MY RESONSE TO -"SO YOU WANT A NICE STOMACH"
Replies
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Shes not a bikini competitor.
Shes a physique competitor.
Shes made it clear she won't prance in heels across the stage (though there is nothing wrong if thats what you want to do - its just not for her). This is from a convo she and I had about competing since I'm toying with a bikini comp.
Oooh. My bad. I thought it was surprising that she would choose bikini. I didn't know there was a difference. Consider me schooled.
http://www.ngaidaho.com/whats-the-difference-womens-bodybuilding-figure-and-bikini/
I do bodybuilding in the natural competitions and physique (between bodybuilding and figure) in the not natural competitions (some compete natural and some use steroids, I can't get big enough to compete as a bodybuilder in those shows because I don't use steroids).
Thanks!0 -
I'm with OP. Everyone can't have a flat stomach... FACT. I'd say that most people who were obese for 10+ years (I'm not talking overweight here, but with 70+ pounds to lose) will not be able to get a flat stomach without surgery. A mom who gained 20 pounds during pregnancy and lost them right away... probably not a problem.
I do agree that sometimes those threads, even though they mean well, give people unrealistic expectations.
LOL do you even know the OP of the original thread's background?0 -
I'm with OP. Everyone can't have a flat stomach... FACT. I'd say that most people who were obese for 10+ years (I'm not talking overweight here, but with 70+ pounds to lose) will not be able to get a flat stomach without surgery. A mom who gained 20 pounds during pregnancy and lost them right away... probably not a problem.
I do agree that sometimes those threads, even though they mean well, give people unrealistic expectations.
LOL do you even know the OP of the original thread's background?
Clearly she read something different than I did.0 -
I'm with OP. Everyone can't have a flat stomach... FACT. I'd say that most people who were obese for 10+ years (I'm not talking overweight here, but with 70+ pounds to lose) will not be able to get a flat stomach without surgery. A mom who gained 20 pounds during pregnancy and lost them right away... probably not a problem.
I do agree that sometimes those threads, even though they mean well, give people unrealistic expectations.
Do you even read?
Srsly0 -
I'm with OP. Everyone can't have a flat stomach... FACT. I'd say that most people who were obese for 10+ years (I'm not talking overweight here, but with 70+ pounds to lose) will not be able to get a flat stomach without surgery. A mom who gained 20 pounds during pregnancy and lost them right away... probably not a problem.
I do agree that sometimes those threads, even though they mean well, give people unrealistic expectations.
I created the stomach fat thread. I was 50 pounds overweight for 2 years before getting pregnant. I gained at least 50 pounds with each pregnancy. I was 60 pounds overweight for two years after having my second son. It took me 3 more years to lose all of that. It wasn't like I just gained a few pounds while pregnant and lost it. I'm not just some person who has been in shape my whole life.
Sure, I have it "easier" since I didn't spend over 10 years carrying that weight. I still have loose skin and I may never get rid of it (I won't have surgery). There is a chance that someone who has been 70+ pounds overweight for 10+ years will have even more loose skin and may never have abs like mine. They can still have a slimmer stomach.
ETA:
Here's my story: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/971636-my-story-of-sweet-revenge-pics
Here's a blog about my strech marks and loose skin: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/usmcmp/view/cellulite-stretch-marks-and-loose-skin-6850550 -
Genetics are a real factor that get used as an excuse more often than not.
Honestly, as much as I hate mass media and the ridiculous images that we are inundated with, there are a wide variety of "looks" even among Hollywood actresses. There isn't and has never been one unobtainable look that we are all supposed to aspire to. You can pick and choose your goal body based on what you have to work with: I've always been more of a Martine Beswick than a Rachel Welch, for instance. I aspire to Amber at GoKaleo.com
In the thread we are referring to, USMCMP wasn't presenting some sort of theoretical ideal. She described what she did - stretch marks and all. And she is a a bikini competitor.
Given the huge number of women on this very site who have had kids, been fat and gotten into fabulous shape afterward, I'd reserve judgement and see what you CAN do rather than limiting your goals based on what you think you are stuck with given your history.
Oh right. There may be some background here that I am missing re: the original thread the OP was commenting upon.
I not saying there's anything bad with being aspirational or wanting to be the very best you can be and working towards that depending on your individual attributes. That said all to often I see women (and men too for that matter) aspiring to look like a certain celebrity or a certain way when realistically they simply wont be able to and yes, a large part of that can be genetic. Take "thigh gap gate" for example. Not much you can do if your genetics don't support it. Or you don't have photoshop. Doesn't stop people going for it and being disappointed when they fall short.
I suppose this is about the line where realistic expectations end and misery begins...0 -
I created the stomach fat thread. I was 50 pounds overweight for 2 years before getting pregnant. I gained at least 50 pounds with each pregnancy. I was 60 pounds overweight for two years after having my second son. It took me 3 more years to lose all of that. It wasn't like I just gained a few pounds while pregnant and lost it. I'm not just some person who has been in shape my whole life.
Sure, I have it "easier" since I didn't spend over 10 years carrying that weight. I still have loose skin and I may never get rid of it (I won't have surgery). There is a chance that someone who has been 70+ pounds overweight for 10+ years will have even more loose skin and may never have abs like mine. They can still have a slimmer stomach.
ETA:
Here's my story: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/971636-my-story-of-sweet-revenge-pics
Here's a blog about my strech marks and loose skin: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/usmcmp/view/cellulite-stretch-marks-and-loose-skin-685055
Always helpful and inspiring!
Also, thanks for explaining the different types of competitions.0 -
I'm with OP. Everyone can't have a flat stomach... FACT. I'd say that most people who were obese for 10+ years (I'm not talking overweight here, but with 70+ pounds to lose) will not be able to get a flat stomach without surgery. A mom who gained 20 pounds during pregnancy and lost them right away... probably not a problem.
I do agree that sometimes those threads, even though they mean well, give people unrealistic expectations.
I can't even.... :noway:0 -
<
I've had 2 children!!
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Genetics are a real factor that get used as an excuse more often than not.
Honestly, as much as I hate mass media and the ridiculous images that we are inundated with, there are a wide variety of "looks" even among Hollywood actresses. There isn't and has never been one unobtainable look that we are all supposed to aspire to. You can pick and choose your goal body based on what you have to work with: I've always been more of a Martine Beswick than a Rachel Welch, for instance. I aspire to Amber at GoKaleo.com
In the thread we are referring to, USMCMP wasn't presenting some sort of theoretical ideal. She described what she did - stretch marks and all. And she is a a bikini competitor.
Given the huge number of women on this very site who have had kids, been fat and gotten into fabulous shape afterward, I'd reserve judgement and see what you CAN do rather than limiting your goals based on what you think you are stuck with given your history.
Oh right. There may be some background here that I am missing re: the original thread the OP was commenting upon.
I not saying there's anything bad with being aspirational or wanting to be the very best you can be and working towards that depending on your individual attributes. That said all to often I see women (and men too for that matter) aspiring to look like a certain celebrity or a certain way when realistically they simply wont be able to and yes, a large part of that can be genetic. Take "thigh gap gate" for example. Not much you can do if your genetics don't support it. Or you don't have photoshop. Doesn't stop people going for it and being disappointed when they fall short.
I suppose this is about the line where realistic expectations end and misery begins...
Now, I totally agree with that. If you are saying "do your best you" - I'm 100% on board. If you are saying "healthy can be good enough" - I'm completely there. I'm not choosing to reduce my body fat any more right now. I'm not doing a hypertrophy routine.
It's the "I'll never be able to..." that I question. I came on here and saw a number of women with rocking bodies and thought "I could never be like that. They must be (fundamentally not like me)." And then I found out that we were more alike than different. :noway:
I mean, for God's sake, we have a 69 year old on here posting bikini shots. This place is magic.
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how sad for you, OP. I've had 2 children and have since competed..... IF you want it, you CAN make it happen.....
unedited
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how sad for you, OP. I've had 2 children and have since competed..... IF you want it, you CAN make it happen.....
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You look so awesome Puffy!0 -
how sad for you, OP. I've had 2 children and have since competed..... IF you want it, you CAN make it happen.....
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You look so awesome Puffy!
aw, thank you! My profile pic is more current, but I wanted to show it can happen, IF that is what is wanted....0 -
Usmcmp really is inspiring. Even for this guy.0
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how sad for you, OP. I've had 2 children and have since competed..... IF you want it, you CAN make it happen.....
I don't know that this is any more helpful, though, than the OP. Some women truly CAN'T make it happen. And they shouldn't beat themselves up if they have worked really hard and can't achieve this. Everyone should be the best they can. But some women do just end up with skin that stretches and never goes back to taut. Sometimes it's from pregnancy and sometimes it's just from being overweight.
At some point, genetics play a role and we can't all look like that.
As I said, though, having had babies or having been overweight isn't a deciding factor. Clearly, women who have had babies and been overweight (sometimes both at the same time) have achieved this look and should be proud.0 -
I'm with OP. Everyone can't have a flat stomach... FACT. I'd say that most people who were obese for 10+ years (I'm not talking overweight here, but with 70+ pounds to lose) will not be able to get a flat stomach without surgery. A mom who gained 20 pounds during pregnancy and lost them right away... probably not a problem.
I do agree that sometimes those threads, even though they mean well, give people unrealistic expectations.
:laugh:
I have been obese for 10+ years, my first pregnancy people didn't even know I was pregnant!!
It's not perfect, but still working on it.
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Now, I totally agree with that. If you are saying "do your best you" - I'm 100% on board. If you are saying "healthy can be good enough" - I'm completely there. I'm not choosing to reduce my body fat any more right now. I'm not doing a hypertrophy routine.
It's the "I'll never be able to..." that I question. I came on here and saw a number of women with rocking bodies and thought "I could never be like that. They must be (fundamentally not like me)." And then I found out that we were more alike than different. :noway:
I mean, for God's sake, we have a 69 year old on here posting bikini shots. This place is magic.
Good lord. Let's not find some sensible common ground here. That's just on the MFP way!
Until the next time, my fearsome opponent.
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how sad for you, OP. I've had 2 children and have since competed..... IF you want it, you CAN make it happen.....
I don't know that this is any more helpful, though, than the OP. Some women truly CAN'T make it happen. And they shouldn't beat themselves up if they have worked really hard and can't achieve this. Everyone should be the best they can. But some women do just end up with skin that stretches and never goes back to taut. Sometimes it's from pregnancy and sometimes it's just from being overweight.
At some point, genetics play a role and we can't all look like that.
As I said, though, having had babies or having been overweight isn't a deciding factor. Clearly, women who have had babies and been overweight (sometimes both at the same time) have achieved this look and should be proud.
I was not saying everyone can. I was saying it CAN happen IF that is the desired look. I am also aware not everyone bounces back from stretch marks, etc. Those should be embraced, not cursed.
ETA: my competition look isn't for everyone and I am ok with that. It was for me, to see how hard I could push myself, not everyone else.
Also, I NEVER said anyone should not be proud of their accomplishments, because everyone should be proud of themselves for their hard work.0 -
Now, I totally agree with that. If you are saying "do your best you" - I'm 100% on board. If you are saying "healthy can be good enough" - I'm completely there. I'm not choosing to reduce my body fat any more right now. I'm not doing a hypertrophy routine.
It's the "I'll never be able to..." that I question. I came on here and saw a number of women with rocking bodies and thought "I could never be like that. They must be (fundamentally not like me)." And then I found out that we were more alike than different. :noway:
I mean, for God's sake, we have a 69 year old on here posting bikini shots. This place is magic.
Good lord. Let's not find some sensible common ground here. That's just on the MFP way!
Until the next time, my fearsome opponent.
Sigh. I thought sensible common ground was the goal.
Aren't we all here for the same thing? :laugh:0 -
So distraught I'm late to this party...0
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Oh God. This is the same OP that got her thread deleted for calling all men, basically, scumbags. Welcome back OP.
Oh hohoho...hoo boy.
Yep welcome back to me .....burning at the stake.......
Drama much?0 -
how sad for you, OP. I've had 2 children and have since competed..... IF you want it, you CAN make it happen.....
I don't know that this is any more helpful, though, than the OP. Some women truly CAN'T make it happen. And they shouldn't beat themselves up if they have worked really hard and can't achieve this. Everyone should be the best they can. But some women do just end up with skin that stretches and never goes back to taut. Sometimes it's from pregnancy and sometimes it's just from being overweight.
At some point, genetics play a role and we can't all look like that.
As I said, though, having had babies or having been overweight isn't a deciding factor. Clearly, women who have had babies and been overweight (sometimes both at the same time) have achieved this look and should be proud.
I was not saying everyone can. I was saying it CAN happen IF that is the desired look. I am also aware not everyone bounces back from stretch marks, etc. Those should be embraced, not cursed.
ETA: my competition look isn't for everyone and I am ok with that. It was for me, to see how hard I could push myself, not everyone else.
Also, I NEVER said anyone should not be proud of their accomplishments, because everyone should be proud of themselves for their hard work.
Well, I, for one, am glad you did because it showed me that this might be one more limitation that was only real inside my head space.0 -
how sad for you, OP. I've had 2 children and have since competed..... IF you want it, you CAN make it happen.....
I don't know that this is any more helpful, though, than the OP. Some women truly CAN'T make it happen. And they shouldn't beat themselves up if they have worked really hard and can't achieve this. Everyone should be the best they can. But some women do just end up with skin that stretches and never goes back to taut. Sometimes it's from pregnancy and sometimes it's just from being overweight.
At some point, genetics play a role and we can't all look like that.
As I said, though, having had babies or having been overweight isn't a deciding factor. Clearly, women who have had babies and been overweight (sometimes both at the same time) have achieved this look and should be proud.
I was not saying everyone can. I was saying it CAN happen IF that is the desired look. I am also aware not everyone bounces back from stretch marks, etc. Those should be embraced, not cursed.
ETA: my competition look isn't for everyone and I am ok with that. It was for me, to see how hard I could push myself, not everyone else.
Also, I NEVER said anyone should not be proud of their accomplishments, because everyone should be proud of themselves for their hard work.
Well, I, for one, am glad you did because it showed me that this might be one more limitation that was only real inside my head space.
thank ya kindly. I had hoped my response did not come off as body shaming anyone else or making anyone else feel like they aren't worthy if their body doesn't want to cooperate.... I did not mean it that way.
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OP, you don't know usmcmp, but many of us do. And let me tell you, you are WAY off in your observations. She is one of the sweetest, most helpful, and most credible women on here. I am shocked that she continues to selflessly offer her help here to many of us despite ridiculous threads like these started by women who want to put her down to feel better about themselves.
If you wanted a body like hers, you could get it. So could I. But, like you, I haven't been willing to put the work in. She works really, incredibly hard for it, and she doesn't pretend like it's easy or expected of anyone else. So just calm yourself down and go eat a sandwich.0 -
I didn't read it that way and I know you better than that! :-)how sad for you, OP. I've had 2 children and have since competed..... IF you want it, you CAN make it happen.....
I don't know that this is any more helpful, though, than the OP. Some women truly CAN'T make it happen. And they shouldn't beat themselves up if they have worked really hard and can't achieve this. Everyone should be the best they can. But some women do just end up with skin that stretches and never goes back to taut. Sometimes it's from pregnancy and sometimes it's just from being overweight.
At some point, genetics play a role and we can't all look like that.
As I said, though, having had babies or having been overweight isn't a deciding factor. Clearly, women who have had babies and been overweight (sometimes both at the same time) have achieved this look and should be proud.
I was not saying everyone can. I was saying it CAN happen IF that is the desired look. I am also aware not everyone bounces back from stretch marks, etc. Those should be embraced, not cursed.
ETA: my competition look isn't for everyone and I am ok with that. It was for me, to see how hard I could push myself, not everyone else.
Also, I NEVER said anyone should not be proud of their accomplishments, because everyone should be proud of themselves for their hard work.
Well, I, for one, am glad you did because it showed me that this might be one more limitation that was only real inside my head space.
thank ya kindly. I had hoped my response did not come off as body shaming anyone else or making anyone else feel like they aren't worthy if their body doesn't want to cooperate.... I did not mean it that way.
I just read it as, "no matter what, if you work hard and you really want it, it can happen," and that isn't always true. I'd hate to see someone do all the right things and feel defeated if she couldn't quite get there. Certainly, if it's a goal, try for it and you might reach it.0 -
I KNOW I SAID THIS AT THE END OF THE ABOVE THREAD BUT IT SHOULD BE REPEATED SO WOMEN WITH CHILDREN DO NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT THEMSELVES OR HAVE UNREAL EXPECTATIONS, AND TO THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE NOT HAD KIDDIES KUDOS TO YOU, I USED TO HAVE RIPPED ABS BEFORE I HAD KIDS ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS!! LOL....I don't care how skinny you get, how much weight you lose, or how many sit-ups or training you do, how much self discipline, self will you have, if you have had babies, especially 2-3+ there's no way you will have a ripped stomach EVER AGAIN. Although it can be IMPROVED WITH EXERCISE AND MOSTLY IMPROVED BY SURGURY. There will always be that extra skin from STRETCHING.....but for me I am PROUD AND OF MY STRETCH MARKS those are my BATTLE SCARS and I would not have my BEAUTIFUL SONS WITHOUT THEM
I have two daughters... aged 7 and 9 now.
it IS possible for some. Maybe not all, but for some there is still hope.
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I KNOW I SAID THIS AT THE END OF THE ABOVE THREAD BUT IT SHOULD BE REPEATED SO WOMEN WITH CHILDREN DO NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT THEMSELVES OR HAVE UNREAL EXPECTATIONS, AND TO THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE NOT HAD KIDDIES KUDOS TO YOU, I USED TO HAVE RIPPED ABS BEFORE I HAD KIDS ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS!! LOL....I don't care how skinny you get, how much weight you lose, or how many sit-ups or training you do, how much self discipline, self will you have, if you have had babies, especially 2-3+ there's no way you will have a ripped stomach EVER AGAIN. Although it can be IMPROVED WITH EXERCISE AND MOSTLY IMPROVED BY SURGURY. There will always be that extra skin from STRETCHING.....but for me I am PROUD AND OF MY STRETCH MARKS those are my BATTLE SCARS and I would not have my BEAUTIFUL SONS WITHOUT THEM
I have two daughters... aged 7 and 9 now.
it IS possible for some. Maybe not all, but for some there is still hope.
freaking rock star right there!! 0 -
how sad for you, OP. I've had 2 children and have since competed..... IF you want it, you CAN make it happen.....
I don't know that this is any more helpful, though, than the OP. Some women truly CAN'T make it happen. And they shouldn't beat themselves up if they have worked really hard and can't achieve this. Everyone should be the best they can. But some women do just end up with skin that stretches and never goes back to taut. Sometimes it's from pregnancy and sometimes it's just from being overweight.
At some point, genetics play a role and we can't all look like that.
As I said, though, having had babies or having been overweight isn't a deciding factor. Clearly, women who have had babies and been overweight (sometimes both at the same time) have achieved this look and should be proud.
I was not saying everyone can. I was saying it CAN happen IF that is the desired look. I am also aware not everyone bounces back from stretch marks, etc. Those should be embraced, not cursed.
ETA: my competition look isn't for everyone and I am ok with that. It was for me, to see how hard I could push myself, not everyone else.
Also, I NEVER said anyone should not be proud of their accomplishments, because everyone should be proud of themselves for their hard work.
Well, I, for one, am glad you did because it showed me that this might be one more limitation that was only real inside my head space.
thank ya kindly. I had hoped my response did not come off as body shaming anyone else or making anyone else feel like they aren't worthy if their body doesn't want to cooperate.... I did not mean it that way.
As you made clear in your 42 edits.0 -
I'm with OP. Everyone can't have a flat stomach... FACT. I'd say that most people who were obese for 10+ years (I'm not talking overweight here, but with 70+ pounds to lose) will not be able to get a flat stomach without surgery. A mom who gained 20 pounds during pregnancy and lost them right away... probably not a problem.
I do agree that sometimes those threads, even though they mean well, give people unrealistic expectations.
Aren't we all adults here? Shouldn't we be able to distinguish what is attainable for us and what isn't based on our circumstances and desires?
My trainer posted a pic of her abs 4 months post partum. It didn't set my expectations high. I was able to understand several key differences that would affect my ability to achieve the same. I'm not aiming to copy her but she is still an inspiration.0 -
I'm with OP. Everyone can't have a flat stomach... FACT. I'd say that most people who were obese for 10+ years (I'm not talking overweight here, but with 70+ pounds to lose) will not be able to get a flat stomach without surgery. A mom who gained 20 pounds during pregnancy and lost them right away... probably not a problem.
I do agree that sometimes those threads, even though they mean well, give people unrealistic expectations.
Well. This just became a motivation I'm planning on using to prove you dead wrong. Thanks!0
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