MFP has changed
Replies
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"If you are lonely and need a friend that does not judge you, get a dog or cat. "
I totally agree and whilst you are at it toughen yourself up. Its a cruel world outside of your home.
So MFP can't be different? Does everything need to be horrid?
Even if nice or helpful means supporting something dangerous or inaccurate?It just bad manners.
If you can't be nice or helpful, don't write anything.
There are nice ways of communicating even if the message isn't particularly nice. Education works a lot better than a smackdown. Not too long ago, some people were smug and happy about chasing away another newbie through utterly horrible posts. I believe in honesty, sometimes extremely blunt honesty, but such nastiness is just sad.
Reference please. (I see these claims often, but almost never are they supported with an actual link to the egregious behavior. I'm not saying it didn't happen, but it would strengthen your argument considerably if you could provide some support.)
I can't remember the thread, but it did happen. It was a newbie being a jerk.
So the inevitable conclusion is that the site veterans are bad people though, right? I mean, that seems to be the consensus.0 -
"If you are lonely and need a friend that does not judge you, get a dog or cat. "
I totally agree and whilst you are at it toughen yourself up. Its a cruel world outside of your home.
So MFP can't be different? Does everything need to be horrid?
Even if nice or helpful means supporting something dangerous or inaccurate?It just bad manners.
If you can't be nice or helpful, don't write anything.
There are nice ways of communicating even if the message isn't particularly nice. Education works a lot better than a smackdown. Not too long ago, some people were smug and happy about chasing away another newbie through utterly horrible posts. I believe in honesty, sometimes extremely blunt honesty, but such nastiness is just sad.
I have yet to see a "smackdown" when things start. What I see are people trying to educate at first and then getting frustrated and upset when the OP (and others) are not willing to take said advice or argue against it. THAT is when people get "mean" (though I wouldn't even use that word then honestly). That is the VAST majority of posts that people call "mean". How about instead of blaming those who try to help, we blame those who refuse to listen and continue to push their dangerous and unhealthy schemes?0 -
"Be the change that you wish to see in the world." - Mahatma GandhiI have been on MFP for some time now and rarely post and know by posting this I am opening myself up for attacks. When I started on here other posters were encouraging and tried to motivate people now a lot just attack. I just finished reading the one "law school made me fat" and the op got attacked. I mean obviously the law school didn't make him eat bad, it did however cause a significant increase in stress which releases corticosteriods which increase belly fat and appetite. Studying did take away a lot of free time so maybe there wasn't much exercise. We also have no idea what else is happening in the posters life. In my opinion the op was looking for support and motivation not an attack on how there is no personal accountability. Just by coming to MFP the op is starting to take accountability. Wouldn't it be shameful if the op never came back because of the lack of kindness.
I am here to live better to maintain a healthy lifestyle not be shamed because in my past I gained weight because I lacked time to exercise while going through grad school, working full time, and raising a family not to mention the seasonal depression. I'm sure all of us started on here to live a healthier life and what is healthier for one may not meet the same definition for someone else.
It would be nice if the MFP community could be more welcoming and less bashing.
With a post count of 40 since 2009 I wonder how many times you have reached out to get help, how many of those have been good and how many have been bad?
And how often have you offered support? How many times has that support been declined rather than accepted?
These statistics are the same for nearly every yammering, whining poster accusing the community of being nothing but meanies. Doesn't it get boring to judge others so heavily when you sit up there on your fine shiny horse? Rhetorical question, don't bother replying.0 -
"If you are lonely and need a friend that does not judge you, get a dog or cat. "
I totally agree and whilst you are at it toughen yourself up. Its a cruel world outside of your home.
So MFP can't be different? Does everything need to be horrid?
Even if nice or helpful means supporting something dangerous or inaccurate?It just bad manners.
If you can't be nice or helpful, don't write anything.
There are nice ways of communicating even if the message isn't particularly nice. Education works a lot better than a smackdown. Not too long ago, some people were smug and happy about chasing away another newbie through utterly horrible posts. I believe in honesty, sometimes extremely blunt honesty, but such nastiness is just sad.
Reference please. (I see these claims often, but almost never are they supported with an actual link to the egregious behavior. I'm not saying it didn't happen, but it would strengthen your argument considerably if you could provide some support.)
I can't remember the thread, but it did happen. It was a newbie being a jerk.
So the inevitable conclusion is that the site veterans are bad, pop tart eating people though, right? I mean, that seems to be the consensus.
Isn't that what you meant to say?0 -
So the inevitable conclusion is that the site veterans are bad people though, right? I mean, that seems to be the consensus.
I see a lot of veterans justifying their poor behavior because they've seen a kajillion billion zillion posts on the same topic before. My question is always the same: so? What is old news to a veteran might be new and scary to a newbie. A little courtesy couldn't hurt, even if it's just the courtesy of not posting.I have yet to see a "smackdown" when things start. What I see are people trying to educate at first and then getting frustrated and upset when the OP (and others) are not willing to take said advice or argue against it. THAT is when people get "mean" (though I wouldn't even use that word then honestly). That is the VAST majority of posts that people call "mean". How about instead of blaming those who try to help, we blame those who refuse to listen and continue to push their dangerous and unhealthy schemes?
No offense, but if you haven't seen smackdowns, then you haven't been paying attention. Or maybe you're doing the smacking down. There are plenty of meangirls (and boys) out there, if you just look. I'm honestly not blaming anyone, since there are plenty of people who refuse to take good advice; however, there are just as many people who assume their advice won't be taken so they make nasty posts from the beginning.0 -
"If you are lonely and need a friend that does not judge you, get a dog or cat. "
I totally agree and whilst you are at it toughen yourself up. Its a cruel world outside of your home.
So MFP can't be different? Does everything need to be horrid?
Even if nice or helpful means supporting something dangerous or inaccurate?It just bad manners.
If you can't be nice or helpful, don't write anything.
There are nice ways of communicating even if the message isn't particularly nice. Education works a lot better than a smackdown. Not too long ago, some people were smug and happy about chasing away another newbie through utterly horrible posts. I believe in honesty, sometimes extremely blunt honesty, but such nastiness is just sad.
Reference please. (I see these claims often, but almost never are they supported with an actual link to the egregious behavior. I'm not saying it didn't happen, but it would strengthen your argument considerably if you could provide some support.)
I can't remember the thread, but it did happen. It was a newbie being a jerk.
So the inevitable conclusion is that the site veterans are bad, pop tart eating people though, right? I mean, that seems to be the consensus.
Isn't that what you meant to say?
Grenade!0 -
So how heavily has that law school thread been sanitized, cause I just went through it and didn't see much of anything other than some people harping on about taking responsibility for your own habits and not blaming external forces. And the only time I've seen users cheer someone deactivating is when that person has first been thoroughly obnoxious and hateful to responders who were only being honest. Or when the OP starts a mean people thread, calls everyone a bunch of names and tells everyone how awful they are and how they should all be perfect and awesome like the OP.0
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So how heavily has that law school thread been sanitized, cause I just went through it and didn't see much of anything other than some people harping on about taking responsibility for your own habits and not blaming external forces. And the only time I've seen users cheer someone deactivating is when that person has first been thoroughly obnoxious and hateful to responders who were only being honest. Or when the OP starts a mean people thread, calls everyone a bunch of names and tells everyone how awful they are and how they should all be perfect and awesome like the OP.
I have no idea how it's been sanitized, since I won't go back to read it again. I just remember being appalled at the treatment of a newbie and the celebration that he'd been run off. No matter how you look at it, that's heinous--a person comes in who obviously needs help and who now won't get it because some people were outrageous to him/her. Seriously: you're annoyed that a person has an external locus of control and the best you can do is give that person another reason to blame outside forces for being unmotivated to lose weight? That's the kind of person who most needs guidance to learn about taking responsibility, not derision, yet derision is the most common tactic used here. Whether the people who post here want to hear it or not, there is a lot of nastiness here and some that approaches bullying. I know, I know, no one forces anyone to read the forums, but I have yet to meet anyone whose knuckles have been rapped with a ruler for not making a cruel, snarky, or mean-spirited post, either.0 -
OP has a point - I understand people get frustrated at newbies for not using searching facility and for then getting annoyed when they don't get answers they want but seriously why is everyone so arrogant and *****y. it doesn't make you look hard just silly little kids
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OP has a point - I understand people get frustrated at newbies for not using searching facility and for then getting annoyed when they don't get answers they want but seriously why is everyone so arrogant and *****y. it doesn't make you look hard just silly little kids
.
But to whom is this chastisement directed? If you don't specify, then everyone who has ever offered help that was vigorously rejected thinks they're the audience for it...when more realistically, it's a very small number of members.
TL;DR - Please direct your comments to those who deserve them.0 -
OP has a point - I understand people get frustrated at newbies for not using searching facility and for then getting annoyed when they don't get answers they want but seriously why is everyone so arrogant and *****y. it doesn't make you look hard just silly little kids
.
But to whom is this chastisement directed? If you don't specify, then everyone who has ever offered help that was vigorously rejected thinks they're the audience for it...when more realistically, it's a very small number of members.
TL;DR - Please direct your comments to those who deserve them.
its not aimed at individuals it is a general observation/statement in regards to several people on the forums. As I said I understand why people get frustrated but then why do people feel need to be aggressive about it. you can easily make a point without acting like children.0 -
OP has a point - I understand people get frustrated at newbies for not using searching facility and for then getting annoyed when they don't get answers they want but seriously why is everyone so arrogant and *****y. it doesn't make you look hard just silly little kids
.
^^ This. The first day I was here, I did use the exercise database and search function and could not find my answer. I wanted to know how to figure calories burned for hand-milking goats--I work on a dairy goat microfarm, so it was important for me to figure it out. In less than five minutes someone suggested that I look under "T" in the database for "torturing farm animals." That was how I knew what the climate would be here. Fortunately, I can generally hold my own against judgmental idiots, but some people can't. I'm also not afraid to use the Report Post link. Some people are. It's just a shame that more people can't be as helpful as the people have been in my "High Protein . . . " thread in the Food forum. The forums would be a much nicer place if they could be.0 -
Jof: Those threads are typically pulled due to the gong show they turn into. It's hard to link to them after the fact.
Everyone: Earlier this week there was one day with three OP deactivations. The reality is that there is an overwhelming amount of misinformation out there and it is easier to find than actual accurate information. It shouldn't be surprising that so many newbies come here asking about quick loss fixes. It's also not surprising that people who have been around get frustrated.
While tone can't be easily interpreted, the words chosen to convey the message are important. It's like using a sledgehammer to drive in a finishing nail. Just my condensed thoughts here."If you are lonely and need a friend that does not judge you, get a dog or cat. "
I totally agree and whilst you are at it toughen yourself up. Its a cruel world outside of your home.
So MFP can't be different? Does everything need to be horrid?
Even if nice or helpful means supporting something dangerous or inaccurate?It just bad manners.
If you can't be nice or helpful, don't write anything.
There are nice ways of communicating even if the message isn't particularly nice. Education works a lot better than a smackdown. Not too long ago, some people were smug and happy about chasing away another newbie through utterly horrible posts. I believe in honesty, sometimes extremely blunt honesty, but such nastiness is just sad.
Reference please. (I see these claims often, but almost never are they supported with an actual link to the egregious behavior. I'm not saying it didn't happen, but it would strengthen your argument considerably if you could provide some support.)0 -
OP has a point - I understand people get frustrated at newbies for not using searching facility and for then getting annoyed when they don't get answers they want but seriously why is everyone so arrogant and *****y. it doesn't make you look hard just silly little kids
.
But to whom is this chastisement directed? If you don't specify, then everyone who has ever offered help that was vigorously rejected thinks they're the audience for it...when more realistically, it's a very small number of members.
TL;DR - Please direct your comments to those who deserve them.
its not aimed at individuals it is a general observation/statement in regards to several people on the forums. As I said I understand why people get frustrated but then why do people feel need to be aggressive about it. you can easily make a point without acting like children.
I contend that blanket statements about others like this do more harm than good.
All of this contention because people are too reluctant to call out "several people" directly. Call them out when you see it. The "mean" people usually do...or at least *I* do.
Also, make a note of when it happens so you can provide examples of this behavior...(even though 98.44% of the time, their interpretations of the examples are very different than mine).0 -
OP has a point - I understand people get frustrated at newbies for not using searching facility and for then getting annoyed when they don't get answers they want but seriously why is everyone so arrogant and *****y. it doesn't make you look hard just silly little kids
.
But to whom is this chastisement directed? If you don't specify, then everyone who has ever offered help that was vigorously rejected thinks they're the audience for it...when more realistically, it's a very small number of members.
TL;DR - Please direct your comments to those who deserve them.
its not aimed at individuals it is a general observation/statement in regards to several people on the forums. As I said I understand why people get frustrated but then why do people feel need to be aggressive about it. you can easily make a point without acting like children.
I contend that blanket statements about others like this do more harm than good.
All of this contention because people are too reluctant to call out "several people" directly. Call them out when you see it. The "mean" people usually do...or at least *I* do.
Also, make a note of when it happens so you can provide examples of this behavior...(even though 98.44% of the time, their interpretations of the examples are very different than mine).
I don't need to call out anyone! as I said its directed at no one in particular.
my statement was clear people like to act like children and that's fine - I just don't understand the need for it. simples
If that's the way you are then that's fine - we are all different - I just simply giving my opinion to say that I actually don't understand it or feel it is needed, however in life we have people who are argumentative, or think that only their opinion is correct or the feel the need to call out people - I mean seriously if I called out all the people who had a bad thing to say the list could be over 1,000 names.
anyway this is a debate that will rumble on and there will be many more I am sure.0 -
But to whom is this chastisement directed? If you don't specify, then everyone who has ever offered help that was vigorously rejected thinks they're the audience for it...when more realistically, it's a very small number of members.
TL;DR - Please direct your comments to those who deserve them.
If you didn't read it, then you have no business commenting--seriously. That's how a lot of fights get started on the forums. It really is a small number of members who cause the problems, but as with anyplace, the most vocal members are the ones we remember. As I said, I'm not perfect and can be blunt and direct, but I generally try to be helpful. There have been some people about whom I've gotten PMs, warning me that "they are like this in every thread and are just trolling," who just seem to take pleasure in being hurtful and doing so intentionally.
I contend that blanket statements about others like this do more harm than good.
All of this contention because people are too reluctant to call out "several people" directly. Call them out when you see it. The "mean" people usually do...or at least *I* do.
Also, make a note of when it happens so you can provide examples of this behavior...(even though 98.44% of the time, their interpretations of the examples are very different than mine).
The problem with calling someone out on his/her behavior is that many times it calls down the wrath of the forum onto your head. EVERYONE in the thread seems to have to take a side, usually that the person protesting is a whinybaby who is accusing people of being "mean" and there are "no mean people" on the forums. That's when the name calling begins. When Voodoo Syxx was harassing me on one thread by calling me "delusional" and all kinds of horrible things, people decided it was okay now to pile on and, despite reports, the moderators didn't do much of anything. He followed me around for a little while and then I didn't see him. Maybe he put me on ignore--it would be nice to think he did. Unfortunately, he's not the only person to show such behavior and I was probably not his only target. As I said, I can take care of myself, but three deactivated accounts in one day tells me that a number of people probably can't handle the heat and may not lose the weight they need to lose because of a lack of helpful support.0 -
OP has a point - I understand people get frustrated at newbies for not using searching facility and for then getting annoyed when they don't get answers they want but seriously why is everyone so arrogant and *****y. it doesn't make you look hard just silly little kids
.
But to whom is this chastisement directed? If you don't specify, then everyone who has ever offered help that was vigorously rejected thinks they're the audience for it...when more realistically, it's a very small number of members.
TL;DR - Please direct your comments to those who deserve them.
its not aimed at individuals it is a general observation/statement in regards to several people on the forums. As I said I understand why people get frustrated but then why do people feel need to be aggressive about it. you can easily make a point without acting like children.
I contend that blanket statements about others like this do more harm than good.
All of this contention because people are too reluctant to call out "several people" directly. Call them out when you see it. The "mean" people usually do...or at least *I* do.
Also, make a note of when it happens so you can provide examples of this behavior...(even though 98.44% of the time, their interpretations of the examples are very different than mine).
I don't need to call out anyone! as I said its directed at no one in particular.
my statement was clear people like to act like children and that's fine - I just don't understand the need for it. simples
If that's the way you are then that's fine - we are all different - I just simply giving my opinion to say that I actually don't understand it or feel it is needed, however in life we have people who are argumentative, or think that only their opinion is correct or the feel the need to call out people - I mean seriously if I called out all the people who had a bad thing to say the list could be over 1,000 names.
anyway this is a debate that will rumble on and there will be many more I am sure.
>1000 MFP members are behaving in the forums in a way you disapprove of?
Have you considered that perhaps it isn't them?0 -
So how heavily has that law school thread been sanitized, cause I just went through it and didn't see much of anything other than some people harping on about taking responsibility for your own habits and not blaming external forces. And the only time I've seen users cheer someone deactivating is when that person has first been thoroughly obnoxious and hateful to responders who were only being honest. Or when the OP starts a mean people thread, calls everyone a bunch of names and tells everyone how awful they are and how they should all be perfect and awesome like the OP.
I read it, and on page 3 he thanked people and was done with the thread. He is in law school so he probably isn't going back to defend any aspect of his OP. He was fine with the posters so you and I must have missed something.0 -
OP has a point - I understand people get frustrated at newbies for not using searching facility and for then getting annoyed when they don't get answers they want but seriously why is everyone so arrogant and *****y. it doesn't make you look hard just silly little kids
.
But to whom is this chastisement directed? If you don't specify, then everyone who has ever offered help that was vigorously rejected thinks they're the audience for it...when more realistically, it's a very small number of members.
TL;DR - Please direct your comments to those who deserve them.
its not aimed at individuals it is a general observation/statement in regards to several people on the forums. As I said I understand why people get frustrated but then why do people feel need to be aggressive about it. you can easily make a point without acting like children.
I contend that blanket statements about others like this do more harm than good.
All of this contention because people are too reluctant to call out "several people" directly. Call them out when you see it. The "mean" people usually do...or at least *I* do.
Also, make a note of when it happens so you can provide examples of this behavior...(even though 98.44% of the time, their interpretations of the examples are very different than mine).
^^This. Also, I think we need to address semantics here. Are people on here blunt, yes, rude, yes, snarky, yes. I can be all of the above at times depending on the situation. What I rarely see on here is people being mean, as in intentionally vindictive and hateful. I fully support calling out people who are being mean. Calling out people for having a delivery style you just don't like, meh. Perky people annoy me to no end, but I can usually manage to interact with them without resorting rage quitting or name calling. It really just isn't the responsibility of everyone to walk on eggshells to protect the feelings of a few. There is an ignore user option for a reason.0 -
And posting these general threads directed at everyone is more helpful? The frequency is up on almost one each day.
But to whom is this chastisement directed? If you don't specify, then everyone who has ever offered help that was vigorously rejected thinks they're the audience for it...when more realistically, it's a very small number of members.
TL;DR - Please direct your comments to those who deserve them.
If you didn't read it, then you have no business commenting--seriously. That's how a lot of fights get started on the forums. It really is a small number of members who cause the problems, but as with anyplace, the most vocal members are the ones we remember. As I said, I'm not perfect and can be blunt and direct, but I generally try to be helpful. There have been some people about whom I've gotten PMs, warning me that "they are like this in every thread and are just trolling," who just seem to take pleasure in being hurtful and doing so intentionally.
I contend that blanket statements about others like this do more harm than good.
All of this contention because people are too reluctant to call out "several people" directly. Call them out when you see it. The "mean" people usually do...or at least *I* do.
Also, make a note of when it happens so you can provide examples of this behavior...(even though 98.44% of the time, their interpretations of the examples are very different than mine).
The problem with calling someone out on his/her behavior is that many times it calls down the wrath of the forum onto your head. EVERYONE in the thread seems to have to take a side, usually that the person protesting is a whinybaby who is accusing people of being "mean" and there are "no mean people" on the forums. That's when the name calling begins. When Voodoo Syxx was harassing me on one thread by calling me "delusional" and all kinds of horrible things, people decided it was okay now to pile on and, despite reports, the moderators didn't do much of anything. He followed me around for a little while and then I didn't see him. Maybe he put me on ignore--it would be nice to think he did. Unfortunately, he's not the only person to show such behavior and I was probably not his only target. As I said, I can take care of myself, but three deactivated accounts in one day tells me that a number of people probably can't handle the heat and may not lose the weight they need to lose because of a lack of helpful support.
I'm with jof on this one; take up the problem with the person in question. And don't forget to look in the mirror when doing so.0 -
OP has a point - I understand people get frustrated at newbies for not using searching facility and for then getting annoyed when they don't get answers they want but seriously why is everyone so arrogant and *****y. it doesn't make you look hard just silly little kids
.
But to whom is this chastisement directed? If you don't specify, then everyone who has ever offered help that was vigorously rejected thinks they're the audience for it...when more realistically, it's a very small number of members.
TL;DR - Please direct your comments to those who deserve them.
its not aimed at individuals it is a general observation/statement in regards to several people on the forums. As I said I understand why people get frustrated but then why do people feel need to be aggressive about it. you can easily make a point without acting like children.
I contend that blanket statements about others like this do more harm than good.
All of this contention because people are too reluctant to call out "several people" directly. Call them out when you see it. The "mean" people usually do...or at least *I* do.
Also, make a note of when it happens so you can provide examples of this behavior...(even though 98.44% of the time, their interpretations of the examples are very different than mine).
I don't need to call out anyone! as I said its directed at no one in particular.
my statement was clear people like to act like children and that's fine - I just don't understand the need for it. simples
If that's the way you are then that's fine - we are all different - I just simply giving my opinion to say that I actually don't understand it or feel it is needed, however in life we have people who are argumentative, or think that only their opinion is correct or the feel the need to call out people - I mean seriously if I called out all the people who had a bad thing to say the list could be over 1,000 names.
anyway this is a debate that will rumble on and there will be many more I am sure.
>1000 MFP members are behaving in the forums in a way you disapprove of?
Have you considered that perhaps it isn't them?
omg you have proven my point!
Well done
Gold star has been sent to you!0 -
You speak exactly like the people you criticize.OP has a point - I understand people get frustrated at newbies for not using searching facility and for then getting annoyed when they don't get answers they want but seriously why is everyone so arrogant and *****y. it doesn't make you look hard just silly little kids
.
But to whom is this chastisement directed? If you don't specify, then everyone who has ever offered help that was vigorously rejected thinks they're the audience for it...when more realistically, it's a very small number of members.
TL;DR - Please direct your comments to those who deserve them.
its not aimed at individuals it is a general observation/statement in regards to several people on the forums. As I said I understand why people get frustrated but then why do people feel need to be aggressive about it. you can easily make a point without acting like children.
I contend that blanket statements about others like this do more harm than good.
All of this contention because people are too reluctant to call out "several people" directly. Call them out when you see it. The "mean" people usually do...or at least *I* do.
Also, make a note of when it happens so you can provide examples of this behavior...(even though 98.44% of the time, their interpretations of the examples are very different than mine).
I don't need to call out anyone! as I said its directed at no one in particular.
my statement was clear people like to act like children and that's fine - I just don't understand the need for it. simples
If that's the way you are then that's fine - we are all different - I just simply giving my opinion to say that I actually don't understand it or feel it is needed, however in life we have people who are argumentative, or think that only their opinion is correct or the feel the need to call out people - I mean seriously if I called out all the people who had a bad thing to say the list could be over 1,000 names.
anyway this is a debate that will rumble on and there will be many more I am sure.
>1000 MFP members are behaving in the forums in a way you disapprove of?
Have you considered that perhaps it isn't them?
omg you have proven my point!
Well done
Gold star has been sent to you!0 -
OP has a point - I understand people get frustrated at newbies for not using searching facility and for then getting annoyed when they don't get answers they want but seriously why is everyone so arrogant and *****y. it doesn't make you look hard just silly little kids
.
But to whom is this chastisement directed? If you don't specify, then everyone who has ever offered help that was vigorously rejected thinks they're the audience for it...when more realistically, it's a very small number of members.
TL;DR - Please direct your comments to those who deserve them.
its not aimed at individuals it is a general observation/statement in regards to several people on the forums. As I said I understand why people get frustrated but then why do people feel need to be aggressive about it. you can easily make a point without acting like children.
I contend that blanket statements about others like this do more harm than good.
All of this contention because people are too reluctant to call out "several people" directly. Call them out when you see it. The "mean" people usually do...or at least *I* do.
Also, make a note of when it happens so you can provide examples of this behavior...(even though 98.44% of the time, their interpretations of the examples are very different than mine).
I don't need to call out anyone! as I said its directed at no one in particular.
my statement was clear people like to act like children and that's fine - I just don't understand the need for it. simples
If that's the way you are then that's fine - we are all different - I just simply giving my opinion to say that I actually don't understand it or feel it is needed, however in life we have people who are argumentative, or think that only their opinion is correct or the feel the need to call out people - I mean seriously if I called out all the people who had a bad thing to say the list could be over 1,000 names.
anyway this is a debate that will rumble on and there will be many more I am sure.
>1000 MFP members are behaving in the forums in a way you disapprove of?
Have you considered that perhaps it isn't them?
omg you have proven my point!
Well done
Gold star has been sent to you!
Actually...
...I think you just proved mine.0 -
I give that advice to my students almost every day, because high school students want to blame everyone but themselves for why they're not getting the results they want. If every single one of your teachers is mean to you and you're failing all of your classes, the problem probably isn't your teachers.OP has a point - I understand people get frustrated at newbies for not using searching facility and for then getting annoyed when they don't get answers they want but seriously why is everyone so arrogant and *****y. it doesn't make you look hard just silly little kids
.
But to whom is this chastisement directed? If you don't specify, then everyone who has ever offered help that was vigorously rejected thinks they're the audience for it...when more realistically, it's a very small number of members.
TL;DR - Please direct your comments to those who deserve them.
its not aimed at individuals it is a general observation/statement in regards to several people on the forums. As I said I understand why people get frustrated but then why do people feel need to be aggressive about it. you can easily make a point without acting like children.
I contend that blanket statements about others like this do more harm than good.
All of this contention because people are too reluctant to call out "several people" directly. Call them out when you see it. The "mean" people usually do...or at least *I* do.
Also, make a note of when it happens so you can provide examples of this behavior...(even though 98.44% of the time, their interpretations of the examples are very different than mine).
I don't need to call out anyone! as I said its directed at no one in particular.
my statement was clear people like to act like children and that's fine - I just don't understand the need for it. simples
If that's the way you are then that's fine - we are all different - I just simply giving my opinion to say that I actually don't understand it or feel it is needed, however in life we have people who are argumentative, or think that only their opinion is correct or the feel the need to call out people - I mean seriously if I called out all the people who had a bad thing to say the list could be over 1,000 names.
anyway this is a debate that will rumble on and there will be many more I am sure.
>1000 MFP members are behaving in the forums in a way you disapprove of?
Have you considered that perhaps it isn't them?
omg you have proven my point!
Well done
Gold star has been sent to you!0 -
And posting these general threads directed at everyone is more helpful? The frequency is up on almost one each day.
But to whom is this chastisement directed? If you don't specify, then everyone who has ever offered help that was vigorously rejected thinks they're the audience for it...when more realistically, it's a very small number of members.
TL;DR - Please direct your comments to those who deserve them.
If you didn't read it, then you have no business commenting--seriously. That's how a lot of fights get started on the forums. It really is a small number of members who cause the problems, but as with anyplace, the most vocal members are the ones we remember. As I said, I'm not perfect and can be blunt and direct, but I generally try to be helpful. There have been some people about whom I've gotten PMs, warning me that "they are like this in every thread and are just trolling," who just seem to take pleasure in being hurtful and doing so intentionally.
I contend that blanket statements about others like this do more harm than good.
All of this contention because people are too reluctant to call out "several people" directly. Call them out when you see it. The "mean" people usually do...or at least *I* do.
Also, make a note of when it happens so you can provide examples of this behavior...(even though 98.44% of the time, their interpretations of the examples are very different than mine).
The problem with calling someone out on his/her behavior is that many times it calls down the wrath of the forum onto your head. EVERYONE in the thread seems to have to take a side, usually that the person protesting is a whinybaby who is accusing people of being "mean" and there are "no mean people" on the forums. That's when the name calling begins. When Voodoo Syxx was harassing me on one thread by calling me "delusional" and all kinds of horrible things, people decided it was okay now to pile on and, despite reports, the moderators didn't do much of anything. He followed me around for a little while and then I didn't see him. Maybe he put me on ignore--it would be nice to think he did. Unfortunately, he's not the only person to show such behavior and I was probably not his only target. As I said, I can take care of myself, but three deactivated accounts in one day tells me that a number of people probably can't handle the heat and may not lose the weight they need to lose because of a lack of helpful support.
I'm with jof on this one; take up the problem with the person in question. And don't forget to look in the mirror when doing so.
as I said we all have different opinions.
again also as I said my post wasn't directed at anyone it was pointing out that people aren't very helpful all the time. also to be honest I am 29 not 6! calling out people is what kids do at school. Not my style. if someone did attack me personally I would say so but my statement was in general.0 -
I'm pretty sure that the "1000 names" was meant as hyperbole.
And posting these general threads directed at everyone is more helpful? The frequency is up on almost one each day.
I'm with jof on this one; take up the problem with the person in question. And don't forget to look in the mirror when doing so.
You don't see that as symptomatic? Why would people be making posts like these if there was no issue?0 -
You have it backwards. Mature adults calmly confront each other when they have a problem, ponder options, compromise, understand that not everyone thinks alike, and work on a solution. Granted not everyone here behaves like that, but neither do you when yelling out to nobody in particular that "mommyyyy, everyone is meeeaaan!!!" Solve the conflict when/if you have one, because this generalisation is nothing but passive-aggressive.
And posting these general threads directed at everyone is more helpful? The frequency is up on almost one each day.
But to whom is this chastisement directed? If you don't specify, then everyone who has ever offered help that was vigorously rejected thinks they're the audience for it...when more realistically, it's a very small number of members.
TL;DR - Please direct your comments to those who deserve them.
If you didn't read it, then you have no business commenting--seriously. That's how a lot of fights get started on the forums. It really is a small number of members who cause the problems, but as with anyplace, the most vocal members are the ones we remember. As I said, I'm not perfect and can be blunt and direct, but I generally try to be helpful. There have been some people about whom I've gotten PMs, warning me that "they are like this in every thread and are just trolling," who just seem to take pleasure in being hurtful and doing so intentionally.
I contend that blanket statements about others like this do more harm than good.
All of this contention because people are too reluctant to call out "several people" directly. Call them out when you see it. The "mean" people usually do...or at least *I* do.
Also, make a note of when it happens so you can provide examples of this behavior...(even though 98.44% of the time, their interpretations of the examples are very different than mine).
The problem with calling someone out on his/her behavior is that many times it calls down the wrath of the forum onto your head. EVERYONE in the thread seems to have to take a side, usually that the person protesting is a whinybaby who is accusing people of being "mean" and there are "no mean people" on the forums. That's when the name calling begins. When Voodoo Syxx was harassing me on one thread by calling me "delusional" and all kinds of horrible things, people decided it was okay now to pile on and, despite reports, the moderators didn't do much of anything. He followed me around for a little while and then I didn't see him. Maybe he put me on ignore--it would be nice to think he did. Unfortunately, he's not the only person to show such behavior and I was probably not his only target. As I said, I can take care of myself, but three deactivated accounts in one day tells me that a number of people probably can't handle the heat and may not lose the weight they need to lose because of a lack of helpful support.
I'm with jof on this one; take up the problem with the person in question. And don't forget to look in the mirror when doing so.
as I said we all have different opinions.
again also as I said my post wasn't directed at anyone it was pointing out that people aren't very helpful all the time. also to be honest I am 29 not 6! calling out people is what kids do at school. Not my style. if someone did attack me personally I would say so but my statement was in general.0 -
I give that advice to my students almost every day, because high school students want to blame everyone but themselves for why they're not getting the results they want. If every single one of your teachers is mean to you and you're failing all of your classes, the problem probably isn't your teachers.OP has a point - I understand people get frustrated at newbies for not using searching facility and for then getting annoyed when they don't get answers they want but seriously why is everyone so arrogant and *****y. it doesn't make you look hard just silly little kids
.
But to whom is this chastisement directed? If you don't specify, then everyone who has ever offered help that was vigorously rejected thinks they're the audience for it...when more realistically, it's a very small number of members.
TL;DR - Please direct your comments to those who deserve them.
its not aimed at individuals it is a general observation/statement in regards to several people on the forums. As I said I understand why people get frustrated but then why do people feel need to be aggressive about it. you can easily make a point without acting like children.
I contend that blanket statements about others like this do more harm than good.
All of this contention because people are too reluctant to call out "several people" directly. Call them out when you see it. The "mean" people usually do...or at least *I* do.
Also, make a note of when it happens so you can provide examples of this behavior...(even though 98.44% of the time, their interpretations of the examples are very different than mine).
I don't need to call out anyone! as I said its directed at no one in particular.
my statement was clear people like to act like children and that's fine - I just don't understand the need for it. simples
If that's the way you are then that's fine - we are all different - I just simply giving my opinion to say that I actually don't understand it or feel it is needed, however in life we have people who are argumentative, or think that only their opinion is correct or the feel the need to call out people - I mean seriously if I called out all the people who had a bad thing to say the list could be over 1,000 names.
anyway this is a debate that will rumble on and there will be many more I am sure.
>1000 MFP members are behaving in the forums in a way you disapprove of?
Have you considered that perhaps it isn't them?
omg you have proven my point!
Well done
Gold star has been sent to you!
Firstly, I haven't said everyone against me! I have only ever had one person be bit narky but then I was to blame for having dumb moment and thinking I know something when I clearly didn't.
Again I will say - my statement was regarding several threads I have read today with idiotic responses etc so I understand what OP meant.
Anyway as I said this will rumble on and there will be so many more because people just love to be unhelpful however. As I have experienced there are loads of people who are very helpful and as I have said previously the good and helpful people do outweigh the children and the unhelpful.0 -
I'm pretty sure that the "1000 names" was meant as hyperbole.
And posting these general threads directed at everyone is more helpful? The frequency is up on almost one each day.
I'm with jof on this one; take up the problem with the person in question. And don't forget to look in the mirror when doing so.
You don't see that as symptomatic? Why would people be making posts like these if there was no issue?
I see it as par for the course. Posts like this were made all the time when I joined in August. I even chastised that people on here could be nicer in a few mean people threads myself. I was probably even thinking of some of the exact people you're thinking of when I made those comments. Now I have several of those exact same people on my friends list and interact and joke around with others on a regular basis, because the more time I've spent here, the more I realize that the experienced people on here giving regular solid advice are actually a lot of fun and helpful, but they don't much care for being talked down to by OPs who rarely give advice or clearly have no idea (nutritionally or fitness wise) what they are talking about.0 -
You have it backwards. Mature adults calmly confront each other when they have a problem, ponder options, compromise, understand that not everyone thinks alike, and work on a solution. Granted not everyone here behaves like that, but neither do you when yelling out to nobody in particular that "mommyyyy, everyone is meeeaaan!!!" Solve the conflict when/if you have one, because this generalisation is nothing but passive-aggressive.
And posting these general threads directed at everyone is more helpful? The frequency is up on almost one each day.
But to whom is this chastisement directed? If you don't specify, then everyone who has ever offered help that was vigorously rejected thinks they're the audience for it...when more realistically, it's a very small number of members.
TL;DR - Please direct your comments to those who deserve them.
If you didn't read it, then you have no business commenting--seriously. That's how a lot of fights get started on the forums. It really is a small number of members who cause the problems, but as with anyplace, the most vocal members are the ones we remember. As I said, I'm not perfect and can be blunt and direct, but I generally try to be helpful. There have been some people about whom I've gotten PMs, warning me that "they are like this in every thread and are just trolling," who just seem to take pleasure in being hurtful and doing so intentionally.
I contend that blanket statements about others like this do more harm than good.
All of this contention because people are too reluctant to call out "several people" directly. Call them out when you see it. The "mean" people usually do...or at least *I* do.
Also, make a note of when it happens so you can provide examples of this behavior...(even though 98.44% of the time, their interpretations of the examples are very different than mine).
The problem with calling someone out on his/her behavior is that many times it calls down the wrath of the forum onto your head. EVERYONE in the thread seems to have to take a side, usually that the person protesting is a whinybaby who is accusing people of being "mean" and there are "no mean people" on the forums. That's when the name calling begins. When Voodoo Syxx was harassing me on one thread by calling me "delusional" and all kinds of horrible things, people decided it was okay now to pile on and, despite reports, the moderators didn't do much of anything. He followed me around for a little while and then I didn't see him. Maybe he put me on ignore--it would be nice to think he did. Unfortunately, he's not the only person to show such behavior and I was probably not his only target. As I said, I can take care of myself, but three deactivated accounts in one day tells me that a number of people probably can't handle the heat and may not lose the weight they need to lose because of a lack of helpful support.
I'm with jof on this one; take up the problem with the person in question. And don't forget to look in the mirror when doing so.
as I said we all have different opinions.
again also as I said my post wasn't directed at anyone it was pointing out that people aren't very helpful all the time. also to be honest I am 29 not 6! calling out people is what kids do at school. Not my style. if someone did attack me personally I would say so but my statement was in general.
I don't need to call out anyone as I have just said I don't have issues - I was simply saying I understand what OP meant. Only one person has been narky to me which was sorted in adult fashion.0
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