Weightloss doesn't always lead to happiness.

luvsmefirefly

I had a sleeve two months ago. I work out, I watch everything I eat. I don't feel weak or tired. My muscles are increasing in tone, my energy level is increasing and I've become more active in general. I also follow my doctor's orders to the letter, every day, no exceptions. If you have a surgery and do not commit to following the guidelines you will not succeed. I took 10 years to decide to do this, and there's no way I'm not going to get the most out of it. Surgery should only be considered for very specific reasons and not as a cure-all for everyone.

Also, the surgeon should have required a pre-op visit (or more) with a psychiatrist. During surgical follow up I have been repeatedly offered a return visit and my general doc has done the same. Some of the mental issues are different this time for me during weight loss, but nothing I hadn't understood to be a possibility before I had it done.

Do I eat a lot less? You bet, and it's a massive relief. I love food even more now that I'm taking the time to make good choices, savor what's on my plate and take my time.

dfranch

It seems this story is more about the pitfalls of the gastric bypass. If he had lost the weight through diet and exercise, he'd be much happier & healthier.

Again not always true. Look at people on the Biggest Loser. They lost their weight through natural diet and exercise. Yet, 90% of them have gained back a significant amount of weight. And there have been a couple of articles now from former contestants no longer under breach of contract (they couldn't write of what went on during their time on the show for a period of time) who are now ridiculing how it went for them.
I've worked with people who did 180 on their diets, and lost weight and exercised to do it. They looked great and then a few months later they had gained back a significant amount. The usual response was " dieting and exercise became a dread after awhile and I missed having fun at parties and get togethers eating and drinking whatever I felt before. It's either stay lean and fit, or not for me."

There's nothing natural about the biggest loser. TBL is an extreme, they have people telling them what to do all day every day. Their job is losing weight, which isn't reasonable for most people. It doesn't teach people how to live their life once the show is over.

The things your client is unhappy about are a direct result of the procedure he had (can't eat much, massive muscle loss, probably loose skin). I was just saying had he chosen a more natural/gradual approach (diet & exercise), he would still be able to cheat on occasion, and since the weight would have come off more slowly (it took me a year to lose 80 lbs) he would not have lost the muscle mass which you noted.

In the end weight loss isn't a happy pill. Some may decide that it's not worth what they have to give up.

rystraum

Hi Shadowwalker,

You've lost quite a lot of weight yourself. Pat yourself on the back because even though you may not be at your target yet, you're getting there!

I think it's very important to regard the journey as the reward, and not just the end goal. So as long as you're doing your best to get to where you want to be, you're already winning!

I'm normally just a lurker here on the boards, but this is a topic that really bothers me. I have been in treatment for depression for a couple of years and one of my thoughts is that if I become slimmer, I'll be happier.

I agree with many of the comments in the thread that just losing weight will not bring about happiness, however it does allow for other things that for me would bring me happiness. I want to be able to run, ride a roller coaster, fit in an airline seat without worrying. I want to feel more confident in my appearance since so many people judge on first impressions. These are just some of the things that will bring me satisfaction and some amount of happiness (especially the running). I try to keep my expectations down and not live in a fantasy, but the desire for the activities I can't do now are my main driving force.

The weight loss itself doesn't bring me happiness, but the world it opens up does.

19kat55

This is what happens when you treat symptoms of problems and not the cause of them. Obesity and weight loss occurs mainly between our ears in the mysterious neural networks of electrochemical impulses that dictate our limbic, endocrine and metabolic systems. Unless the psychosocial causes of obesity are addressed you will forever be chasing symptoms.

Sure, you can oversimply and say its only a matter of calories in versus calories out. That is important, but we are not robots. We are human with all the messy emotions that goes with it. Its more than understanding human metabolism.

I had to hoe two rows during my weight loss. One dug into my psyche to cultivate a better self-esteem. The other dug into the fat. In my not-so humble opinion one will only really succeed when they address both emotional and physical issues.

This, X 1000! Great post!

dbmata

I dunno, if I had to live off of the tiny amount of food that people with gastric bypass are supposed to eat, I'd be pretty miserable too.
However, I've found that exercising more has definitely helped with my depression, and hopefully it will keep it away.

It's amazing the number of people with gastric alteration that get fat again.

keobooks

My grandmother is an obsessive book buyer and can't resist a sale. She used to have a bunch of really unusual books that had nothing to do with her life. One I remember as a kid was "The Secret Lives of Fat People" by Mildred Klingman. The parts I remember were basically about all of these people who lost hundreds of pounds who thought their life was going to be so much better once they lost the weight. They thought their marriages would get fixed, they'd have more friends and they would do better in their jobs. Many people lost the weight and found out they were still the same person they always were -- they just didn't have weight as an excuse to blame everything wrong in their lives. Most of these people gained all the weight back and said they were more comfortable being heavy because it was safer.

It made a great impression on me as a kid. I have always been wary of saying "everything would be better if only..."

Canuname

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/user/felonebeats/status
felonebeats Said:
I think a lot of people have gastric bands because they're too lazy to exercise the weight off.When you've dieted and worked hard to lose weight you'll appreciate it more.It's not just about losing the weight but changing your lifestyle as well

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/user/cparter/status
cparter said:
It is hard for me to place judgement on this when there are so many morbid obese people who there seem to be no other way.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/user/felonebeats/status
felonebeats Said:
Even morbidly obese people can do gentle exercise until they get to a level where they can change up a gear.Too many people want a quick fix without having to put the work in,but putting the work in also installs discipline and all the other things needed to keep the weight off for good.Having an op you're not being educated on nutrition/exercise.You get what you work for imo

You should really attend a weight loss surgery seminar before you go off and say what is or isn't taught. When you start weight loss surgery programs you have go through education on nutrition / exercise. You have to keep a food journal and share it with your nutritionist once a month at your nutrition appointments. You have to lose weight and keep it off and you have to talk to mental health professionals to make sure you are in the right mindset before surgery. There is nothing easy about weight loss surgery at all, and it is not a quick fix at all. It takes an average of 6 months before you can schedule a date for surgery. It is a tool and if it isn't used properly, it will not work. No matter how you lose your weight it has to be a lifestyle change. Diets do not work, only changing your lifestyle works. You cannot go on a diet and lose weight and expect to return to your old ways and habits and not expect to gain back your weight. Even if you are the most disciplined person and are able to lose weight by just eating less you will end up in the same boat as the person the OP is talking about. When you lose weight you will always lose muscle mass unless you exercise and work at keeping muscle mass.

It took me 8 years of trying to lose the weight, to finally lose 70 pounds before I had Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy surgery 03/18/2014.
The reason I decided to have it done was because of always feeling hungry and never feeling full. Now, after surgery, I hardly ever feel hungry and feel full easier.
So to make it perfectly clear, I lost 70 pounds before surgery and now have lost 50 pounds post surgery and I still crave bad foods and have to fight myself to not eat the bad stuff, but just like skin, after stretching out your stomach, it will never shrink back to a small size.

I have never posted anything on my profile page about having a Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy done because of people like you who say blanket statements about it being the easy way and being lazy. Judgmental people suck, period. I just wish people could live in other people's bodies for a while so they can see everything other go through before they just throw out blanket statements that condemn everyone in a group.

And on the record, I am happy, with both my progress and with my life and the changes I have made. Also, after the surgery immediately after I no longer had to take any of my diabetes, high blood pressure or cholesterol medications and all my labs are right in the middle of target zones now. So yes, even after losing 70 pounds I still had to take meds and now I don't. That alone was worth it for the surgery.

KellySue67

I had a sleeve two months ago. I work out, I watch everything I eat. I don't feel weak or tired. My muscles are increasing in tone, my energy level is increasing and I've become more active in general. I also follow my doctor's orders to the letter, every day, no exceptions. If you have a surgery and do not commit to following the guidelines you will not succeed. I took 10 years to decide to do this, and there's no way I'm not going to get the most out of it. Surgery should only be considered for very specific reasons and not as a cure-all for everyone.

Also, the surgeon should have required a pre-op visit (or more) with a psychiatrist. During surgical follow up I have been repeatedly offered a return visit and my general doc has done the same. Some of the mental issues are different this time for me during weight loss, but nothing I hadn't understood to be a possibility before I had it done.

Do I eat a lot less? You bet, and it's a massive relief. I love food even more now that I'm taking the time to make good choices, savor what's on my plate and take my time.

Thank You for this! Wish there was a "thumbs up" smiley!

smn76237

I agree with the original sentiment. If I had magically woken up thin after being 200 pounds, I can't say that I would feel much happier (ok maybe I would, a little bit). But I wouldn't have been living a life that could sustain a happy thin person.

However, the things that I've changed in my life in order to lose weight are the things that are making me happy. I'm much more active in general, I have much more energy, I'm excited to push myself physically at the gym or in yoga because I'm getting stronger every week, I'm excited for my meals and for finding new recipes and foods, I get out of the house more (both because I'm not ashamed of myself anymore and because I have more energy), and most importantly, I'm excited because I FINALLY figured out moderation---I can have my cake and lose weight too.

I am so happy I discovered the MFP boards--it has truly been eye opening. I had never heard of TDEE, BMR, etc prior to last January, and was in a never ending cycle of either eat as much as I want when I want, or severe restriction and cardio (which led to giving up and saying *kitten* it, I'll just be fat then). I had no idea how many calories my body could burn in a day, and it never occurred to me to use a food scale.

So while I'm not done losing weight by a long shot, I can honestly say the changes I've made have made me happier because I finally feel like it's sustainable.

thatredheadedBAMF

I just want to add my two cents as someone who lost almost 100 pounds the old fashioned away (diet and exercise): it's 100% true. It doesn't. My being fat is what was pointed out as what was "wrong" with me my entire life. I've been bullied, verbally abused by my family, you name it, I have likely heard it, so I thought this would change everything. I am more confident and happy now because I don't physically feel so horrible anymore. BUT, things that I thought would be different are not, like dating. I am still ignored. This has been hard to take. Also I am sometimes angry about all the time I have to spend in the gym, lest I gain weight (note that I have no thyroid due to cancer).
During the bulk of my weight loss journey, I was in therapy. I can say unequivocally, that I would not have been able to change my habits without it. Let's be honest: people don't become morbidly obese because they have a healthy relationship with food (medical conditions not included, obviously) or themselves.

lthames0810

This is a topic that interests me greatly. I mainly am bookmarking to read these comments later, but for what it's worth, I have an observation.

I remember a woman that lost a great deal of weight over a couple of years in order to show up at her next highschool reunion and start a relationship with a guy she had admired all those years ago. It ended disastrously when that guy showed up at that reunion already married. Her motivation to lose the weight left her vulnerable to disappointment when life didn't work out according to her fantasies.

We need to ask ourselves why we are doing this, really. I'm asking myself, anyway. Am I using my weight as an excuse not to risk putting myself forward in social situations, or not try new things? After I get the weight off, will I suddenly have a full calendar of fun things to do with all the new friends I will have? No, I'll still be the same introverted self concious person that doesn't enjoy parties. I need to keep my expectations grounded in reality.

Ohwhynot

I lost 65 lbs about 18 yrs ago. I was 125 lbs and a size 4 at 5'8". I still thought I was fat. I still hid under baggy clothes when I swam. I still was insecure. Granted, I wish I was that small again (sorta, I was on the verge of bobble-headed), I am much happier when I actually EAT something.

Iwishyouwell

This goes for people who lose weight with natural measures as well, not just surgery. If you restrict or go to extreme measures, it will just creep back. I want this gone for good.

Again, the rate of weight loss hasn't been proven to give you, or anybody, any more substantial chance at maintaining your losses than somebody who lost quickly.

It's a cute little dieting myth that makes slow losers feel better, but it doesn't really stand up statistically, in the courts of real life. Regain is extremely common regardless of how you lost it, and how long it took to lose it. "Creep" is an issue for us all.

Ang108

I think a lot of people have gastric bands because they're too lazy to exercise the weight off.When you've dieted and worked hard to lose weight you'll appreciate it more.It's not just about losing the weight but changing your lifestyle as well

That is not true ! In most countries people cannot just decide to have any kind of weight loss surgery because they are lazy. In most countries they have to qualify, have to go through a physical, mental & emotional health assessment before they are even considered for such surgery. Usually their overweight has to be health or life threatening to the extreme. They usually have to take some classes or a workshop and have to prepare for their aftercare. Even people who are independently wealthy and can pay for such a surgery out-of-pocket cannot just decide on it, because they are too lazy to do anything else.
I know several countries where people have to prove that they made efforts to lose weight on their own for several years before they can even schedule an assessment appointment to maybe be considered.
Any kind of weight loss surgery is definitely not the " easy way out " and anyone who claims it is, has really no idea what they are talking about.

felonebeats

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/user/felonebeats/status
felonebeats Said:
I think a lot of people have gastric bands because they're too lazy to exercise the weight off.When you've dieted and worked hard to lose weight you'll appreciate it more.It's not just about losing the weight but changing your lifestyle as well

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/user/cparter/status
cparter said:
It is hard for me to place judgement on this when there are so many morbid obese people who there seem to be no other way.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/user/felonebeats/status
felonebeats Said:
Even morbidly obese people can do gentle exercise until they get to a level where they can change up a gear.Too many people want a quick fix without having to put the work in,but putting the work in also installs discipline and all the other things needed to keep the weight off for good.Having an op you're not being educated on nutrition/exercise.You get what you work for imo

You should really attend a weight loss surgery seminar before you go off and say what is or isn't taught. When you start weight loss surgery programs you have go through education on nutrition / exercise. You have to keep a food journal and share it with your nutritionist once a month at your nutrition appointments. You have to lose weight and keep it off and you have to talk to mental health professionals to make sure you are in the right mindset before surgery. There is nothing easy about weight loss surgery at all, and it is not a quick fix at all. It takes an average of 6 months before you can schedule a date for surgery. It is a tool and if it isn't used properly, it will not work. No matter how you lose your weight it has to be a lifestyle change. Diets do not work, only changing your lifestyle works. You cannot go on a diet and lose weight and expect to return to your old ways and habits and not expect to gain back your weight. Even if you are the most disciplined person and are able to lose weight by just eating less you will end up in the same boat as the person the OP is talking about. When you lose weight you will always lose muscle mass unless you exercise and work at keeping muscle mass.

It took me 8 years of trying to lose the weight, to finally lose 70 pounds before I had Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy surgery 03/18/2014.
The reason I decided to have it done was because of always feeling hungry and never feeling full. Now, after surgery, I hardly ever feel hungry and feel full easier.
So to make it perfectly clear, I lost 70 pounds before surgery and now have lost 50 pounds post surgery and I still crave bad foods and have to fight myself to not eat the bad stuff, but just like skin, after stretching out your stomach, it will never shrink back to a small size.

I have never posted anything on my profile page about having a Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy done because of people like you who say blanket statements about it being the easy way and being lazy. Judgmental people suck, period. I just wish people could live in other people's bodies for a while so they can see everything other go through before they just throw out blanket statements that condemn everyone in a group.

And on the record, I am happy, with both my progress and with my life and the changes I have made. Also, after the surgery immediately after I no longer had to take any of my diabetes, high blood pressure or cholesterol medications and all my labs are right in the middle of target zones now. So yes, even after losing 70 pounds I still had to take meds and now I don't. That alone was worth it for the surgery.

So if you lost 70lbs BEFORE having the op what was stopping you carrying on and doing it yourself?feeling hungry?we all feel hungry when we're trying to lose weight but it's about being strong and disciplined.So if you had the op because you couldn't deal with the hunger then I think you did take the easy way out.I've just finished a 3 month cutting cycle losing 28lbs and I was hungry everyday of those 3 months but I stuck it out

albayin

I don't know that but I do know I am not happy now with this extra weight with me.

albayin

This is a topic that interests me greatly. I mainly am bookmarking to read these comments later, but for what it's worth, I have an observation.

I remember a woman that lost a great deal of weight over a couple of years in order to show up at her next highschool reunion and start a relationship with a guy she had admired all those years ago. It ended disastrously when that guy showed up at that reunion already married. Her motivation to lose the weight left her vulnerable to disappointment when life didn't work out according to her fantasies.

We need to ask ourselves why we are doing this, really. I'm asking myself, anyway. Am I using my weight as an excuse not to risk putting myself forward in social situations, or not try new things? After I get the weight off, will I suddenly have a full calendar of fun things to do with all the new friends I will have? No, I'll still be the same introverted self concious person that doesn't enjoy parties. I need to keep my expectations grounded in reality.

I really like you.

albayin

This goes for people who lose weight with natural measures as well, not just surgery. If you restrict or go to extreme measures, it will just creep back. I want this gone for good.

Again, the rate of weight loss hasn't been proven to give you, or anybody, any more substantial chance at maintaining your losses than somebody who lost quickly.

It's a cute little dieting myth that makes slow losers feel better, but it doesn't really stand up statistically, in the courts of real life. Regain is extremely common regardless of how you lost it, and how long it took to lose it. "Creep" is an issue for us all.

this ^^

albayin

This is what happens when you treat symptoms of problems and not the cause of them. Obesity and weight loss occurs mainly between our ears in the mysterious neural networks of electrochemical impulses that dictate our limbic, endocrine and metabolic systems. Unless the psychosocial causes of obesity are addressed you will forever be chasing symptoms.

Sure, you can oversimply and say its only a matter of calories in versus calories out. That is important, but we are not robots. We are human with all the messy emotions that goes with it. Its more than understanding human metabolism.

I had to hoe two rows during my weight loss. One dug into my psyche to cultivate a better self-esteem. The other dug into the fat. In my not-so humble opinion one will only really succeed when they address both emotional and physical issues.

This, X 1000! Great post!

+ 1

goalss4nika

Happiness comes from within. I am battling my own happiness, but it surely has more to do with life than my weight.