Childhood Obesity= CHILD ABUSE

neandermagnon

It's not always the parents' fault... My daughter is 9 and loves to eat. She's been putting weight on over the last 6 months or so and is overweight. When we go shopping, I try to educate her about food and give her healthy alternatives to sweets and 'junk' food. I ensure she has fresh fruit and vegetables to snack on and encourage her to think about why she's eating (for instance, she'll say "I'm bored, can I have an ice cream?"). I tell her how the body works, that food is energy and if we don't use all the energy our bodies keep it as fat for another time. I don't restrict her from having treats, but they are just that, treats; not an everyday occurrence. However, she'll trade lunches with kids at school and will come home with chocolate wrappers in her pockets or if she has pocket money she'll go to the shops with her brothers and spend it all on crisps, fizzy drinks, sweets... I do my best to ensure that she gets a healthy, varied diet but I feel like she is sabotaging my efforts and ultimately herself. I don't want to make such a big deal of it that she develops an eating disorder or a dysfunctional relationship with food but I feel I can't just leave her to her own devices. I was a chubby teen and I was miserable. I believe I set a good example now with my eating habits and I get plenty of exercise and encourage her to do the same but I'm acutely aware that there's a fine line between encouraging someone to be healthy and forcing them into doing something they don't want and potentially causing a bigger problem further down the line.

I'm pretty stumped as to what to do...

P.S. My daughter may only be 9 1/2 but she is very forward and switched on, for those that may think she's unable to understand what I'm trying to teach her. She has started going through puberty already so I'm sure this is a contributing factor to her weight gain.

9 1/2 is too early to go thru puberty. High body fat % is a CAUSE of early puberty, not a result.
If she has just started to gain weight rapidly over the past 6 months, I would look at what has changed in her world in that period of time. Divorce? Move? change in friends? Has she seemed more anxious or depressed the last 6 months? There most likely is an underlying problem that you may or may not be aware of. Seek outside help if needed.

My kids never had pocket money at that age. There was no need for them to have money, as I was always with them to pay for anything they needed. Is she left without adult supervision very often?

The research on body fat and entering puberty earlier shows that a high body fat percentage does not cause a child to enter puberty that much earlier. Comparing this generation to last generation, girls are getting their period on average about 6 months earlier than their mothers did. That difference does seem to be due to having more fat in the diet. But if someone's genetically predetermined to enter puberty at age 12, then a high fat diet won't make them enter puberty at age 9. It might make them enter puberty at 11.5 years. The age range for onset of puberty is 8-16 and it was was the same when I was a child and when my parents and grandparents were children, and back in the olden days when people married much younger (because they married soon after first menstruation)... high body fat percentage makes puberty start a little earlier, but if someone starts puberty at 9 that's mostly because of their genetics.

Also, this is not an abnormal trait. it evolved so that when populations were going through phases of having plentiful food, girls grew up a little more quickly, started reproducing a little earlier, and so had more children in their lifetime. Later onset of puberty during leaner times = later age of first reproduction = fewer kids in one lifetime = slowed growth of the population = less stress on food resources = greater chance of the population surviving.

k8blujay2

There is a vast difference between theory and application.

Not really, no. Making a pot of bean soup is not rocket science.

I'd LOVE to see you get my kids to eat bean soup.

lol. right?


OH> But someone on the internet, without kids, says its no big deal.

I made my kids LASAGNE, with garlic toast and they chose to go hungry rather than eat it. I'm happy if the older one substitutes apple slices for whatever balance meal I've prepared for them.

Usually mine will usually eat the garlic bread... Mine used to eat all manner of fruits and vegetables... Now I'm lucky if I can get her to eat two bites... I now withhold evening snacks to make sure she is hungry by the time dinner is ready... even then, if she decides she doesn't like it... she won't touch it....

Jacwhite22

There is a vast difference between theory and application.

Not really, no. Making a pot of bean soup is not rocket science.

Getting a kid to eat that stuff is. What do you do then? Put a feeding tube in? Let them "not eat at all then" and then you are abusive for not feeding them enough? Until you have kids of your own don't talk to me about how to feed them.

When my dad was alive it was "You eat what's in front of you or you don't". He was a marine. Let's just say, I wasn't a picky eater.

You obviously weren't as stubborn as my kids. My kids would go without eating for multiple days before eating bean soup.

amwbox

When my dad was alive it was "You eat what's in front of you or you don't". He was a marine. Let's just say, I wasn't a picky eater.

Its interesting. Apparently its abusive to feed kids healthy food nowadays, since they'd rather eat crap. Of course they would! They're kids. Kids like crap. Fortunately, kids don't get to call the shots. At least I didn't. And I rather enjoyed the wholesome food I was raised on. Would I have rather had a cheeseburger? Sure. But...that was not available so that's not what I ate.

QueenBishOTUniverse

I had her on a vet-prescribed food.

Honestly, I've known several vets who weren't aware of this issue and the cat food industry has only recently started changing their formulas. I learned about it from a vet in LA, but my vet in Texas had never heard of this before. From an evolutionary and functional morphology perspective it makes perfect sense given that in the wild the only carbohydrate cats ingest is usually whatever is already in the digestive system of their prey.

The vet food may have been lower in calories overall but not significantly different in macro break down from the normal food. Just something to consider really. We had a 15 pound cat that we've gotten down to 8 pounds just by limiting access to dry food, feeding primarily wet food, and getting a younger cat to keep our two old farts on their toes.

likitisplit

But, you see, you are judging people who are struggling to raise children for not doing things that you were unable to do with a lot less responsibility.

No, in obvious point of fact I'm not. I'm judging people for failing their CHILDREN, as opposed to an individual with no dependents failing themselves.

Do you know what a tu quoque fallacy is? You should educated yourself on logical fallacies before debating. It helps.

LOL. Being a parent is HARDER than taking care of yourself. If taking care of yourself is hard enough that many, many people fail to do it, then -trust me- it's not as easy as "making a pot of bean soup" when you are a parent.

k8blujay2

But, you see, you are judging people who are struggling to raise children for not doing things that you were unable to do with a lot less responsibility.

No, in obvious point of fact I'm not. I'm judging people for failing their CHILDREN, as opposed to an individual with no dependents failing themselves.

Do you know what a tu quoque fallacy is? You should educated yourself on logical fallacies before debating. It helps.

The pompous arrogance you portray without actually having any real knowledge of the situation is absolutely astounding.

It's kinda comical actually.

amwbox

You obviously weren't as stubborn as my kids. My kids would go without eating for multiple days before eating bean soup.

What other healthy foods wouldn't they eat? There are literally hundreds of cheap and nutritious thing you could have been feeding them if they didn't like bean soup....

Jacwhite22

When my dad was alive it was "You eat what's in front of you or you don't". He was a marine. Let's just say, I wasn't a picky eater.

Its interesting. Apparently its abusive to feed kids healthy food nowadays, since they'd rather eat crap. Of course they would! They're kids. Kids like crap. Fortunately, kids don't get to call the shots. At least I didn't. And I rather enjoyed the wholesome food I was raised on. Would I have rather had a cheeseburger? Sure. But...that was available so that's not what I ate.

Are you saying cheeseburgers aren't wholesome food? Well now I know you've lost it.

_HeartsOnFire_

There is a vast difference between theory and application.

Not really, no. Making a pot of bean soup is not rocket science.

Getting a kid to eat that stuff is. What do you do then? Put a feeding tube in? Let them "not eat at all then" and then you are abusive for not feeding them enough? Until you have kids of your own don't talk to me about how to feed them.

When my dad was alive it was "You eat what's in front of you or you don't". He was a marine. Let's just say, I wasn't a picky eater.

You obviously weren't as stubborn as my kids. My kids would go without eating for multiple days before eating bean soup.

Well I liked food...hence being here. Ha!

likitisplit

When my dad was alive it was "You eat what's in front of you or you don't". He was a marine. Let's just say, I wasn't a picky eater.

Its interesting. Apparently its abusive to feed kids healthy food nowadays, since they'd rather eat crap. Of course they would! They're kids. Kids like crap. Fortunately, kids don't get to call the shots. At least I didn't. And I rather enjoyed the wholesome food I was raised on. Would I have rather had a cheeseburger? Sure. But...that was available so that's not what I ate.

There is an age where you can negotiate that. That age isn't 4.

TheVirgoddess

I made my kids LASAGNE, with garlic toast and they chose to go hungry rather than eat it. I'm happy if the older one substitutes apple slices for whatever balance meal I've prepared for them.

We went camping at a lake once and my daughter ate a whole carton of strawberries - a huge feat - she eats like three things, total. So we got home and I happily bought strawberries. She refused to eat them, claiming she only likes "lake strawberries".

It can be incredibly difficult to get your kids to eat stuff they've made up their minds about. They aren't little robots you get to program (unfortunately). I try hard to get mine to eat healthy, but some days I just don't have the fight in me and I'm thankful for nasty spaghetti o's and apple slices.

amwbox

When my dad was alive it was "You eat what's in front of you or you don't". He was a marine. Let's just say, I wasn't a picky eater.

Its interesting. Apparently its abusive to feed kids healthy food nowadays, since they'd rather eat crap. Of course they would! They're kids. Kids like crap. Fortunately, kids don't get to call the shots. At least I didn't. And I rather enjoyed the wholesome food I was raised on. Would I have rather had a cheeseburger? Sure. But...that was available so that's not what I ate.

There is an age where you can negotiate that. That age isn't 4.

Kids are 4 their entire childhoods? Honestly, I don't remember 4 very well. But I'm pretty sure I survived.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

Do you have the luxury of stay at home with your children? Yes, I know, you dabble with your non-profit, but if I remember correctly from its web page you either home school or hope to. I am not bringing that up to be a jerk, but that kind of thing is an opportunity that a lot of women don't have. Which is why you, of all the people here, should understand the reality that equal access is kind of a thing.

The 21 year old bit of my quote, which this person removed from its context was referring to the OP, not adult children.

You don't have a very high opinion of me, do you?

Yes, I stay home. I run a non-profit and a small business, and I home school my kids. I'm incredibly lucky to be in the situation I am - and we work hard to keep it that way. I fully believe that every woman deserves the choices that I have - and more.

I did not realize your quote was taken out of context. I haven't had a chance to read the whole thread. But apparently I've upset you somehow, so I'll apologize.

I don't actually have any opinion of you. You seem to think when people challenge you, they don't like you. It's really odd because that only leaves you people agreeing with you so your feelings don't get hurt.

Again, you cut the quote off, but I was responding to you agreeing with somebody that is arguing that obese children should be removed from their homes because foods, kitchens, and computers are easy to come by. I just stated that seemed odd coming from somebody who helps people gain access to resources.

_HeartsOnFire_

I made my kids LASAGNE, with garlic toast and they chose to go hungry rather than eat it. I'm happy if the older one substitutes apple slices for whatever balance meal I've prepared for them.

We went camping at a lake once and my daughter ate a whole carton of strawberries - a huge feat - she eats like three things, total. So we got home and I happily bought strawberries. She refused to eat them, claiming she only likes "lake strawberries".

It can be incredibly difficult to get your kids to eat stuff they've made up their minds about. They aren't little robots you get to program (unfortunately). I try hard to get mine to eat healthy, but some days I just don't have the fight in me and I'm thankful for nasty spaghetti o's and apple slices.

Exactly. One day my niece will be all about some healthy food, a week later she says she doesn't like them. Heck, later in the same day she'll tell you she doesn't like them.

luvred51

Bump

amwbox

When my dad was alive it was "You eat what's in front of you or you don't". He was a marine. Let's just say, I wasn't a picky eater.

Its interesting. Apparently its abusive to feed kids healthy food nowadays, since they'd rather eat crap. Of course they would! They're kids. Kids like crap. Fortunately, kids don't get to call the shots. At least I didn't. And I rather enjoyed the wholesome food I was raised on. Would I have rather had a cheeseburger? Sure. But...that was available so that's not what I ate.

Are you saying cheeseburgers aren't wholesome food? Well now I know you've lost it.

The weakness of your lack of argument shines through every personal attack.

A hamburger obviously CAN be, but since you seem unaware, the landslide majority of hamburger consumption comes from crappy fast food. Goes without saying that I'm not referring to the real deal. At least it should lol.

QueenBishOTUniverse

There is a vast difference between theory and application.

Not really, no. Making a pot of bean soup is not rocket science.

Getting a kid to eat that stuff is. What do you do then? Put a feeding tube in? Let them "not eat at all then" and then you are abusive for not feeding them enough? Until you have kids of your own don't talk to me about how to feed them.

When my dad was alive it was "You eat what's in front of you or you don't". He was a marine. Let's just say, I wasn't a picky eater.

You obviously weren't as stubborn as my kids. My kids would go without eating for multiple days before eating bean soup.

LOL, friend actually had CPS called in for neglect because the school nurse thought her child was malnourished. The kid had literally refused to eat FOR DAYS because all she wanted was chicken nuggets, she was taking her lunches and throwing them away at school etc. Mom had been consulting with a doctor and a nutritionist already and was doing everything she could but the child was just stubborn. Luckily in this case CPS took one look at what was happening and left it alone.

LassoOfTruth

No, not at all. I got fat because I ate, not because my parents forced me to. What a horrible message to send to that child as well. It'll completely mess up (further) the relationship that he/she has with food. Food is such a bad thing that it'll take your parents away. Really?!

DeltaZero

When my dad was alive it was "You eat what's in front of you or you don't". He was a marine. Let's just say, I wasn't a picky eater.

Its interesting. Apparently its abusive to feed kids healthy food nowadays, since they'd rather eat crap. Of course they would! They're kids. Kids like crap. Fortunately, kids don't get to call the shots. At least I didn't. And I rather enjoyed the wholesome food I was raised on. Would I have rather had a cheeseburger? Sure. But...that was available so that's not what I ate.

Are you saying cheeseburgers aren't wholesome food? Well now I know you've lost it.

The weakness of your lack of argument shines through every personal attack.

A hamburger obviously CAN be, but since you seem unaware, the landslide majority of hamburger consumption comes from crappy fast food. Goes without saying that I'm not referring to the real deal. At least it should lol.

Clearly, we should all just listen to you since you have the answers to everything.