OOOH I SERIOUSLY NEED TO VENT!!

sseqwnp

i find it hard to believe he said this if what you've said about his schedule and yours is true... are you sure he wasnt just joking around? does he know that you go to the gym already?

if he wasnt though and this is legit thats pretty sh*tty of him to say, talk to him about it

Also ... isn't it summer vacation?

SoDamnHungry

Tell him what you just told us.

jenifr818

i find it hard to believe he said this if what you've said about his schedule and yours is true... are you sure he wasnt just joking around? does he know that you go to the gym already?

if he wasnt though and this is legit thats pretty sh*tty of him to say, talk to him about it

Also ... isn't it summer vacation?

Depends on the region. Down here in AL, kids started on August 5th, teachers were back at the school prepping end of July.

RavenLibra

walking is a different activity... compared to goin gto the gym... when you DO.. go to the gym.. is all you do there walk?

This I do NOT get... men... are simple... and when allowed to be.. offer women nothing but 100% honesty.. it does NOT come from a place of sinister animosity... it is almost always... meant as a helpful reminder.. nothing more... men are practical... My wife and I signed up for Gym Memberships... 2 years... and in 2 years my wife's attendance was less than 1/month.. $50/month $1200.00 dollars... so when I mentioned that maybe she ought to go to the gym.. it was more about... hey ... make use of the money we are paying this place.. BUT NO.. what did Iget... "shut up.. I get plenty of exercise at work...." okay... BUT.. WHY have a gym membership IF you are not going to use it???

There.. I vented too

nicsflyingcircus

i find it hard to believe he said this if what you've said about his schedule and yours is true... are you sure he wasnt just joking around? does he know that you go to the gym already?

if he wasnt though and this is legit thats pretty sh*tty of him to say, talk to him about it

Also ... isn't it summer vacation?

Depends on the region. Down here in AL, kids started on August 5th, teachers were back at the school prepping end of July.

Yup, my horde went back August 5th. Chaos and craziness. However, I can't wait for fall break. Hitting up the Redneck Riviera for the whole week!

SingRunTing

walking is a different activity... compared to goin gto the gym... when you DO.. go to the gym.. is all you do there walk?

This I do NOT get... men... are simple... and when allowed to be.. offer women nothing but 100% honesty.. it does NOT come from a place of sinister animosity... it is almost always... meant as a helpful reminder.. nothing more... men are practical... My wife and I signed up for Gym Memberships... 2 years... and in 2 years my wife's attendance was less than 1/month.. $50/month $1200.00 dollars... so when I mentioned that maybe she ought to go to the gym.. it was more about... hey ... make use of the money we are paying this place.. BUT NO.. what did Iget... "shut up.. I get plenty of exercise at work...." okay... BUT.. WHY have a gym membership IF you are not going to use it???

There.. I vented too

I think we found OPs husband. :laugh:

Seriously though, this is good advice. Women assume that comments are made with some hidden meaning behind them. Men usually say things at face value.

luvmydog2

Seriously ... I would look him up and down .. next time he is standing :bigsmile: ( And say , ''Babe if you think i am a slacker , What mirror you been looking in lately ? Because i would like to borrow it !!!

Then go to the bathroom ... when he is not looking and put kitchen detergent on the porcelain seat ..let it dry ... so when he sits down the toilet lid squeaks :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

That will have him thinking :happy:

richardheath

From the OP's profile:

"Now the hubs and I started a great gym routine. 6 days a week : 4-5 weight training and 3-4 cardio. I'm really enjoying it as I used to be a gym rat back in the day. "

So yeah she has a busy job, kids, still manages to make it to the gym 3 x per week. But, without knowing anymore backstory than presented here, it looks like she was trying to do 6 x. So, in that sense, hubby was correct - she is slacking. Obviously, there are ways to say that, and maybe he used the wrong one, but OP does appear to not be meeting the goals she set herself. Should he never say anything?

59gi

Ignore the remark and carry on. It's not what he thinks, but what you know to be true. Being reactive, is not always the right thing to do.

jkal1979

From the OP's profile:

"Now the hubs and I started a great gym routine. 6 days a week : 4-5 weight training and 3-4 cardio. I'm really enjoying it as I used to be a gym rat back in the day. "

So yeah she has a busy job, kids, still manages to make it to the gym 3 x per week. But, without knowing anymore backstory than presented here, it looks like she was trying to do 6 x. So, in that sense, hubby was correct - she is slacking. Obviously, there are ways to say that, and maybe he used the wrong one, but OP does appear to not be meeting the goals she set herself. Should he never say anything?

ETA: And if he didn't say anything, would she be on here complaining that he isn't being supportive?

vjohn04

Everyone has excuses for why they can't go to the gym.

this.

I'm busy. I make time. I have a standing appointment at the gym. I wouldn't miss my standing appointment with my job, a doctor, a date or SO, why should the gym be any different?

Either you want to do it, or you don't. If you want it bad enough you'll make time.

Sometimes, we all need to be called to the carpet.

Memorableheart

You should not feel more comfortable telling a bunch of strangers you problem with your husband than you do with your husband himself.

This. I can understand taking a few minutes to calm yourself to make sure that you can speak rationally about the issue, and plan how best to present it. However, if you can't talk to your husband about this, then there's a much bigger issue at hand.

What she said........................

SunofaBeach14

An elementary school teacher who is too busy to go to the gym?! lol

_Thriving_

So say it to him! He's your husband, you have a legislative right to tell him to pull his head out of his *kitten* when neccesary!

THIS ^^^ ALL DAY LONG. Don't put up with that disrespect... he should be emotionally supportive, not a *kitten*.

Really? Disrespect? You sum him up as a *kitten* because of one comment? Did I miss something? Perhaps he didn't communicate it in a lovely, delicate manner but I am sure he was probably trying to motivate the OP. At least he cares....
[/quote




Because calling her a slacker after all the work she does, kids, full time job, walking 3.5 miles a day, is an insult, that's why.

Just an FYI, when you quote someone you don't include your response in their quote.... just sayin'.

Millions of woman do all of those things and more everyday (3.5 miles is really not that much in 24hr. period). If he didn't care he wouldn't say anything. She should be thankful, if he didn't say anything you can be assured he has probably lost interest and found interest in another.

SingRunTing

So say it to him! He's your husband, you have a legislative right to tell him to pull his head out of his *kitten* when neccesary!

THIS ^^^ ALL DAY LONG. Don't put up with that disrespect... he should be emotionally supportive, not a *kitten*.

Really? Disrespect? You sum him up as a *kitten* because of one comment? Did I miss something? Perhaps he didn't communicate it in a lovely, delicate manner but I am sure he was probably trying to motivate the OP. At least he cares....
[/quote




Because calling her a slacker after all the work she does, kids, full time job, walking 3.5 miles a day, is an insult, that's why.

Just an FYI, when you quote someone you don't include your response in their quote.... just sayin'.

Millions of woman do all of those things and more everyday (3.5 miles is really not that much in 24hr. period). If he didn't care he wouldn't say anything. She should be thankful, if he didn't say anything you can be assured he has probably lost interest and found interest in another.

Ironic post is ironic.

MagnumBurrito

.

RHachicho

Yeah because instead of talking to the man himself and figuring things out coming on here to whine and fume about it is waaay more productive. He may have been joking he may have even been trying to encourage you in a bluff sort of way. But if you don't talk to him you will just assume he is an *kitten* and quietly fume to yourself until you decide that you hate his guts. Over time resentments will pile up. It may even wreck your relationship. And it will be your fault .. not his. Because you never said a damn thing to him about any of this. Men are not mind readers. Nor are we particularly sensitive or subtle but most of the time we don't really intend to hurt your feelings. So for the love of god TALK TO HIM!

Ajewett214

You don't mention when your husband goes to the gym. Maybe you should figure out a time that you can go together and encourage each other this way.

Biggirllittledreams

You should not feel more comfortable telling a bunch of strangers you problem with your husband than you do with your husband himself.

I would disagree with this statement - I think it would be awesome if every marriage is an open book where people communicate at a level of adulthood always - yet, sadly - because we are all just human - it's rarely the case.

I think venting like this in a fairly 'neutral' forum allows someone to maybe take the emotion out of it - so that when she does decide to finally communicate with him she has a better grasp on what she has to say

It is not really "neautral" though is it? I am unsure how active you are in the community here but we have many times discovered that these threads are witholding crucial information. Making the responses one sided and unfair actually. And while many of us have done our share of venting out on the forums, thinking it is all anonymous, it isn't really anonymous. It is very easy for your SO to see these threads and if the relationship wasn't in trouble before, it would be now.

If you want to go with that perspective and notion of things, everything in this world is biased and 'one-sided' and you view it, and nothing is truly factual/without bias. We will always be swayed with our emotional experience of things, whether we be meaning to withhold pieces of information, or not. Dichotomous thinking isn't really the way to go here buddy, and if i recall, it got you into trouble the first time you posted on this forum (view: how you

Also, if you think things as so 'secretive' they at least aren't for me - my SO is my friend on my account, so he can see every single post i make. I don't make any posts on MFP assuming anonymity, nor have i seen anybody on here (i can't speak for any other forum but merely on here that has been the case) assuming such. I don't see many people assuming anonymity, and those trying to be anonymous have been those making 'troll accounts/completely separate accounts, for the sake of a forum post.

Your logic is rather flawed. Just because a few people were dishonest and caused problems on here, it doesn't mean every member going to vent or posting on the forums is the same. I would urge you to open your mind a bit, and not be so quick to pass judgement. Yes - be wary and cautious - but don't make such quick and harsh judgments about people.

BinaryPulsar

My husband enforces my fitness goals also. He is just trying to help.