Boyfriends buying junk food...

cantobean

I know most people are saying it's your responsibility to avoid it, and you should be able to have food in your house that you just don't eat, but I would find that really hard.

Maybe I have a lack of will power. Some things I'd be fine leaving. But others would be tough. Even if I COULD do it, I wouldn't want those things in my house everyday tempting me on the off chance that I would break down.

It's great so many people can resist and live with a partner who eats a completely different diet from them. This simply would not work for me and my husband. I'm glad we're on the journey of health and fitness together. He motivates me and we keep each other accountable. There are the occasional things he will eat that I won't, but those usually happen outside of our house (treats at work, beers with the guys, etc.).

Sorry if this isn't helpful, but I wanted to say I really do sympathize with your problem. I'm sure I wouldn't do well with that.

ChelseaWelseyKins

Girl, I know EXACTLY where you're at. My fiance was the first one to PUSH me to get healthy/lean. Then he started eating junk and tried pushing it on me like "One bite won't hurt" or "you can have some, c'mon". It's FRUSTRATING. I had to have a long talk with him and tell him that I didn't appreciate what he was doing and that it was making it harder for me to lose weight. Suggest that he keeps a "stash" of hidden junk food wherever he wants it, but keeps it away from you I'm sure he'd understand and he still gets his junk food!

yopeeps025

[warning: I'm going to give a brutal opinion. Here be dragons]

Is it REALLY that hard to NOT eat something that doesn't fit whatever program you're on?

I always get a laugh out if threads like this. YOUR health is YOUR issue, not your partner's. If you don't want to eat the chips, cookies, whatever food is on your "do not devour" list, don't eat it. If you do, that's your problem. Trying to foist your own lack of control is what you eat onto your purported loved ones is simply avoidance of your own responsibility in your eating.

My wife forever buys things I used to eat regularly, two years on in my weight loss and fitness then acts surprised when I don't eat them - even after telling her repeatedly that I'm not going to as if it's some personal vendetta against her.

Grow up and take responsibility for your actions.

How about, you consider that everyone is different and that not everybody's mind processes the same.
What if someone had a mental disorder - that changed their relationship with food badly and just asked for some advice?

What are you trying to say OP?

martinel2099

Anyone have a boyfriend who loves to buy junk food?

Well, I do. And it's bloody difficult.
I'm trying to cut that kind of stuff out of my diet, so I can finally start to lose weight again'. But he seems to buy a load of junk food when he's at home on the weekends.

I know I should be able to control myself but I'm human and fat, so I can't.

I've tried to get him to stop but he seems to be addicted to sugar or something, so he isn't going to stop buying this stuff.

How do I resist the urge. What am I supposed to say to myself? What am I supposed to do?

You need to learn to develop a healthy relationship with food. Your boyfriend purchasing junk food for himself is not the problem, but rather your inability to control yourself around it.

The question I have to ask, are you eliminating junk food / treats from your diet completely? That's where you are going wrong if you are. You can lose weight eating all of your favorite foods as long as you eat at a calorie deficit. If you want to take your nutrition into account too you can manage your macros as well.

Focus on long term weight loss vs short term. If your weight loss goal is too aggressive, make it less aggressive (Ex, if you are working on 1lb per week, try .5 lbs per week). Also, hit the gym and be more active. Do it to improve your health, but the bonus is you can have more treats.

jtarmom

My husband does the same. It really wasn't realistic for me to cut it out completely, so I just made myself measure out the portion that fit into my calories for the day. At first he made fun of me for measuring it out, but when he saw I was serious the junk food slowly stopped showing up as frequently. And once the pounds started falling off even with the treats, I was happier that this was something I could live with.

Good luck - I feel your pain. I hope you can find something that works for you.

sculli123

Substitute the junk food with heatlhy foods that taste equally as good. You can't change other people, don't try I wasted 12 years trying with my soon to be ex.

willrun4bagels

[warning: I'm going to give a brutal opinion. Here be dragons]

Grow up and take responsibility for your actions.

How about, you consider that everyone is different and that not everybody's mind processes the same.
What if someone had a mental disorder - that changed their relationship with food badly and just asked for some advice?

This isn't a ED forum and there's zero evidence from OP that what you're saying is even remotely the case. And if she did have an ED, what's generally a weight loss forum is just about the LAST place to ask.

OP is the one that posted the comment you quoted.

ClairePear14

[warning: I'm going to give a brutal opinion. Here be dragons]

Grow up and take responsibility for your actions.

How about, you consider that everyone is different and that not everybody's mind processes the same.
What if someone had a mental disorder - that changed their relationship with food badly and just asked for some advice?

This isn't a ED forum and there's zero evidence from OP that what you're saying is even remotely the case. And if she did have an ED, what's generally a weight loss forum is just about the LAST place to ask.

I am OP.

CSARdiver

I would be the boyfriend (or husband) in this scenario. I keep the junk food around even though I'm eating healthier and don't buy into purging. Long term weight loss is only sustainable through a long term strategy - keeping it simple. Everything in moderation and exercise.

You have to love the benefits of health more than the benefits of eating junk food.

ClairePear14

[warning: I'm going to give a brutal opinion. Here be dragons]

Is it REALLY that hard to NOT eat something that doesn't fit whatever program you're on?

I always get a laugh out if threads like this. YOUR health is YOUR issue, not your partner's. If you don't want to eat the chips, cookies, whatever food is on your "do not devour" list, don't eat it. If you do, that's your problem. Trying to foist your own lack of control is what you eat onto your purported loved ones is simply avoidance of your own responsibility in your eating.

My wife forever buys things I used to eat regularly, two years on in my weight loss and fitness then acts surprised when I don't eat them - even after telling her repeatedly that I'm not going to as if it's some personal vendetta against her.

Grow up and take responsibility for your actions.

How about, you consider that everyone is different and that not everybody's mind processes the same.
What if someone had a mental disorder - that changed their relationship with food badly and just asked for some advice?

What are you trying to say OP?

I really didn't want my OLD issue being mentioned but people don't seem to understand.
Yes, I had an eating disorder. It was BED (binge eating disorder) and it still lingers around in my head.
That's why it's such a battle for me. I'm fighting myself mentally.

This didn't need to go on a ED form because I wasn't making that the issue.

I was only simply asking for some advice on how to resist the food without mentioning the issue.

And just to clarify to everyone who doesn't seem to get it and I'll put it in caps lock so you see it:
I AM NOT TRYING TO CHANGE MY BOYFRIENDS DIET. HE WANTS TO HIMSELF BUT DOESNT FEEL LIKE HE CAN. HE CAN EAT WHATEVER HE WANTS. I WAS JUST SAYING I NEEDED HELP WITH CONTROL. THAT IS ALL.

randomtai

See a doctor.

yopeeps025

[warning: I'm going to give a brutal opinion. Here be dragons]

Is it REALLY that hard to NOT eat something that doesn't fit whatever program you're on?

I always get a laugh out if threads like this. YOUR health is YOUR issue, not your partner's. If you don't want to eat the chips, cookies, whatever food is on your "do not devour" list, don't eat it. If you do, that's your problem. Trying to foist your own lack of control is what you eat onto your purported loved ones is simply avoidance of your own responsibility in your eating.

My wife forever buys things I used to eat regularly, two years on in my weight loss and fitness then acts surprised when I don't eat them - even after telling her repeatedly that I'm not going to as if it's some personal vendetta against her.

Grow up and take responsibility for your actions.

How about, you consider that everyone is different and that not everybody's mind processes the same.
What if someone had a mental disorder - that changed their relationship with food badly and just asked for some advice?

What are you trying to say OP?

I really didn't want my OLD issue being mentioned but people don't seem to understand.
Yes, I had an eating disorder. It was BED (binge eating disorder) and it still lingers around in my head.
That's why it's such a battle for me. I'm fighting myself mentally.

This didn't need to go on a ED form because I wasn't making that the issue.

I was only simply asking for some advice on how to resist the food without mentioning the issue.

And just to clarify to everyone who doesn't seem to get it and I'll put it in caps lock so you see it:
I AM NOT TRYING TO CHANGE MY BOYFRIENDS DIET. HE WANTS TO HIMSELF BUT DOESNT FEEL LIKE HE CAN. HE CAN EAT WHATEVER HE WANTS. I WAS JUST SAYING I NEEDED HELP WITH CONTROL. THAT IS ALL.

So you both have no self control. Well we needed why you had no self control. BTW I used to have that problem to until I really wanted to lose weight. Wha la its gone. How else did I get big especially at a young age. Age 13 already 200 pounds. From eating a lot.

sheedy17

kick him to the curb

Mr_Knight

I know I should be able to control myself but I'm human and fat, so I can't.

Bull ****.

That's just pre-excusing failure and insult to all the humans - fat or otherwise - who manage to get their **** together.

willrun4bagels

I really didn't want my OLD issue being mentioned but people don't seem to understand.
Yes, I had an eating disorder. It was BED (binge eating disorder) and it still lingers around in my head.
That's why it's such a battle for me. I'm fighting myself mentally.

This didn't need to go on a ED form because I wasn't making that the issue.

I was only simply asking for some advice on how to resist the food without mentioning the issue.

And just to clarify to everyone who doesn't seem to get it and I'll put it in caps lock so you see it:
I AM NOT TRYING TO CHANGE MY BOYFRIENDS DIET. HE WANTS TO HIMSELF BUT DOESNT FEEL LIKE HE CAN. HE CAN EAT WHATEVER HE WANTS. I WAS JUST SAYING I NEEDED HELP WITH CONTROL. THAT IS ALL.

First of all, STOP YELLING. LOUD NOISES.

Second, you received comments on here from users that offered their suggestions or advice (myself included) on how to help with your self control. I'm not sure what else you want from strangers on the internet. People tried to give you thoughtful responses.

If you had an ED in the past, the vast majority of people on here may not be equipped to help you, and you likely need to seek professional help.

meridianova

And just to clarify to everyone who doesn't seem to get it and I'll put it in caps lock so you see it:
I AM NOT TRYING TO CHANGE MY BOYFRIENDS DIET. HE WANTS TO HIMSELF BUT DOESNT FEEL LIKE HE CAN. HE CAN EAT WHATEVER HE WANTS. I WAS JUST SAYING I NEEDED HELP WITH CONTROL. THAT IS ALL.

then redefine what you consider food.

one of the things that helps me is to consider potato chips, cookies, ice cream, and other junk foods as "not" food. in my mind, they are on the same level as a keyboard, a rolling pin, or a bathroom tile. you wouldn't eat any of those, right? they are not food. think of them as being made out of styrofoam or pieces of plastic.

once i accepted that cupcakes and brownies were as much food as scissors, paperclips, and folders, i was able to ignore treats that come in at work.

ClairePear14

Eugh... I give up. There is literally no point.

Thanks to those you that actually understood , gave some relevant advice and helped.

CupcakeCrusoe

I know what you mean. Occasionally, I finish off half a bag of chips in a sitting. These things happen.

And it's important that these things happen.
Because it's not the end of the world if they do.
OH NO I ATE SOME CHIPS doesn't exist for me. You dust yourself off, pick yourself up, and keep trucking. I expect to eat chips and ice cream for the rest of my life, in some quantity. So it's important I have them and can control them now, or at worst, do the damage control afterward.

Because life after I lose all the weight is going to be that: control of and damage control for food.

JoRocka

How about, you consider that everyone is different and that not everybody's mind processes the same.
What if someone had a mental disorder - that changed their relationship with food badly and just asked for some advice?

okay- so here's the thing.

NOT saying "I used to have a problem"- and then bringing it up as a 'what if' scenario is backhanded and childish and doesn't help you. You should have been clear and up front from the get go- OR just not said anything at all.

Seriously- the best way to get help is to be truthful about the situation.

And the reality is if you HAD/HAVE an ED- you need to see a professional- not air your issues on a public forum.

Secondly- or thirdly- people HAVE given you sound advice. And it's the advice that works for everyone.
Grow up, be an adult with your food- learn how to say no-
Kearn how to have some self discipline and take control-
Don't let an inanimate object control you. And don't eat your emotions.

deksgrl

Last night my bf made a chocolate layer cake with chocolate pudding between the layers and chocolate frosting. I had a piece, and it was lovely. Yes, I was over my calories, but not by a whole lot, I can easily make up for it.

The point is, I DECIDED I was going to have a piece. Other times I say no. This time I decided I was going to eat it and make adjustments by eating a little less today and going for an extra walk.