My husband needs help...

PinkCupcakes84

He has already had a heart attack at 18!

Are you being serious about the heart attack? That should be enough to get him off his *kitten*.

I am very serious about it. He was 310 and drinking Monsters like it was going out of business. He literally died in the ambulance and came back in 3 minutes....

But who told him he had a heart attack? That doesn't make a heart attack. Were they giving him CPR? Did he pass out?

He told me a part of him went numb and he couldn't breathe, his mother was with him when it happened as well.

So did he go to a hospital? Is his mom a doctor?

Yes he did and his mom was a doctor

SOoooooo....let's review. You said he weighed gained the weight after you married him but in the quotes above you said he weighed 310 when he was 18. you say he doesn't work and you give him the money to buy red bulls and cigs and if he doesn't you're now hinting at domestic abuse. and now....his mom is a doctor. and of course instead of going to Dr. Mom you seek out advice from strangers on the net for you to "manipulate him without being controlling"

yeah.....i'm getting the picture in focus now

Every time I come across something you post it makes me chuckle

PinkCupcakes84

Breadwinner? Cut down his food/drink intake? Just wow. Can't wait to come back and check on this thread later...

He doesn't have a job so that is why I said that I am the breadwinner

so... then where does he get the $$ for smokes and soda?

It is not as if I am eager to give him those things...things have happened between him and I where if I don't give him those things I rather not post in the thread alright?

Ugh, I'm out

Oh dang op that is NOT ok. Seems like you got a bigger problem on your hands....literally.

BritniGarner

He has already had a heart attack at 18!

Are you being serious about the heart attack? That should be enough to get him off his *kitten*.

I am very serious about it. He was 310 and drinking Monsters like it was going out of business. He literally died in the ambulance and came back in 3 minutes....

But who told him he had a heart attack? That doesn't make a heart attack. Were they giving him CPR? Did he pass out?

He told me a part of him went numb and he couldn't breathe, his mother was with him when it happened as well.

So did he go to a hospital? Is his mom a doctor?

Yes he did and his mom was a doctor

SOoooooo....let's review. You said he weighed gained the weight after you married him but in the quotes above you said he weighed 310 when he was 18. you say he doesn't work and you give him the money to buy red bulls and cigs and if he doesn't you're now hinting at domestic abuse. and now....his mom is a doctor. and of course instead of going to Dr. Mom you seek out advice from strangers on the net for you to "manipulate him without being controlling"

yeah.....i'm getting the picture in focus now

The confusion is in the timeline. at 18 yes he was 310 but he did lose weight after that. Fast forwarding 2-3 years later he gains it all back. Also I'm not saying domestic abuse, I'm just not trying to put all our problems out in the open ok? Also dealing with his mother is a whole other situation that I'm not getting into as well.

Fsunami

Yoda rulz

catb58

I don't see that anything suggested here will work. If this man refuses to take care of himself after a heart attack by eating right and cutting out Red Bulls and cigarettes, what on earth makes anyone think he'd go see a doctor for either blood work or depression?? And any other suggestions made here have been met with excuses why they wouldn't work.

Call me cynical/mean/unsympathetic, but sounds like he has things just how he likes them. She's working on looking better so he'll have a hot mama who brings home a paycheck and babies him so he doesn't keel over. And she is getting attention by saying "poor me...I don't know what to do about my husband."

I'm sorry. I know it sounds mean, but I work with people who regularly complain about how miserable their lives are, but they refuse to take any action to improve their circumstances. Instead of taking action, they make excuses. After the first few times of offering sympathy or the requested advice, when nothing happens or they make excuses, I shrug and say "it's your choice."

srslybritt

Unfortunately, OP, you cannot make this decision for him. You may come from a place of love, but don't be a helicopter wife and try to control his food/drink intake. He won't follow through if he doesn't do it for himself.

Disclaimer: Haven't read the whole thread yet.

jofjltncb6

Good Afternoon!

I would love to help you lose the weight. I am a weight loss coach and I use the product Herbalife. It is really easy to use. 2 meal replacement protein shakes a day, 1 meal, and healthy snacks in between. I help you every step of the way. You don't need to exercise but of coarse it will speed up your weight loss process. If your interested email me at: [snipped]

Thanks for your time,

[snipped]

Reported.

Also, see this while waiting for your post to disappear:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/welcome/guidelines

EvgeniZyntx

Nvm.

Good luck.

lacroyx

He has already had a heart attack at 18!

Are you being serious about the heart attack? That should be enough to get him off his *kitten*.

I am very serious about it. He was 310 and drinking Monsters like it was going out of business. He literally died in the ambulance and came back in 3 minutes....

Wow! That should be a wake up call right there. I don't know what to tell you.

I have a good close friend I have known since high school. He was hospitalized for 1 month a few years back. Without going into details he pretty much was told by the doctors he was lucky to be alive and needed to change if he wants to avoid heart problems as he gets older. He's 6'4 and a little over 400 lbs. He has been this way for years. I tried and tried to motivate him, introduced him to MFP, dragged him out of the house to get him to join me at the gym but it just doesn't work. As others said, he has to want to do it himself.

MyChocolateDiet

Wow, this thread got weirder?

OP I recommend going to counseling.

You have alluded to problems with him when you don't buy what he wants and all the possibilities that statement could be pointing to are very problematic and difficult to handle on your own. The thing with not having the best scenario with his mom is common and it's not surprising if his mom is a Dr. that the shoemakers child is going shoeless.

Really though I think that point you are not willing to touch on an open forum for privacy's sake is probably where the crux of the matter lies in your dynamic with him and his ability to get what he wants despite little effort. I think therapy would help both of you suss out how that dynamic is harmful and also what his true goals and intentions are or should be. It would also help you get any controlling language if not behavior under control if the relationships current circumstances are leading to habits that may be hard to break later when you are no longer the sole breadwinner.

Good luck whatever you decide to do.:flowerforyou:

TavistockToad

Breadwinner? Cut down his food/drink intake? Just wow. Can't wait to come back and check on this thread later...

He doesn't have a job so that is why I said that I am the breadwinner

so... then where does he get the $$ for smokes and soda?

It is not as if I am eager to give him those things...things have happened between him and I where if I don't give him those things I rather not post in the thread alright?

:huh: leave... NOW

cincysweetheart

I can only imagine how hard it is to watch someone you love do things that are hurting his body. But nothing will change until he decides he's ready. You can't "motivate" someone else. The best thing you can do is live by example. Eat right keep yourself at at healthy weight. Be as active as you can. Let him see how much you enjoy living a healthy lifestyle. And love him NO MATTER WHAT! Personally… scare tactics don't work on me. You could try taking all those things that will supposedly "scare him straight." But personally, I would end up resenting it even more. And I would get my back up. Unfortunately it has to come from him.

TadaGanIarracht

I want my dad to quit smoking. My grandfather died of lung cancer so we know it runs in the family. But I can't make him quit. I can't take his cigarettes away when I see him. It's not my place.

I will share my concerns with him but it's his body and his choice.

MelodyandBarbells

Ask if he would be interested in diet soda and possibly other substitutions? Ask him if there's any exercise activity he's ever been interested in trying, you guys could try to get into that. What does he do all day while you work? A lot of times I eat out of boredom so if he's doing little all day, that could be a contributor. Maybe you guys could work on finding him a productive hobby or project of some sort

MzOnree

You've been given a lot of information here. I would definitely take him to his primary care physician (not his mother) and have him examined along with extensive blood work. That is a starting point. As others have said, he will only change if and when he is ready to do so. I don't feel we know enough of the story to really give you good advice. This is just a "topic" and we have no idea what happens in your relationship day to day. I think you already know the answer to many of your questions and concerns. If you really listen and sit quietly for a moment...you will already know what you need to do deep inside yourself. Listen to what your heart and soul is telling you and then follow through. I wish you good luck and hope your husband comes around. You're honestly still a kid and have your entire life ahead of you. This shouldn't be a 21 years old problems. Also, this isn't the best place for the advice you need. Seek counseling, if not with him then go alone. Good luck!