MFP has changed
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Still waiting for people to tell me what they have actually done to help people on the forums.
I'm waiting.
(No one ever answers this, which is telling.)
Tim I help people. I try to point out flawed thinking, and mistakes in logic, and misinformation. I may have been called "mean" in the past. However, even I have to admit there is some underlying truth to these complaints and I'm more than a little bothered that some people who play this game too often, too zealously and too passionately and sloppily are only pretending to not know exactly what is meant by these repeated complaints.
Just because the description is elusive and diffficult to pin down or usmsc is not here today to spell it out clearly again, does not mean it is not happening.
OP did not even mention misinformation or helping along bad ideas and that's what it's been diverted to. She was clear in what her complaint was about but it's just being turned into something else so some people can feel better about their tactics.
There may be an "army" of people trying to dispel misinformation, but there are also some mercenaries just bent on using smoke and mirrors to activate people to be completely hurtful and personal to some others who they have decided are just worthy of public humiliation.
It's happening too much. People are aware and they are trying to make themselves understood. I for one want to understand the difference.
This couldn't be better said if you tried.0 -
Still waiting for people to tell me what they have actually done to help people on the forums.
I'm waiting.
(No one ever answers this, which is telling.)
I try to help people by correcting misinformation, heck I even try to be nice about it. But sadly it falls on blind eyes. If it's already been said I will quote it and say this is correct or QFT and even add if I can.
I posted a topic today explaining why 1200 calories is not the only option and only got two responses. It was non-judgmental and factual. I did not tell people what or how to eat. It is kind of long but I can get wordy. But after a 29 yr old man was bragging about starting at 1200 calories I felt the need to try and educate the new folks, all of whom lately seem to think 1200 calories is the only answer. I think I'll just leave that here since we're talking about helping people and not whining:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1312839-1200-calories-is-not-the-only-option0 -
Most are just being a cheerleader and congratulating folks...not tearing them down, boo.
So most of 23 posts in almost three years?
Are you just pacing yourself?
Seriously, if you feel so strongly about the proper way to interact in the forums, you're not going to make a difference with one post every six weeks. Get in there...show them how it's done...be the change you want to see in others.
Or continue lecturing others on what you think they're doing wrong under the mistaken belief that it will make a difference.
Personally, I think you'll make more progress with the former...
...but that's just my opinion.
Everyone is allowed an opinion, you know what they say. I'm sure it will make no difference to anyone other than to the OP. Thank you and goodnight.
I'm kind of in for hearing the opinions of people who don't post often, especially after noticing in recent days some people saying out loud that they are deciding to become "lurkers" for fear of being made to feel stupid for asking questions.
I can say that I've read mfp forum posts before I even joined. I'm a listener, so I like reading other people's thoughts. I decided to get back on mfp about a month ago. This time around I thought I'd try to use the community feature more because apparently this aids in weight loss - having a support group.
Within days, I made the mistake of getting into it with a senior member that I believe was rude. Some people may not agree.
Anyhow, I had someone inbox me and tell me they too felt the same, but was not sure if they should call this member out in fear of being attacked.
I completely understand this is the internet, but I think some of the words people hurl at each other is really unecessary.
And I say hurl because sometimes the content is good, but the delivery is terrible.
When people say "toughen up, there are big bad people in the world," that is completely true. But let us not forget the really sensitive people that cannot mentally handle people like that, and turn to acts like suicide.
I'm just saying, we don't know who's behind the computer screen and how they will receive our message, so we must TRY to at least have a little tact.0 -
I've been using MFP for two years. It took me awhile to figure out there were forums but when I did a whole new world was opened to me. I'm a changed person.
Because of the forums I have learned so much and I am now healthier than I've ever been and I thank MFP for it.
Are there mean people? I haven't seen any and I'm on here daily. I've seen people not sugar coat their answers. I've seen people be blunt and terse but I've never, ever seen anyone be mean.0 -
There's an old saying:
"Times change, people don't".
Working in a fitness environment for more than half my life, I hear a lot of the same here as I have over that period of time in gyms, fitness centers, etc. Some will support, some will encourage, some will be blunt, some will be tactless. Take the good with the bad.
What I do believe is that people DON'T focus as much on the positive as they do the negative when it comes to forums or life in general. Our environment likes to meander around and sensationalize negative news and events. You see it at newstands, magazines, and TV on a daily basis.
IMO, the ratio is for every one positive thing a person can remember, there are 5 negative things they will associate with it.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Ahhh...the daily mean people thread.
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Most are just being a cheerleader and congratulating folks...not tearing them down, boo.
So most of 23 posts in almost three years?
Are you just pacing yourself?
Seriously, if you feel so strongly about the proper way to interact in the forums, you're not going to make a difference with one post every six weeks. Get in there...show them how it's done...be the change you want to see in others.
Or continue lecturing others on what you think they're doing wrong under the mistaken belief that it will make a difference.
Personally, I think you'll make more progress with the former...
...but that's just my opinion.
Everyone is allowed an opinion, you know what they say. I'm sure it will make no difference to anyone other than to the OP. Thank you and goodnight.
I'm kind of in for hearing the opinions of people who don't post often, especially after noticing in recent days some people saying out loud that they are deciding to become "lurkers" for fear of being made to feel stupid for asking questions.
I can say that I've read mfp forum posts before I even joined. I'm a listener, so I like reading other people's thoughts. I decided to get back on mfp about a month ago. This time around I thought I'd try to use the community feature more because apparently this aids in weight loss - having a support group.
Within days, I made the mistake of getting into it with a senior member that I believe was rude. Some people may not agree.
Anyhow, I had someone inbox me and tell me they too felt the same, but was not sure if they should call this member out in fear of being attacked.
I completely understand this is the internet, but I think some of the words people hurl at each other is really unecessary.
And I say hurl because sometimes the content is good, but the delivery is terrible.
When people say "toughen up, there are big bad people in the world," that is completely true. But let us not forget the really sensitive people that cannot mentally handle people like that, and turn to acts like suicide.
I'm just saying, we don't know who's behind the computer screen and how they will receive our message, so we must TRY to at least have a little tact.
Agree with this. Delivery not alwaya great but I think people genuinely want to help0 -
This site is moderated. Not too strictly but somewhat anyway. Imagine what the usual suspects would say if they could get away with it! On second thought don't. It's better not to even go there.
"Not too strictly"? Seriously? I don't mean to be rude, but that's about the furthest thing from the truth. I've been on the internet since some really early days (2400baud on a Kermit terminal about 20 years ago) and this site has the heaviest-handed moderation of any of them. I have gotten strikes, and friends have gotten banned over the silliest, most innocuous things ever. It is literally mind-boggling, the level of moderation this site has.0 -
Still waiting for people to tell me what they have actually done to help people on the forums.
I'm waiting.
(No one ever answers this, which is telling.)
I've sent beer to a couple members. What have you done that is better than that? (trick question, nothing is better than that)0 -
I've sent beer to a couple members. What have you done that is better than that? (trick question, nothing is better than that)
I'll be the judge of that... :drinker:0 -
I agree that sometimes some of the usual suspects don't sugarcoat and could be more 'tactful' in their delivery. I have seen some mark and plenty of gifts. But, I also think people tend to see negativity and meanness wherever there is disagreement. Part of the problem with written communication is the loss of facial expressions and tone. That can actually help sometimes but, often, it means that meanness is detected where none was intended0
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This site is moderated. Not too strictly but somewhat anyway. Imagine what the usual suspects would say if they could get away with it! On second thought don't. It's better not to even go there.
"Not too strictly"? Seriously? I don't mean to be rude, but that's about the furthest thing from the truth. I've been on the internet since some really early days (2400baud on a Kermit terminal about 20 years ago) and this site has the heaviest-handed moderation of any of them. I have gotten strikes, and friends have gotten banned over the silliest, most innocuous things ever. It is literally mind-boggling, the level of moderation this site has.
:sad: I got strikes for the most stupid things. It really does amaze me. People can get away with a poop ton of poop in this place TOWARDS me but if I even fire back or hell dont even damn fire back I get a strike. Makes it not worth the typing most of the time.0 -
"If you are lonely and need a friend that does not judge you, get a dog or cat. "
I totally agree and whilst you are at it toughen yourself up. Its a cruel world outside of your home.
So MFP can't be different? Does everything need to be horrid?
Even if nice or helpful means supporting something dangerous or inaccurate?It just bad manners.
If you can't be nice or helpful, don't write anything.
There are nice ways of communicating even if the message isn't particularly nice. Education works a lot better than a smackdown. Not too long ago, some people were smug and happy about chasing away another newbie through utterly horrible posts. I believe in honesty, sometimes extremely blunt honesty, but such nastiness is just sad.0 -
This site is moderated. Not too strictly but somewhat anyway. Imagine what the usual suspects would say if they could get away with it! On second thought don't. It's better not to even go there.
"Not too strictly"? Seriously? I don't mean to be rude, but that's about the furthest thing from the truth. I've been on the internet since some really early days (2400baud on a Kermit terminal about 20 years ago) and this site has the heaviest-handed moderation of any of them. I have gotten strikes, and friends have gotten banned over the silliest, most innocuous things ever. It is literally mind-boggling, the level of moderation this site has.
:sad: I got strikes for the most stupid things. It really does amaze me. People can get away with a poop ton of poop in this place TOWARDS me but if I even fire back or hell dont even damn fire back I get a strike. Makes it not worth the typing most of the time.
Interestingly enough, your post is likely technically a violation of the CG.
[TMYK.gif]0 -
"If you are lonely and need a friend that does not judge you, get a dog or cat. "
I totally agree and whilst you are at it toughen yourself up. Its a cruel world outside of your home.
So MFP can't be different? Does everything need to be horrid?
Even if nice or helpful means supporting something dangerous or inaccurate?It just bad manners.
If you can't be nice or helpful, don't write anything.
There are nice ways of communicating even if the message isn't particularly nice. Education works a lot better than a smackdown. Not too long ago, some people were smug and happy about chasing away another newbie through utterly horrible posts. I believe in honesty, sometimes extremely blunt honesty, but such nastiness is just sad.
Reference please. (I see these claims often, but almost never are they supported with an actual link to the egregious behavior. I'm not saying it didn't happen, but it would strengthen your argument considerably if you could provide some support.)0 -
"If you are lonely and need a friend that does not judge you, get a dog or cat. "
I totally agree and whilst you are at it toughen yourself up. Its a cruel world outside of your home.
So MFP can't be different? Does everything need to be horrid?
Even if nice or helpful means supporting something dangerous or inaccurate?It just bad manners.
If you can't be nice or helpful, don't write anything.
There are nice ways of communicating even if the message isn't particularly nice. Education works a lot better than a smackdown. Not too long ago, some people were smug and happy about chasing away another newbie through utterly horrible posts. I believe in honesty, sometimes extremely blunt honesty, but such nastiness is just sad.
Reference please. (I see these claims often, but almost never are they supported with an actual link to the egregious behavior. I'm not saying it didn't happen, but it would strengthen your argument considerably if you could provide some support.)
I can't remember the thread, but it did happen. It was a newbie being a jerk.0 -
I have found that people aren't mean, they are just direct... and most of the helpful members have been here a long time answering the same exact question ad nauseam. What I am tired of seeing are the members who just joined answering good questions with crap advice, that's when a flame war usually starts.. because at that point the thread is already boned and kitty gifs are the only option.0
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I don't know OP I think it's pretty good except when people fly off the handle when you disagree with them. Cool motorcycle by the way.0
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Ignore the jerks. You know, just like real life.0
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I absolutely agree! It would be shameful if someone were to leave MFP because they felt attacked, and it DOES happen.
People are much nastier on the internet than they are in real life, and many were not taught to disagree tactfully and kindly. Sadly there's not much we can do. I mostly avoid the forums for this reason.0 -
OP needs a tackle hug and an e-noogie.0
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I absolutely agree! It would be shameful if someone were to leave MFP because they felt attacked, and it DOES happen.
People are much nastier on the internet than they are in real life, and many were not taught to disagree tactfully and kindly. Sadly there's not much we can do. I mostly avoid the forums for this reason.
I just went back through my posts to see if I could find out when/in which thread this happened. It was on June 4. I couldn't find the thread in which it occurred, but I found a reference to it in a thread I'd posted to, in which a person used a big grin smiley because the thread in question had been started by a person with a deactivated account. I'd love to know if Big Smiley person was the same one who noted that "our work is done here" in the post on the thread that inspired the person to deactivate his/her account. I'm not even certain that thread still exists, but a really determined person could probably find it if it does. I'm not that person, since I need to go outside and do some yardwork before the Belmont runs.0 -
Gotta come back and check for gifs.0
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Human nature: For every great interaction you'll tell 3 people; for every negative interaction you'll tell 10. You make the site what you want, period.0
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Ignore the jerks. You know, just like real life.
This^^
I think we too often tend to form opinions by focusing on the negatives. If 30 people offer kind words, and 10 people are nasty, the average person comes away with the feeling that the group is bad. It's like driving home from work and having 3 or 4 people cut you off. We don't get home and think of thousands of drivers that drove in a sensible manner, instead we feel like "Everyone out there drives like idiots these days!"0 -
I have always found a lot of helpful people on MFP and blunt and matter of fact does not mean that they are being mean or nasty.
However there are some who do jump in with snarky comments containing no useful information whatsoever but that is just part of being on the internet
Just ignore the snarky non informative posts, while listening and considering all other information because a lot of it is extremely helpful0 -
The responses to "law school made me fat" were brutal. I'm so glad when I joined MFP polite people were easier to find here. Now there are so many people that go about like they know all and only their approach to weight loss is correct. It makes MFP seem enapproachable if using it for some social support and not only to track.0
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This.It is a little different but mostly improved. A few years back there were 30 threads a day on the benefits of idiocy like HCG. Eventually the bullies beat down a lot of the myths and craziness and I find MFP to actually be MORE useful and informative than in years past. There are a lot of prominent, knowledgeable members now and an army of people dedicated to destroying misinformation. Good changes all around. Some weak people see this as a bad thing but I don't know what world they are living in.
I had MFP a long time ago and deleted my account due to the terrible misinformation on the forums.
It's much better now.0 -
A+It just bad manners.
If you can't be nice or helpful, don't write anything.
I find it very nice and helpful when bad information is corrected so that I am not duped into derailing my progress or giving up foods I love unnecessarily.0 -
Well, what do you expect on a site run by people who are spending so much time obsessing over everything they put into their bodies, people who are constantly hungry, hangry, angry, and all the things in between?
That being said, people should stop being doushhhhnuggets.
Uh, you are here. Are you obsessed, hungry, hangry, and angry? As for me, I log my food because it helps me maintain. I satisfied with my food choices, happy, and grateful that I am where I am.0
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