Body shaming at its absolute worst... thoughts please.
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Sorry double post0
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I actually agree with your post ( and probably should not have quoted you). If she had stated things the way you had, I'd have not had a problem with it.I'm going to say something that will not earn me any friends.
The lady, as abrasive as she is, has a point. We have, and I see it everyday in my family, became a society of fat-acceptance. Several members of my family have judged ex-girlfriends for being "too skinny" when, in reality, they were at a perfectly healthy weight. They openly did this with great fanfare but, heaven forbid, you call someone fat or even overweight.
As more Americans become more and more overweight and obese the problem increases. Being overweight is not just a case of vanity. If that was the case, then whatever but if you can criticize the skinny, be prepared to get it in return. It's a situation that has lead to sky rocketing health cost, ruined lives, and wrecked families. Of Course, under eating is just as bad. The difference of course is that society accepts the health risk of being underweight and openly criticize those whom are underweight
Fat shaming is not ok but the level of misapplied political correctness that is applied to obesity status is overwhelming. It may not be those children's fault but the day you reach 18, except in special circumstances, it is. Their parents may have shown bad eating habits but that is hardly an excuse. A drug addict is still a drug addict even if their parents started them on it. Not that obesity is as bad as drugs.
We should come down on parents hard that raise obese kids. We are doing no one any favors by not doing it. Those children will, most likely, lead a life wrecked with health problems. Why are we protecting this? Why can't we just be honest and straight forward and say, "look, your kid is overweight. You're putting them at risk." Heaven forbid you say that, yet saying a kid needs to "put a little meat on his bones" is A OK.
To answer you question and to point at the elephant in the room, yes I've been body shamed. I was 6'2 and about 165 lbs, long distance runner and healthy. People told me I was twig and bones and that I was too skinny. I need to gain weight. Being skinny is unattractive. OMG look! I can see you ribs! Give me a break...
/end rant.
Totally agree! Obesity is costing the health care system aka your tax dollars.
As a fat person, I one hundred percent agree that my weight is unhealthy, and I am working hard to fix that. But the problem I have with the article is the fact that she seems to think that a person's worth to the world, as well as their self-worth, should be tied to their body weight, and that I vehemently disagree with.
Yes, I am a fat person. But that is not all that I am. I am smart, I have a M.D. and am working as a gastrointestinal pathologist at a major academic hospital in the US.
I am compassionate and care deeply about others.
I have a wonderful sense of humor.
I am more than my weight.
Yes, my weight is something I need to work on. But we all have flaws. Mine are just visible to the outside world.
And pardon my language, but I don't give a rats a** about folks tax dollars. I pay more in taxes than most folks, but I don't go bashing poor people because they aren't in the same tax bracket as I am.
I think the conversation is turning away from objectiveness about the dangers, cost, and behaviors of obesity and turning more personal so this will be my last topic on the subject. I understand why it can turn personal.
I don't think anyone here is advocating that a person's worth is measured by the scale. My post, which you quoted, most certainly didn't imply that in any way. I don't think pointing out to people that I know that they are overweight (they know) and being overweight comes with health and monetary risk is attacking their worth as a person. There may be a little chip on your shoulder if you read that from a comment like that.
But she does think a persons worth is based on their weight.
And for the folks who keep bringing up tax issues--- enough. I pay school taxes when I never plan to have children. We pay taxes for lots of things we don't benefit from, it's life. Does the obesity issue need to be addressed-- of course. But making people feel bad about it is not going to accomplish that goal.0 -
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Shaming...be it for weight, smoking, drug addiction...whatever is counterproductive.
You don't tell someone that they are worthless, and then tell that they are capable of doing something exceptionally difficult.
What you do tell them:
You're worthwhile.
You can do something.
I'm willing to help you.
How shall we start?0 -
Ah The Daily Fail.
It never disappoints on the idiocy front. How the eff did this get published? Was no one around at any point in the editing process to be all:0 -
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I don't know if men are better at math or women are better than men, but I think we are all better than shaming others.
One of my favorite quotes:
Be kind whenever possible.
It is always possible.0 -
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Haha haven't read the replies but I love the article. She mad because people be fat and carefree. **** off hangry lady. Go eat a cookie!
I loved the pictures of the ladies, they embodied what summer is all about and what we dream about when it's winter and freezing cold. Less clothes, more skin, OH, YEAH!!0 -
I agree with the article.
i was talking about this with my bf the other night, the young generation is mostly fat and they dont care. They are developing unhealthy life styles, it is gross to see rolls and dimples.
Who wants to spend their prime being unhealthy?
And why should the cost of our health care increase simply because people dont care about themselves?
Obesity should be warred on just like cigarettes and drugs, it is an overwhelming epidemic and a sad statement on how society is losing respect for itself.
If it takes shame to make people aware so be it. I wont coddle "feelings."
Put the chips down, cover up approropriately and get on a life style change.
I have not read the article - hard to open links on my ipad.
However, comments like "it is gross to see rolls and dimples" and people should "cover up appropriately" are not comments about health - they are comments about appearance.
I agree that obesity is a growing health problem and it needs to be addressed - but how people look and what they wear is not the issue - the health implications are.
Somebody obese and covered up is just as much at risk health wise as somebody wearing a crochet bikini.
if what we (we as in writers of articles or posters on MFP or anyone else publicly commenting) are concerned about are health issues, we need to make sure our comments are about health issues, not about appearance or clothing choices.0 -
Shaming...be it for weight, smoking, drug addiction...whatever is counterproductive.
You don't tell someone that they are worthless, and then tell that they are capable of doing something exceptionally difficult.
What you do tell them:
You're worthwhile.
You can do something.
I'm willing to help you.
How shall we start?
This is called coddling and does not work. The question is are u ready to drop the excuses? Ready to work hard sweat and be a tad uncomfortable? Do u really want this?
The 2 approaches are not mutually exclusive - people can be told they are worthwhile and can do something and also be told it will be uncomfortable and they need to sweat hard at it.
I don't think shaming people ever motivates them to do anything though.
I think nearly all people learn all things better through positive reinforcement and encouragement, rather than shaming and punitive measures.0 -
Shaming...be it for weight, smoking, drug addiction...whatever is counterproductive.
You don't tell someone that they are worthless, and then tell that they are capable of doing something exceptionally difficult.
What you do tell them:
You're worthwhile.
You can do something.
I'm willing to help you.
How shall we start?
This is called coddling and does not work. The question is are u ready to drop the excuses? Ready to work hard sweat and be a tad uncomfortable? Do u really want this?
The 2 approaches are not mutually exclusive - people can be told they are worthwhile and can do something and also be told it will be uncomfortable and they need to sweat hard at it.
I don't think shaming people ever motivates them to do anything though.
I think nearly all people learn all things better through positive reinforcement and encouragement, rather than shaming and punitive measures.
Exactly. Why does it have to be either/or? Can we not, as a society, admit that being obese is unhealthy and encourage others to lose weight WITHOUT calling them "fatties" and telling them to "cover up"?? It is very rare that shaming someone actually accomplishes anything. So why do it, other than just to make someone feel bad? Trust me, no fat person looks in the mirror and doesn't know they're fat.
The most bothersome thing about this thread are those commenting about others' appearance. It's one thing to be concerned about the health of our country, it's another to bash someone b/c they have "dimples" (btw, a lot of thin women have cellulite, should they forgo the shorts too?).0 -
As bad as American tabloids can be, I'm shocked at how nasty British tabloids are. The stuff is way more offensive and over the top than its American counterparts IMO. This editorial is really offensive. Every person should be able to be happy in public without others judging him/her for appearance.0
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My advice is to never read the Daily Mail.
Contrived, sensationalist crap with a reading age of 7 years.
^^^ this
response from non-Brits: OMG how can she say such things! That's terrible!
response from Brits: what did you expect from the Daily Fail? something intelligent? Good luck with that...0 -
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Don't read the daily mail.0
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Personally, I think the term "body shaming" is an overused buzzword that has pretty much lost its meaning at this point. Posing an opinion in an innocent, polite manner can get you torn to pieces for body shaming on places like MFP and it's so stupid. I've only been accused of it once or twice, but I see it happen every day.
On the other hand, the woman that wrote this article is a class A b*tch and a bit of an idiot. If people hadn't completely taken the meaning away from "body shaming," this would be a great example of that. As it is, she's just a c*nt. I mean, seriously, who is "mesmerized" by overweight people? And oh, "I kid you not, they were sharing a bag of crisps." OH MY DEAR LORD - NOT CRISPS! AHHHHHH! DEVIL FOOD! If they each had their own family-sized bag of Doritos, that might be worth mentioning, but still probably not.j
I do acknowledge that obesity is a huge problem, especially in the US and the UK and it needs to be addressed for health reasons, just like smoking and alcohol use. And yes, I'll admit that I've judged people's bodies out in public. However, I didn't say anything to those people, give them dirty looks, or go home and write an article about how fat they were. I'm no angel and I'm not always PC, but this article was pretty ridiculous.0 -
Also, a UK size 18 is a US size 14. I'm not sure those girls were big enough for this type of reaction.0
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I am sure I am guilty of body shaming another person at some point but it is myself that I do it to the most. People such as this person in this article, are not mature enough to speak other than the way they did. They are insecure and lack any confidence in themselves so putting down others is what they do to cope or they find sitting high and mighty and without flaw in their own minds that they lack the understanding of how other people and don't care how they feel. They have an orifice with noise coming out of it that they seem to like to hear. I just ignore the negatives and pat them on the head and tell them to run along and play in traffic. The adults know better than to act this way.0
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I didn't read the comments but I will say that for me it isn't body shaming when I think it or say it like people think. I grew up working for my dad who was in the Mother of the Bride business and he specialized in LARGE sizes. His size 12 was equivalent to most companies size 14. He did that on purpose because women are hung up on the number (we sold a woman who needed a size 16 dress but said she was a 12, a dress by changing the tag and telling her is a was a 12). Well one day when I was 13 and working a woman walked in and she needed a size 54 dress. I had never seen anyone that large and she had trouble fitting through the very large door. It scared me. I remember thinking "how did she get that big" and what bothered me about it was not that she was fat, but how did you she get do stuff.
I look at women who are large and put together and are like OK at least you put yourself together. However, I remember a woman in the building she was very large and she was making pasta, I was picking my daughter up, our kids were playing. She put butter on the pasta then added sauce and I remember thinking, well that is why she is large.
I don't have a problem with being overweight, I have a problem with the discomfort that comes with it. i like being active and doing stuff and I know how the weight can creep on. What I don't get is the people who are overweight and tell me, but I never eat. Who are they lying to? I have a good friend who is overweight, she moved to Arizona, she also has asthma, she came back telling us she swims 30 laps in the pool, but we had to walk 4 blocks and she was having trouble breathing. I understand different air and it was humid, but if she had been in shape it wouldn't have been that hard.
I also think people, men or women should dress for their body type. I do not look good in a bikini, not because of weight, just my shape. One peice bathing suits look so much better on me, so why would I wear a bikini when I could look better. Why would I put on an outfit that shows my muffin top when I could put on something that doesn't emphasize it. Same goes for anyone, why would a man put on a shirt that makes his belly look bigger? I get comfort, I totally believe in comfort, but putting on an outfit that just makes you look worse why? I mean naturally sweats or wearing yoga pants and t-shirt are OK sometimes.
Oh and if your at a pool, or the beach, put on a bathing suit, you don't need the skirt, but also don't need to wear something your falling out of. Go swimming, no matter your size. Life is too short to go nuts about looks, but feeling good about yourself, looking in the mirror and being like this looks OK, or putting on a bathing suit to go to beach no matter your size, go for it!!!!
There was a woman in a bikini at my pool last week, she was very pregnant, like we were worrried she was going to go into labor, but I saw no problem with the bikini. She looked better in a bikini pregnant than I look in one at my thinniest. So wear it.
Life is about living, but sometimes looking better isn't about size, it is about how you present yourself.0 -
Such a disgusting article.
People should hate themselves because they're fat? Their lives should go on hold and they should become self loathing and not enjoy the same comforts/"privileges" as thin people? "No, no sunshine for you! You can't tan, you're fat!"
And for her to claim that models and celebrity image is not an issue? Anorexia is a cause of driven personalities? And what tells these driven personalities what the "ideal image" is?
I really hate how people who hate on others hide behind such flimsy excuses to do so... "It's their health I'm worried about, really I am... what's that, pay attention to myself?? This DOES affect me, they're raising my health care costs (in a nation which does NOT provide free health care... hayyyyyy anti-Obamacare argument! Score, 2-4-1!)"
I also think she made a bet with someone to see how many times she could use the word "fatties" in that article.
ETA- only just read the posts saying this is a trashy British tabloid (where I know healthcare is provided). Good to know this is not a reputed news source.0 -
Shaming...be it for weight, smoking, drug addiction...whatever is counterproductive.
You don't tell someone that they are worthless, and then tell that they are capable of doing something exceptionally difficult.
What you do tell them:
You're worthwhile.
You can do something.
I'm willing to help you.
How shall we start?
This is called coddling and does not work. The question is are u ready to drop the excuses? Ready to work hard sweat and be a tad uncomfortable? Do u really want this?
The 2 approaches are not mutually exclusive - people can be told they are worthwhile and can do something and also be told it will be uncomfortable and they need to sweat hard at it.
I don't think shaming people ever motivates them to do anything though.
I think nearly all people learn all things better through positive reinforcement and encouragement, rather than shaming and punitive measures.
Exactly. Why does it have to be either/or? Can we not, as a society, admit that being obese is unhealthy and encourage others to lose weight WITHOUT calling them "fatties" and telling them to "cover up"?? It is very rare that shaming someone actually accomplishes anything. So why do it, other than just to make someone feel bad? Trust me, no fat person looks in the mirror and doesn't know they're fat.
The most bothersome thing about this thread are those commenting about others' appearance. It's one thing to be concerned about the health of our country, it's another to bash someone b/c they have "dimples" (btw, a lot of thin women have cellulite, should they forgo the shorts too?).
yes no one wants to see cellulite and dimples on anything fat or thin.
These things exist, keep them at home, love yourself but the rest of the world does not need to see it and we dont WANT to see it. Keep it at home where it belongs
I can't stand it when people like you who have been hardened by one thing or another issue these proclamations on what people should do and just what the world does and does not want to see. And of course it's always delivered in an unkind way preceded by an "I'm just being honest." You are being honest but only about your sh1tty world view, not the world. Just because someone isn't disgusted by an imperfect human body doesn't mean they're lying, or coddling, or living a make believe world. Your cold, crappy "reality" is just yours, thank god.0 -
I posted this in another thread, thought it might be appreciated here ...
So many things to say I don't know where to start ...
I'm 45 years old. In my adult life, the lightest I have been is about 12 1/2 to 13 stone. The heaviest I've been is nearly 19 stone, which was 18 months ago or so. I'm currently 14 stone. My weight has yo-yo'd a lot, but I'm not the classic yo-yo dieter. When my weight has been low it's been because I've been doing an adequate amount of exercise, in addition to eating well. The whole "don't starve yourself to lose weight" thing was promoted early enough in my life that I've not fallen into the classic yo-yo syndrome, I never starve myself. My weight problem has been about composition of my diet. There was a point where I was drinking beer to the tune of 8000 - 10000 calories a week and eating a lot of junk food. In the periods where I've been a healthier weight I was still eating a lot of food, but it was lean protein, salad, veggies, fruit, nuts, seeds, grains ... which is the composition of my diet now and a major reason why I've lost nearly a third of my body weight in the last 18 months. The other reason is I now do about 4000 calories worth of exercise a week.
I have been through a few cycles of diet + exercise related health boosts. The last time I did this I was just over 40, and my weight went down to just over 13 stone. I have been following pretty much the same regime as then, for longer, and I can't get below 14 stone. The longer you are overweight, the longer it takes to lose it again. I'm sure my weight will reduce further, but I'm not going to target weight loss as a goal, I'm just going to stick to my guns and let it happen. My goals are a healthy diet and fitness. Even with the extra weight I'm as fit as I have ever been, including when I was in my early 20s and I was playing a huge amount of sport.
While I don't agree with the tone of the Daily Fail article, she makes several excellent points. One is we need to stop abusing children by feeding them junk food because it sets them up for problems later in life. You cannot argue with this. She also says that we need to blame big business for promoting sugar and fat laden foods. This also is self evident truth. We live in what has been called a "toxic food environment". If you search on youtube for "the men who made us fat" you will find 3 episodes about how our diet was deliberately altered in the 70s by unscrupulous businessmen, solely for the purpose of making more profit from food. Jaques Peretti, the journalist who made this series has been criticised for some of the content, but the history of how we were manipulated into spending more on food is fascinating. My conclusion is that we ourselves are not solely responsible for rising obesity levels.
However ... we must take personal responsibility for our lives, our health, our behaviour. Unfortunately we live in a society which consistently erodes our ability to do this. We are bombarded with manipulation from the time we wake up to the time we fall asleep: Advertising, commercial music, so-called impartial scientific studies sponsored by big business to promote an agenda ... there is an endless commentary on how we should live our lives and it's becoming increasingly difficult to process the information.
But still, we must take personal responsibility for our lives! If you're fat, admit it to yourself. This should not lead to any thoughts that you are a bad person, do not deserve to be happy, are incapable of achieving wonderful things, cannot be successful etc etc. You're just fat. And that means that your health is at risk. Charity begins at home, and you have to love yourself before you can love other people or be loved. Do you love yourself enough to behave in way which will make you live a longer, more enjoyable life?
I started smoking when I was 23. I finally gave up when I was 42. It took me ten years. Ten years from the first time I said to myself, you must be a non smoker. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, and I've stood on the top of several Alpine peaks ;-) I remember one day looking myself in the eye in the mirror and saying "You're a drug addict." It was a turning point in my relationship with nicotine. Still took a while after that, but I had started on the road that's led me here.
Perhaps some fat people could do with looking themselves in the eye and saying some harsh but true words. But that's for you alone to decide. I'm not really aware of fat acceptance, the little I know of it I've read on this site in the last few days. The people who say it's about discarding the negative emotions associated with being overweight are the ones talking sense I think. A cycle of self-hatred based on your weight is only going to reduce your ability to lose the weight. But it's not OK to be overweight! For plenty of reasons already mentioned in this thread and more. Be positive about life, be happy, love and be loved, enjoy every second of your day! But lose that weight.
Fitness, weight, diet and exercise are all linked together in a complicated way. Broadly speaking weight is about diet and fitness is about exercise but they feed back to each other. More muscle mass means a higher base metabolic requirement, you will burn more calories just sitting still. A great diet means you won't feel sluggish and will do more exercise. The information is out there for free, just google and start reading.
And lose that weight!0 -
Who gets to decide what is appropriate for our size, age and body type? The issue here is that beauty is subjective.WE ALL need to dress for our size, age and body type!0 -
I don't have a problem with being overweight, I have a problem with the discomfort that comes with it. i like being active and doing stuff and I know how the weight can creep on. What I don't get is the people who are overweight and tell me, but I never eat. Who are they lying to? I have a good friend who is overweight, she moved to Arizona, she also has asthma, she came back telling us she swims 30 laps in the pool, but we had to walk 4 blocks and she was having trouble breathing. I understand different air and it was humid, but if she had been in shape it wouldn't have been that hard.
Uh... Asthma is a breathing disease. I have asthma and I'm really quite fit, but I have to use my inhaler before exercise else I get really close to exhaustion and/or an attack. Have you not asked your friend about her condition?
And as for why people would wear things that don't make them look "good" - that's not everyone's priority. Some people either keep the same clothes they used to wear once upon a time because they can't be bothered to go shopping, or it's otherwise just not their priority0 -
As bad as American tabloids can be, I'm shocked at how nasty British tabloids are. The stuff is way more offensive and over the top than its American counterparts IMO.
You should see page 3 of the Sun!0 -
yes no one wants to see cellulite and dimples on anything fat or thin.
These things exist, keep them at home, love yourself but the rest of the world does not need to see it and we dont WANT to see it. Keep it at home where it belongs
I can't stand it when people like you who have been hardened by one thing or another issue these proclamations on what people should do and just what the world does and does not want to see. And of course it's always delivered in an unkind way preceded by an "I'm just being honest." You are being honest but only about your sh1tty world view, not the world. Just because someone isn't disgusted by an imperfect human body doesn't mean they're lying, or coddling, or living a make believe world. Your cold, crappy "reality" is just yours, thank god.
Well said.0
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