Why are people so hateful??

Aaron_K123

It's not bullying if it's a situation where an adult can walk away without real life consequences.

That is probably the most direct and succient definition of bullying I've ever seen. Well done.

Yeah, being bullied is when you are in a situation you cannot walk away from without consequence and you are bein coerced.

That does not exist here.

Good thing the authorities don't view the definition of bullying as "a situation you cannot walk away from without consequence."

You are probably thinking about the cases of Facebook bullying that resulted in a couple of suicides.

Let me be clear for you. Those were situations in which people purposefully when after people and in ways above and beyond being mean. That is not the same as calling someone stupid, refuting their arguments, etc. To draw a parallel for MFP, a person would need to constantly follow a person around the forums, message them constantly, and circumvent any ignoring/blocking that the "bullied" user put in place.

Actually, I was talking about bullying in general. Not what happens on Facebook or Twitter or whatever other social media sites people use these days.

And that's not the "bullying" I'm referring to.

Can you give a single example of an adult being "bullied"? Even a theoretical example.

A rapist who sues for custody of the child after it is born and then uses that custody to wield power over their victim.

I'd call that coercion but yeah I can see that as bullying as well. It fits the defination I agreed to as well, the victim there has no way of extricating themselves from the situation without losing their child which is unthinkable.

aedreana

If anyone asks a stupid question or, asks for advice on an ignorant idea, they leave themself wide open to ridicule. It is to be expected. And too, if anyone receives a nasty comment on their post, it follows that the poster will respond back to the comment accordingly. A lot of folks want you to tell them what they want to hear, and become indignant at the truth. People refuse to accept that their way does not apply to everyone. I guess they think because they go to the gym and work out, and therefore they can whip your *kitten*, that makes them right and you wrong (cave man mentality).

hookilau

dont worry, if you hang out here for six months, you will be exactly like all those 'hurtful' people lol

:laugh: sooo true.

Aaron_K123

I get an urge to start a thread with the request to provide your interpretation of the words:
Meanie
Bully
Hater

But you don't get to accuse anyone unless you post examples from the forums. Wonder how it would develop...

I don't think many people even know what the meaning of these words are.

Just disagreeing with someone, even if it's dangerous, and you get thrown into the lions den, for being a hater and rude.

Can I ask why people keep trying to help others here? I enjoy helping new people, but really the "you suck and are a mean hater for disagreeing with my 500 calorie a day juice cleanse" is really frustrating. Demotivating when it comes to helping new people, and I haven't been trying that long. Some of you have been here slugging through the trenches for a long time. You are articulate, thoughtful and helpful.

I'm probably being overly sensitive (obviously, I am) but what's the point in trying to help others when they backhand you for it?

A few people have directly informed me that the advice I've given them has been spot on. Others have done the contrary. As long as I feel there is even one person out there, who might find just what they needed to hear in what I had to say, I will keep posting. I admire those, who have been around much longer, because it takes a certain kind of teflon skin not to be bothered by the insulting insinuations that one is a hater, meanie, or bully.

I actually did stop helping people.

I haven't seen Jonnythan around much either

He either got fed up or collected too many strikes. It is a shame. He is a brilliant man.

I'm assuming (hoping) that Sarauk and SideSteel are just too busy right now - especially with their forum. Which was a brilliant idea and something that more of the experienced users should try.

I just had a PM exchange with Side today so he is definately still around. They have their own forum? Where?

likitisplit

It's not bullying if it's a situation where an adult can walk away without real life consequences.

That is probably the most direct and succient definition of bullying I've ever seen. Well done.

Yeah, being bullied is when you are in a situation you cannot walk away from without consequence and you are bein coerced.

That does not exist here.

Good thing the authorities don't view the definition of bullying as "a situation you cannot walk away from without consequence."

You are probably thinking about the cases of Facebook bullying that resulted in a couple of suicides.

Let me be clear for you. Those were situations in which people purposefully when after people and in ways above and beyond being mean. That is not the same as calling someone stupid, refuting their arguments, etc. To draw a parallel for MFP, a person would need to constantly follow a person around the forums, message them constantly, and circumvent any ignoring/blocking that the "bullied" user put in place.

Actually, I was talking about bullying in general. Not what happens on Facebook or Twitter or whatever other social media sites people use these days.

And that's not the "bullying" I'm referring to.

Can you give a single example of an adult being "bullied"? Even a theoretical example.

A rapist who sues for custody of the child after it is born and then uses that custody to wield power over their victim.

I'd call that coercion but yeah I can see that as bullying as well. It fits the defination I agreed to as well, the victim there has no way of extricating themselves from the situation without losing their child which is unthinkable.

Or, more simply, an abusive marriage.

I'm trying to think of an online parallel and not coming up with anything besides stalking and extortion.

likitisplit

I get an urge to start a thread with the request to provide your interpretation of the words:
Meanie
Bully
Hater

But you don't get to accuse anyone unless you post examples from the forums. Wonder how it would develop...

I don't think many people even know what the meaning of these words are.

Just disagreeing with someone, even if it's dangerous, and you get thrown into the lions den, for being a hater and rude.

Can I ask why people keep trying to help others here? I enjoy helping new people, but really the "you suck and are a mean hater for disagreeing with my 500 calorie a day juice cleanse" is really frustrating. Demotivating when it comes to helping new people, and I haven't been trying that long. Some of you have been here slugging through the trenches for a long time. You are articulate, thoughtful and helpful.

I'm probably being overly sensitive (obviously, I am) but what's the point in trying to help others when they backhand you for it?

A few people have directly informed me that the advice I've given them has been spot on. Others have done the contrary. As long as I feel there is even one person out there, who might find just what they needed to hear in what I had to say, I will keep posting. I admire those, who have been around much longer, because it takes a certain kind of teflon skin not to be bothered by the insulting insinuations that one is a hater, meanie, or bully.

I actually did stop helping people.

I haven't seen Jonnythan around much either

He either got fed up or collected too many strikes. It is a shame. He is a brilliant man.

I'm assuming (hoping) that Sarauk and SideSteel are just too busy right now - especially with their forum. Which was a brilliant idea and something that more of the experienced users should try.

I just had a PM exchange with Side today so he is definately still around. They have their own forum? Where?

Duuude:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/10118-eat-train-progress

PikaKnight

It's not bullying if it's a situation where an adult can walk away without real life consequences.

That is probably the most direct and succient definition of bullying I've ever seen. Well done.

Yeah, being bullied is when you are in a situation you cannot walk away from without consequence and you are bein coerced.

That does not exist here.

Good thing the authorities don't view the definition of bullying as "a situation you cannot walk away from without consequence."

You are probably thinking about the cases of Facebook bullying that resulted in a couple of suicides.

Let me be clear for you. Those were situations in which people purposefully when after people and in ways above and beyond being mean. That is not the same as calling someone stupid, refuting their arguments, etc. To draw a parallel for MFP, a person would need to constantly follow a person around the forums, message them constantly, and circumvent any ignoring/blocking that the "bullied" user put in place.

Actually, I was talking about bullying in general. Not what happens on Facebook or Twitter or whatever other social media sites people use these days.

And that's not the "bullying" I'm referring to.

Can you give a single example of an adult being "bullied"? Even a theoretical example.

A rapist who sues for custody of the child after it is born and then uses that custody to wield power over their victim.

I'd call that coercion but yeah I can see that as bullying as well. It fits the defination I agreed to as well, the victim there has no way of extricating themselves from the situation without losing their child which is unthinkable.

Aside from coercion, I'd have called that an abusive type relationship and possible child endangerment depending on "how" this guy is using the kid.

Aaron_K123

I get an urge to start a thread with the request to provide your interpretation of the words:
Meanie
Bully
Hater

But you don't get to accuse anyone unless you post examples from the forums. Wonder how it would develop...

I don't think many people even know what the meaning of these words are.

Just disagreeing with someone, even if it's dangerous, and you get thrown into the lions den, for being a hater and rude.

Can I ask why people keep trying to help others here? I enjoy helping new people, but really the "you suck and are a mean hater for disagreeing with my 500 calorie a day juice cleanse" is really frustrating. Demotivating when it comes to helping new people, and I haven't been trying that long. Some of you have been here slugging through the trenches for a long time. You are articulate, thoughtful and helpful.

I'm probably being overly sensitive (obviously, I am) but what's the point in trying to help others when they backhand you for it?

A few people have directly informed me that the advice I've given them has been spot on. Others have done the contrary. As long as I feel there is even one person out there, who might find just what they needed to hear in what I had to say, I will keep posting. I admire those, who have been around much longer, because it takes a certain kind of teflon skin not to be bothered by the insulting insinuations that one is a hater, meanie, or bully.

I actually did stop helping people.

That makes me sad, because you were one of the people I first appreciated here.

It was a combination of weariness of defending science against opinion based pseudoscience, it being a near thankless effort, and the site staff ignoring common sense suggestions that would have greatly benefitted new users and freed up the advice-givers to concentrate their efforts more efficiently. That and it seemed like they were sometimes directly working against established science and setting back our efforts.

I had a bit of a bittersweet experience with the Aspartame thread myself. Had to step away for a while.

AglaeaC

dont worry, if you hang out here for six months, you will be exactly like all those 'hurtful' people lol

:laugh: sooo true.

Oh god yes.

likitisplit

I get an urge to start a thread with the request to provide your interpretation of the words:
Meanie
Bully
Hater

But you don't get to accuse anyone unless you post examples from the forums. Wonder how it would develop...

I don't think many people even know what the meaning of these words are.

Just disagreeing with someone, even if it's dangerous, and you get thrown into the lions den, for being a hater and rude.

Can I ask why people keep trying to help others here? I enjoy helping new people, but really the "you suck and are a mean hater for disagreeing with my 500 calorie a day juice cleanse" is really frustrating. Demotivating when it comes to helping new people, and I haven't been trying that long. Some of you have been here slugging through the trenches for a long time. You are articulate, thoughtful and helpful.

I'm probably being overly sensitive (obviously, I am) but what's the point in trying to help others when they backhand you for it?

A few people have directly informed me that the advice I've given them has been spot on. Others have done the contrary. As long as I feel there is even one person out there, who might find just what they needed to hear in what I had to say, I will keep posting. I admire those, who have been around much longer, because it takes a certain kind of teflon skin not to be bothered by the insulting insinuations that one is a hater, meanie, or bully.

I actually did stop helping people.

That makes me sad, because you were one of the people I first appreciated here.

It was a combination of weariness of defending science against opinion based pseudoscience, it being a near thankless effort, and the site staff ignoring common sense suggestions that would have greatly benefitted new users and freed up the advice-givers to concentrate their efforts more efficiently. That and it seemed like they were sometimes directly working against established science and setting back our efforts.

I had a bit of a bittersweet experience with the Aspartame thread myself. Had to step away for a while.

That was an awesome thread and I learned a lot that I've put to good use.

Bittersweet. Heh.

wheird

I get an urge to start a thread with the request to provide your interpretation of the words:
Meanie
Bully
Hater

But you don't get to accuse anyone unless you post examples from the forums. Wonder how it would develop...

I don't think many people even know what the meaning of these words are.

Just disagreeing with someone, even if it's dangerous, and you get thrown into the lions den, for being a hater and rude.

Can I ask why people keep trying to help others here? I enjoy helping new people, but really the "you suck and are a mean hater for disagreeing with my 500 calorie a day juice cleanse" is really frustrating. Demotivating when it comes to helping new people, and I haven't been trying that long. Some of you have been here slugging through the trenches for a long time. You are articulate, thoughtful and helpful.

I'm probably being overly sensitive (obviously, I am) but what's the point in trying to help others when they backhand you for it?

A few people have directly informed me that the advice I've given them has been spot on. Others have done the contrary. As long as I feel there is even one person out there, who might find just what they needed to hear in what I had to say, I will keep posting. I admire those, who have been around much longer, because it takes a certain kind of teflon skin not to be bothered by the insulting insinuations that one is a hater, meanie, or bully.

I actually did stop helping people.

That makes me sad, because you were one of the people I first appreciated here.

It was a combination of weariness of defending science against opinion based pseudoscience, it being a near thankless effort, and the site staff ignoring common sense suggestions that would have greatly benefitted new users and freed up the advice-givers to concentrate their efforts more efficiently. That and it seemed like they were sometimes directly working against established science and setting back our efforts.

I had a bit of a bittersweet experience with the Aspartame thread myself. Had to step away for a while.

It was one of the best posts I have seen on MFP. I learned a lot and appreciated it.

likitisplit

It's not bullying if it's a situation where an adult can walk away without real life consequences.

That is probably the most direct and succient definition of bullying I've ever seen. Well done.

Yeah, being bullied is when you are in a situation you cannot walk away from without consequence and you are bein coerced.

That does not exist here.

Good thing the authorities don't view the definition of bullying as "a situation you cannot walk away from without consequence."

You are probably thinking about the cases of Facebook bullying that resulted in a couple of suicides.

Let me be clear for you. Those were situations in which people purposefully when after people and in ways above and beyond being mean. That is not the same as calling someone stupid, refuting their arguments, etc. To draw a parallel for MFP, a person would need to constantly follow a person around the forums, message them constantly, and circumvent any ignoring/blocking that the "bullied" user put in place.

Actually, I was talking about bullying in general. Not what happens on Facebook or Twitter or whatever other social media sites people use these days.

And that's not the "bullying" I'm referring to.

Can you give a single example of an adult being "bullied"? Even a theoretical example.

A rapist who sues for custody of the child after it is born and then uses that custody to wield power over their victim.

I'd call that coercion but yeah I can see that as bullying as well. It fits the defination I agreed to as well, the victim there has no way of extricating themselves from the situation without losing their child which is unthinkable.

Aside from coercion, I'd have called that an abusive type relationship and possible child endangerment depending on "how" this guy is using the kid.

No. By definition, bullying is about school-age children. I retract my example:

http://www.stopbullying.gov/what-is-bullying/related-topics/index.html

QueenBishOTUniverse

I've had people jump on an idea I posted in a thread and rip it apart and gif post and "jump" on me.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1297097-a-simple-thought-on-how-to-set-a-calorie-goal

So what. They didn't like the idea I posted. I explained it, they explained themselves, I got their point and decided to rephrase, we had a good laugh at it and that was that. I really don't see that as "bullying" or "hate"

If I had responded defensively I'm sure I would have gotten pilled on more...again though, that isn't bullying...that is people responding to your responses.

If you are an adult and you are on an internet forum and you claim to have been bullied I have to seriously question how overly sensitive you are.

Looks like you've got some big girl panties there.

A good number of people currently on my friends list got there by destroying one of my posts in an articulate manner.

Hey! I totally agreed with you and that thread and didn't get a friend request!

DYELB

Anyone else come in line with some down right hostile threads going on here.....This is supposed to be a place of help and support, not ripping each other to shreds on who is right and wrong. Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will for someone else and vice versa. Am I alone on this? :grumble:

You're both wrong and alone.

FatFreeFrolicking

It's not bullying if it's a situation where an adult can walk away without real life consequences.

That is probably the most direct and succient definition of bullying I've ever seen. Well done.

Yeah, being bullied is when you are in a situation you cannot walk away from without consequence and you are bein coerced.

That does not exist here.

Good thing the authorities don't view the definition of bullying as "a situation you cannot walk away from without consequence."

According to this site, adults can't be the victim of cyberbullying at all. They can be guilty of cyberharrassment, but only if they "repeatedly harass or threaten someone online."

https://www.wiredsafety.org/subjects/cyberbullying.php

I wouldn't consider any of the exchanges that have been discussed in this thread to fall under that guideline.

Can people be jerks? Sure. Are people on this website regularly "repeatedly harassing and threatening" other members? Not in my opinion. I'm not going to say it's never happened. But it certainly isn't common. And like Pikaknight said, there are moderators here who deal with that sort of thing.

Adults CAN be a victim of cyberbullying.

http://www.nsf.gov/discoveries/disc_summ.jsp?cntn_id=122271.

FatFreeFrolicking

It's not bullying if it's a situation where an adult can walk away without real life consequences.

That is probably the most direct and succient definition of bullying I've ever seen. Well done.

Yeah, being bullied is when you are in a situation you cannot walk away from without consequence and you are bein coerced.

That does not exist here.

Good thing the authorities don't view the definition of bullying as "a situation you cannot walk away from without consequence."

You are probably thinking about the cases of Facebook bullying that resulted in a couple of suicides.

Let me be clear for you. Those were situations in which people purposefully when after people and in ways above and beyond being mean. That is not the same as calling someone stupid, refuting their arguments, etc. To draw a parallel for MFP, a person would need to constantly follow a person around the forums, message them constantly, and circumvent any ignoring/blocking that the "bullied" user put in place.

Actually, I was talking about bullying in general. Not what happens on Facebook or Twitter or whatever other social media sites people use these days.

And that's not the "bullying" I'm referring to.

Then by all means, quit being vague and spit it out so it can be addressed.

I totally agree with wheird here. Vague talk is bullsh1t if you ask me. Just let it all out or make it water under the bridge; passive-aggressive blargh is so not my favourite way of communicating.

You're not entitled to knowing everything. You don't need to know. You weren't in the thread or a recipient of the personal messages. Therefore, you didn't experience it and it doesn't apply to or concern you.

lessismoreohio

My observation is that many people are hurting and looking for an easy answer to what ever it is that is causing their pain. There are no easy answers and people lash out. It helps to remember the following:

“Whatever happens around you, don't take it personally... Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.”
― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom

inertiastrength

People are hateful because they're insecure. I kid around a lot but some people are just plain rude lol The ruder they are chances are good they have an inferiority complex. Sometimes people mistake good but different information as rudeness but that's a whole other thread.

DYELB

It's not bullying if it's a situation where an adult can walk away without real life consequences.

That is probably the most direct and succient definition of bullying I've ever seen. Well done.

Yeah, being bullied is when you are in a situation you cannot walk away from without consequence and you are bein coerced.

That does not exist here.

Good thing the authorities don't view the definition of bullying as "a situation you cannot walk away from without consequence."

According to this site, adults can't be the victim of cyberbullying at all. They can be guilty of cyberharrassment, but only if they "repeatedly harass or threaten someone online."

https://www.wiredsafety.org/subjects/cyberbullying.php

I wouldn't consider any of the exchanges that have been discussed in this thread to fall under that guideline.

Can people be jerks? Sure. Are people on this website regularly "repeatedly harassing and threatening" other members? Not in my opinion. I'm not going to say it's never happened. But it certainly isn't common. And like Pikaknight said, there are moderators here who deal with that sort of thing.

Adults CAN be a victim of cyberbullying.

http://www.overcomebullying.org/cyberbullying.html

That website is hilarious!

Wait...it's serious?

Oh...ummmm...ok...

likitisplit

It's not bullying if it's a situation where an adult can walk away without real life consequences.

That is probably the most direct and succient definition of bullying I've ever seen. Well done.

Yeah, being bullied is when you are in a situation you cannot walk away from without consequence and you are bein coerced.

That does not exist here.

Good thing the authorities don't view the definition of bullying as "a situation you cannot walk away from without consequence."

You are probably thinking about the cases of Facebook bullying that resulted in a couple of suicides.

Let me be clear for you. Those were situations in which people purposefully when after people and in ways above and beyond being mean. That is not the same as calling someone stupid, refuting their arguments, etc. To draw a parallel for MFP, a person would need to constantly follow a person around the forums, message them constantly, and circumvent any ignoring/blocking that the "bullied" user put in place.

Actually, I was talking about bullying in general. Not what happens on Facebook or Twitter or whatever other social media sites people use these days.

And that's not the "bullying" I'm referring to.

Then by all means, quit being vague and spit it out so it can be addressed.

I totally agree with wheird here. Vague talk is bullsh1t if you ask me. Just let it all out or make it water under the bridge; passive-aggressive blargh is so not my favourite way of communicating.

You're not entitled to knowing everything. You don't need to know. You weren't in the thread or a recipient of the personal messages. Therefore, you didn't experience it and it doesn't apply to or concern you.

Then you shouldn't be bringing it up.

I don't agree with what I understand to have happened and I would have taken steps to have made it stop if I'd been a witness, but this is unnecessary drama.