Dumped for being 'TOO FAT" :(

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  • atorina21
    atorina21 Posts: 65 Member
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    used your weight as a an excuse (people are rarely honest in break ups).

    So true.
  • Mygsds
    Mygsds Posts: 1,564 Member
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    Hello, so sorry this is going on right now. Have you seen how beautiful you are????? Don't think about yesterday, but tomorrow. He obviously is not the one. Today is my 33 rd wedding anniversary. Mu husband has seen me thinner, fatter, hair standing on end, no makeup, puke in my hair and every other bad scenario. Love isn't about your body, but your heart. Absolutely there has to be a physical attraction, but do you want someone is is obviously so insecure himself that he tries to make you look bad,???life is about choices... Do this for yourself, no one else. You are responsible for your own happiness. Dont forget how beautiful you are. Hugs
  • michaeljacksonfan333
    michaeljacksonfan333 Posts: 56 Member
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    Congrats, however much he weighed, that's how much you've lost that you needed gone. Carry on losing whatever you want to lose for your own self, but the hard part is over.

    YES! Couldn't have said it better myself!
  • NZnative_Girl
    NZnative_Girl Posts: 30 Member
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    What a ****... I think you deserve better. You deserve someone who will like you no matter what size you are. What i've learned is that you should not do this for anyone else but your self. If you want to change, then you do it for you.

    Forget about him, concentrate on you :-)

    Take care.
  • morethenjustmum
    morethenjustmum Posts: 170 Member
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    You can lose the weight, he unfortunately will always be an a** hole.
  • Tal_Kyrte
    Tal_Kyrte Posts: 38 Member
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    Even though this left you feeling completely horrible, this experience brought out his true colors. You can now see him for who he truly is, a shallow, self absorbed douche who ditches the people he loves. You deserve to be with someone who will love you in thick in thin, in sickness and in health. He doesn't deserve you. What if you had stayed with this guy? At some point or another, we all become less attractive. Would he have dumped you if you had stretch marks after having his baby? Would he have left you when your hair went gray? What about when your boobs sag? Or when you start getting wrinkles? Sooner or later, our love has to transcend physical attraction, or else it wastes away.

    It may not seem like it now, but you dodged a bullet. When you lose the weight, don't you dare get back with him. He doesn't deserve anyone so fabulous. Find someone who loves your wonderful inside just as much as your beautiful exterior.
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
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    Bump
  • reneeot
    reneeot Posts: 773 Member
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    No matter the reason there is a breakup it feels bad. Don't focus on the reason, it will just make you feel worse. Grieve all you need but don't let your grief stop you from moving forward. Feel bad...but eat right. Feel rotten,,,but hit the gym. When you finish grieving you will have something positive already going on in your life.

    It's easy to say be glad he's gone, just move on and all the other cliche's one hears. But the bottom line is it feels crappy right now!

    Yes you are feeling no one else will want you and that having him is better than nothing. That's just the grief talking and it will subside, as I know that you know. Just hang in there!! And start dating! Invite a guy to coffee, and then move on to the next with no expectation. Maybe one of them will come running after yah! How exciting would that be! Go out and have some fun, with people who accept who you are! bigsmile: Go to a dance school and take a dance lesson where you don't have to bring a partner. Go with friends to a wine tasting. Go to the theatre and watch a play or opera! Just do things, while you wait for the pain to subside! Go places where you can interact with other people. :flowerforyou:

    This will be hard to do, but just keep trying. Some days will be better than others, and some days will be worse. But just keep doing positive things for yourself.

    These are words coming from someone who has been dealing with a unrequitted love with a very dear friend. My heart goes out to you!

    Hugs!
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
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    A real man's love will not disappear once a variable in your relationship fluctuates; he will stand by your side and help you through your difficult times. He did you a favor; I'd like to see what his future wife would look like after 3 kids and how that would make him feel.

    I can't agree with the "real man" statement. A real man does whatever a real man does. This particular real man happens to value an attractive appearance. That's like saying "you don't have a real job if they can't accept you in your sweatpants."






    This

    If the physical wasn't as important to us as it is to others, none of us would be here.
  • lukewind
    lukewind Posts: 177 Member
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    Sounds like you got rid of a grade A douchbag from your life. I would look at it as a good thing and move on sweetheart.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    Unfortunately some people are not attracted to bigger women, even if there was history before. It sucks and I'm sorry, but he did what he felt he had to do to find his own happiness and fulfillment in life.
  • w734q672
    w734q672 Posts: 578 Member
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    ^ yeah, what he said. To summarize his point, sometimes reality sucks
    Unfortunately some people are not attracted to bigger women, even if there was history before. It sucks and I'm sorry, but he did what he felt he had to do to find his own happiness and fulfillment in life.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    ^ yeah, what he said. To summarize his point, sometimes reality sucks
    Unfortunately some people are not attracted to bigger women, even if there was history before. It sucks and I'm sorry, but he did what he felt he had to do to find his own happiness and fulfillment in life.

    Yup. And I'm not going to blame him for it either. It beats the hell out of not being attracted to your partner and one or both becoming bitter over it.
  • Elizabethgulick93
    Elizabethgulick93 Posts: 46 Member
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    I too recently had a breakup, although not for the same reason. Honestly, if someone is going to break up with you for being "fat" then you don't want them in your life. You should be losing weight for yourself, and no one else! I know it's hard to think about, but honestly that's just such a lame excuse that I bet he was already losing interest in the relationship. My advice to you would be to work on you! When everyone else fails, you're always going to have to depend on yourself! If you can't depend on YOU, then you can't depend on anything or anyone! Feel free to add me for emotional support and advice, my breakup was devastating but I am slowly picking up the pieces and moving on. Good luck!
  • SEAFOODMAN
    SEAFOODMAN Posts: 342
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    he's definitely a loser, you're better off. you're beautiful!.................alot of guys like that, also alot of women like that lol............least there will be no distractions if you want to focus on dropping weight.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    It makes me sad that this guy is getting blasted.
  • w734q672
    w734q672 Posts: 578 Member
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    ^yeah, what he said
    It makes me sad that this guy is getting blasted.
  • evelyn150
    evelyn150 Posts: 6 Member
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    i was 130 lbs when i got married but weigh over 220 lbs. now. My husband does not like fat women so we are like roommates now. We get along but I know he doesn't like the way I look. I have lost over 25 lbs but our relationship will always suffer. I believe that if a man doesn't like overweight woman, you are better off without him even if you lose all the weight.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    i was 130 lbs when i got married but weigh over 220 lbs. now. My husband does not like fat women so we are like roommates now. We get along but I know he doesn't like the way I look. I have lost over 25 lbs but our relationship will always suffer. I believe that if a man doesn't like overweight woman, you are better off without him even if you lose all the weight.

    :noway:
  • sheiscute22
    sheiscute22 Posts: 10 Member
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    I know you are hurting. And I'm sorry. I hope it doesn't take you too long to feel the gratefulness that will come because he is no longer in your life. He actually did you a great favor. What if you married him and he shamed your children the way he shamed you. I know you would not allow that for one minute.

    I remember a male family member (in politics) lecturing my 85 year old mother about her weight. He had her in tears, she was just getting dementia, and trust me, he didn't care. She was confused and hurt. Of course, I interceded and threw him out of the house. Apparently he was concerned that his potential voters would not vote for him because of his mother's weight. So you see how crazy and stupid this sort of thing is. I told him that rational adults do not judge others based upon someone elses weight. I also encouraged him to seek therapy to address his shame issues. It was long overdue.

    In spite of all of that, I felt compassion for him. We were both raised in an alcholic home and all emotionally crippled. I was the only one who got professional help, thru the kindness of strangers and groups of people like this who are committed to living the best life they can.

    Keep up the good work and keep blogging. You'd be surprised at how many people you help. Thanks for everything.

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