Stubborn wife, advice please?

vim_n_vigor

Whole relationship issues discussion aside, with my 3 boys, I don't label foods as 'good' and 'bad'. They know there are foods that are better choices than others and if they make choices through the day that are 'better' choices, they can choose a snack that is on the 'sometimes' list. If their choices aren't as good during the day, then they need to choose from the 'better' choices list. The same goes for when we are out to eat. If they have had more nutrient dense foods throughout the day, they get to pretty much choose what they want off the menu. If they haven't had such good food throughout the day, they will not have all of those options available. The one year old doesn't really get the choices yet, but the 6 and 8 year old do. They understand that some food provides more benefit to their bodies than others, and that is the food they need to eat the most of. They also know that pop-tarts taste yummy, but they will only get those a few times a year.

lisalsd1

I haven't read all of the comments, but here's my 2 cents:

My mother was overweight; and consequently, I was an overweight kid. Being an overweight kid is pretty terrible. I really wish my father had "stepped in" and done something to help the situation. I, honestly, don't know what he could have done to change my mom's behaviors. He probably couldn't do anything, and that's why he didn't. He may have even tried to help, but I may not have been mature enough to see it at the time.

As an adult and parent now, I think the best thing that my dad could have done for me would have been set a better example for me as far as nutrition and exercise. He wasn't overweight while I was growing up, BUT he was far from healthy or fit.

Just keep up your healthy lifestyle/behaviors, your daughters are watching you as well as your wife. Encourage your children to engage in healthy activities with you.

miss_annette86

This is supposed to be forum where people are sharing advice and helping one another so shame on anyone belittling him for wanting to help his family. There is nothing wrong with this man wanting his family to be healthy and so many of you are giving him nothing but grief. All the comments about he should worry about himself and leave them alone are so wrong. If the eating habits of his wife and daughter are as unhealthy as he describes then he should absolutely speak up about it. While I do agree that it will probably be more difficult to change his wife's habits, his daughter is 100% his business and he has just as much a say in how she is raised as her mother does. If the decisions she is making for them both are putting them at risk then he is right for wanting to help them. Think about it, if you come from a family of people who drink heavily and you realize how much its hurting you and decide to become sober why shouldn't you want the same for those you love? Food Nazi my *kitten*! I would never let my daughter eat those things day in and day out. OP I commend you for the progress you've made thus far and for those offering encouraging words I'm sure he thanks you. I suggest you take their opinions and advise into consideration. There are better, less confrontational ways to address this problem other than telling her what they should and should not be eating. At the end of the day stay positive, don't attack your wife and do your part to make small changes which will affect the larger change you're seeking. Best of luck to you and your family.

martinel2099

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't force it to drink. Focus on your eating habits, there's no reason why you can't calorie count and maintain your diet despite how your daughter and wife eat.

My best advice is to lead by example. Your wife might not appreciate your wealth of weight loss knowledge now but after seeing your results over and over it will eventually start to rub off. It's also very important that you don't over do it, you could make weight loss off putting completely if you don't let up a tad. Encourage healthy choices when you can, let it go when you can't.

Also I wouldn't worry so much about your daughter, she's young and children burn a lot more calories playing all day than you might think. Take her to a children's doctor annually and let them be the judge of whether or not she's putting on too much weight.

WinoGelato

Thank you all for the advice and butt-kicking. I was in a rotten mood when I posted it, so I apologize if I came off sounding like an unkind person toward my wife. I will take all of your helpful advice and try to work constructively with my wife to create a healthy eating environment for my daughter, when we eat at home and at restaurants. This morning we discussed how most kid's menus are filled with not-so-great options, and perhaps we should just share our food with her. I will note that my wife is an excellent cook, and goes out of her way to make healthy meals at home. It's just when we eat out that I see problems. I will also try to encourage the whole family to be more active, as long as we can keep it fun. More dancing, less sitting around, etc. If I have serious concerns about my daughter's health I will talk to her pediatrician. Thanks again.

I am reposting the OP's much less sinister second post where he says that he was in a bad mood and maybe the problem isn't quite as severe as what he indicated originally.

I don't think he's coming back. Save your advice about being too involved/not involved enough for the next person who doesn't understand the internet is forever when he or she chooses to express some marital frustrations on a forum thread...

Atomic12wbt

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