Chivalry is dead?

SunofaBeach14

Nah, I'm just playin, but seriously....



Nah, just playin again, but seriously...

*gigglesnort*

I blame my lawyer parents, I can't resist a good debate....

Damn lawyers!

QueenBishOTUniverse

Nah, I'm just playin, but seriously....



Nah, just playin again, but seriously...

*gigglesnort*

I blame my lawyer parents, I can't resist a good debate....

Damn lawyers!

By third grade my response to "what do you want to be when you grow up" was NOT A LAWYER. This was made especially amusing by the fact that both of my parents were in law school at the time so almost every person asking me this question was either a law professor or a law student. Unfortunately, their tendency to make me defend my stance when I disagreed with them about something *might* have had a lasting effect....

JoshTheGiant

I was raised to be chivalrous. My generation seems to think that when a guy who was raised like myself is being themselves, that they are trying to hit on them or get in their pants by being chivalrous. Messed up..... Sick of it.

+1

SunofaBeach14

I was raised to be chivalrous. My generation seems to think that when a guy who was raised like myself is being themselves, that they are trying to hit on them or get in their pants by being chivalrous. Messed up..... Sick of it.

+1

There are plenty of people out there who don't seem to get social cues. I avoid them like the plague IRL but enjoy them on MFP. That particular version, the woman who thinks men are hitting on her anytime men are polite, is the source of endless personal amusement. Then again, I'm sure the male version, the guy who can't take a hint, is equally entertaining to the ladies. My wife is regularly sharing her gym experiences with me, and I have to admit that her stories are better than mine.

BinaryPulsar

I never interpret chivalrous behavior as getting hit on. And even if someone is being chivalrous and then also seems to take an interest in me, I would not consider that trying to get in my pants. Just because people are out there, enjoying the presence of other people, and taking an interest in one another does not mean they are trying to get into anyone's pants.

QueenBishOTUniverse

I was raised to be chivalrous. My generation seems to think that when a guy who was raised like myself is being themselves, that they are trying to hit on them or get in their pants by being chivalrous. Messed up..... Sick of it.

+1

There are plenty of people out there who don't seem to get social cues. I avoid them like the plague IRL but enjoy them on MFP. That particular version, the woman who thinks men are hitting on her anytime men are polite, is the source of endless personal amusement. Then again, I'm sure the male version, the guy who can't take a hint, is equally entertaining to the ladies. My wife is regularly sharing her gym experiences with me, and I have to admit that her stories are better than mine.

I never assume I'm getting hit on, then again, I've been told repeatedly by my husband that I'm absolutely oblivious to the getting hit on social cues that I do encounter. So I'm oblivious to social cues, but generally in the other direction...

BinaryPulsar

I am good at IRL social cues. It's also why I can crack my husband up at the end of the day by re-enacting scenes of my experiences that day. This is also why I do movement theatre and comedy.

whatshouldieat

You can thank society, FB, and parents who raise their kids in front of the TV... Good manners are installed at a young age, If you don't capture them when they are young, you have an up hill battle. Good luck. FYI Kindness goes a long ways and GOD takes care of UGLY.

tolkienite

I try for manners, always. I am polite, and I hold the door open for others (male or female). I feel that this type of behaviour is a general courtesy.

My brother held the door open for a lady a few months ago and was told that in doing so he was being misogynistic. He is now getting confused over what constitutes appropriately polite behaviour. I was not impressed at all by this type of opinion, but I suppose the point of opinions is that you can have any one you like.

lisajtubs

I love some good manners in a man, but sometimes it seems it depends upon how you look!!! I was once dressed up very nicely (makeup, heels, fitted skirt etc) and dropped a few bits of shopping from my bag (the stuff rolled everywhere!) and 3 men stopped to help me pick things up. less than a few weeks later when I dropped yet more things, a man practically stood on my stuff walking past and nobody helped. Was makeup free, hair in scruffy ponytail and wearing baggy trousers, trainers and fitted tee. A correlation perhaps?!

RllyGudTweetr

I love some good manners in a man, but sometimes it seems it depends upon how you look!!! I was once dressed up very nicely (makeup, heels, fitted skirt etc) and dropped a few bits of shopping from my bag (the stuff rolled everywhere!) and 3 men stopped to help me pick things up. less than a few weeks later when I dropped yet more things, a man practically stood on my stuff walking past and nobody helped. Was makeup free, hair in scruffy ponytail and wearing baggy trousers, trainers and fitted tee. A correlation perhaps?!

1) Correlation =/= causation.
2) I'm sure you've never altered your behavior toward anyone - male or female - based upon their appearance. . . right?

bomftdrum

I love some good manners in a man, but sometimes it seems it depends upon how you look!!! I was once dressed up very nicely (makeup, heels, fitted skirt etc) and dropped a few bits of shopping from my bag (the stuff rolled everywhere!) and 3 men stopped to help me pick things up. less than a few weeks later when I dropped yet more things, a man practically stood on my stuff walking past and nobody helped. Was makeup free, hair in scruffy ponytail and wearing baggy trousers, trainers and fitted tee. A correlation perhaps?!

I am sure how you look makes a difference to some people whether you they will a lady out or not. It really depends on how you were brought up. If I see someone struggling with something, be it a man or woman, I will ask if they need my help. The problem that I have run into is some ladies will say that they don't need my help. and be rude about it. That in itself makes people not want to help other people.

sijomial

Chivalry and good manners are not dead yet but not as common as they were. People seem to be so immersed in their own little world they don't notice what is going on around them

A family with two disabled children in wheelchairs were stuck at the bottom of a flight of stairs and the majority of people just walked past - don't think they were being intentionally selfish but don't think they even recognised the problem.
Yay - at last a practical application for those hours spent weight training!

I see people every day giving up their seats on public transport to those who are elderly, frail or pregnant. Conversely I see people being selfish every day as well. The death knell for holding the door open for others (of whatever gender) will be the number of people who just walk through without a thank you as though you are their personal servant.

(PS - I had one of those "I'm getting old" moments when a young chap offerred me his seat on the Underground. Crushed my ego with his kindness!!)

splashtree2

I kept thinking about this last night as I had posted on my account about the indifferent parenting skills of some people while at Chic-Fil-A. This is one definition of Chivalry :

"The combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak"

I was taught these ideals (minus the Knightly stature and combat portion) and they flourished while I was in the Marines. But I was also taught to use manners, "please, thank you, yes ma'am, no ma'am, yes sir, no sir" etc... I was also taught you open the door for women, the disabled, and the elderly. I still open the door for my s.o. (car door too even when she is in a mood- different story).

I try to pass on this ethos and way of thinking to my son's. It has been a struggle as they see the rest of society being rude, crude and just down right mean.
I am curious, who among the men here are trying to be Chivalrous and use their manners?

i hope there's more like you....

Nojoke81

IMHO, good manners are universal and should be attributed to everybody and returned in equal measure.

Special treatment shouldn't be portioned out simply because of gender or any other factor in my book. Just sayin.

RiverMelSong

I'm not a man, but I was raised to say thank you and please, hold doors open, give up my seat for the elderly etc and I really appreciate it when other people (men and women alike) are polite to me and others

It's a shame not many people seem to value chivalry / general courtesy these days. Just this morning I spilled my coffee because the guy in front of me on the train looked at me, saw that my hands were full and proceeded to let the door slam in my face.

I'm not convinced it has much to do with age / generation though.. I'm 26 and the lovely man mentioned above was in his early fifties.

SwashBlogger

I love some good manners in a man, but sometimes it seems it depends upon how you look!!! I was once dressed up very nicely (makeup, heels, fitted skirt etc) and dropped a few bits of shopping from my bag (the stuff rolled everywhere!) and 3 men stopped to help me pick things up. less than a few weeks later when I dropped yet more things, a man practically stood on my stuff walking past and nobody helped. Was makeup free, hair in scruffy ponytail and wearing baggy trousers, trainers and fitted tee. A correlation perhaps?!

Without question. I have noticed this in my own daily life.

LagputLew

It's sad to see an everday act of kindness fade away.
I was in Manhattan last week opened the door for a woman and said good morning,
she stopped turned and asked me if I was from Texas :-)

I feel that the human touch has become less important than automated availability and how smart a device or call service is.

Shinpiden

Really wouldn’t know any other way to be. Open doors (strangely some of today’s women prefer one doesn’t do this), pull out chairs, stand when a lady enters (even if she doesn’t realize she is), stop dead in my tracks when a women approaches what will become a “crossing of paths” to allow her to go first (boy this gets some peculiar stares), wait in an elevator for the ladies to exit (or outside for them to enter)…

This of course is the tip of a very large iceberg! Removing one’s hat when entering a building and certainly not wearing one at a table (eating or otherwise). Yes Sir, No Sir (that’s what you had better say when I was growing up (still is the best defense when stopped by the friendly constabulary).

To this day it is best if a man do not (in my presence) take upon himself to strike a woman (regardless of reason) whomever she may be (wife, girlfriend, “working” girl…).

I make every effort to not allow any child (of which I am aware) go without necessities (food, clothing, shelter…). Protect the weak from the abuses of the strong! Council any in need (desiring such council).

Continually with vigilance, honor, integrity and unshakable resolve be a friend to humankind!

Yes, chivalry is not dead though I suspect it is in a terminal state of devolvement.

SheBeButLittleSheisFierce

It isn't dead, it is just endangered. I still very much enjoy being treated like a lady. But to want be treated like a lady, one must act the part of a lady.