OOOH I SERIOUSLY NEED TO VENT!!
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Everyone has excuses for why they can't go to the gym.
this.
I'm busy. I make time. I have a standing appointment at the gym. I wouldn't miss my standing appointment with my job, a doctor, a date or SO, why should the gym be any different?
Either you want to do it, or you don't. If you want it bad enough you'll make time.
Sometimes, we all need to be called to the carpet.0 -
You should not feel more comfortable telling a bunch of strangers you problem with your husband than you do with your husband himself.
This. I can understand taking a few minutes to calm yourself to make sure that you can speak rationally about the issue, and plan how best to present it. However, if you can't talk to your husband about this, then there's a much bigger issue at hand.
What she said........................0 -
An elementary school teacher who is too busy to go to the gym?! lol0
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So say it to him! He's your husband, you have a legislative right to tell him to pull his head out of his *kitten* when neccesary!
THIS ^^^ ALL DAY LONG. Don't put up with that disrespect... he should be emotionally supportive, not a *kitten*.
Really? Disrespect? You sum him up as a *kitten* because of one comment? Did I miss something? Perhaps he didn't communicate it in a lovely, delicate manner but I am sure he was probably trying to motivate the OP. At least he cares....
[/quote
Because calling her a slacker after all the work she does, kids, full time job, walking 3.5 miles a day, is an insult, that's why.
Just an FYI, when you quote someone you don't include your response in their quote.... just sayin'.
Millions of woman do all of those things and more everyday (3.5 miles is really not that much in 24hr. period). If he didn't care he wouldn't say anything. She should be thankful, if he didn't say anything you can be assured he has probably lost interest and found interest in another.0 -
So say it to him! He's your husband, you have a legislative right to tell him to pull his head out of his *kitten* when neccesary!
THIS ^^^ ALL DAY LONG. Don't put up with that disrespect... he should be emotionally supportive, not a *kitten*.
Really? Disrespect? You sum him up as a *kitten* because of one comment? Did I miss something? Perhaps he didn't communicate it in a lovely, delicate manner but I am sure he was probably trying to motivate the OP. At least he cares....
[/quote
Because calling her a slacker after all the work she does, kids, full time job, walking 3.5 miles a day, is an insult, that's why.
Just an FYI, when you quote someone you don't include your response in their quote.... just sayin'.
Millions of woman do all of those things and more everyday (3.5 miles is really not that much in 24hr. period). If he didn't care he wouldn't say anything. She should be thankful, if he didn't say anything you can be assured he has probably lost interest and found interest in another.
Ironic post is ironic.0 -
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Yeah because instead of talking to the man himself and figuring things out coming on here to whine and fume about it is waaay more productive. He may have been joking he may have even been trying to encourage you in a bluff sort of way. But if you don't talk to him you will just assume he is an *kitten* and quietly fume to yourself until you decide that you hate his guts. Over time resentments will pile up. It may even wreck your relationship. And it will be your fault .. not his. Because you never said a damn thing to him about any of this. Men are not mind readers. Nor are we particularly sensitive or subtle but most of the time we don't really intend to hurt your feelings. So for the love of god TALK TO HIM!0
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You don't mention when your husband goes to the gym. Maybe you should figure out a time that you can go together and encourage each other this way.0
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You should not feel more comfortable telling a bunch of strangers you problem with your husband than you do with your husband himself.
I would disagree with this statement - I think it would be awesome if every marriage is an open book where people communicate at a level of adulthood always - yet, sadly - because we are all just human - it's rarely the case.
I think venting like this in a fairly 'neutral' forum allows someone to maybe take the emotion out of it - so that when she does decide to finally communicate with him she has a better grasp on what she has to say
It is not really "neautral" though is it? I am unsure how active you are in the community here but we have many times discovered that these threads are witholding crucial information. Making the responses one sided and unfair actually. And while many of us have done our share of venting out on the forums, thinking it is all anonymous, it isn't really anonymous. It is very easy for your SO to see these threads and if the relationship wasn't in trouble before, it would be now.
If you want to go with that perspective and notion of things, everything in this world is biased and 'one-sided' and you view it, and nothing is truly factual/without bias. We will always be swayed with our emotional experience of things, whether we be meaning to withhold pieces of information, or not. Dichotomous thinking isn't really the way to go here buddy, and if i recall, it got you into trouble the first time you posted on this forum (view: how you
Also, if you think things as so 'secretive' they at least aren't for me - my SO is my friend on my account, so he can see every single post i make. I don't make any posts on MFP assuming anonymity, nor have i seen anybody on here (i can't speak for any other forum but merely on here that has been the case) assuming such. I don't see many people assuming anonymity, and those trying to be anonymous have been those making 'troll accounts/completely separate accounts, for the sake of a forum post.
Your logic is rather flawed. Just because a few people were dishonest and caused problems on here, it doesn't mean every member going to vent or posting on the forums is the same. I would urge you to open your mind a bit, and not be so quick to pass judgement. Yes - be wary and cautious - but don't make such quick and harsh judgments about people.0 -
My husband enforces my fitness goals also. He is just trying to help.0
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You should not feel more comfortable telling a bunch of strangers you problem with your husband than you do with your husband himself.
This. I can understand taking a few minutes to calm yourself to make sure that you can speak rationally about the issue, and plan how best to present it. However, if you can't talk to your husband about this, then there's a much bigger issue at hand.
Agree with both. In my opinion it's extremely immature to be whining about your significant other on an Internet forum.
yep...married people probs...0 -
Tell him what you just told us.0
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Back in for racism....and misogyny.0
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<Edited before posting cuz I decided it was easier to just say......>
I am 100% lucky and blessed to have open communication with my spouse that allows us to push each other, motivate each other and be honest with each other. I would never go to a public forum looking for the "yes, he's an A-hole!" response as validation. I think it is disrespectful to my spouse, and I wouldn't want him doing it to me.0 -
So my husband just said these words to me: " you gotta get to the gym babe. You're a slacker" .Let me break this down for everyone. I am a 3rd grade teacher. I wear my fit bit to school and log an avg. Of 3.5 miles a day. I never sit! Oh wait a minute my 20 minutes of lunch that turns into 10 wait nope gotta make copies and go to the bathroom and oh yeah here comes a kid who has to finish some work. So my 20 minute lunch has turned into scarfing my turkey burger down my throat as I pick my kids up on the playground. But yep you're right I'm a slacker. My 8 hours on my feet,not to mention my class is downstairs, is just not good enough reason to not to want to go to the gym. Did I mention he goes to work at 5:30 am and gets off at noon and comes home to take a nap? This is all the crap I would have liked to say to him. Also keep in mind that I have maintained going to the gym after school for at least 3 days a week.
You just do what you can, friend.... and forget the piranha on here who just love to jump all over everything! It's OK to vent once in awhile!0 -
What's a "gym"?0
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Don't tell us, tell him.0
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I get you OP, you're just venting a bit. Take it or leave it on all the relationship advice your going to get.here.
Best advice here - PLEASE ignore all (especially) the nasty and negative comments.
Not advice on what you should do but..
If my husband said anything like that to me I would have told him exactly what I thought about it and him and NOT quietly;)
Hope things go better for you very soon!0 -
I worked as a primary school teaching assistant last year and never made 3.5miles on my feet all day (including a one hour long after school club and playground duty during break times). I wouldn't consider it an active job in the slightest. I would fast walk 5 miles after I got home at 6pm.
As for the comment, use it as motivation. Don't get angry about it, that's not going to help any situation.0 -
I would never go to a public forum looking for the "yes, he's an A-hole!" response as validation. I think it is disrespectful to my spouse, and I wouldn't want him doing it to me.
99% of the time, here at MFP I notice, it's *women* who do this.
I know men - collectively and generally speaking - misbehave online in their own special way. Like when they're married and have a slew of BFFs they text and converse with regularly. Most of the 'friends' seem to be attractive women. Not that that ever happens here. And if it does, I'm sure permission was granted. I think.
But if the venting women who throw their husbands and sex partners under the bus online were found out, I wonder how the husband/sex partner would feel about that?
Meanwhile keeping in mind half of these chicks display pics of themselves so anyone who happens to know them will also know who they're talking about.
I try really hard to never bring relationship drama to Facebook, our circle of friends, or our spiritual community.
It would make us both look bad. It's shameful. It's embarrassing to the couple/family.
It harms the reputation in the long run.
So a group of strangers is a PERFECT place to vent it out.
No one knows us on here except for like, two people, who are my girlfriends who already know the biz anyways.
And our reputation is intact, because I didn't run my mouth all over town or FB. 0 -
I get you OP, you're just venting a bit. Take it or leave it on all the relationship advice your going to get.here.
Best advice here - PLEASE (especially) ignore all the nasty and negative comments.
Not advice on what you should do but..
If my husband said anything like that to me I would have told him exactly what I thought about it and him and NOT quietly;)
Hope things go better for you very soon!
Yes, because god forbid people want to understand the real context BEFORE eviscerating this guy on a public forum. Can you be 100% sure he meant it in a cruel and demeaning way? No, you can't. You weren't there. You don't know them.0 -
Say it to him. Cheeky sod!!
If my husband said something like that to me, he'd be single again PDQ.
I work hard all day and don't go to the gym but ride my bike instead. If my husband had called me 'a slacker' I would not be responsible for my actions!0 -
Say it to him. Cheeky sod!!
If my husband said something like that to me, he'd be single again PDQ.
I work hard all day and don't go to the gym but ride my bike instead. If my husband had called me 'a slacker' I would not be responsible for my actions!
Wow. You'd get divorced over that? Sounds legit.0 -
Wow - you get offended pretty easily. You should hear the stuff my husband and I (jokingly) say to each other. He constantly tells me that his next wife won't be such a b!tch. (<-- can I say that on MFP? I dont' even know...)
If he were to ever call me a "slacker" I would probably smile, hand both kids over to him, and run out the door to enjoy my gym time 0 -
I get you OP, you're just venting a bit. Take it or leave it on all the relationship advice your going to get.here.
Best advice here - PLEASE (especially) ignore all the nasty and negative comments.
Not advice on what you should do but..
If my husband said anything like that to me I would have told him exactly what I thought about it and him and NOT quietly;)
Hope things go better for you very soon!
Yes, because god forbid people want to understand the real context BEFORE eviscerating this guy on a public forum. Can you be 100% sure he meant it in a cruel and demeaning way? No, you can't. You weren't there. You don't know them.
AND YOU are 100% sure he didn't mean "it in a cruel and demeaning way"??? You weren't there either, do YOU know them personally???.
She was hurt and upset, I figure if it upset her that much it was NOT said in a nice or constructive way.
I "eviscerated" no one - I just said to TELL to him how it came across!
If she just takes negativity and nevers gets rid of it she will end up sick from it.0 -
.......sassy sidekick friend....
Edited due to potentially adding to the stereotype
Much better verbiage, sir....
I"m proud of you:drinker:0 -
:It's always good to vent, sometimes people say things without thinking (that includes husbands).
You don't ever have to justify yourself to anyone...you work hard..you're taking care of your family and yourself. That's it!!
Keep doing a wonderful job teaching our children of the future and taking care of yourself (because no one can do that job better than you)!:flowerforyou:0 -
Meh, it's not actually a big deal, OP. Chill pill...0
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:It's always good to vent, sometimes people say things without thinking (that includes husbands).
You don't ever have to justify yourself to anyone...you work hard..you're taking care of your family and yourself. That's it!!
Keep doing a wonderful job teaching our children of the future and taking care of yourself (because no one can do that job better than you)!:flowerforyou:
They need a "like" button here like facebook has:)0 -
I get you OP, you're just venting a bit. Take it or leave it on all the relationship advice your going to get.here.
Best advice here - PLEASE (especially) ignore all the nasty and negative comments.
Not advice on what you should do but..
If my husband said anything like that to me I would have told him exactly what I thought about it and him and NOT quietly;)
Hope things go better for you very soon!
Yes, because god forbid people want to understand the real context BEFORE eviscerating this guy on a public forum. Can you be 100% sure he meant it in a cruel and demeaning way? No, you can't. You weren't there. You don't know them.
AND YOU are 100% sure he didn't mean "it in a cruel and demeaning way"??? You weren't there either, do YOU know them personally???.
She was hurt and upset, I am figure if it upset her that much it was NOT said in a nice or constructive way.
I "eviscerated" no one - I just said to TELL to him how it came across!
If she just takes negativity and nevers gets rid of it she will end up sick from it.
I don't know anything, I just tend to want to get both sides of the story before I jump to one conclusion or the next.0
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