Boyfriend's Mom Is Unreasonable. Help?

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  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,931 Member
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    :huh: A summer job is not the same as having a job. That's something you do to earn spending money between semesters. He's still completely financially dependent on his mother (his dad not being around really wasn't relevant to the point I was making, nor was his getting a scholarship in high school).

    He could get a year-round job, take classes in the evenings, and move out if he wanted to, but obviously he is happy with the arrangement. And as far as tolerating his mother, you've never met the woman and presumably have no contact with her, so she really has nothing to do with you. Stop injecting yourself into their relationship and family decisions - problem solved.

    Um... I never had anything other than a summer job, but I made sure to work my butt of and make smart investments. I had saved quite a bit of money before graduating from university because of my summer jobs. A summer job for me was not used as spending money. It was money to be saved. The question is what kind of habits and discipline does this guy have?
  • Beautiful_disaster40
    Beautiful_disaster40 Posts: 154
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    You date/marry the whole family. If its a problem now it will be a bigger problem later. Lots of fish in the sea, find one who isn't a mommas boy.
  • Keepcalmanddontblink
    Keepcalmanddontblink Posts: 718 Member
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    My boyfriend is 19 and in college. He and I have been dating half a year as of this past Monday. His mom can't stand the fact he has a girlfriend. I haven't seen him since school ended. We planned this trip I was supposed to take today 3 weeks ago. He got consent that I could come. Well apparently, I can't anymore because his mom said no because she doesn't want him to date period. I'm sorry but it's unreasonable to assume your son is NEVER going to date. She keeps telling him to make his own decisions but literally decides everything for him and he's afraid to go against her because he's liable to get kicked out. I spent my night crying because this is stupid and upsetting and I don't know what to do anymore. Help?
    Um...run! A mama's boy will always be tied to her apron strings.
  • crazyjlyn
    crazyjlyn Posts: 225 Member
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    You date/marry the whole family. If its a problem now it will be a bigger problem later. Lots of fish in the sea, find one who isn't a mommas boy.

    So much truth
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    Late to the party but....RUN. You will never win.

    Also, as ItsFun said so eloquently, you are young. This isn't your first relationship and it won't be your last. If I could dial back the clock, there are definitely some "relationships" that I should have walked away from instead of wasting my time and losing my focus.

    Use the energy you are spending on analyzing this situation to date, work hard, build your future.
  • Monkey_Business
    Monkey_Business Posts: 1,800 Member
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    Since you have come to a public forum to solicit opinions, be weary of what you ask for, you might get it.

    So here is my take (old man who has been around the block or two):

    It sounds like your boy friend's Mom knows her son much better then you do. He is not ready yet to be an adult and she realizes that. She may be protecting him but is also protecting you. Ask her for advise and she may give you some incite into what is going on and why.

    Wishing you the best, but it looks like it is time to move on, because he is not ready to.
  • CCSavage88
    CCSavage88 Posts: 191
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    You've never met mom?...Could he be using mom as an excuse knowing you haven't met and probably won't?...
  • BigDougie1211
    BigDougie1211 Posts: 3,530 Member
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    You've never met mom?...Could he be using mom as an excuse knowing you haven't met and probably won't?...

    Thought this myself, but the idea doesn't seem to be gaining any traction.
  • skippygirlsmom
    skippygirlsmom Posts: 4,433 Member
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    If he doesn't stand up to his mom on going to a theme park that is merely 30 min away with his college girlfriend I'm afraid he will NEVER stand up to her. Yeah he's in quite a predicament having to choose between the woman he loves and well, the woman he loves. I would honestly let it go because there is nothing you can do about his mom, period and so I'd let this be strike one, three strikes and he's out. I'm sorry your dealing with this, the parents of our significant others can often be a hit or miss. This one sounds like a bummer :frown:

    I agree with this, it's not like he invited you on the family vacation for a week, it's 1 day at a amusement park.

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