MFP has changed

24567…16

Replies

  • PinkCupcakes84
    PinkCupcakes84 Posts: 235 Member
    This is like the second "mean people" thread today. If you don't like the forums, join groups, write on your MFP blog, or in your newsfeed. There are several ways to steer clear of the "mean people".


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  • kethry70
    kethry70 Posts: 404 Member
    It just bad manners.
    If you can't be nice or helpful, don't write anything.

    I find it very nice and helpful when bad information is corrected so that I am not duped into derailing my progress or giving up foods I love necessarily.

    Ditto! :drinker:
  • sugarlemonpie
    sugarlemonpie Posts: 311 Member
    I agree and wish people were more encouraging on here. A lot of people are to quick to assume things, neglecting the fact that there are many upset, depressed or just fragile people who genuinely need support and help. By reaching out on the forums, maybe they don't have the support in their everyday lives. I think most people could benefit from just being kinder in general.

    I dunno, it depends on what they're saying though. If someone says "my weight has increased and I don't know why" then someone doesn't bother to read the post and immediately says "calories out > calories in" it's rather discouraging to that person because then they're like "Well I'm just stupid then and will never be able to do this right.". Rather than just saying "You're doing it wrong", it's more helpful to direct them to helpful information...
  • AzaleaNicole38
    AzaleaNicole38 Posts: 102 Member
    I don't know if MFP has changed. There's been mean people ever since I can remember.
    I've been on and off for 3 years.

    I will say while I appreciate the knowledge and advice people are ready to willingly give, people have really forgotten tact.
    It's not what you say, it's how you say it.

    But I guess the internets.
  • Athijade
    Athijade Posts: 3,300 Member
    If anything, these boards have gotten better all the time. Once things are beaten down enough, then people start to learn. As members, it is only right that we let other members know that something is unhealthy, a hoax, an excuse, or any number of things. If someone posts for "help" then they will get it. The issue then becomes when the OP decides they don't like the advice being given, even if that advice is correct. Nope, they just want people to pat them on the back and tell them "good job" even if they are eating 400 calories net a day, wasting their money on pills, or destroying their body with HCG.

    If you are not willing to hear ALL opinions, then don't post in a public forum. Post it on your blog or to your friends where you can filter your answers.

    And seriously, another one of these threads? Next time, use the search so we can all just skip yet more whining.
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  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    So, for those of you complaining. What have you done to help people on here?
  • tmj4477
    tmj4477 Posts: 145 Member
    There are jerks everywhere not just on the internet. people gotta learn how to take the good with the bad. I have actually received more good than bad and I'll continue using the forums for inspiration
  • SnuggleSmacks
    SnuggleSmacks Posts: 3,731 Member
    2637564bd39da8c743c8f27b73309395.jpg


    I have very rarely actually seen anyone on this forum be mean. I've seen them call others out on their bulls*** and correct myths and misunderstandings, but there's been almost zero name-calling, insulting or flaming. It's actually quite impressive if you've had any experience at all on the internet...usually adults act like children when they're disguised by the anonymity of the interwebs.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    You've made 40 posts in the past 5+ years. That's less than one per month.

    I don't think you have enough experience with the forums to make any definitive judgments about it.

    ETA:
    So, for those of you complaining. What have you done to help people on here?
    Also, ^this.
  • ChristineRoze
    ChristineRoze Posts: 212 Member
    This forum is nothing compared to whats really out there in the interwebs :P

    As said by everyone, i would rather accurate and straight forward answers on here then have someone try to make me feel better, i have family and friends for that haha.
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
    So, for those of you complaining. What have you done to help people on here?

    Wrestler_be49d2_1020222.gif
  • Kymmu
    Kymmu Posts: 1,650 Member
    I suppose there are ways of using language to give advice from one point of view and encourage others, or to humiliate and berate those who are asking for help.
    The same information will be out there, but the questioner might not be able to rationalise it if they feel attacked.
  • Nory143
    Nory143 Posts: 53 Member
    So the post in question by the OP "laws school made me fat" was a introductory post by a newbie. What a welcoming to have 50 different people smack him around a bit.
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
    2637564bd39da8c743c8f27b73309395.jpg


    I have very rarely actually seen anyone on this forum be mean. I've seen them call others out on their bulls*** and correct myths and misunderstandings, but there's been almost zero name-calling, insulting or flaming. It's actually quite impressive if you've had any experience at all on the internet...usually adults act like children when they're disguised by the anonymity of the interwebs.

    The ones I've seen where people are name calling are the ones that are usually saying everyone's mean to them.
  • WLG1974
    WLG1974 Posts: 90
    I don't give two dog turds what people have to say.

    I keep it movin'.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    So the post in question by the OP "laws school made me fat" was a introductory post by a newbie. What a welcoming to have 50 different people smack him around a bit.

    24 posts since August 2011, at least one of which is this one chastising others for how *they* interact in the forums.

    Perhaps you could lead by example instead?
  • Nory143
    Nory143 Posts: 53 Member
    Most are just being a cheerleader and congratulating folks...not tearing them down, boo.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    So the post in question by the OP "laws school made me fat" was a introductory post by a newbie. What a welcoming to have 50 different people smack him around a bit.

    I know. I think I've seen two deactivates and one "i'll just go back to lurking" in the past 3 days.
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
    So the post in question by the OP "laws school made me fat" was a introductory post by a newbie. What a welcoming to have 50 different people smack him around a bit.

    24 posts since August 2011, at least one of which is this one chastising others for how *they* interact in the forums.

    Perhaps you could lead by example instead?

    Deanohyou.gif
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
    Most are just being a cheerleader and congratulating folks...not tearing them down, boo.

    So if someone is looking for pats on the head for only eating 500 calories a day, you'll cheer them on and not call their harmful behavior into question? Really?

    jennifer-lawrence-10.gif

    Sometimes people don't need pats on the head, or cheerleaders. Sometimes they need to be told the things they don't want to hear but need to hear.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    Still waiting for people to tell me what they have actually done to help people on the forums.


    I'm waiting.


    (No one ever answers this, which is telling.)
  • Nory143
    Nory143 Posts: 53 Member
    Most are just being a cheerleader and congratulating folks...not tearing them down, boo.

    So if someone is looking for pats on the head for only eating 500 calories a day, you'll cheer them on and not call their harmful behavior into question? Really?

    jennifer-lawrence-10.gif

    Sometimes people don't need pats on the head, or cheerleaders. Sometimes they need to be told the things they don't want to hear but need to hear.

    No one is saying to pat people on the back for doing something that may hurt them, but you don't have give them the smack down. That is all.
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
    I'm just gonna also leave this link here...

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1236267-why-does-everyone-hate-me-the-forum-survival-guide?hl=survive+forums
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
    Most are just being a cheerleader and congratulating folks...not tearing them down, boo.

    So if someone is looking for pats on the head for only eating 500 calories a day, you'll cheer them on and not call their harmful behavior into question? Really?

    jennifer-lawrence-10.gif

    Sometimes people don't need pats on the head, or cheerleaders. Sometimes they need to be told the things they don't want to hear but need to hear.

    No one is saying to pat people on the back for doing something that may hurt them, but you don't have give them the smack down. That is all.

    Again, sometimes people need to hear what they don't want to hear.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Most are just being a cheerleader and congratulating folks...not tearing them down, boo.

    So most of 23 posts in almost three years?

    Are you just pacing yourself?

    Seriously, if you feel so strongly about the proper way to interact in the forums, you're not going to make a difference with one post every six weeks. Get in there...show them how it's done...be the change you want to see in others.

    Or continue lecturing others on what you think they're doing wrong under the mistaken belief that it will make a difference.

    Personally, I think you'll make more progress with the former...

    ...but that's just my opinion.
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
    Still waiting for people to tell me what they have actually done to help people on the forums.


    I'm waiting.


    (No one ever answers this, which is telling.)

    I think you'll be waiting a very long time...maybe as long as this...
    hF30B181B
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Still waiting for people to tell me what they have actually done to help people on the forums.


    I'm waiting.


    (No one ever answers this, which is telling.)

    Tim I help people. I try to point out flawed thinking, and mistakes in logic, and misinformation. I may have been called "mean" in the past. However, even I have to admit there is some underlying truth to these complaints and I'm more than a little bothered that some people who play this game too often, too zealously and too passionately and sloppily are only pretending to not know exactly what is meant by these repeated complaints.

    Just because the description is elusive and diffficult to pin down or usmsc is not here today to spell it out clearly again, does not mean it is not happening.

    OP did not even mention misinformation or helping along bad ideas and that's what it's been diverted to. She was clear in what her complaint was about but it's just being turned into something else so some people can feel better about their tactics.

    There may be an "army" of people trying to dispel misinformation, but there are also some mercenaries just bent on using smoke and mirrors to activate people to be completely hurtful and personal to some others who they have decided are just worthy of public humiliation.

    It's happening too much. People are aware and they are trying to make themselves understood. I for one want to understand the difference.
  • Nory143
    Nory143 Posts: 53 Member
    Most are just being a cheerleader and congratulating folks...not tearing them down, boo.

    So most of 23 posts in almost three years?

    Are you just pacing yourself?

    Seriously, if you feel so strongly about the proper way to interact in the forums, you're not going to make a difference with one post every six weeks. Get in there...show them how it's done...be the change you want to see in others.

    Or continue lecturing others on what you think they're doing wrong under the mistaken belief that it will make a difference.

    Personally, I think you'll make more progress with the former...

    ...but that's just my opinion.

    Everyone is allowed an opinion, you know what they say. I'm sure it will make no difference to anyone other than to the OP. Thank you and goodnight.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Most are just being a cheerleader and congratulating folks...not tearing them down, boo.

    So most of 23 posts in almost three years?

    Are you just pacing yourself?

    Seriously, if you feel so strongly about the proper way to interact in the forums, you're not going to make a difference with one post every six weeks. Get in there...show them how it's done...be the change you want to see in others.

    Or continue lecturing others on what you think they're doing wrong under the mistaken belief that it will make a difference.

    Personally, I think you'll make more progress with the former...

    ...but that's just my opinion.

    Everyone is allowed an opinion, you know what they say. I'm sure it will make no difference to anyone other than to the OP. Thank you and goodnight.

    I'm kind of in for hearing the opinions of people who don't post often, especially after noticing in recent days some people saying out loud that they are deciding to become "lurkers" for fear of being made to feel stupid for asking questions.

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