, now thats a positive attitude

karmac0matic

Well, what do you expect on a site run by people who are spending so much time obsessing over everything they put into their bodies, people who are constantly hungry, hangry, angry, and all the things in between?

That being said, people should stop being doushhhhnuggets.

wheird

I'm going to answer seriously for a change.

From what I have seen since I joined in 2011 and what I have heard from members who were here before me, MFP has changed DRAMATICALLY for the better. The amount of misinformation about nutrition that was on MFP before then was absolutely terrible and there has been a core group of members who have worked very hard to educate others and help them get on a path to healthy and long term weight loss.

Is this always done in the most "carebear" of fashions? No. Most of the time it is done in a very matter-of-fact way that makes some people feel dumb for believing the nonsense that they used to believe and they start feeling bullied when someone laughs about them posting a question that has been answered hundreds, if not thousands, of times.

As for motivation, I would say that those "mean people" are incredibly motivating. They point out the logical flaws in a person's pity party and point out that they are avoiding responsibility.

oregonzoo

It's all the same.....only the names will change.

and every day seems we're wasting away

Cranquistador

It just bad manners.
If you can't be nice or helpful, don't write anything.

Even if nice or helpful means supporting something dangerous or inaccurate?

Derpes

It's all the same.....only the names will change.

every day ...it seems we're wasting away.

MFP is.....

Another place where the faces are so cold

Derpes

It just bad manners.
If you can't be nice or helpful, don't write anything.

Even if nice or helpful means supporting something dangerous or inaccurate?

WAIT, are you calling advice dog DANGEROUS?

oregonzoo

Jokes aside I've been on here since 2011 on and off.
the only thing that has changed is the excuses.

people are just as kind and just as rude and just as honest as they have always been

It sucks when people won't even take good advice

takeitsleazybraj

When you can't be lean, be mean

_HeartsOnFire_

I'm just gonna leave this right here.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1088600-dear-mean-people-of-mfp?hl=dear+mean+people

If someone is doing something that's potentially harmful, or is posting pseudoscience I'm going to call them out on it. Because it's not just for the OP's benefit, it's for the lurkers as well.

This is like the second "mean people" thread today. If you don't like the forums, join groups, write on your MFP blog, or in your newsfeed. There are several ways to steer clear of the "mean people".

Blunt honesty =/= mean
Disagreement =/= mean
Gif's =/= mean (usually these are used to inject some humor to help lighten any "moods" threads may be heading in}

No one here needs their hands held, coddled, enabled, etc. People don't need things sugar coated. I'll agree not everything is necessarily said in the nicest way, however, a lot of times those responses end up because it's the same thread day in, day out, over and over. People are just trying to help, they take time out of their own lives to go into threads. I have a few friends that get told they are mean, rude, etc. When the fact is the OP just didn't hear what they wanted to hear and got all butthurt.

ETA: And by moods, threads don't really have moods, because text doesn't have tone, it's all in people's perceptions of what they read, and usually they read it the way they want to and interpret it to be mean/nice/hostile, where someone else reading the same thing may perceive it completely differently. If the people who created and the ones who respond in threads would actually keep their minds open, keep emotion out of it and realize it's not all about them...maybe things would go smoother.

MickeyCastello

Seems to me threads like this one really brings 'em out.

SnuggleSmacks

It just bad manners.
If you can't be nice or helpful, don't write anything.

I find it very nice and helpful when bad information is corrected so that I am not duped into derailing my progress or giving up foods I love unnecessarily.