Body shaming at its absolute worst... thoughts please.
Replies
-
thisShaming...be it for weight, smoking, drug addiction...whatever is counterproductive.
You don't tell someone that they are worthless, and then tell that they are capable of doing something exceptionally difficult.
What you do tell them:
You're worthwhile.
You can do something.
I'm willing to help you.
How shall we start?
This is called coddling and does not work. The question is are u ready to drop the excuses? Ready to work hard sweat and be a tad uncomfortable? Do u really want this?
The 2 approaches are not mutually exclusive - people can be told they are worthwhile and can do something and also be told it will be uncomfortable and they need to sweat hard at it.
I don't think shaming people ever motivates them to do anything though.
I think nearly all people learn all things better through positive reinforcement and encouragement, rather than shaming and punitive measures.
Exactly. Why does it have to be either/or? Can we not, as a society, admit that being obese is unhealthy and encourage others to lose weight WITHOUT calling them "fatties" and telling them to "cover up"?? It is very rare that shaming someone actually accomplishes anything. So why do it, other than just to make someone feel bad? Trust me, no fat person looks in the mirror and doesn't know they're fat.
The most bothersome thing about this thread are those commenting about others' appearance. It's one thing to be concerned about the health of our country, it's another to bash someone b/c they have "dimples" (btw, a lot of thin women have cellulite, should they forgo the shorts too?).
yes no one wants to see cellulite and dimples on anything fat or thin.
These things exist, keep them at home, love yourself but the rest of the world does not need to see it and we dont WANT to see it. Keep it at home where it belongs
I can't stand it when people like you who have been hardened by one thing or another issue these proclamations on what people should do and just what the world does and does not want to see. And of course it's always delivered in an unkind way preceded by an "I'm just being honest." You are being honest but only about your sh1tty world view, not the world. Just because someone isn't disgusted by an imperfect human body doesn't mean they're lying, or coddling, or living a make believe world. Your cold, crappy "reality" is just yours, thank god.
I love you.
0 -
In.
(Wait. Was I already in this thread? Oh well, just in case...in.)0 -
no, you weren't. because I just saw it in your news feed.In.
(Wait. Was I already in this thread? Oh well, just in case...in.)
Oh, I guess I'm in too, now.0 -
In one episode of "House". A woman rather keeps the tumor in her stomach to look "plumped" because her husband likes her that way...so I guess there are people who prefer staying the way they are....0
-
Oh wow, people wear what they WANT?! And they don't apologise for their fatness and force your poor eyes to look? Christ almighty what a *****. ***** needs to worry about herself and realize that other people aren't here to decorate her world.
they need to care about themselves, dress appropriately and present their best to the world.
That's a nice booty call tattoo you've got going there.0 -
Then the problem is within you.[
EVERYONE with any BODY SIZE should dress appropriately! I find thin girls in microbikinis look whoreish, odler women in bikinis look haggard, women who try to hard to be young when they are old are silly looking, and men with guts hanging out the bottom of their t shirt, gross!!!!!!0 -
I will have to disagree with you here.
I don't think shaming people ever motivates them to do anything though.
I think nearly all people learn all things better through positive reinforcement and encouragement, rather than shaming and punitive measures.
My mom started gaining weight slowly in her early 30's. We all have been trying in the most supportive way to get her to eat a little less and healthier, but nothing worked. She was just getting bigger. At 56yo she was about 300lbs (5'7")
Then one day she met a classmate she hasn't seen in 10 years. He said something like: "Hey, look what you have done to yourself, you are so fat I didn't recognize you"
Was she mad? Hell yah!! She went home and cried for hours. But then she started desperately searching for a way to lose weight. In 1 year she lost 120lbs, now she has maintained for another year and says she will never go back to being fat. More because she feels much better health wise and enjoys life, but all started with a nasty comment
Oh look it worked once, it must be more effective
Even then, a comment like this from someone you've known in your youth is actually not that bad, and the receiver may actually know it's coming from a place of love due to a shared history. I bet this man would blush if he read some of the posts here!0 -
Body shaming is just another fancy term for bullying. If you body shame others, congratulations! Your social skills have not evolved beyond middle school! It's recess all over again! If it makes you feel any better, use all of the excuses and justifications you like, but the fact of the matter is, you judge people based on their appearance, not on who that person is, their accomplishments or their contributions to the world.
Some people are happy with their appearance and the way they choose to live their life. It should have absolutely no effect on you one way or the other. Is someone's existence a personal affront to you because of their jiggling? Are you really that concerned that your health care costs will go up in such a way that you will never notice because someone, somewhere is fat?
I've got some great advice.
When you see someone whose appearance you just find to be awful, or think that they should take better care of themselves, do the following.
1. Take a deep breath
2. Deep breath, let it just fill up your lungs.
3. Exhale slowly.
4. Get over it.
You live your life, teach your children to grow up healthy and strong and lead by example. Leave other people alone. Everyone will be happier, especially you!0 -
As I said, other people are not here to decorate your world. Spending time commenting on the appearance of others and dictating to others what to and not to wear is time wasted.Oh wow, people wear what they WANT?! And they don't apologise for their fatness and force your poor eyes to look? Christ almighty what a *****. ***** needs to worry about herself and realize that other people aren't here to decorate her world.
they need to care about themselves, dress appropriately and present their best to the world.0 -
Then the problem is within you.[
EVERYONE with any BODY SIZE should dress appropriately! I find thin girls in microbikinis look whoreish, odler women in bikinis look haggard, women who try to hard to be young when they are old are silly looking, and men with guts hanging out the bottom of their t shirt, gross!!!!!!
THIS. Oh, so this.0 -
This pissed me off so bad.0
-
This pissed me off so bad.
Not sure if you mean the original article or the thread. But if it was the original article - it was meant to. It was written for a tabloid magazine and the whole intent was to get a reaction.0 -
The only body anyone should be worried about is there own! Shamming fat people is wrong and shamming a skinny person is wrong, its also very annoying. Worry about yourself, there is always something else be hide that persons weight. We are more than just a number on a scale. I do think people should eat healthier and exercise more and that's about it, but to each its own at the end of the day.0
-
Know wonder this woman has been divorced twice!0
-
I think that this article has far less to do with an obesity epidemic than it has to do with a writer hoping to become some well paid pundit on some cable TV show.0
-
I think the author went too far. What's the point in insulting people?
I can only speak from experience, but the only way I have dug my way out of obesity is to educate myself and make smarter decisions about what/how much food I eat and how much physical activity I get - and BE AWARE of it every single day and I've worked really hard!
What good does this woman's criticism do? None. Why can't she use her writing skills to write an article, using the same photographs, to be more educating about being healthy and fitness instead of just being plain mean.
I'm guessing the point was to get a lot of people talking about and reposting the article. Which is what happened.0 -
I'm not a fan of shame, but I think it's a bit disingenuous to suggest that shaming someone isn't effective to move them toward action.
For crying out loud there an entire culture of shame in Japan surrounding women and their weight. It's a well studied phenomenon. There is an expectation of thinness, and negative social consequences, and yes shame, for not meeting those expectations. It's been enough to help keep Japanese women reversing the world wide trend of increasing obesity, as they are actually overall getting thinner.
There are societies and cultures in this world that simply do not tolerate obesity. I know a few people from various Asian cultures where it's common for people to flat out say to a friend or loved one "hey, you got fat". It's expected. The tiptoeing around fat is something that is becoming more pervasive in western societies but it's hardly universal. And the pressure to conform is powerful, and shame can absolutely be a powerful motivator.0 -
Slightly diverging from the topic... but if anyone is interested, here is the ultimate, intelligently written response to the Daily Mail from Amanda Palmer after her nipple 'escaping' at her Glastonbury show was featured in the daily mail...
http://amandapalmer.net/blog/20130713/
Watch the video! Although it includes nudity so is not safe for work, but the lyrics are written in underneath.0 -
This content has been removed.
-
This content has been removed.
-
I'm sure I'll be beaten severely about the head and shoulders for this, but honestly...as an obese person, a "fatty" if you will, she did nothing in the article but tell the truth....and yes, sometimes the truth is an unpleasant thing to have to confront, but until we do, we're not likely to improve our lot in life.
For most of us, it's been years of avoiding the truth about our weight. We camouflage it by couching it in terms like: my metabolism is slowing down, or I've quit smoking, or it comes with age....all bs excuses to avoid facing the truth that we've elected over the years to let ourselves go.
By her own admission her article and opinion is not politically correct, just as it should be. Sugar coating an opinion or facts isn't going to motivate me, or I suspect anyone else....this article was intended to shame us into action. Most of us are here because we ARE taking actions to improve our appearance, health or both....if her article shames 10's, 100's or 1,000's of others into taking action....at the risk of sun-burning my follicly challenged pate, my hats off to her.
I couldn't help but think exactly what she ended up expressing one day while waiting at a crosswalk in front of a highschool in Phoenix as the kids passed in front of me. At least half these kids, both boys and girls were fat or obese....there's no other way to say it. Recalling back to my high school years....I can only remember 2 kids in the whole school (not just my class) that were fat.
If something isn't done to turn the obesity tide, these kids are going to have very short, miserable lives giving themselves insulin shots and dialysis as kidneys fail etc. I speak from experience.....fortunately I'm a ways from diabetes, but I did have my heart explode last year....something that didn't need to happen....nothing genetic in the family history at all....just MY poor eating habits and lack of exercise....and there's no politically correct way of saying that....sorry.0 -
she's just calling it how she sees it, there is a big obesity problem, why should people apologise for speaking their minds?0
-
to the poster above me, good post, and absolutely, people dont like hearing the truth0
-
If being shamed worked than don't you think it would have worked by now? I'm going to bet that the majority of us who have struggled with weight have been shamed in our lives...be it on the school playground, or the dating scene, on the street or by friends and family.
I think each of us who struggles with weight is shouldering a lot of very heavy baggage of shame.
Adding more shame more doesn't do anything but feed the sense of superiority the person of the person doing the shaming.
I don't find this article motivating, I find it sad that someone has to pump up their own ego by tearing down others.0 -
I'm not a fan of shame, but I think it's a bit disingenuous to suggest that shaming someone isn't effective to move them toward action.
For crying out loud there an entire culture of shame in Japan surrounding women and their weight. It's a well studied phenomenon. There is an expectation of thinness, and negative social consequences, and yes shame, for not meeting those expectations. It's been enough to help keep Japanese women reversing the world wide trend of increasing obesity, as they are actually overall getting thinner.
There are societies and cultures in this world that simply do not tolerate obesity. I know a few people from various Asian cultures where it's common for people to flat out say to a friend or loved one "hey, you got fat". It's expected. The tiptoeing around fat is something that is becoming more pervasive in western societies but it's hardly universal. And the pressure to conform is powerful, and shame can absolutely be a powerful motivator.
Yes, shame is a very powerful force in Japan.
Say, what's the leading cause of death in that nation among males aged 20-44?0 -
There is more to Japanese society than a culture of shame. The foods which the Japanese traditionally eat are quite different than what we eat, the portion sizes are different as well.
If you google Japanese diet vs. American diet there are a number of articles on the differences.0 -
As I said, other people are not here to decorate your world. Spending time commenting on the appearance of others and dictating to others what to and not to wear is time wasted.Oh wow, people wear what they WANT?! And they don't apologise for their fatness and force your poor eyes to look? Christ almighty what a *****. ***** needs to worry about herself and realize that other people aren't here to decorate her world.
they need to care about themselves, dress appropriately and present their best to the world.
THINK OF THE CHILDREN!
Seriously, if you have not figured out the world I feel sorry for you. Try getting a job rolling in for an interview with rolls and cellulite hanging out. Looks matter.
I love my obese friends, does not mean I enjoy it when they let it all hang out. Dress appropriate for your age/size/build.
The girls in the article were going on holiday, not for a job interview.0 -
Sorry, I did not read all the replies.
Ok, yes, obesity is a large issue and something that needs to be address. Really we should be working on knocking out all obese levels of fat, and work on healthy children, with good eating habits. Obese is just as important as underweight, and I mean these in the true forms of the words, by body fat %, and bmi. There are many "underweight" people treat like anorexics when they are not, and that does happen to some "overweight" people too. We need to focus on society to look more healthy.
On the article: To me this article was all about vanity, not health. I do not like the word fatty or fat. Ummm, we all have fat, kind of something we need to live with. It is unhealthy amounts of fat on human bodies that are the issue. Also, the author address all overweight people, and my question, overweight by BMI or just someone who doesn't have a flat tummy and slender body? The terms do not mean the same to everyone either. This is where it bothers me. I am overweight according to my BMI by 8.4lbs, and according to body frame, by 17.4lbs. The author also said she assumed the girls in front of her was a size 18 and since that was UK, that means a UK 18, which is like a 14-16 american size. Depending on height, these girls could be just overweight and not even obese. And really, you don't want people to be happy about taking a trip and enjoying themselves, even if they carry more fat than need be on their bodies?
Now I know I am not healthy, I am working on it. I am not going to be a mopey depressed woman about it. I am not fat, I have too much body fat, which is not healthy. Forgive me for smiling and enjoying life with my kids.0 -
Being shamed is what got me wanting to be healthy in the first place. But I'm not a delicate little flower so....0
-
This content has been removed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions