Can your SO access your phone?

MeganAnne89

We're always on each others phone. We both know that the other has nothing to hide. That the awesomeness of being a relationship with someone who values the relationship.

Thank you.

melissafaith24

I dont keep my phone locked nor does he. We occasionally pick up each others phones if it rings or dings if the other isnt where we can catch it. I have all his passwords (i didnt ask, he volunteered) and he has mine (again, volunteered). The only thing I keep from him is my # on the scale lol...and hes horrible at guestimating my weight. Not sure if he truly believes I weigh around 145-150 or hes trying to be nice but he continually guesses since I wont tell.

After being married (and divorced of course) to someone who habitually kept their phones and computers locked and scrambled to minimize or flip screens when i walked even 5 foot from him, it is refreshing to have this kind of trust. (and yes the ex had numerous affairs and shennanigans).

Rogiefreida

We've always kept our phones unlocked, same with computers and ipad. Nothing to hide here. It would be a huge red flag if either one of us suddenly started locking our phones, etc.

I think I've snooped through his phone once or twice in over 7 years. He has nothing to hide, neither do I. I have no idea how many times he's gone through my phone, nor do I care.

heidispideymfp

Phone, computer, internet history, facebook, email, whatever...My husband can access any of it if he wants. We each have our own computers but we use each others if it's more convenient and he could easily access any of my accounts/browsing history or whatever. We lock our phones to prevent butt dialing but we both use the same code to unlock and even answer each other's phones if it happens to be next to us. I've been in his email account and he's been in mine (looking for information we needed, not to check for cheating)

The only thing he still won't do is go in my purse. Even if I ask him to get something out of it he will just bring the whole thing to me. He simply REFUSES to put his hand in there like if he does it will get bit off or something.

I've been with my DH for 20 years and he STILL refuses to go through my purse. He says he's scared it may look like the interior of my car :noway:

arnostbilej

It's not about having something to hide, it's about privacy. Being in a relationship doesn't automatically mean that I give up my right to privacy and allow my SO to sift through every aspect of my life. That smacks of disrespect and co-dependency, both of which are no bueno for a healthy relationship.

Joy_Ryder

Chezzie84

I don't lock my phone and neither does my partner.
Neither of us look at each others phone on the sly and we have no inclin to either.
We trust each other 100% and I know this because if the our phone rings while one of us is driving, the other will answer it.

If there is no trust there is no relationship. But sometimes, it is not as sinister as it seems.
I once had a friend who accused her boyfriend of cheating bacause he locked his phone and was secretive. I told her not to worry but she didn't listen. It all came to a head when he split up with him, turns out he was planning a suprise marriage proposal!!

MeganAnne89

It's Gene!

I'd let him snoop through my phone any day

FeraFilia

My husband knows the unlock code for my phone, which is only there because I've got a bad habit of pocket dialing.

His phone isn't locked.

Neither one of us asks to see the others phone to "check up" on them for any reason. The only time we use each others phone is if one of ours is dead and we need to make a phone call or if one of us is driving, the other will answer the incoming calls or texts.

The only time I have anything to hide from him is when I'm planning a surprise for him and texting with his family.

I_need_moar_musclez

It's not about having something to hide, it's about privacy. Being in a relationship doesn't automatically mean that I give up my right to privacy and allow my SO to sift through every aspect of my life. That smacks of disrespect and co-dependency, both of which are no bueno for a healthy relationship.

^^^This.

smittybuilt19

We both have locked phones, but know the passwords to each. I left a FB page open of a girl I was creepin from back in HS, she saw it, flipped out, for obvious reasons.

I hate to say it, but I do check her texts from time to time to see what her mother is saying about me or criticizing how we operate as a family unit. Most recently, I was grilled because FB wasn't showing up in my recently viewed apps, when she knew I had been on FB. Since I don't use the FB app (chrome instead) it wasn't gonna be there. So I deactivated once again. Ah, jealousy and technology at it's finest.

skullshank

Hell no! It's none of his business.

which part?

All of it. I'm not married and I just don't see why I should have to give up my privacy. Private conversations between friends and family don't need to out in the open.

what if his phones battery is dead and he needs to look something up quickly, or text someone to let them know hes running late, or take a picture of that awesome dessert that was just put down in front of him at the restaurant you two frequent?

you should probably just get better at deleting the sexting youre doing with other people.


kidding. :flowerforyou:

MeganAnne89

It's not about having something to hide, it's about privacy. Being in a relationship doesn't automatically mean that I give up my right to privacy and allow my SO to sift through every aspect of my life. That smacks of disrespect and co-dependency, both of which are no bueno for a healthy relationship.

^^^This.

I think the difference here is that some of us are sort of talking about different things. I look at my boyfriends phone when he's sitting next to me, and he does the same to me. However, just because I look at his phone, doesn't mean that when I do, I check his Facebook or any other site he's signed up with. It's literally just glancing at text messages, most of which are just with his guy friends or his mom, and most of mine are just with my girlfriends or my siblings or my mom.

So when he does that to me, or when I do that to him, I feel like I'm not losing any of my privacy, and neither does he, because I would tell him those things anyways.

I think that by suggesting that your SO looks at your phone, some of us are assuming that it's one person grabbing the other's phone without permission so that they can check every site they're a part of, every email they've ever sent, every text message they've sent or received, etc. when in reality, that's generally not what's going on.

BlueBombers

Yes he has my phone code and I have his...not that we use each other's phones very often.

Nothing to hide.

Edit: I lock my phone mostly because of my kids or if I ever lose the phone. Don't need weird charges showing up.

Petrusilly

Yup. But he doesn't.

throoper

Of course. My husband knows my phone password and could look at my texts any time. He doesn't really feel the need to, but he could. We text friends from each other's phones, etc.

Kelli8885

Neither of us have locks on our phones. He can use my phone whenever he wants and I can use his. The only time I wouldn't let him near my phone was for about 6 months prior to our wedding. I had pictures of my wedding dress in my photo gallery and in my texts and I was really paranoid about him accidently seeing it before the wedding, lol.

Honestly, I would really like for him to add a lock to his phone. He keeps asking me to send naughty pics and I just don't feel comfortable with it when his phone isn't locked. Plus, he works with his family and the last thing I need is for my FIL or BIL to see my boobs or lady bits!

devil_in_a_blue_dress

It's not about having something to hide, it's about privacy. Being in a relationship doesn't automatically mean that I give up my right to privacy and allow my SO to sift through every aspect of my life. That smacks of disrespect and co-dependency, both of which are no bueno for a healthy relationship.

^^^This.

I think the difference here is that some of us are sort of talking about different things. I look at my boyfriends phone when he's sitting next to me, and he does the same to me. However, just because I look at his phone, doesn't mean that when I do, I check his Facebook or any other site he's signed up with. It's literally just glancing at text messages, most of which are just with his guy friends or his mom, and most of mine are just with my girlfriends or my siblings or my mom.

So when he does that to me, or when I do that to him, I feel like I'm not losing any of my privacy, and neither does he, because I would tell him those things anyways.

I think that by suggesting that your SO looks at your phone, some of us are assuming that it's one person grabbing the other's phone without permission so that they can check every site they're a part of, every email they've ever sent, every text message they've sent or received, etc. when in reality, that's generally not what's going on.

I think most of us fail to understand why you'd want to look at your SO phone when they are right next to you. Couldn't you jus talk about it? Why do you need to physically go though the other person's phone to know what they are doing?

I_need_moar_musclez

It's not about having something to hide, it's about privacy. Being in a relationship doesn't automatically mean that I give up my right to privacy and allow my SO to sift through every aspect of my life. That smacks of disrespect and co-dependency, both of which are no bueno for a healthy relationship.

^^^This.

I think the difference here is that some of us are sort of talking about different things. I look at my boyfriends phone when he's sitting next to me, and he does the same to me. However, just because I look at his phone, doesn't mean that when I do, I check his Facebook or any other site he's signed up with. It's literally just glancing at text messages, most of which are just with his guy friends or his mom, and most of mine are just with my girlfriends or my siblings or my mom.

So when he does that to me, or when I do that to him, I feel like I'm not losing any of my privacy, and neither does he, because I would tell him those things anyways.

I think that by suggesting that your SO looks at your phone, some of us are assuming that it's one person grabbing the other's phone without permission so that they can check every site they're a part of, every email they've ever sent, every text message they've sent or received, etc. when in reality, that's generally not what's going on.

You're right, there. A world of difference between sitting next to each other and sneaking a look to see if 'Sam' is Samuel or Samantha while they're in the shower.

ColeCake292012

We have each other's codes and passwords for everything. Mostly just because we are married, and sometimes we need to get into on another's stuff to reference an e-mail, or grab a phone number we don't have. I've gotten mad at him before for going through my Facebook conversations but it was only because he was being sneaky and untrustworthy about it, instead of just being straight up about it. He was all threatened because I talked to an old guy friend. Lol. All was good, and overall it isn't an issue at all! If it was, he wouldn't even be able to get on my Facebook.