Do you think size affects someone's attractiveness?

RHachicho

Well to be honest you do make it pretty clear in your post that you consider these women to be less attractive than you. Both in the looks and personality department. The whole premise of your post is that these men left you for inferior options. So remind me how exactly where they inferior? And honestly you didn't limit your labeling of them to just terms of personality. That last long post seems like a helluva defensive reaction to me tbh.

Oh and as someone who has been fat most of my life I can say this. Most skinny people think fat people are less attractive than they are. Not only that many of them look apon us as some kind of alien species. Oh mentally they will tell themselves they don't discriminate but its total bs.

TavistockToad

I know that I would have been ranked higher than the girls I was cheated on with.

doesnt sound like you have problems with self esteem to me...

I said ranked higher, not that I am the best. If I am a 5, they would have been a 4 at least. Even if I8 thought I was a god damn 10, what is wrong with people being happy with themselves ad thinking they look good.

If you find yourself more attractive than someone else, doesn't mean you think yourself attractive, you just think they are worse than you.

wow...ok...

GypsieFlower94

Well to be honest you do make it pretty clear in your post that you consider these women to be less attractive than you. Both in the looks and personality department. The whole premise of your post is that these men left you for inferior options. So remind me how exactly where they inferior? And honestly you didn't limit your labeling of them to just terms of personality. That last long post seems like a helluva defensive reaction to me tbh.

I get defensive if someone tells me I am/ believe something I am not.

I do think these women were less attractive than me. As I have stated at least a few times, they were both quite mean, One was very mean to almost everyone including the partner that cheated on me with her, and neither took care of themselves in the least.

And yes I don't think they were very attractive but that is my opinion, they could have been to other people, they obviously were in some what to my ex's/

I was told by many mutual friends, or even the family of my ex, that I was far better all round than the women who I was cheated on with, and both ex's left the women and came back.

I could be a god damn 4, and that would mean these women were pretty bad if they were so much worse than me according to others.

It was defensive mainly because the 5 comments I made that could be twisted in some way, they chose to paint me as someone who has an issue with these women because of their size and looks.

Yes, it hurt I put in so much effort in all departments and they left me for people who clearly didn't. And I know they never ended up putting in the effort I did or my ex's wouldn't have come back to me after.

I feel, like most people have said, the physical come into it to some extent. How much you are attracted to someone, whether you do like big or small or whatever. My only concern was that it was someone so different to me, yet both times the different was the same.

I put effort into making myself the best I could be for them, and it wasn't enough for whatever reason. Twice.

Doesn't make it the other woman's fault for my ex's cheating. Doesn't mean I now have a problem with large blondes. It is just the situation I had.

Would everyone be so up in arms if both women were skinnier than me? no. Or if they were nicer people or better partners? no.

But because I have said I was better than them in these factors, that makes me some sort of weight supremacist?

arainiday1

I think women, or men, who have been cheated on always ask these questions.... Why ? What did this other person offer that I didn't.... and a lot of time there is no answer. Then you start compairing yourself. It's not abnormal what you are going through OP. But most of the time, its really NOT about that. If you are worried about repeating the same problems with your current relationship consider some sort of pre-marital counseling. Make sure you are both on the same page about life in general. It won't hurt and helps open up lines of communication and that is the biggest relationship killer.

cincysweetheart

Attraction is based on many things… not just weight…or even personality. So… yes, It's entirely possible for a person to be attracted to a thin person and a fat person as well… even at the same time. Same with a super nice person or a royal B***h.

That being said… cheating is not about you. And I would daresay, more often than not… it's not even about the person they are cheating WITH… It's about them. They may have any number reasons/excuses for doing it… but it's their own issue.

If there is anything you are doing wrong… you're choosing the wrong guys.

RHachicho

Well honestly without knowing some pretty personal and sordid details about your relationships there really is no way to tell for certain where the problem came from. I can only say this. Look at yourself criticize yourself but be confident in yourself. Examine their actions critically and compassionately. Look for improvement both in your actions towards your partner and in your standards for selecting your partner. As in everything else in life balance is key. People always want to say either it's the cheaters fault or its the persons fault for not being good enough like they know the whole damn score. But in the end at the final accounting every single situation is unique. And in the lottery of life good people can get cheated on time and time again and bad people can live happily ever after. It's one of the sucky things about living but hey i guess part of having free will is the freedom to *kitten* things up royally.

It's called the human race because some people lose good luck.

GypsieFlower94

Very true man.

Thanks for all your input by the way, it is very helpful

Snow3y

It's due to personal preference... That's why you get some men who like skinny sticks that starve themselves, and other men feed their partners to get them more fat and hopefully obese.. Strange world out there

arainiday1

And in the lottery of life good people can get cheated on time and time again and bad people can live happily ever after. It's one of the sucky things about living but hey i guess part of having free will is the freedom to *kitten* things up royally.

THAT is so true!

BunBun85

Can I just say, for anyone else wanting to paint me as a fat person hater, my ex, the one that cheated on me, was "fat".

My best friend, female, is fat, and she Is the most gorgeous person inside and out, funnily enough she Is blonde now, too.

My best friend who moved states who is male, also a little chubby. We were very into each other for years without even knowing the other felt the same and only told each other long after the feelings were gone.

I DO NOT HATE FAT PEOPLE OR THINK THEY ARE LESS ATTRACTIVE.

Anyone that makes that conclusion is not reading my comments and replies properly, as I make a point of pointing that out.

Except those people who are fat and less attractive, right? Like the ones your ex's cheated on you with? You know, the ones you rank higher than.

GypsieFlower94

Can I just say, for anyone else wanting to paint me as a fat person hater, my ex, the one that cheated on me, was "fat".

My best friend, female, is fat, and she Is the most gorgeous person inside and out, funnily enough she Is blonde now, too.

My best friend who moved states who is male, also a little chubby. We were very into each other for years without even knowing the other felt the same and only told each other long after the feelings were gone.

I DO NOT HATE FAT PEOPLE OR THINK THEY ARE LESS ATTRACTIVE.

Anyone that makes that conclusion is not reading my comments and replies properly, as I make a point of pointing that out.

Except those people who are fat and less attractive, right? Like the ones your ex's cheated on you with? You know, the ones you rank higher than.

No, I don't hate them either, I never said I did. In fact, the whole time I have never blamed them for what happened. I rank higher than them by not only my own opinion, but that of people who by all means should be on my ex's "side" I guess, like their friends or families.
Also, I don't think they are less attractive because they are fat, I think as a whole, inside and out, they are less attractive than me. Just like I would probably rank myself more attractive than a woman who is anorexic who thought she was the best and that no one else is as good as her.

It doesn't mean I am fantastic or even great, it just means as low as I am ranked, these women, by multiple accounts, were ranked lower.

If I thought I was more attractive than a skinny person, I doubt you would have a problem, but if its a larger person "oh no, it's fat hate". Please.

The only people who have taken offence to otherwise completely innocent comments on here are people that are in fact larger. I understand why you would be more sensitive to comments on weight. However I do not have a problem with people of any size at all. And I really wish you would stop taking it that way, since I have stated many times, with evidence through other comments, this isn't the case.

Also BunBun, I find it intriguing that once I clarified all the comments you had taken to try make it seem as if I did have an issue, you had no response, yet immediately took a positive comment and made a sarcastic, negative spin of it. Maybe it isn't me saying things that are negative towards size, but you reading it that way due to being sensitive on size?

TavistockToad

Just like I would probably rank myself more attractive than a woman who is anorexic who thought she was the best and that no one else is as good as her.

:huh: you think you're better than someone who has a serious mental illness?! great...

GypsieFlower94

Just like I would probably rank myself more attractive than a woman who is anorexic who thought she was the best and that no one else is as good as her.

:huh: you think you're better than someone who has a serious mental illness?! great...

I never said I am better, just that I would not class that as attractive. I was stating a situation where the other woman was not large, but once again, way to make everything negative.

I think no matter what is said you will take it and make it seem the worst it possibly can.

Yes Anorexia is a disorder. Where someone feels they are not good enough.

I am not perfect. Never said I was. But I am average pretty much all round. I just am the best I can be.

TavistockToad

Just like I would probably rank myself more attractive than a woman who is anorexic who thought she was the best and that no one else is as good as her.

:huh: you think you're better than someone who has a serious mental illness?! great...

Once again, way to be negative.

How exactly should your comment be taken in order for it to be positive!?

GypsieFlower94

I never said I am better, just that I would not class that as attractive. I was stating a situation where the other woman was not large, but once again, way to make everything negative.

I have never stated or implied I am better, or think I am better, than anyone based on size or attractiveness or whatever as a whole.

I only stated in the case of the two women I was cheated on with.

But that's fat hate isn't it?

And if they were skinnier, that would mean I was just jealous right?

And me thinking I could veer be better than someone who is known to be a huge cow makes me conceited, does it?

BunBun85

Can I just say, for anyone else wanting to paint me as a fat person hater, my ex, the one that cheated on me, was "fat".

My best friend, female, is fat, and she Is the most gorgeous person inside and out, funnily enough she Is blonde now, too.

My best friend who moved states who is male, also a little chubby. We were very into each other for years without even knowing the other felt the same and only told each other long after the feelings were gone.

I DO NOT HATE FAT PEOPLE OR THINK THEY ARE LESS ATTRACTIVE.

Anyone that makes that conclusion is not reading my comments and replies properly, as I make a point of pointing that out.

Except those people who are fat and less attractive, right? Like the ones your ex's cheated on you with? You know, the ones you rank higher than.

No, I don't hate them either, I never said I did. In fact, the whole time I have never blamed them for what happened. I rank higher than them by not only my own opinion, but that of people who by all means should be on my ex's "side" I guess, like their friends or families.
Also, I don't think they are less attractive because they are fat, I think as a whole, inside and out, they are less attractive than me. Just like I would probably rank myself more attractive than a woman who is anorexic who thought she was the best and that no one else is as good as her.

It doesn't mean I am fantastic or even great, it just means as low as I am ranked, these women, by multiple accounts, were ranked lower.

If I thought I was more attractive than a skinny person, I doubt you would have a problem, but if its a larger person "oh no, it's fat hate". Please.

The only people who have taken offence to otherwise completely innocent comments on here are people that are in fact larger. I understand why you would be more sensitive to comments on weight. However I do not have a problem with people of any size at all. And I really wish you would stop taking it that way, since I have stated many times, with evidence through other comments, this isn't the case.

Also BunBun, I find it intriguing that once I clarified all the comments you had taken to try make it seem as if I did have an issue, you had no response, yet immediately took a positive comment and made a sarcastic, negative spin of it. Maybe it isn't me saying things that are negative towards size, but you reading it that way due to being sensitive on size?

Oh, my bad. I didn't think I needed to respond, you seemed to have done a well enough job of clarifying. I'm not accusing you of fat hate, just thinking that you're better than everyone else it seems, including people with mental illness. Go you! I know there's no point in arguing with you since you're probably better than me anyway. Toodles!

GypsieFlower94

Oh of course! that is EXACTLY what I have been saying this entire post. I am better than everyone? yeah no.

I have 2 serious mental conditions - depression and acute anxiety. I don't think I am better than most people. But I know for sure I am better than the two women that the cheating happened with.

And I may not be better than you, but at least I am honest, and I don't hate on someone for having their own opinion or for things they actually never said or implied.

TavistockToad

The only people who have taken offence to otherwise completely innocent comments on here are people that are in fact larger. I understand why you would be more sensitive to comments on weight. However I do not have a problem with people of any size at all. And I really wish you would stop taking it that way, since I have stated many times, with evidence through other comments, this isn't the case.

i missed this before... you dont know anything about me, but because i disagree with you it mush be because i'm larger than you...

Goldilukes

I'm sorry this has happened to you and I don't think it's your fault.

Look at David Beckham and Jude Law, or Arnold Schwarzenegger. They were all married to beautiful women but they went and had an affair with ugly women....why? I don't think it's about looks, I don't even think it's about you, I think it's because people like something new and if he was getting attention elsewhere different to how you gave it he would have ran for it. He's a creep basically but doesn't always have to be about the looks or size. I've met some huge women with amazing looking boyfriends and vice versa. It seemed to me these women and men were quite confident and bratty. Nice people even if nice looking can't always keep the attention of another.

I also look at it a little like the way of eating we are all on. Why have McDonald's when you've got a great piece of steak at home?
Well McDonald's is served quick, no thinking needed. In and out and eaten within seconds. Steak on the other hands needs cooked to perfection and enjoyed and taken time over. That stupid moment of madness and you've put that McDonald's meat in your mouth when really you should have went home and had that steak.

fairygirlpie9

Personally I don't get cheating at all. If you want to put your **** in numerous boxes then don't get in a relationship. If you don't want to be in a relationship then ****ing end it. Do I think size affects someone's attractiveness? Yes and no and maybe - there are more variables than just size when considering someone as a life partner. Oh and by the way its not your fault they cheated and it never is. Ever.