Body shaming at its absolute worst... thoughts please.

Tillyecl1

In the Daily Fail:


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2686676/Why-todays-young-women-unashamed-fat-Horrified-rolls-flesh-shes-witnessed-summer-LINDA-KELSEY-takes-no-prisoners.html

Obviously this is an opinion piece but I am quite uncomfortable with both the article and the comments (which involve body shaming at both ends of the spectrum, i.e 'fat people are gross' as well as 'only dogs like bones').

I was just wondering what people thought and if you have ever been guilty of body shaming (intentionally or otherwise)?

Also, given that no one is perfect and that people's view of what is beautiful is subjective, is it ever OK to comment on another person in this way or would it be different if this article had been written about a celebrity for example?

gothchiq

I think we've all done it at some time or another, including to ourselves. That said, it's not a thing we really *should* do. I hate mean nasty articles; all they do is make people feel like crap. Fat is not a moral failing. There are lots of reasons that make people fat (or skinny), and it's wrong to judge and point fingers. If we're in a position to advise someone at all (usually because that person has asked for help, or is complaining about their body and doesn't know what to do) then I think it's best to advise for health, such as recommending eating more nonstarchy vegetables and taking a walk every day, and let them deal with any size issues themselves or with their doctor.... unless they specifically come to you saying "I don't like my weight, do you know how I can change it." but then that advice should be offered in a nonjudgmental way and for the ultimate goal of improving health rather than just focusing on looks.

WithWhatsLeft

It might be more... comfortable to understand the point she's trying to make if she didn't keep using the word "fatty".

girldownsouth

I found this article to be horrifically offensive, but typical of the daily mail. I think it's a complicated subject that she clearly doesn't have the insight to understand. Although, at the same time, I personally wouldn't display my legs in hotpants...

Hell_Flower

My advice is to never read the Daily Mail.

Contrived, sensationalist crap with a reading age of 7 years.

That said, I agree with the point about over-feeding your children and that it should be classified as abuse. Starving your child would definitely warrant a visit from social services - stuffing them full of MacDonalds and fatty processed food sure as hell should as well. A child who is 2 stone over-weight is just as at risk as a child who is 2 stone underweight.

nelinelineli

I empathise with what she wrote. That being said, this sort of passionate hatred often (if not always) simply reveals the writer's own fears and frustrations. She's just projecting, trying to rationalise her own fears of being fat, and I feel her pain, but it has nothing to do with others imo.

levitateme

Edit: Nevermind.

meridianova

It looks like the writer took the gold medal in "Jumping to Conclusions" at the 2012 Olympics. What she doesn't know (and honestly has no way of knowing) is what the daily lives of those girls are really like. She comments that they're sharing a bag of crisps (ZOMG! THE HORROR!), but for all we know that bag may have been something convenience store-sized, not the giant family bag intended to serve 20 people at a picnic. She doesn't know if those four agreed to treat themselves to a week on the beach after they'd each lost 50 pounds. For all she knows, they may be joining a fitness getaway where they're running on the beach each day instead of just lounging on it.

While it's possible that she's right, these four are nothing but hamplanets brimming with fatlogic and thinking that they're the next Giselle Bunchen and plan to wear skimpy bikinis to show all the men their "curves", it's far more likely that she's overreacting because of her own disgust of fat. She hates to see it on herself, therefore anyone who is fat is 100 times more disgusting.

We're all guilty of snap judgements. Fortunately we're not all writing about them in the daily paper. She really should have just kept those opinions to herself.

msf74

Silly, ill informed opinion piece in the Daily Mail?

How surprising...

So_Much_Fab

DM is a POS website which is only useful if you want to read 5 articles on any of the Kardashian clan on any given day...

BerryH

It's written in the usual harsh Daily Mail click-bait style which unfortunately has detracted from what could have been a thoughtful message about the normalisation of larger sizes. When 50% of the population is overweight or obese, and TV is full of "fat shows", it's very easy to think, "At least I'm not THAT bad," or "There you see, I'm only average," and not see that your size risks threatening your health. 20 years ago, I would never have been able to buy my size clothes in anything but a plus-size store, but now pretty much every high-street shop carries at least 5 sizes bigger than mine so I need never be chastened into losing weight by an unkind waistband again.

scraver2003

It looks like the writer took the gold medal in "Jumping to Conclusions" at the 2012 Olympics. What she doesn't know (and honestly has no way of knowing) is what the daily lives of those girls are really like. She comments that they're sharing a bag of crisps (ZOMG! THE HORROR!), but for all we know that bag may have been something convenience store-sized, not the giant family bag intended to serve 20 people at a picnic. She doesn't know if those four agreed to treat themselves to a week on the beach after they'd each lost 50 pounds. For all she knows, they may be joining a fitness getaway where they're running on the beach each day instead of just lounging on it.

While it's possible that she's right, these four are nothing but hamplanets brimming with fatlogic and thinking that they're the next Giselle Bunchen and plan to wear skimpy bikinis to show all the men their "curves", it's far more likely that she's overreacting because of her own disgust of fat. She hates to see it on herself, therefore anyone who is fat is 100 times more disgusting.

We're all guilty of snap judgements. Fortunately we're not all writing about them in the daily paper. She really should have just kept those opinions to herself.

^^^ This is EXACTLY what I was thinking.

Athijade

I refuse to even try to make an intelligent comment based off of something in the Daily Mail. So not worth the time.

hj1119

Being married to a Brit, this doesn't shock me. Stop reading the DM.

I will say, I don't entirely disagree with her statement about overfeeding children junk food being abuse, not love.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

Supertact

Someone being honest on the Internet?? Quick flame her!

I support this article and the author.

hmg90

Isn't every article in the daily mail like this, in larger or smaller degree?

If someone wants to be fat, they can be fat. It has nothing to do with me. I do find it annoying when they complain though.

Emeryeon

Whatever, that article literally makes me not want to eat anything all day. Im going to of course cause I might faint but still. I can see why some girls have eating disorders after being big.

CipherZero

It's now body-shaming to say things that are demonstrably factual?

NerdyAdventurer

Meh, a worthless opinion piece.

One thing I will agree with that she said is "We live in a society in which it has become OK to shame people for being skinny, but to come out and say 'You’re fat. Not healthy, not a good look' would be tantamount to a crime."

That is 100% true.

This

Holly_Roman_Empire

The best thing in the article is that the author says she says she doesn't have a daughter.

Dragonwolf

Someone being honest on the Internet?? Quick flame her!

I support this article and the author.

While I don't entirely disagree with some of the points that she made, there's a difference between being honest, yet tactful, and being an *kitten*. Calling people "fatties" is ****ish, at best. Her points are largely lost in her tactless writing, and I agree with some of the other people that have stated that it says more about her own insecurities about having any amount of fat on her body. Frankly, I'm glad she doesn't have a daughter. From the sounds of the article, the poor girl would be driven into one eating disorder or another by an overly-critical mother (I've seen just such a thing happen on more than one occasion).

JoeCampbell85

I'm going to say something that will not earn me any friends.

The lady, as abrasive as she is, has a point. We have, and I see it everyday in my family, became a society of fat-acceptance. Several members of my family have judged ex-girlfriends for being "too skinny" when, in reality, they were at a perfectly healthy weight. They openly did this with great fanfare but, heaven forbid, you call someone fat or even overweight.

As more Americans become more and more overweight and obese the problem increases. Being overweight is not just a case of vanity. If that was the case, then whatever but if you can criticize the skinny, be prepared to get it in return. It's a situation that has lead to sky rocketing health cost, ruined lives, and wrecked families. Of Course, under eating is just as bad. The difference of course is that society accepts the health risk of being underweight and openly criticize those whom are underweight

Fat shaming is not ok but the level of misapplied political correctness that is applied to obesity status is overwhelming. It may not be those children's fault but the day you reach 18, except in special circumstances, it is. Their parents may have shown bad eating habits but that is hardly an excuse. A drug addict is still a drug addict even if their parents started them on it. Not that obesity is as bad as drugs.

We should come down on parents hard that raise obese kids. We are doing no one any favors by not doing it. Those children will, most likely, lead a life wrecked with health problems. Why are we protecting this? Why can't we just be honest and straight forward and say, "look, your kid is overweight. You're putting them at risk." Heaven forbid you say that, yet saying a kid needs to "put a little meat on his bones" is A OK.

To answer you question and to point at the elephant in the room, yes I've been body shamed. I was 6'2 and about 165 lbs, long distance runner and healthy. People told me I was twig and bones and that I was too skinny. I need to gain weight. Being skinny is unattractive. OMG look! I can see you ribs! Give me a break...

/end rant.

snikkins

Meh, a worthless opinion piece.

One thing I will agree with that she said is "We live in a society in which it has become OK to shame people for being skinny, but to come out and say 'You’re fat. Not healthy, not a good look' would be tantamount to a crime."

That is 100% true.

This

And then she goes on to body shame skinny people too.

ETA: At least, that's how it came across to me.

jmv7117

In the Daily Fail:


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2686676/Why-todays-young-women-unashamed-fat-Horrified-rolls-flesh-shes-witnessed-summer-LINDA-KELSEY-takes-no-prisoners.html

Obviously this is an opinion piece but I am quite uncomfortable with both the article and the comments (which involve body shaming at both ends of the spectrum, i.e 'fat people are gross' as well as 'only dogs like bones').

I was just wondering what people thought and if you have ever been guilty of body shaming (intentionally or otherwise)?

Also, given that no one is perfect and that people's view of what is beautiful is subjective, is it ever OK to comment on another person in this way or would it be different if this article had been written about a celebrity for example?

I'm guilty of body shaming towards myself. Negative self talk is not OK but it happens. As far as verbally body shaming others, no it is not ok but you can't control what others think either. Body shaming has been a societal issue for eons and not just directed at weight.

galprincess

I think the way it was written is the problem for me, size etc will always be a heated discussion I go for lunch with friends and it always comes up but I hate the way that some people are naturally negative for example the article was talking about them on a beach but we don't know why they are dressed in swimwear on a beach is it a campaign for getting healthy or to make you feel accepted as you are she just assumed they were ill dressed flaunting it on a beach.
I agree with the child abuse angle and this bothers me greatly but I do think its the Daily Mail and so id ignore it

kwaz29

I agree that she said her piece in a way that is brash and insulting, but what she is essentially saying seems to be that obesity is a problem that needs to be corrected. Isn't that what pretty much everyone here (excepting those looking to gain weight/muscle) has realized too---you are mostly all trying to lose weight because you are unhappy being fat or unhealthy and looking to improve your health, aren't you? I know I am! I don't really see how it's ok to say that fat is bad and that you don't want to be fat anymore or be trying to lose weight as it applies to yourself, but if someone else says that fat is bad and that people should lose weight, its the end of the world.

Although she wrote it in a way that was meant to get people up in arms because its the DM-the point is that a lot of people are fat nowadays and it's becoming a problem. If no one is ever allowed to say it's a problem for fear of offending people or being told that they are body shaming, when will it end?

jmv7117

Being married to a Brit, this doesn't shock me. Stop reading the DM.

I will say, I don't entirely disagree with her statement about overfeeding children junk food being abuse, not love.

I agree that overfeeding children junk food is abuse not love. It sets them up for a life long struggle with their weight, affects their self esteem and leads to eating disorders :huh:

Dragonwolf

I'm going to say something that will not earn me any friends.

The lady, as abrasive as she is, has a point. We have, and I see it everyday in my family, became a society of fat-acceptance. Several members of my family have judged ex-girlfriends for being "too skinny" when, in reality, they were at a perfectly healthy weight. They openly did this with great fanfare but, heaven forbid, you call someone fat or even overweight.

As more Americans become more and more overweight and obese the problem increases. Being overweight is not just a case of vanity. If that was the case, then whatever but if you can criticize the skinny, be prepared to get it in return. It's a situation that has lead to sky rocketing health cost, ruined lives, and wrecked families. Of Course, under eating is just as bad. The difference of course is that society accepts the health risk of being underweight and openly criticize those whom are underweight

Fat shaming is not ok but the level of misapplied political correctness that is applied to obesity status is overwhelming. It may not be those children's fault but the day you reach 18, except in special circumstances, it is. Their parents may have shown bad eating habits but that is hardly an excuse. A drug addict is still a drug addict even if their parents started them on it. Not that obesity is as bad as drugs.

We should come down on parents hard that raise obese kids. We are doing no one any favors by not doing it. Those children will, most likely, lead a life wrecked with health problems. Why are we protecting this? Why can't we just be honest and straight forward and say, "look, your kid is overweight. You're putting them at risk." Heaven forbid you say that, yet saying a kid needs to "put a little meat on his bones" is A OK.

/end rant.

I don't think anyone's disagreeing with what you've stated, actually. However, calling people "fatties" is tactless, to say the least, as is "One way to start might be by calling a fat girl a fat girl. No apology required."

Seriously, does she not think that most girls/women who are overweight and obese don't already know this about themselves? While there are some who do have that "don't give a damn" attitude, many just project it, at least for a period of time, or hanging out with their friends helps them get away from the negativity they are drowned in every time they look in the mirror or at a magazine cover.

There are far too many women who have ended up with metabolic and endocrine issues from it, as well, that have then actively tried to lose weight and have gone through some pretty hefty extremes, just to fail, and finally say "f this. If I'm going to be fat anyway, I might as well enjoy things instead of depriving myself for a goal that's obviously impossible."

The thing is, though, no one can know which type of person someone is, just by seeing them for 5 minutes in a line to somewhere. Like someone else mentioned, for all she knows, they've already lost a significant amount of weight and are treating themselves to a shared bag of chips as they go for a walk or whatever.

On a side note, given the lack of both fat and muscle in her picture, I'd be curious to see a) her thoughts on more muscular women, and b) just how much body fat crosses the line from "okay" to "disgusting" in her mind, just out of morbid curiosity.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

jmv7117

I'm going to say something that will not earn me any friends.

The lady, as abrasive as she is, has a point. We have, and I see it everyday in my family, became a society of fat-acceptance. Several members of my family have judged ex-girlfriends for being "too skinny" when, in reality, they were at a perfectly healthy weight. They openly did this with great fanfare but, heaven forbid, you call someone fat or even overweight.

As more Americans become more and more overweight and obese the problem increases. Being overweight is not just a case of vanity. If that was the case, then whatever but if you can criticize the skinny, be prepared to get it in return. It's a situation that has lead to sky rocketing health cost, ruined lives, and wrecked families. Of Course, under eating is just as bad. The difference of course is that society accepts the health risk of being underweight and openly criticize those whom are underweight

Fat shaming is not ok but the level of misapplied political correctness that is applied to obesity status is overwhelming. It may not be those children's fault but the day you reach 18, except in special circumstances, it is. Their parents may have shown bad eating habits but that is hardly an excuse. A drug addict is still a drug addict even if their parents started them on it. Not that obesity is as bad as drugs.

We should come down on parents hard that raise obese kids. We are doing no one any favors by not doing it. Those children will, most likely, lead a life wrecked with health problems. Why are we protecting this? Why can't we just be honest and straight forward and say, "look, your kid is overweight. You're putting them at risk." Heaven forbid you say that, yet saying a kid needs to "put a little meat on his bones" is A OK.

To answer you question and to point at the elephant in the room, yes I've been body shamed. I was 6'2 and about 165 lbs, long distance runner and healthy. People told me I was twig and bones and that I was too skinny. I need to gain weight. Being skinny is unattractive. OMG look! I can see you ribs! Give me a break...

/end rant.

Totally agree! Obesity is costing the health care system aka your tax dollars.