Chivalry is dead?

Oi_Sunshine

My boys are learning. They are 6 and almost 4, and doing a marvelous job.

RavenLibra

I offer a hand to any and all that I come across in my life... whether it's grabbing a door, or offering a smile to everyone heading in the opposite direction... I groom myself, everyday...carry breath mints, a multi-tool, and a small pack of band aids... most recently I shared my over-sized umbrella with a young lady trying to use her gym bag to shield herself from the rain.

I do it because it makes me feel good... and to set an example for anyone looking for an example.

_KitKat_

I love when others have manners, I hold doors for people all the time and always use excuse me, please, and thank you.

As far as chivalry, I love when a man is a gentlemen and never assume it's a sexual advance or that he is somehow implying I am too weak. My husband always pumps my gas, holds doors, orders my drinks from the bar and a million other small things to show respect. He even carries any bags or the heaviest, even though he lifts with me and knows damn well how much I can lift.

I teach my daughters manners and my husband shows them how a man behaves with women. My husband also does these things for any woman in his presence, he respects woman and doesn't have any sexist attitudes and is actually very liberal.

I take insult with ultra feminists that view men's actions by the knights code and only see the part of helping the weak. Just because a man shows chivalry does not mean he views you as weak. My husband holds doors for guys also...so :drinker:

Ashes_To_Beast

Always, and I'm making sure my son will do the same.. For some reason common courtesy is on the brink of extinction. But that's no reason to give up on it.

Holly_Roman_Empire

I was raised to be chivalrous. My generation seems to think that when a guy who was raised like myself is being themselves, that they are trying to hit on them or get in their pants by being chivalrous. Messed up..... Sick of it.

Just wanted to say thanks to all the guys who still do show respect w/out expecting anything in return. Carry on. I'll keep smiling and thanking you when you open doors for me.

I stand corrected, there is some light out there, but very dim because of how rare and once in a blue moon it is to find a woman with understanding in my generation.

Yeah, because I expect men to be mannerly and chivalrous, I very rarely recognize when a man IS flirting with me. I like to think that people generally want to be good people, and not just to get something in return.

_lyndseybrooke_

Dave Chapelle on the subject: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foyT72BVouU

"Chivalry is dead. And women killed it."

Serah87

I was raised to be chivalrous. My generation seems to think that when a guy who was raised like myself is being themselves, that they are trying to hit on them or get in their pants by being chivalrous. Messed up..... Sick of it.

Just wanted to say thanks to all the guys who still do show respect w/out expecting anything in return. Carry on. I'll keep smiling and thanking you when you open doors for me.

^^^
I'll second this.

Third this!!

Grumpsandwich

I taught my son manners and enforced the use of please and thank you. I often got told on how my son was a " little old man" because he held doors for people since primary school and spoke politely He was an absolute angel in the public eye ( regardless of what a terror he was at home lol ) Shame i could never get him to clean his room though lol

Gilbrod

Beings in the boy scouts, things have been engrained in me. My wife never opens her car door if I'm with her. She never holds her own umbrella if it's rainy and I am around. I'm raising my boys to be the same as well. I try to be friendly with people in all sorts of manner. I *kitten* you not, I held open the door for a lady once at the gym. She said, and I quote "What?! You don't think I can open my own door?! This isn't the middle ages you know!!!" I laughed my *kitten* off right in front of her and gave her a you're welcome. When I go for runs, I smile and wave at other joggers. Some give me a wierdo look. Too many cynics out there with their glasses half empty if you ask me. As long as my wife likes it, it'll be done.

Shawshankcan

The notion of chivalry annoys me. It favours men helping women. Really, we need to move past that and think how can we help one another, regardless of sex or limited abilities. Because I am a man, am I not deserving to have a door held for me, especially when It arms are full. I suspect people would be willing to run and rep a woman struggling with something heavy, but more releuctant to help a male in the same situation.

catb58

My 30 year old son opens doors for people. I failed on the "sir" and "ma'am" because his father thought it was ridiculous, but "please" and "thank you" are definitely part of his vocabulary. His girlfriend has called me several times to thank me for raising such a nice man.

Myhaloslipped

I don't know if it is a regional thing, but I really miss southern gentlemen! I rarely see that sort of thing here in Detroit. However, I have noticed that both sexes are accepting of the lack of basic manners here. It isn't just the fault of the men.

Cheechos

Haha, what? Holding doors open for people is being a decent human being in general, not chivalry. In my experience, almost every person I've encountered at a door will either hold it open for me or have it be held open for them by me. The same goes for pleases, thank yous, etc. Maybe not "yes ma'am" or "no sir," but those things are pretty dated, especially with greater visibility of gender ambiguous people. I don't know why people think every change that happens is for the worst, but I suppose it's normal, considering every generation has thought the one that came after it would be the one to truly end the world and human civility for all. Retroactively applied rose tint will probably be my response when I get older too.

disneyprincess22

I was raised to be chivalrous. My generation seems to think that when a guy who was raised like myself is being themselves, that they are trying to hit on them or get in their pants by being chivalrous. Messed up..... Sick of it.

Just wanted to say thanks to all the guys who still do show respect w/out expecting anything in return. Carry on. I'll keep smiling and thanking you when you open doors for me.

disneyprincess22

Me too

April_KT

I was raised to be chivalrous. My generation seems to think that when a guy who was raised like myself is being themselves, that they are trying to hit on them or get in their pants by being chivalrous. Messed up..... Sick of it.

Just wanted to say thanks to all the guys who still do show respect w/out expecting anything in return. Carry on. I'll keep smiling and thanking you when you open doors for me.

^^^
I'll second this.

Also agree with this! I take it as politeness and always say thank you!

yankeedownsouth

My husband is one of the most chivalrous people I know. I don't know if it's because of the way he was raised or the fact that he's been in the military for 25 years or if it's just because he's an unbelievably nice person. But I like it either way. I also like the fact that my children (he's their step father) see how he treats me and all other people.

What always surprises me though is how many women actually get offended by his actions (holding doors, letting them enter elevators first, etc.). I just don't get that...

culo97

I try to pass on this ethos and way of thinking to my son's. It has been a struggle as they see the rest of society being rude, crude and just down right mean.
I am curious, who among the men here are trying to be Chivalrous and use their manners?

So many people these days feel like manners and courtesy are optional. They don't get why they are expected to act in ways that don't immediately benefit them or directly makes them feel good.

I like to think they are the minority. I think it's worthwhile to teach young men and women to have good manners regardless of what others do and don't do. They should keep on using manners even if they get rude or mean reactions.

By being kind and considerate, more opportunities and good things will come their way . Plus it makes them more pleasant to be around. It's worth it.

DanieRCC

I have a 5 year old boy who is learning these things. And my 12 year old daughter holds doors, says please's and thank you's and is familiar with how to talk to adults with respect. Not all parents out there have forgotten to instill these values.

Okapi42

Chivalry definitely isn't dead. I'm training my horse up for jousting.

As for politness, excellent - but I prefer it if people are polite to everyone, not just women. I have no problem holding doors for anyone. I do detest being called "ma'am", though, makes me feel old and frumpy.