Chivalry is dead?

Texusmc

I kept thinking about this last night as I had posted on my account about the indifferent parenting skills of some people while at Chic-Fil-A. This is one definition of Chivalry :

"The combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak"

I was taught these ideals (minus the Knightly stature and combat portion) and they flourished while I was in the Marines. But I was also taught to use manners, "please, thank you, yes ma'am, no ma'am, yes sir, no sir" etc... I was also taught you open the door for women, the disabled, and the elderly. I still open the door for my s.o. (car door too even when she is in a mood- different story).

I try to pass on this ethos and way of thinking to my son's. It has been a struggle as they see the rest of society being rude, crude and just down right mean.
I am curious, who among the men here are trying to be Chivalrous and use their manners?

AsaThorsWoman

I wish more were.

There is certainly a sub-culture out there trying to destroy it.

VeryKatie

Both genders could learn lessons about this!

Holly_Roman_Empire

You could be that way because you're in Texas, or you could be that way because of your military history. Regardless, I have serious doubts that parents are still teaching their kids manners today, whether they be boys or girls.

RunnerStephe

I do. I wave to people, I smile. I say hello. I hold the door open. I treat everyone with kindness. Try to never get angry. Very few even appreciate it.

rowlandsw

It's dead for sure. It died with the hippies who gave rise to our generation, i'm not ashamed to admit that we gen xers are bad at parenting, and it's kept going downhill. It's just a sign of the overall decline of American society and civility. People have become so used to being handfed that they want someone to raise their kids for them, to tell them how, to tell them what to eat and when. It's all a product of social engineering started by the babyboomer hippies who now run things. My parents taught me to open doors for women, how to behave in public and everything their parents (strict old school parents) taught them.

TheNewPriceIsLoading

I was raised to be chivalrous. My generation seems to think that when a guy who was raised like myself is being themselves, that they are trying to hit on them or get in their pants by being chivalrous. Messed up..... Sick of it.

RainRedfield

I do my best to be polite to every person I meet.

I treat ladies like ladies
and gentlemen like gentlemen

That being said, it's hard to maintain the level of respect and manners with those who (after meeting them) don't deserve it.

I have tried to instill my same respectful mannerisms in my daughter and thus far she has become a well-mannered young lady.

Chivalry is not dead, but the art and persona is dwindling. I still practice it and I know my daughter will look for those traits in a man as she becomes a self-reliant woman.

Thank you for this post and thank you for serving this country with your time and dedication, Texusmc.
Keep fighting the good fight.

mlanders22

I don't know if this is chivalry or just general politeness and courtesy. I was raised to say please, thank you, hold doors, etc. I still do those things every day. My daughter (who will be 3 in September) knows to say please, thank you, and you're welcome.
It's not dead.

Mindarin

I was raised to be chivalrous. My generation seems to think that when a guy who was raised like myself is being themselves, that they are trying to hit on them or get in their pants by being chivalrous. Messed up..... Sick of it.

Just wanted to say thanks to all the guys who still do show respect w/out expecting anything in return. Carry on. I'll keep smiling and thanking you when you open doors for me.

chivalryder

It's not dead as long as I'm not dead.

It's actually frustrating some times because many women just don't get it any longer.

Texusmc

I am starting to see a trend, seems the "older" a guy is (mid 30's on up) the more he was taught manners. very few under 30 men have been taught this. I was partly raised by my grand parents who were very strict and Depression era survivors. so to me that might have allot to do with it.

TheNewPriceIsLoading

I was raised to be chivalrous. My generation seems to think that when a guy who was raised like myself is being themselves, that they are trying to hit on them or get in their pants by being chivalrous. Messed up..... Sick of it.

Just wanted to say thanks to all the guys who still do show respect w/out expecting anything in return. Carry on. I'll keep smiling and thanking you when you open doors for me.

I stand corrected, there is some light out there, but very dim because of how rare and once in a blue moon it is to find a woman with understanding in my generation.

TheNewPriceIsLoading

I am starting to see a trend, seems the "older" a guy is (mid 30's on up) the more he was taught manners. very few under 30 men have been taught this. I was partly raised by my grand parents who were very strict and Depression era survivors. so to me that might have allot to do with it.

For all intents and purposes, I am 26.

JGonzo82

I was raised to be chivalrous. My generation seems to think that when a guy who was raised like myself is being themselves, that they are trying to hit on them or get in their pants by being chivalrous. Messed up..... Sick of it.

Just wanted to say thanks to all the guys who still do show respect w/out expecting anything in return. Carry on. I'll keep smiling and thanking you when you open doors for me.

^^^
I'll second this.

triciabh1

I do. I wave to people, I smile. I say hello. I hold the door open. I treat everyone with kindness. Try to never get angry. Very few even appreciate it.

This is me too...I know I'm not a man but I have two sons and I try to be the best role model for them. Obviously I'm not perfect and my kids aren't perfect but I am starting to see my influence on them, especially in my oldest who is almost 9. The number one thing in our house is the "Golden Rule".

chivalryder

I am starting to see a trend, seems the "older" a guy is (mid 30's on up) the more he was taught manners. very few under 30 men have been taught this. I was partly raised by my grand parents who were very strict and Depression era survivors. so to me that might have allot to do with it.

For all intents and purposes, I am 26.

I'm 28...

Texusmc

You could be that way because you're in Texas, or you could be that way because of your military history. Regardless, I have serious doubts that parents are still teaching their kids manners today, whether they be boys or girls.

being from Texas really doesn't have much to do with it, however, we do expect our young men to act proper. yeah you do jackassery type of things with your buddies, but when ladies are around you better straighten up. The Military aspect of it just reinforced this I guess.

Bri_Becq

We live in a world where kindness and manners are so scarce, it is often confused with bad intentions. This is sad...

Texusmc

I am starting to see a trend, seems the "older" a guy is (mid 30's on up) the more he was taught manners. very few under 30 men have been taught this. I was partly raised by my grand parents who were very strict and Depression era survivors. so to me that might have allot to do with it.

For all intents and purposes, I am 26.

I'm 28...

you are one of the few! and keep up the good work

ItsMeGee3

I hope not. At least not with my husband and 3 sons!

Oi_Sunshine

My boys are learning. They are 6 and almost 4, and doing a marvelous job.

RavenLibra

I offer a hand to any and all that I come across in my life... whether it's grabbing a door, or offering a smile to everyone heading in the opposite direction... I groom myself, everyday...carry breath mints, a multi-tool, and a small pack of band aids... most recently I shared my over-sized umbrella with a young lady trying to use her gym bag to shield herself from the rain.

I do it because it makes me feel good... and to set an example for anyone looking for an example.

_KitKat_

I love when others have manners, I hold doors for people all the time and always use excuse me, please, and thank you.

As far as chivalry, I love when a man is a gentlemen and never assume it's a sexual advance or that he is somehow implying I am too weak. My husband always pumps my gas, holds doors, orders my drinks from the bar and a million other small things to show respect. He even carries any bags or the heaviest, even though he lifts with me and knows damn well how much I can lift.

I teach my daughters manners and my husband shows them how a man behaves with women. My husband also does these things for any woman in his presence, he respects woman and doesn't have any sexist attitudes and is actually very liberal.

I take insult with ultra feminists that view men's actions by the knights code and only see the part of helping the weak. Just because a man shows chivalry does not mean he views you as weak. My husband holds doors for guys also...so :drinker:

Ashes_To_Beast

Always, and I'm making sure my son will do the same.. For some reason common courtesy is on the brink of extinction. But that's no reason to give up on it.

Holly_Roman_Empire

I was raised to be chivalrous. My generation seems to think that when a guy who was raised like myself is being themselves, that they are trying to hit on them or get in their pants by being chivalrous. Messed up..... Sick of it.

Just wanted to say thanks to all the guys who still do show respect w/out expecting anything in return. Carry on. I'll keep smiling and thanking you when you open doors for me.

I stand corrected, there is some light out there, but very dim because of how rare and once in a blue moon it is to find a woman with understanding in my generation.

Yeah, because I expect men to be mannerly and chivalrous, I very rarely recognize when a man IS flirting with me. I like to think that people generally want to be good people, and not just to get something in return.

_lyndseybrooke_

Dave Chapelle on the subject: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foyT72BVouU

"Chivalry is dead. And women killed it."

Serah87

I was raised to be chivalrous. My generation seems to think that when a guy who was raised like myself is being themselves, that they are trying to hit on them or get in their pants by being chivalrous. Messed up..... Sick of it.

Just wanted to say thanks to all the guys who still do show respect w/out expecting anything in return. Carry on. I'll keep smiling and thanking you when you open doors for me.

^^^
I'll second this.

Third this!!

Grumpsandwich

I taught my son manners and enforced the use of please and thank you. I often got told on how my son was a " little old man" because he held doors for people since primary school and spoke politely He was an absolute angel in the public eye ( regardless of what a terror he was at home lol ) Shame i could never get him to clean his room though lol

Gilbrod

Beings in the boy scouts, things have been engrained in me. My wife never opens her car door if I'm with her. She never holds her own umbrella if it's rainy and I am around. I'm raising my boys to be the same as well. I try to be friendly with people in all sorts of manner. I *kitten* you not, I held open the door for a lady once at the gym. She said, and I quote "What?! You don't think I can open my own door?! This isn't the middle ages you know!!!" I laughed my *kitten* off right in front of her and gave her a you're welcome. When I go for runs, I smile and wave at other joggers. Some give me a wierdo look. Too many cynics out there with their glasses half empty if you ask me. As long as my wife likes it, it'll be done.

Shawshankcan

The notion of chivalry annoys me. It favours men helping women. Really, we need to move past that and think how can we help one another, regardless of sex or limited abilities. Because I am a man, am I not deserving to have a door held for me, especially when It arms are full. I suspect people would be willing to run and rep a woman struggling with something heavy, but more releuctant to help a male in the same situation.