Why are people so hateful??

Stiang

Has anyone been "stalked" on the forums before? And if so, how do they stop the person from creating a new account and starting all over again.

Yurippe

They are a FANTASTIC place to suggest that post-partum depression is the primary cause of SIDS.

It's the most horrific inappropriate things that make me laugh the most. Hooray for shock value.

dbmata

Major failure on the mods behalf.

Mods are volunteers. You can't expect excellence from an all volunteer force.

AglaeaC

I get an urge to start a thread with the request to provide your interpretation of the words:
Meanie
Bully
Hater

But you don't get to accuse anyone unless you post examples from the forums. Wonder how it would develop...

I don't think many people even know what the meaning of these words are.

Just disagreeing with someone, even if it's dangerous, and you get thrown into the lions den, for being a hater and rude.

Can I ask why people keep trying to help others here? I enjoy helping new people, but really the "you suck and are a mean hater for disagreeing with my 500 calorie a day juice cleanse" is really frustrating. Demotivating when it comes to helping new people, and I haven't been trying that long. Some of you have been here slugging through the trenches for a long time. You are articulate, thoughtful and helpful.

I'm probably being overly sensitive (obviously, I am) but what's the point in trying to help others when they backhand you for it?

A few people have directly informed me that the advice I've given them has been spot on. Others have done the contrary. As long as I feel there is even one person out there, who might find just what they needed to hear in what I had to say, I will keep posting. I admire those, who have been around much longer, because it takes a certain kind of teflon skin not to be bothered by the insulting insinuations that one is a hater, meanie, or bully.

wheird

j
Has anyone been "stalked" on the forums before? And if so, how do they stop the person from creating a new account and starting all over again.

Yes. And they cannot stop them completely.

Stiang

Well, that's comforting. Good thing I have a ninja cat at home to keep me sane.

likitisplit

I get an urge to start a thread with the request to provide your interpretation of the words:
Meanie
Bully
Hater

But you don't get to accuse anyone unless you post examples from the forums. Wonder how it would develop...

I don't think many people even know what the meaning of these words are.

Just disagreeing with someone, even if it's dangerous, and you get thrown into the lions den, for being a hater and rude.

Can I ask why people keep trying to help others here? I enjoy helping new people, but really the "you suck and are a mean hater for disagreeing with my 500 calorie a day juice cleanse" is really frustrating. Demotivating when it comes to helping new people, and I haven't been trying that long. Some of you have been here slugging through the trenches for a long time. You are articulate, thoughtful and helpful.

I'm probably being overly sensitive (obviously, I am) but what's the point in trying to help others when they backhand you for it?

The random PM you get that says, Hey - you made it click for me.

The trick is: don't emotionally engage. Provide information, not advice. To use your example: "Here are the three problems with eating 500 calories." Leave it there. The person either stops doing what they are doing, or continues. Hopefully, your info will ring a bell when they get a bit more experience.

fitandfortyish

Yeah pinterest is pretty awesome.

I get lost in there looking for inspiration or sewing tutorials. It's like the internet- but worse!!! and better- because you can keep track- great for artsies peoples!!!

and apparently now rings. (fml)

Not to derail here...but I must confess my girl crush on you as you are one of my favorite posters. What blows my mind is the sport cycling, kick *kitten* belly dancing lifter looking for sewing tips on pintrest

Your awesomeness amazes me. :drinker:

AglaeaC

It's not bullying if it's a situation where an adult can walk away without real life consequences.

That is probably the most direct and succient definition of bullying I've ever seen. Well done.

Yeah, being bullied is when you are in a situation you cannot walk away from without consequence and you are bein coerced.

That does not exist here.

Good thing the authorities don't view the definition of bullying as "a situation you cannot walk away from without consequence."

You are probably thinking about the cases of Facebook bullying that resulted in a couple of suicides.

Let me be clear for you. Those were situations in which people purposefully when after people and in ways above and beyond being mean. That is not the same as calling someone stupid, refuting their arguments, etc. To draw a parallel for MFP, a person would need to constantly follow a person around the forums, message them constantly, and circumvent any ignoring/blocking that the "bullied" user put in place.

Actually, I was talking about bullying in general. Not what happens on Facebook or Twitter or whatever other social media sites people use these days.

And that's not the "bullying" I'm referring to.

Then by all means, quit being vague and spit it out so it can be addressed.

I totally agree with wheird here. Vague talk is bullsh1t if you ask me. Just let it all out or make it water under the bridge; passive-aggressive blargh is so not my favourite way of communicating.

dbmata

Someone asked what a hater was.

wheird

I get an urge to start a thread with the request to provide your interpretation of the words:
Meanie
Bully
Hater

But you don't get to accuse anyone unless you post examples from the forums. Wonder how it would develop...

I don't think many people even know what the meaning of these words are.

Just disagreeing with someone, even if it's dangerous, and you get thrown into the lions den, for being a hater and rude.

Can I ask why people keep trying to help others here? I enjoy helping new people, but really the "you suck and are a mean hater for disagreeing with my 500 calorie a day juice cleanse" is really frustrating. Demotivating when it comes to helping new people, and I haven't been trying that long. Some of you have been here slugging through the trenches for a long time. You are articulate, thoughtful and helpful.

I'm probably being overly sensitive (obviously, I am) but what's the point in trying to help others when they backhand you for it?

A few people have directly informed me that the advice I've given them has been spot on. Others have done the contrary. As long as I feel there is even one person out there, who might find just what they needed to hear in what I had to say, I will keep posting. I admire those, who have been around much longer, because it takes a certain kind of teflon skin not to be bothered by the insulting insinuations that one is a hater, meanie, or bully.

I actually did stop helping people.

Aaron_K123

People are vicious, but everyone has right to their own opinions. Unfortunately some of them have diarrhea of the mouth (fingers for typing) and can't control themselves. And you are absolutely right; MFP is a place for support and encouragement. Some people don"t get that

There is a difference between a desire for something to be true and something being designed for that purpose.

I desire that the world be a place for support and encouragement but that doesn't mean it was designed to be so. Same goes for MFP.

Frankly all MFP is is a rather robust free online tool for tracking calories merged to a blank wall on which you can write your thoughts. Anything else is just you or anyone else projecting their wishes for what they want it to be.

It is not MFPs purpose to support you anymore than it is my personal responsibility to support you. It may be a positive thing when it happens but that is all.

Serah87

Can I ask why people keep trying to help others here?

I don't know. Sometimes I am at point of just letting people do what they want and let them figure it out. It's taken me several times to lose weight and I finally found something that works and all because of the "meanies". :ohwell:

dbmata

They are a FANTASTIC place to suggest that post-partum depression is the primary cause of SIDS.

It's the most horrific inappropriate things that make me laugh the most. Hooray for shock value.

Yeah, that one is pretty awesome.

likitisplit

It's not bullying if it's a situation where an adult can walk away without real life consequences.

That is probably the most direct and succient definition of bullying I've ever seen. Well done.

Yeah, being bullied is when you are in a situation you cannot walk away from without consequence and you are bein coerced.

That does not exist here.

Good thing the authorities don't view the definition of bullying as "a situation you cannot walk away from without consequence."

You are probably thinking about the cases of Facebook bullying that resulted in a couple of suicides.

Let me be clear for you. Those were situations in which people purposefully when after people and in ways above and beyond being mean. That is not the same as calling someone stupid, refuting their arguments, etc. To draw a parallel for MFP, a person would need to constantly follow a person around the forums, message them constantly, and circumvent any ignoring/blocking that the "bullied" user put in place.

Actually, I was talking about bullying in general. Not what happens on Facebook or Twitter or whatever other social media sites people use these days.

And that's not the "bullying" I'm referring to.

Ok. I've provided two examples of official definitions. Can you please describe what the "authorities" think is bullying and apply it to what happens on MFP?

nutmegoreo

I get an urge to start a thread with the request to provide your interpretation of the words:
Meanie
Bully
Hater

But you don't get to accuse anyone unless you post examples from the forums. Wonder how it would develop...

I don't think many people even know what the meaning of these words are.

Just disagreeing with someone, even if it's dangerous, and you get thrown into the lions den, for being a hater and rude.

Can I ask why people keep trying to help others here? I enjoy helping new people, but really the "you suck and are a mean hater for disagreeing with my 500 calorie a day juice cleanse" is really frustrating. Demotivating when it comes to helping new people, and I haven't been trying that long. Some of you have been here slugging through the trenches for a long time. You are articulate, thoughtful and helpful.

I'm probably being overly sensitive (obviously, I am) but what's the point in trying to help others when they backhand you for it?

A few people have directly informed me that the advice I've given them has been spot on. Others have done the contrary. As long as I feel there is even one person out there, who might find just what they needed to hear in what I had to say, I will keep posting. I admire those, who have been around much longer, because it takes a certain kind of teflon skin not to be bothered by the insulting insinuations that one is a hater, meanie, or bully.

Thank-you. I agree, the appreciative people are worth it. I have so much respect for those who find it in them to stick around and help out. I have learned so much from them. Plus I have learned to love me some kitteh gifs.

dbmata

heh.

"Nut me, Goreo."

It's like a taunt against a boss character in Mortal Kombat 18.

nutmegoreo

I get an urge to start a thread with the request to provide your interpretation of the words:
Meanie
Bully
Hater

But you don't get to accuse anyone unless you post examples from the forums. Wonder how it would develop...

I don't think many people even know what the meaning of these words are.

Just disagreeing with someone, even if it's dangerous, and you get thrown into the lions den, for being a hater and rude.

Can I ask why people keep trying to help others here? I enjoy helping new people, but really the "you suck and are a mean hater for disagreeing with my 500 calorie a day juice cleanse" is really frustrating. Demotivating when it comes to helping new people, and I haven't been trying that long. Some of you have been here slugging through the trenches for a long time. You are articulate, thoughtful and helpful.

I'm probably being overly sensitive (obviously, I am) but what's the point in trying to help others when they backhand you for it?

The random PM you get that says, Hey - you made it click for me.

The trick is: don't emotionally engage. Provide information, not advice. To use your example: "Here are the three problems with eating 500 calories." Leave it there. The person either stops doing what they are doing, or continues. Hopefully, your info will ring a bell when they get a bit more experience.

Thank-you for this.

likitisplit

Can I ask why people keep trying to help others here?

I don't know. Sometimes I am at point of just letting people do what they want and let them figure it out. It's taken me several times to lose weight and I finally found something that works and all because of the "meanies". :ohwell:

One mistake people make is that they provide advice on a thread and want the person to stop arguing and accept the advice right then.

Even when it finally clicks, it usually takes a minimum of three days. A lot of times it'll take longer.

Just drop a seed. If it's the right seed for that person, it'll grow without any more help.