Negative Language About Thin People

AglaeaC

I detest stereotypes. There's plenty of that crap in here.

SingingSingleTracker

I guess I just wonder if any of the MFP family has noticed this negative speech about thin women/men and how does it make you feel about lsoing weight or aspiring to be thinner?

Yes. I've heard negative speech for both fat shaming and skinny shaming for males and females.

And I've read it here on the boards (probably more skinny shaming going on these boards than fat shaming). The former has many join in and opine with their "you're too skinny" comments. The latter tends not to happen as the thread will either get pulled, or there is generally too much respect from the message board community to engage in any negative fat shaming here at MFP.

Either way, I hear the negative comments - especially from women with regard to skinny shaming - all the time at work. And I've received a few myself this year after dropping weight which, at first, I found really odd considering I have been even slimmer than I am now in my adult life (when younger). I even got it at a Younkers store from a sales clerk when I was attempting to purchase some new dress shirts in the slim cut fit with the proper neck and sleeve length. Stores usually don't have too much in stock for tall, skinny guys when it comes to pants and dress shirts as it is not a large demographic worthy of stocking the shelves for most stores. Younkers did have some excellent dress shirts in my size, I was just having difficulty locating them. The sales clerk skinny shamed me right in front of other customers when I asked about the choices and selections for my size. I don't ever think that has happened to me before like that day.

rml_16

Yep, it is jealousy.

Here is another thing: I do not know when I see another man if he is attractive to women or not (except in very extreme cases, or based on women's behavior). Women can make that determination about other women (and they are almost always right), I don't know how they do it (unless the woman is bisexual or lesbian), but you definitely know what most of us men think is sexy. I feel like if you didn't know, then you couldn't be jealous.

Well, we are constantly provided with information on how to make ourselves attractive to men. You may see a face wash commercial and not think anything of it, but to women watching it they know that they must have clear skin and a tight body to be considered attractive because that's what the model in the commercial looks like. Every magazine ad, every tv commercial, every singer, model, and actress reminds us what we need to look like to be attractive to men.

I'm not saying that men are not subjected to this, because they are. Just to a lesser extent.

What I wonder is why personal experience wouldn't override this?

I am not thrilled with my body and I want to be thinner and less jiggly and all of those things, but I get plenty of male attention and I always have. I am not trying to be more attractive to men because I don't seem to have a problem with NOT being attractive to them. It doesn't matter what these ads all say when decades of personal experience tell me I'm doing just fine. And maybe that's why I'm not hateful about other women? I don't know.

And my best friend has suffered from pretty bad acne most of her life, even now in her mid-thirties, and she's always kind of had to beat men of with a stick. They love her. And she also doesn't have that perfect, tight body going on. I mean, she's not overweight, but she isn't super slim and she isn't toned -- she doesn't fit the ideal at all. She does, however, have a ton of confidence.

So if our experiences far and wide are that men don't need this so-called perfection, why do we think we have to achieve it to attract men?

MityMax96

It goes both ways. If you're overweight, you're disgusting. If you're thin or underweight, you're disgusting. Men seem to focus on making life hell for bigger women (other women do too) and women focus on making life hell for smaller ones.

If you ladies want to hate each other go right ahead, we know better than to try to stop you.

But don't throw men under the bus. We're not making life hell for bigger women. We are celebrating them, encouraging them, laughing with them, dating them, and marrying them.

A lot of what you think of as "men" or "society" is really just those trash magazines you keep buying and supporting.

Plus, who would want to stop a cat fight....
Potential mud/jello fight????

BusyRaeNOTBusty

Yep, it is jealousy.

Here is another thing: I do not know when I see another man if he is attractive to women or not (except in very extreme cases, or based on women's behavior). Women can make that determination about other women (and they are almost always right), I don't know how they do it (unless the woman is bisexual or lesbian), but you definitely know what most of us men think is sexy. I feel like if you didn't know, then you couldn't be jealous.

Well, we are constantly provided with information on how to make ourselves attractive to men. You may see a face wash commercial and not think anything of it, but to women watching it they know that they must have clear skin and a tight body to be considered attractive because that's what the model in the commercial looks like. Every magazine ad, every tv commercial, every singer, model, and actress reminds us what we need to look like to be attractive to men.

I'm not saying that men are not subjected to this, because they are. Just to a lesser extent.

I do NOT think this when I watch a face wash commercial. First I don't spend a whole lot of time worry about what makes me attractive to "men" in general. Second, men are attracted to a LOT of things, really it's a huge range. They are just attracted to thin women with clear skin. They also are attracted to non-physical things. Third, my husband finds me attractive :shrug:

alyssamaryw

Yep, it is jealousy.

Here is another thing: I do not know when I see another man if he is attractive to women or not (except in very extreme cases, or based on women's behavior). Women can make that determination about other women (and they are almost always right), I don't know how they do it (unless the woman is bisexual or lesbian), but you definitely know what most of us men think is sexy. I feel like if you didn't know, then you couldn't be jealous.

Well, we are constantly provided with information on how to make ourselves attractive to men. You may see a face wash commercial and not think anything of it, but to women watching it they know that they must have clear skin and a tight body to be considered attractive because that's what the model in the commercial looks like. Every magazine ad, every tv commercial, every singer, model, and actress reminds us what we need to look like to be attractive to men.

I'm not saying that men are not subjected to this, because they are. Just to a lesser extent.

What I wonder is why personal experience wouldn't override this?

I am not thrilled with my body and I want to be thinner and less jiggly and all of those things, but I get plenty of male attention and I always have. I am not trying to be more attractive to men because I don't seem to have a problem with NOT being attractive to them. It doesn't matter what these ads all say when decades of personal experience tell me I'm doing just fine. And maybe that's why I'm not hateful about other women? I don't know.

And my best friend has suffered from pretty bad acne most of her life, even now in her mid-thirties, and she's always kind of had to beat men of with a stick. They love her. And she also doesn't have that perfect, tight body going on. I mean, she's not overweight, but she isn't super slim and she isn't toned -- she doesn't fit the ideal at all. She does, however, have a ton of confidence.

So if our experiences far and wide are that men don't need this so-called perfection, why do we think we have to achieve it to attract men?

I was only addressing this comment: "Women can make that determination about other women (and they are almost always right), I don't know how they do it (unless the woman is bisexual or lesbian), but you definitely know what most of us men think is sexy. "

How do we know? We are told. Early and often. That's my only point in posting my response.

JoRocka

I am so confused about what's going on in this thread.

TL;DR

cliffs?

I saw man hating? women hating? fat hating?

and something about furries.

dbmata

Also want to say that I was only talking about things that are harmless and consensual and of age. I don't know what bbc is, so I am not commenting on that.

and now you know.

JoelleAnn78

I am 100% guilty of this. "She needs to eat a bacon sandwich with mayo..." is said more times than I care to admit in my house. Never to anyone's face... but, truly, does that matter? I guess I just never really thought about how it would be rude or disrespectful, or hurtful... If someone said that to me, I'd be like "woo hoo!" and feel like they saw me as skinny.

I don't know how we got off on the ~men throwing things out car windows at fat women~ tangent, and I think the "men do this" and "women do this" trend in this thread is bull****. People can be mean, rude, disrespectful, hurtful.... people come in all shapes, sizes, races, genders.....

I guess, for myself, I will trend away from the "eat a bacon sandwich" comments and try to teach my son that people come in all shapes, sizes, races and genders. Some are mean, some are not.

BinaryPulsar

I am so confused about what's going on in this thread.

TL;DR

cliffs?

I saw man hating? women hating? fat hating?

and something about furries.

I know, lol. What just happened.

JoRocka

Also want to say that I was only talking about things that are harmless and consensual and of age. I don't know what bbc is, so I am not commenting on that.

and now you know.

You're so amazing- I love you.

I had a pretty good idea- but that.. that was just beautiful.

I know, lol. What just happened.

yeah usually I'll try to read the last page- and figure something out- then back my way back to the most recent derail and figure it out- but this was too much for me today it seems.

Just. I can't.

Now we have roosters and furries- so awesome.

dbmata

and now you know.

You're so amazing- I love you.

I had a pretty good idea- but that.. that was just beautiful.

It was just a perfect setup! :happy:

BinaryPulsar

Also want to say that I was only talking about things that are harmless and consensual and of age. I don't know what bbc is, so I am not commenting on that.

and now you know.

Oh my. Lol

Lourdesong

Well, we are constantly provided with information on how to make ourselves attractive to men. You may see a face wash commercial and not think anything of it, but to women watching it they know that they must have clear skin and a tight body to be considered attractive because that's what the model in the commercial looks like. Every magazine ad, every tv commercial, every singer, model, and actress reminds us what we need to look like to be attractive to men.

I'm not saying that men are not subjected to this, because they are. Just to a lesser extent.

Every magazine ad, tv commercial, singer, model, actress reminds us what we need to look like to sell the most units and get people in the seats.

rml_16

Yep, it is jealousy.

Here is another thing: I do not know when I see another man if he is attractive to women or not (except in very extreme cases, or based on women's behavior). Women can make that determination about other women (and they are almost always right), I don't know how they do it (unless the woman is bisexual or lesbian), but you definitely know what most of us men think is sexy. I feel like if you didn't know, then you couldn't be jealous.

Well, we are constantly provided with information on how to make ourselves attractive to men. You may see a face wash commercial and not think anything of it, but to women watching it they know that they must have clear skin and a tight body to be considered attractive because that's what the model in the commercial looks like. Every magazine ad, every tv commercial, every singer, model, and actress reminds us what we need to look like to be attractive to men.

I'm not saying that men are not subjected to this, because they are. Just to a lesser extent.

What I wonder is why personal experience wouldn't override this?

I am not thrilled with my body and I want to be thinner and less jiggly and all of those things, but I get plenty of male attention and I always have. I am not trying to be more attractive to men because I don't seem to have a problem with NOT being attractive to them. It doesn't matter what these ads all say when decades of personal experience tell me I'm doing just fine. And maybe that's why I'm not hateful about other women? I don't know.

And my best friend has suffered from pretty bad acne most of her life, even now in her mid-thirties, and she's always kind of had to beat men of with a stick. They love her. And she also doesn't have that perfect, tight body going on. I mean, she's not overweight, but she isn't super slim and she isn't toned -- she doesn't fit the ideal at all. She does, however, have a ton of confidence.

So if our experiences far and wide are that men don't need this so-called perfection, why do we think we have to achieve it to attract men?

I was only addressing this comment: "Women can make that determination about other women (and they are almost always right), I don't know how they do it (unless the woman is bisexual or lesbian), but you definitely know what most of us men think is sexy. "

How do we know? We are told. Early and often. That's my only point in posting my response.

Except that many men are perfectly happily attracted to women who do not look like those women. So why doesn't experience override this phenomenon? And, also, in that case your explanation doesn't answer the OP's question. He asked how we know what most men are attracted to and most men are attracted to women who are not that perfect ideal from commercials and magazines.

lildynarider

and now you know.

Took me a second then I was



on a side note this is my first go at inserting a GIF so if it doesn't work don't look at the woman behind the curtain :ohwell:

lildynarider

http://reactiongifs.com/?p=14940

lildynarider

well crap I give...:grumble:

_KitKat_

Fixed...

Type:
Must be lowercase and omit the spaces

You also need the URL from the gif. Click gif and copy url or right click and select copy image url

fatcity66

Yep, it is jealousy.

Here is another thing: I do not know when I see another man if he is attractive to women or not (except in very extreme cases, or based on women's behavior). Women can make that determination about other women (and they are almost always right), I don't know how they do it (unless the woman is bisexual or lesbian), but you definitely know what most of us men think is sexy. I feel like if you didn't know, then you couldn't be jealous.

It's not hard to figure out what men find attractive in a woman...

Big tits...tiny little waist....and a big round thing, in yo' face!! :smokin: