Can your SO access your phone?

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Replies

  • George_Baileys_Ghost
    George_Baileys_Ghost Posts: 1,524 Member
    Yup. at first I be all like,
    tumblr_lz7vv9CsWB1r5r8duo1_500.gif

    and then she be all like,
    thatssotrue_10738_1336942898.gif

    and then I be all like,
    sole.gif

    and then I give it to her and she sees that the only noodz I been gettin is from DerpDiggler and she don't even care because then we both be all like.
    friday-damn-gif.gif
  • JeriAnne84
    JeriAnne84 Posts: 543 Member
    I lock my phone, but my boyfriend knows the code. He uses my phone a lot to look up numbers for stuff on the internet (he doesn't have a smart phone). He also likes to post random Facebook statuses on my profile like "I love pork fritters" or something like that. But I have nothing to hide. He knows he can trust me.

    He doesn't have a lock on his phone and I can look at it whenever, but I don't. I know I can trust him. I wouldn't even snoop just for s&g's because then what if I found something that ticked me off? You can't confront them without telling you were snooping.

    My ex never let me look at his phone and always had it on him. He also had 3 other women he was sleeping with.
  • Guns_N_Buns
    Guns_N_Buns Posts: 1,899 Member
    He has his print saved on my phone (finger scanner) and knows the pattern code. He never goes through it and I have nothing to hide. He appreciates seeing all the nudes I get from MFP.
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
    Hell no! It's none of his business.

    which part?

    ETA: mine can. she doesn't have a FB, so sometimes she uses my phone to creep our mutual friends. she rarely needs it for any other reason, but if she ever does, its all hers.
  • nyboer
    nyboer Posts: 346 Member
    Yup. I have to lock my phone for work but he knows the code. I have acess to his too. We don't check up on each other but if his phone is closer and I need to Google something his gets used and vice versa. No big gig.
  • jcast92
    jcast92 Posts: 144 Member
    I don't lock my phone. I guess if my SO wanted to see it, sure. But it's been almost a year and he's never asked. As for me, I don't care about what's on his phone either. Sure, sometimes I glance when he's spending a long time on a text, but I usually just try to catch the name, not the content of the conversation.

    And that's just for my own peace of mind. I trust him, I've just had a bad experience before so it's reassuring to me.
  • hmrambling
    hmrambling Posts: 321 Member
    In the past I have handed my phone over to my exes for them to use my phone and was confident that there was nothing in there that would be a problem.. but no, my SO does not have access to my phone to go through it and snoop. I call it 'snoopervising'. If you want to know something, ask. If you have to snoop, I really feel like you don't trust me.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    No. I think it is super weird to have access to the phone of a SO. No one needs to see my personal conversations with friends and family. I guess it's the only child syndrome coming out in me? If they need to use it for some specific or may e for the day or something, I am ok with that. However, just randomly snooping through it would infuriate me. Very disrespectful.

    I think it depends on how the other person feels about it.

    I snoop through my bf's phone and he snoops through mine. Neither of us expects to find anything so we're not doing it because we're suspicious of the other person (believe me, we've been together 7 years, there is a mountain of trust between us). It's just out of curiosity. We're separated during the work day so I'm just interested in how his day went, who he's been chatting with, etc. It's never in a malicious fashion.

    the word "snoop" has a different connotation than what you are expressing as some sort of mild curiosity.
  • nyboer
    nyboer Posts: 346 Member
    Oh this is going to be amazing

    Why do you say that? It's just a simple question.

    It's a simple question that is going to open up a can of insecurity and crazy

    ^^ Yup.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    We have access to each others everything (email, Facebook, phone, etc), but neither of us use that access. It wasn't a sacred exchanging of info as a declaration of our love, it's just that all passwords are written down on the same (hidden) piece of paper.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    My husband knows my security code because he set up my phone - he'd never look in my phone without expressed permission. I could change it and he'd never know and never care. I don't think his phone has a code, but he could add one and I wouldn't know and never care.

    It's about respecting boundaries.

    Is issue isn't that the wife won't let the husband look in her phone -- it's the the husband doesn't believe his wife is being honest. She very well might be untrustworthy. He husband has a choice: believe her or not. If he can't, separate. If he can, let it go, But the second you start infringing upon your partners' private space because of your feelings -- YOU have the issue. I am not saying he needs to put up with her cheating, but he needs to lose the expectation that she needs to prove herself to him. He either believes her or he doesn't. If he doesn't - he needs to move on, no cell phone checks required.
  • djprice_69
    djprice_69 Posts: 115 Member
    Wife of nearly six years has full access to my phone, and I to hers. No reason not to, so there are no worries.
  • LiveLoveLift67
    LiveLoveLift67 Posts: 895 Member
    I have no idea how to lock my phone and no desire to do so. Im not perfect and there are probably things on there he wouldnt like or approve of but, he can look if he wants. It is what it is. I dont lie to him.....he was looking thru my computer the other day and i told him if he see's pics of naked guys dont delete them lol.

    Besides most of the time he is the one who has to fix my phone when i cant figure out how i screwed something up on it lol. Hiding just makes things worse.
  • nyboer
    nyboer Posts: 346 Member
    No way. It's MY phone. If she feels the need to check up on me or my email or whatever, then she can hit the bricks.

    I have nothing to hide but I'm not giving up my right to privacy.

    Crikey.
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  • Keepcalmanddontblink
    Keepcalmanddontblink Posts: 718 Member
    No. I think it is super weird to have access to the phone of a SO. No one needs to see my personal conversations with friends and family. I guess it's the only child syndrome coming out in me? If they need to use it for some specific or may e for the day or something, I am ok with that. However, just randomly snooping through it would infuriate me. Very disrespectful.

    I think it depends on how the other person feels about it.

    I snoop through my bf's phone and he snoops through mine. Neither of us expects to find anything so we're not doing it because we're suspicious of the other person (believe me, we've been together 7 years, there is a mountain of trust between us). It's just out of curiosity. We're separated during the work day so I'm just interested in how his day went, who he's been chatting with, etc. It's never in a malicious fashion.
    Same here. I am just nosy by nature and he is too, but not as much as I am. lol We've considered locking our phones, but I have forgotten my code in the past and had several anxious moments until I remembered my access code. I can lock and wipe the phone from my computer if it gets lost or stolen, and I don't do anything like banking on it.
  • heidispideymfp
    heidispideymfp Posts: 179 Member
    My husband and I have the same icloud passwords . And my email password is the same. My phone doesn't have a lock on it and neither does his. He's welcome to look through my phone whenever, but he doesn't, the same with me. I only look at his emails when he tells me to ( he's very lazy about forwarding mails and works in Angola so sometimes it's just the easier option).

    This is not the case with all couples though.
  • christran206
    christran206 Posts: 4 Member
    Depends on the kind of access and the reason.

    My GF often uses my phone to play games and use the apps to control the computers in our apartment. Everything I have is locked behind codes, passwords, encryption keys, etc due to the company I work for. Everyone on this website has used products and software from the company I work for.

    I often do the driving so she will have access to my phone to let me know who texted me or answer phone calls. It's all a matter of trust.

    However, if I ever found out that she was using my phone or other electronics to snoop, that would be the end of it.
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
    I think it depends on how the other person feels about it.

    I snoop through my bf's phone and he snoops through mine. Neither of us expects to find anything so we're not doing it because we're suspicious of the other person (believe me, we've been together 7 years, there is a mountain of trust between us). It's just out of curiosity. We're separated during the work day so I'm just interested in how his day went, who he's been chatting with, etc. It's never in a malicious fashion.

    i always wanna know how my wife's day went too.


    so i ask her, and then we have a conversation about our days.


    weird.
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  • 365andstillalive
    365andstillalive Posts: 663 Member
    Both my boyfriend and I lock our phones, and we're both semi-aware of each others pass codes; we're both awful for forgetting what order they go in, but we know the numbers. We don't spend a lot of time on each others phones, and I've never snooped through his texts nor he through mine.

    BUT...
    I did go through his facebook messages once, about a year ago. I had a bad gut feeling and my boyfriend was acting really shadily about some of the women in his life. I looked at it as having two options: I could assume he was cheating and end it since I was feeling distrustful of him and knew he wasn't giving me whole truths, or I could look and see what the messages were and make a decision on if it was something I thought we could get through. Even if I'd found nothing, I planned on telling him that I'd done it either way and dealing with the fallout of that. I found a lot, however. Messages with about 7 different women, the majority of whom he'd previously slept with; flirting, asking for nude pictures, bad mouthing me, etc.

    I'm glad I checked. And while I'm sure I'll get flack from people here for doing that, it was the best decision for my relationship. It's now a year later and we're a lot more open with each other, he tells me when his ex's start getting flirty, and seeing how hurt I was by what happened last time, he tells me about shutting them down. He's offered to show me conversations since of him doing so, but I've always turned him down. We re-built that trust that was lost on both ends: him, by almost cheating, and me by snooping. That doesn't mean that I don't get that random sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when he mentions the specific one he went the farthest with that happens to work with him, but it does mean that I trust him enough right now not to look. And I think that if I ever got to the point where I felt the way I did a year ago, that he was being shady and I wasn't getting full truths, I'd just end the relationship, because I likely already know what I'd find.
  • Faye_Anderson
    Faye_Anderson Posts: 1,495 Member
    i always wanna know how my wife's day went too.


    so i ask her, and then we have a conversation about our days.


    weird.

    ^^I think a few more people should try this
  • emily889
    emily889 Posts: 296 Member
    My husband locked his phone, kept it on him while sleeping/showering/walkinganywhereawayfrommeforanyamountoftime. He forgot once, and I checked his phone to see if he had some pictures I had wanted upload to Facebook. Nope, entire folders of nudes and calls from his ex girlfriend. We are now going through a divorce.

    Exactly how my ex was...just he didn't talk to his ex gf, it was his best friends wife :angry:
  • Krizzle4Rizzle
    Krizzle4Rizzle Posts: 2,704 Member
    If we both wanted to I suppose we could. Neither of us has passwords. Although, I have been thinking about putting a password on it in case I lose it or for nosy people at work.
  • nyboer
    nyboer Posts: 346 Member
    Yup. at first I be all like,
    tumblr_lz7vv9CsWB1r5r8duo1_500.gif

    and then she be all like,
    thatssotrue_10738_1336942898.gif

    and then I be all like,
    sole.gif

    and then I give it to her and she sees that the only noodz I been gettin is from DerpDiggler and she don't even care because then we both be all like.
    friday-damn-gif.gif

    WINNER!
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    My husband knows my security code because he set up my phone - he'd never look in my phone without expressed permission. I could change it and he'd never know and never care. I don't think his phone has a code, but he could add one and I wouldn't know and never care.

    It's about respecting boundaries.

    Is issue isn't that the wife won't let the husband look in her phone -- it's the the husband doesn't believe his wife is being honest. She very well might be untrustworthy. He husband has a choice: believe her or not. If he can't, separate. If he can, let it go, But the second you start infringing upon your partners' private space because of your feelings -- YOU have the issue. I am not saying he needs to put up with her cheating, but he needs to lose the expectation that she needs to prove herself to him. He either believes her or he doesn't. If he doesn't - he needs to move on, no cell phone checks required.

    This is how it is for us, also.

    Plus my husband respects the privacy of my friends, so would not read their messages. And he knows I have male friends, and respects the privacy of our conversations.

    We would not disrespect eachother's privacy. And we have no internet history to hide, we share that openly in a number of ways.
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  • KseRz
    KseRz Posts: 980 Member
    So, if you lock your phone, does your SO have access to it? If not...why?

    Sure. Anyone can access my phone. Just hold on a second...

    Threw%2Bcell%2Bphone%2Bon%2Bthe%2Bground.gif
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,861 Member
    A friend posed this question on Facebook once because he thought it was bad that his wife locked him out of it. I noted that yes, it was bad that she did that but also bad that he wanted to go looking through it. They're divorced now.
  • MeganAnne89
    MeganAnne89 Posts: 271 Member
    I think it depends on how the other person feels about it.

    I snoop through my bf's phone and he snoops through mine. Neither of us expects to find anything so we're not doing it because we're suspicious of the other person (believe me, we've been together 7 years, there is a mountain of trust between us). It's just out of curiosity. We're separated during the work day so I'm just interested in how his day went, who he's been chatting with, etc. It's never in a malicious fashion.

    i always wanna know how my wife's day went too.


    so i ask her, and then we have a conversation about our days.


    weird.

    I do still ask him. It's not like we don't communicate normally - It's just that we've always shared everything, so looking at each other's phones isn't strange to us. We're extremely open with one another so I don't care if he looks at my phone and he doesn't care if he looks at mine.

    Hell, I used to get him to check my Facebook for me and he would do the same if I were the one going on the computer. So I guess that's where it really started from. And if I get a text message and he's closer to my phone, I'll ask him to check it and respond for me.

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