Just HOW do you deal with INCONSIDERATE partners

rosebette

Well my guy would eat somewhere else if I were serving kale and tofu. That being said, I had the same issue with my husband for many years. Back in the day, folks didn't "shack up" before marriage, so I had this expectation of hubby being home for dinner every night at a reasonable time. Well, he would work late, not call, eat a big business lunch, etc. There were many dried out dinners, dinners eaten by myself in front of the tube, etc. Once we had kids, I usually fed the kids at 5 or 6 and if I knew for sure he was coming home, I would make dinner for him. Most of the time, I ate with the kids. Then, he got really into baseball -- coaching, umpiring, etc., so he wasn't coming home until after the games -- 8 or 8:30. I finally decided that I'd eat what I wanted to eat when I wanted to eat, and he could fend for himself. Sometimes there would be enough for him, sometimes not. It actually got a lot easier for me when I "let go" of the idea that I was to expect him home for dinner and make something. Now, he calls me if he's coming home at reasonable dinner hour, and I'll make something then. Otherwise, it's every person for him/herself. The same goes for my adult sons. No one cut their hands off -- they can open a refrigerator, a can, a microwave, whatever. Maybe twice a week we have a real family or couples dinner.

FrancescaWebb

:noway: :huh: Does not compute

Can you not eat dinner without him? How does this affect your dinner eating in any way?

this x 1 million

VeronicaG2B

He needs to pay for Friday night dinner with the girls.

While he eats cold kale leftovers.

No mercy. Teach 'em now.

Saucy_lil_Minx

TheresaTester

Oh, and no way in hell would he ever eat kal saute and some tofu with bean sprouts! Neither would I for that matter!:laugh:

I'm with you on this one!:noway:

sullus

I'm glad that you recognize it's your fault. Funny stuff.

Chezzie84

Oh dear.
You think he is being inconsiderate? I am still trying to work out how you came to that conclusion.
If the most inconsiderate thing he ever does is not eat your kale, tofu and beansprout concoction then you are very lucky.

I would never expect my fella to eat this if he didn't want to, same as I wouldnt eat things I don't want to.

424a57

NOTE: Men *need* cholesterol to be men.

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suziepoo1984

I am surprised that you are not upset that he is not watching what he eats. Just NOO! You deserve better!

stuart160

This is probably the question he is asking hid fiends and family about you

amberj32

And to put it bluntly.. I am $(*%& hungry. - You shouldn't be that hungry.

I have my three meals a day and that's what works for me. I have carefully, meticulously shopped so that every meal is just right. - It obviously doesn't work for you if you are $(*%& hungry. Maybe break that into 5 meals.

And I get an email today from my fiance. "sorry, I won't want the dinner you were planning on making tonight.... I ate too much at lunch". - That was considerate of him to let you know ahead of time.


REALLY? SO IT'S MY FAULT HE PIGS OUT? - Making you sound a little crazy.
I had a perfectly nice dinner of kale saute and some tofu with bean sprouts.. AND HE WON'T EAT IT. - Most people wouldn't eat that for dinner. Doesn't sound that good to me. Just eat your dinner. Why does he have to eat with you?

He told me I can just "call my friends and go for a nice dinner" and he even said he'd pay. But I don't have the calories for it. - Really? Is it his fault you don't have the calories for it? He's paying - I would go!


What do you do when people are just so rude and won't get with the program.
I thought I had a partner. - He wasn't rude. He doesn't need to "get with the program". He can still be a partner without getting with your program.

I just have somebody who likes ribs and doritos. - Nothing wrong with that. Who doesn't like ribs and doritos?

CheekyBrahette

That feel when my SO and I have a relationship built on IIFYM. :drinker:

amberj32

He needs to pay for Friday night dinner with the girls.

While he eats cold kale leftovers.

No mercy. Teach 'em now.

Really? I hope you aren't serious.
It's women like you..... SMH

organic0gf

Have you purchased his nose ring yet? That should pull him in line.

And.. if you continue eating like that, you will get in the yo-yo loop. Your body thinks it is starving so anytime you eat ANYTHING it will hoard every single calorie to fat... just wait and see.

eomuno215in541

So here's the story. I'm getting married soon blah blah. Super duper pumped. Yay. Stress eating has caused me to gain a few pounds, so I'm reigning in my diet.

And to put it bluntly.. I am $(*%& hungry.

I have my three meals a day and that's what works for me. I have carefully, meticulously shopped so that every meal is just right.

And I get an email today from my fiance. "sorry, I won't want the dinner you were planning on making tonight.... I ate too much at lunch".


REALLY? SO IT'S MY FAULT HE PIGS OUT?
I had a perfectly nice dinner of kale saute and some tofu with bean sprouts.. AND HE WON'T EAT IT.

He told me I can just "call my friends and go for a nice dinner" and he even said he'd pay. But I don't have the calories for it.


What do you do when people are just so rude and won't get with the program.
I thought I had a partner.

I just have somebody who likes ribs and doritos.

Take him up on the offer! Have a salad and TONS of drinks with your friends, stay out late, have fun. Crunch the gym tomorrow if you gotta, or make today your day off.

Then pick a fight with him tomorrow about how you worked HARD on dinner for HIM. Act 100x madder than you are. He'll never do THAT again.

srslybritt

Your relationship is obviously hopeless. Break up.

I wouldn't want sauteed bug spra--I mean, kale--either.

loriemn

Tofu and bean sprouts? Are you trying to kill him?

no,,shes trying to get HIM to call off the wedding..cause I would if someone tried to make me eat that!

chelsealfinn

What he did was actually very considerate. The only time that I get upset when my boyfriend doesn't eat what I've cooked is when I've worked hard on something (he knows in advance that I'm cooking something time consuming or complicated) and he DIDN'T tell me that he already ate a big/late lunch because then I probably would have made myself something easier. I don't get upset when he doesn't like something or even when he wants to eat something else in the fridge instead. Also, please consider that you are feeding a MAN and not a rabbit.

Biggirllittledreams

If you're expecting him to have the same dietary preferences, cravings, etc. as you.....well that's just setting yourself up for failure. If you want to make changes in YOUR life for YOU, then YOU need to do that - regardless of your surroundings and the people around you. Yes it is easier to live among people with the same goals as you, but it's not realistic, unless you're planning on living in a gym anytime soon.

When i changed up my eating habits, i was living with my 2 parents - both binge eaters and literally obese - and my younger brother, whom was on the same path. My mother tried to sabotage my efforts at getting healthy, by putting me down when i opted for healthier foods when the rest of my family would eat fast food/pizza/etc. I didn't blame her for not making me healthier food though, because i found myself accepting the reality that my parents simply didn't care about their health as much as i did - which is totally their prerogative.

If you want to actually have a smooth and stable relationship with your partner, you need to avoid being enmeshed, and assuming that you one unit, as opposed to two separate people in a relationship....each with their own likes, dislikes, and desires. That includes food. Besides, why expect him to respect your dietary choices, if you get so frustrated by his?

PS. It was very sweet that he offered to pay for your night out, and it's totally possible to eat healthy, without being obsessive over it. Go out and enjoy yourself every now and then: such a rigid dietary plan isn't realistic, or healthy (in a mental aspect, if not physical as well).

Kevalicious99

Honestly .. if that annoys you. Marriage will be a big shock.

Atrocity108

If this is the biggest issue you have with him, I would get over it. I love my GF, but I wouldnt eat that.

"And I would do annnny thing for love, but I wont eat that. OhhhhhhhNooooooooo, I wont eat that"

hj1119

He doesn't eat what you cook.........then he cooks his own food, or he doesn't eat!

yes, because treating your husband like your three year old child makes for long happy relationships..

... Because the secret alternative option to cook your own or don't eat is.....?

GuineaPiglet

Kale and tofu?

I understand you're frustrated and want him on board with this, but I think if I were in his shoes, I would totally pig out during the day to avoid Kale and tofu dinner as well.

There are plenty of healthy meals you two could enjoy together. If he's a ribs and burgers guy, asking him to switch to Kale and tofu because you want to eat healthier might be a bit overambitious. You need baby steps. Kale and tofu for dinner is like asking him to run the health marathon when he might not be on board for any of it.

You might have better luck with preparing a Kale salad with some seasoned chicken, couscous, and asparagus as a meal.

Actually, I think it's rather considerate of him to eat a bunch of unhealthy stuff outside of your presence.

Biggirllittledreams

a Kale salad with some seasoned chicken, couscous, and asparagus as a meal.

THIS SOUNDS DELICIOUS. I think my partner would keel over with happiness if he came home to that tonight! Haha.

Jruzer

OP, ignore all the haters. I know where you're coming from.

Yesterday I was hoping for a nice night in, when my wife let me know that she was planning a picnic an an outdoor concert with some old friends. So instead of our usual dinner of lean meat and veggies, we had to have sourdough with brie and apricot jam, caprese salad skewers, cold rice salad, sharp cheddar and crackers, grapes, homemade brownies, and blueberry wine.

It completely blew my budget for the day and I was way over on carbs and fat. I love my wife but she is SO unsupportive of my goals.

hj1119

"And I would do annnny thing for love, but I wont eat that. OhhhhhhhNooooooooo, I wont eat that"

FTW.

deksgrl

You let them eat steak or whatever the hell else they want.

k8blujay2

I'm guessing that like most women, you;re home doing mostly nothing but cooking. Have you considered getting off your *kitten* and bringing him lunch every day? If you're not going to put in the work to control him, this is how every single day of the rest of your life is going to be. Stop being so lazy and take some responsibility.

TeachTheGirl

I just have somebody who likes ribs and doritos.

I didn't realize we were dating! I'd at least have brought my bib...

morehealthymatt

Who is defining "nice"?

So you want to force the person you love into something that you're doing? Would you be receptive if he did the same thing? Would you want him to lay on a guilt trip?