MY RESONSE TO -"SO YOU WANT A NICE STOMACH"

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Replies

  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    I'm with OP. Everyone can't have a flat stomach... FACT. I'd say that most people who were obese for 10+ years (I'm not talking overweight here, but with 70+ pounds to lose) will not be able to get a flat stomach without surgery. A mom who gained 20 pounds during pregnancy and lost them right away... probably not a problem.

    I do agree that sometimes those threads, even though they mean well, give people unrealistic expectations.


    Aren't we all adults here? Shouldn't we be able to distinguish what is attainable for us and what isn't based on our circumstances and desires?
    My trainer posted a pic of her abs 4 months post partum. It didn't set my expectations high. I was able to understand several key differences that would affect my ability to achieve the same. I'm not aiming to copy her but she is still an inspiration.

    Awww. You had your little bit. How cute!

    ETA - NEVER underestimate the dysmorphia that exists on this site.
  • Some_Watery_Tart
    Some_Watery_Tart Posts: 2,250 Member
    I'm with OP. Everyone can't have a flat stomach... FACT. I'd say that most people who were obese for 10+ years (I'm not talking overweight here, but with 70+ pounds to lose) will not be able to get a flat stomach without surgery. A mom who gained 20 pounds during pregnancy and lost them right away... probably not a problem.

    I do agree that sometimes those threads, even though they mean well, give people unrealistic expectations.

    Well. This just became a motivation I'm planning on using to prove you dead wrong. Thanks!
    Hmmm...I might actually take a run at it too now. And believe me, my stomach is probably worse than anyone's here. :laugh:
  • how sad for you, OP. I've had 2 children and have since competed..... IF you want it, you CAN make it happen.....

    I don't know that this is any more helpful, though, than the OP. Some women truly CAN'T make it happen. And they shouldn't beat themselves up if they have worked really hard and can't achieve this. Everyone should be the best they can. But some women do just end up with skin that stretches and never goes back to taut. Sometimes it's from pregnancy and sometimes it's just from being overweight.

    At some point, genetics play a role and we can't all look like that.

    As I said, though, having had babies or having been overweight isn't a deciding factor. Clearly, women who have had babies and been overweight (sometimes both at the same time) have achieved this look and should be proud.

    I was not saying everyone can. I was saying it CAN happen IF that is the desired look. I am also aware not everyone bounces back from stretch marks, etc. Those should be embraced, not cursed.


    ETA: my competition look isn't for everyone and I am ok with that. It was for me, to see how hard I could push myself, not everyone else. :wink:

    Also, I NEVER said anyone should not be proud of their accomplishments, because everyone should be proud of themselves for their hard work.

    Well, I, for one, am glad you did because it showed me that this might be one more limitation that was only real inside my head space.

    thank ya kindly. I had hoped my response did not come off as body shaming anyone else or making anyone else feel like they aren't worthy if their body doesn't want to cooperate.... I did not mean it that way. :(

    As you made clear in your 42 edits.

    I would just never want anyone to feel bad about themselves based on anything I said.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    No I am PROUD of my body especially when I gained 75 lbs with all pregnancys and now I am 113 lbs. I just don't like people giving women that have had babies unreal expectations about their stomachs is all. If I was that upset I would go run out and get PLASTIC SURGURY I certainly have the money too but I have not! And I would like to know HOW many pregnancies the author has had? I have had four. I'm not bashing you author but it is hard to believe that picture is your real stomach if you have had multiple pregnancies, maybe If you have had one, it would be easier to believe. The stand point I am coming from is I have DR's in my family and they have told me it is MEDICALLY IMPOSSIBLE for a womens stomach/the muscles to go back to what they were before pregnancy because they get too stretched and injured. So that is why I made my post, understand? and if that is your real stomach author than I quess I will read your post more carefully so I can tell my Dr's in my family about what you say, did not mean to sound bashing. :)

    You do realize that skin elasticity is hereditary... right? :huh:

    Just because you have loose skin, doesn't mean every other mother is doomed to the same fate.

    Broad generalizations have a tendency to get people in trouble around here. You should avoid making them.
  • mrsgoodwine
    mrsgoodwine Posts: 468 Member
    I have 3 children and not a stretch mark in sight or loose skin.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    No I am PROUD of my body especially when I gained 75 lbs with all pregnancys and now I am 113 lbs. I just don't like people giving women that have had babies unreal expectations about their stomachs is all. If I was that upset I would go run out and get PLASTIC SURGURY I certainly have the money too but I have not! And I would like to know HOW many pregnancies the author has had? I have had four. I'm not bashing you author but it is hard to believe that picture is your real stomach if you have had multiple pregnancies, maybe If you have had one, it would be easier to believe. The stand point I am coming from is I have DR's in my family and they have told me it is MEDICALLY IMPOSSIBLE for a womens stomach/the muscles to go back to what they were before pregnancy because they get too stretched and injured. So that is why I made my post, understand? and if that is your real stomach author than I quess I will read your post more carefully so I can tell my Dr's in my family about what you say, did not mean to sound bashing. :)

    You do realize that skin elasticity is hereditary... right? :huh:

    Just because you have loose skin, doesn't mean every other mother is doomed to the same fate.

    Broad generalizations have a tendency to get people in trouble around here. You should avoid making them.
    Apparently, we have a lot of freaks of nature on MFP -- or they all had major surgery and are lying?

    Medically impossible! Medically impossible!
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    I'm with OP. Everyone can't have a flat stomach... FACT. I'd say that most people who were obese for 10+ years (I'm not talking overweight here, but with 70+ pounds to lose) will not be able to get a flat stomach without surgery. A mom who gained 20 pounds during pregnancy and lost them right away... probably not a problem.

    I do agree that sometimes those threads, even though they mean well, give people unrealistic expectations.

    That's not how facts work.
  • levitateme
    levitateme Posts: 999 Member
    I'm with OP. Everyone can't have a flat stomach... FACT. I'd say that most people who were obese for 10+ years (I'm not talking overweight here, but with 70+ pounds to lose) will not be able to get a flat stomach without surgery. A mom who gained 20 pounds during pregnancy and lost them right away... probably not a problem.

    I do agree that sometimes those threads, even though they mean well, give people unrealistic expectations.

    Well. This just became a motivation I'm planning on using to prove you dead wrong. Thanks!

    Agreed. I have a fair amount of extra skin from being obese for 7 years and I will have ab photos some day.

    Similarly, a family member told my boyfriend that he would not be able to achieve a transformation similar to a certain celebrity *coughcoughChris Prattcough* without steroids or surgery and he is using that for motivation to do it.
  • SrMaggalicious
    SrMaggalicious Posts: 495 Member
    1208956_choque.gif

    LMAO!!! I nearly wet myself!! hahaha

    and yah, OP, tell Giselle that, or what about Scary Spice...she's popped a ton of babies - I've also seen some incredible abs from mommies all over this site...it's all about genetics..you got the short straw, I guess.
  • tomomatic
    tomomatic Posts: 1,794 Member
    I KNOW I SAID THIS AT THE END OF THE ABOVE THREAD BUT IT SHOULD BE REPEATED SO WOMEN WITH CHILDREN DO NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT THEMSELVES OR HAVE UNREAL EXPECTATIONS, AND TO THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE NOT HAD KIDDIES KUDOS TO YOU, I USED TO HAVE RIPPED ABS BEFORE I HAD KIDS ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS!! LOL....I don't care how skinny you get, how much weight you lose, or how many sit-ups or training you do, how much self discipline, self will you have, if you have had babies, especially 2-3+ there's no way you will have a ripped stomach EVER AGAIN. Although it can be IMPROVED WITH EXERCISE AND MOSTLY IMPROVED BY SURGURY. There will always be that extra skin from STRETCHING.....but for me I am PROUD AND OF MY STRETCH MARKS those are my BATTLE SCARS and I would not have my BEAUTIFUL SONS WITHOUT THEM :)

    I have two daughters... aged 7 and 9 now.

    efd6890a-5f7b-44d2-87b3-bf4178785eb5_zps82da56df.jpg

    it IS possible for some. Maybe not all, but for some there is still hope.

    2b9c84a3-7c9e-44f3-bdb4-7682bbc4d4d1_zps44b0767f.jpg

    Nice going.
    3f1d2fc69537b54c088f74473cf416d3.jpg
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    I KNOW I SAID THIS AT THE END OF THE ABOVE THREAD BUT IT SHOULD BE REPEATED SO WOMEN WITH CHILDREN DO NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT THEMSELVES OR HAVE UNREAL EXPECTATIONS, AND TO THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE NOT HAD KIDDIES KUDOS TO YOU, I USED TO HAVE RIPPED ABS BEFORE I HAD KIDS ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS!! LOL....I don't care how skinny you get, how much weight you lose, or how many sit-ups or training you do, how much self discipline, self will you have, if you have had babies, especially 2-3+ there's no way you will have a ripped stomach EVER AGAIN. Although it can be IMPROVED WITH EXERCISE AND MOSTLY IMPROVED BY SURGURY. There will always be that extra skin from STRETCHING.....but for me I am PROUD AND OF MY STRETCH MARKS those are my BATTLE SCARS and I would not have my BEAUTIFUL SONS WITHOUT THEM :)

    I have two daughters... aged 7 and 9 now.

    efd6890a-5f7b-44d2-87b3-bf4178785eb5_zps82da56df.jpg

    it IS possible for some. Maybe not all, but for some there is still hope.

    2b9c84a3-7c9e-44f3-bdb4-7682bbc4d4d1_zps44b0767f.jpg

    Nice going.
    3f1d2fc69537b54c088f74473cf416d3.jpg

    I thought they were made with self-tanner, a bit of dehydration and good lighting?
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    I KNOW I SAID THIS AT THE END OF THE ABOVE THREAD BUT IT SHOULD BE REPEATED SO WOMEN WITH CHILDREN DO NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT THEMSELVES OR HAVE UNREAL EXPECTATIONS, AND TO THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE NOT HAD KIDDIES KUDOS TO YOU, I USED TO HAVE RIPPED ABS BEFORE I HAD KIDS ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS!! LOL....I don't care how skinny you get, how much weight you lose, or how many sit-ups or training you do, how much self discipline, self will you have, if you have had babies, especially 2-3+ there's no way you will have a ripped stomach EVER AGAIN. Although it can be IMPROVED WITH EXERCISE AND MOSTLY IMPROVED BY SURGURY. There will always be that extra skin from STRETCHING.....but for me I am PROUD AND OF MY STRETCH MARKS those are my BATTLE SCARS and I would not have my BEAUTIFUL SONS WITHOUT THEM :)

    I have two daughters... aged 7 and 9 now.

    efd6890a-5f7b-44d2-87b3-bf4178785eb5_zps82da56df.jpg

    it IS possible for some. Maybe not all, but for some there is still hope.

    2b9c84a3-7c9e-44f3-bdb4-7682bbc4d4d1_zps44b0767f.jpg

    Nice going.
    3f1d2fc69537b54c088f74473cf416d3.jpg

    I thought they were made with self-tanner, a bit of dehydration and good lighting?

    Love the post Mirey!

    Lazar's are made through test, clen and winny-v.
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member

    I thought they were made with self-tanner, a bit of dehydration and good lighting?

    hehe... dehydration... maybe; good lighting... definitely.
    Self tanner... clearly not! LOL I am so freaking WHITE
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    I KNOW I SAID THIS AT THE END OF THE ABOVE THREAD BUT IT SHOULD BE REPEATED SO WOMEN WITH CHILDREN DO NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT THEMSELVES OR HAVE UNREAL EXPECTATIONS, AND TO THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE NOT HAD KIDDIES KUDOS TO YOU, I USED TO HAVE RIPPED ABS BEFORE I HAD KIDS ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS!! LOL....I don't care how skinny you get, how much weight you lose, or how many sit-ups or training you do, how much self discipline, self will you have, if you have had babies, especially 2-3+ there's no way you will have a ripped stomach EVER AGAIN. Although it can be IMPROVED WITH EXERCISE AND MOSTLY IMPROVED BY SURGURY. There will always be that extra skin from STRETCHING.....but for me I am PROUD AND OF MY STRETCH MARKS those are my BATTLE SCARS and I would not have my BEAUTIFUL SONS WITHOUT THEM :)

    I have two daughters... aged 7 and 9 now.

    efd6890a-5f7b-44d2-87b3-bf4178785eb5_zps82da56df.jpg

    it IS possible for some. Maybe not all, but for some there is still hope.

    2b9c84a3-7c9e-44f3-bdb4-7682bbc4d4d1_zps44b0767f.jpg

    Nice going.
    3f1d2fc69537b54c088f74473cf416d3.jpg

    I thought they were made with self-tanner, a bit of dehydration and good lighting?

    Love the post Mirey!

    Lazar's are made through test, clen and winny-v.

    I guess, as long as he shoots up in the kitchen...
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member

    I thought they were made with self-tanner, a bit of dehydration and good lighting?

    hehe... dehydration... maybe; good lighting... definitely.
    Self tanner... clearly not! LOL I am so freaking WHITE

    Silly girl. I was totally not talking about you and you know it.
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member

    I thought they were made with self-tanner, a bit of dehydration and good lighting?

    hehe... dehydration... maybe; good lighting... definitely.
    Self tanner... clearly not! LOL I am so freaking WHITE

    Silly girl. I was totally not talking about you and you know it.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Some_Watery_Tart
    Some_Watery_Tart Posts: 2,250 Member

    I thought they were made with self-tanner, a bit of dehydration and good lighting?

    hehe... dehydration... maybe; good lighting... definitely.
    Self tanner... clearly not! LOL I am so freaking WHITE
    Oh honey...you don't even know how white white can be. When I get my abs, I'll send you a picture and some sunglasses.
  • DeadliftAddict
    DeadliftAddict Posts: 746 Member
    And I would like to know HOW many pregnancies the author has had? I have had four. I'm not bashing you author but it is hard to believe that picture is your real stomach if you have had multiple pregnancies, maybe If you have had one, it would be easier to believe

    Well, this lady has only had three pregnancies. Maybe the 4th one will be the one that ruins those beautiful abs! :laugh:

    fitmom_facebook.jpg

    I was going to look for this picture. Thanks for shooting holes through her opinion.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    And I would like to know HOW many pregnancies the author has had? I have had four. I'm not bashing you author but it is hard to believe that picture is your real stomach if you have had multiple pregnancies, maybe If you have had one, it would be easier to believe

    Well, this lady has only had three pregnancies. Maybe the 4th one will be the one that ruins those beautiful abs! :laugh:

    fitmom_facebook.jpg

    I was going to look for this picture. Thanks for shooting holes through her opinion.
    I have a friend on here who had a baby, then maybe a year later had twins and then had ANOTHER baby about a year after that. She looks a lot like this woman, body-wise. She, clearly, doesn't exist.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    I'm with OP. Everyone can't have a flat stomach... FACT. I'd say that most people who were obese for 10+ years (I'm not talking overweight here, but with 70+ pounds to lose) will not be able to get a flat stomach without surgery. A mom who gained 20 pounds during pregnancy and lost them right away... probably not a problem.

    I do agree that sometimes those threads, even though they mean well, give people unrealistic expectations.

    I created the stomach fat thread. I was 50 pounds overweight for 2 years before getting pregnant. I gained at least 50 pounds with each pregnancy. I was 60 pounds overweight for two years after having my second son. It took me 3 more years to lose all of that. It wasn't like I just gained a few pounds while pregnant and lost it. I'm not just some person who has been in shape my whole life.

    Sure, I have it "easier" since I didn't spend over 10 years carrying that weight. I still have loose skin and I may never get rid of it (I won't have surgery). There is a chance that someone who has been 70+ pounds overweight for 10+ years will have even more loose skin and may never have abs like mine. They can still have a slimmer stomach.


    ETA:
    Here's my story: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/971636-my-story-of-sweet-revenge-pics
    Here's a blog about my strech marks and loose skin: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/usmcmp/view/cellulite-stretch-marks-and-loose-skin-685055

    Overweight for 2 years =/ obese for 10 years. Although I wasn't replying to your thread (which I agree with), but this one. I just get annoyed at the 'everyone can have a flat stomach' nonsense that I keep reading on these forums, even if it wasn't your intent - although I agree that pregnancy doesn't necessarily mean it's impossible/
  • 6ftamazon
    6ftamazon Posts: 340 Member
    Can I just say all of you ladies look amazing!

    With enough determination, I think anyone can get the six pack abs. You can still have loose skin and stretch marks and still look amazing
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
    I had 6 kids....not 6 pack but it is flat (ish) and it keep getting nicer with time

    2f5a374467c50c947b21e2c15fad0d99bf60.jpg
  • missdibs1
    missdibs1 Posts: 1,092 Member
    I had 6 kids

    2f5a374467c50c947b21e2c15fad0d99bf60.jpg

    Sexy B You go girl
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I had 6 kids....not 6 pack but it is flat (ish) and it keep getting nicer with time

    2f5a374467c50c947b21e2c15fad0d99bf60.jpg
    \
    Personally, I don't want a 6-pack. But I want that!
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
    As far as I know, most men don't really give a crap about that anyway. Most men, not the self-centered, perfectionists who probably aren't happy themselves, and not the ones who are really into aestetics, but most men.

    So, it's good to know that we don't have to get crazy over that, but it's sad to know that so many of us still think we have to be perfect.

    And Yanicka, way to rock the good genes, girl! And the obvious exercise, too.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    I'm with OP. Everyone can't have a flat stomach... FACT. I'd say that most people who were obese for 10+ years (I'm not talking overweight here, but with 70+ pounds to lose) will not be able to get a flat stomach without surgery. A mom who gained 20 pounds during pregnancy and lost them right away... probably not a problem.

    I do agree that sometimes those threads, even though they mean well, give people unrealistic expectations.

    I created the stomach fat thread. I was 50 pounds overweight for 2 years before getting pregnant. I gained at least 50 pounds with each pregnancy. I was 60 pounds overweight for two years after having my second son. It took me 3 more years to lose all of that. It wasn't like I just gained a few pounds while pregnant and lost it. I'm not just some person who has been in shape my whole life.

    Sure, I have it "easier" since I didn't spend over 10 years carrying that weight. I still have loose skin and I may never get rid of it (I won't have surgery). There is a chance that someone who has been 70+ pounds overweight for 10+ years will have even more loose skin and may never have abs like mine. They can still have a slimmer stomach.


    ETA:
    Here's my story: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/971636-my-story-of-sweet-revenge-pics
    Here's a blog about my strech marks and loose skin: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/usmcmp/view/cellulite-stretch-marks-and-loose-skin-685055

    Overweight for 2 years =/ obese for 10 years. Although I wasn't replying to your thread (which I agree with), but this one. I just get annoyed at the 'everyone can have a flat stomach' nonsense that I keep reading on these forums, even if it wasn't your intent - although I agree that pregnancy doesn't necessarily mean it's impossible/

    Overweight for 2, obese for 7. Even subtracting the amount of weight you should gain during pregnancy for during the times I was pregnant I was still obese during that time, nearly morbidly obese.
  • aarnwine2013
    aarnwine2013 Posts: 317 Member
    Well I've read every response here and let me say, there are some hot abs on this thread!

    I don't think I'll get there, I know I will. It may not be as perfect as some of the hot women here but I'll reach for that goal anyway.

    Why would you limit yourself , OP by saying it isn't even possible. Cleary it is, I'll say it again, if you want it, you can achieve it!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    As far as I know, most men don't really give a crap about that anyway. Most men, not the self-centered, perfectionists who probably aren't happy themselves, and not the ones who are really into aestetics, but most men.

    So, it's good to know that we don't have to get crazy over that, but it's sad to know that so many of us still think we have to be perfect.

    And Yanicka, way to rock the good genes, girl! And the obvious exercise, too.
    Why do you assume any of us are doing any of this for men?
  • tar0809
    tar0809 Posts: 122 Member
    While I agree to your post by some degree me being one of those women who has loose skin and stretch marks after my 2 kids but I also know women who have had 2-4 children who look AMAZING, no loose skin, no stretch marks and they bounce back to being slim and most of these women are not on diets or exercise. My aunt is one of these women, boo lucky B****. lol! so it just depends on your body and genes I must take after my dads side since I wasn't so lucky while she was! but hell I've been working hard for over a year and there have been big improvements and I will keep going until I'm satisfied!!
  • LotusAsh
    LotusAsh Posts: 294 Member
    I KNOW I SAID THIS AT THE END OF THE ABOVE THREAD BUT IT SHOULD BE REPEATED SO WOMEN WITH CHILDREN DO NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT THEMSELVES OR HAVE UNREAL EXPECTATIONS, AND TO THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE NOT HAD KIDDIES KUDOS TO YOU, I USED TO HAVE RIPPED ABS BEFORE I HAD KIDS ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS!! LOL....I don't care how skinny you get, how much weight you lose, or how many sit-ups or training you do, how much self discipline, self will you have, if you have had babies, especially 2-3+ there's no way you will have a ripped stomach EVER AGAIN. Although it can be IMPROVED WITH EXERCISE AND MOSTLY IMPROVED BY SURGURY. There will always be that extra skin from STRETCHING.....but for me I am PROUD AND OF MY STRETCH MARKS those are my BATTLE SCARS and I would not have my BEAUTIFUL SONS WITHOUT THEM :)

    why are you yelling?