I prefer not get weight loss comments
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I don't understand not liking a compliment that comes from a genuine place. I love it when someone says, "You look great! Have you lost weight?" I've worked my *kitten* off, literally, so acknowledgement/congrats for that feels great to me.
That said, we're all different, so if it makes you uncomfortable, that's your truth. I just can't relate.
I'm in agreement with you on this one. I can't relate. :huh: With so many people being deliberately rude and self-centered these days, it's nice to hear some well-intentioned, kind words. To each his/her own though. :ohwell:0 -
Maybe instead of taking it as a comment about how bad you looked before, take it as a comment about how all the hard work you've put in is now apparent to others.
I really don't get this victim mentality. If I spent all day doing yard work, trimming, edging, weeding, and somebody says, wow..."your yard is looking great", I don't take it as them saying my yard was wrecked before. But I see it as my effort has produced results that is now visible by others.
There will be plenty of opportunities to get offended by some person's backhanded comment about your appearance, so I suggest you take the genuine compliments when you get them, as they don't happen often.
I see it this way as well. I never assume someone's being ugly and saying I looked bad before, particularly when it's someone I interact with on a regular basis and they've told me I looked nice in the past. People DO tend to look healthier when they lose weight. I don't think it's terrible for people to notice that.0 -
Oh you!0
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I hear you. After about 4 months of working hard and a 30 pound loss, I'm going back to work tomorrow after the summer off (I'm a teacher at a small school with lots of catty, yenta-type women AND men.) I started losing the weight before vacation but now I have a totally different body shape and size, thank God. On the one hand, I'm prepared for comments but I'd prefer not to get them as well. Reason being, it can be a total mindf*ck when people notice and comment, especially if I don't really like the person commenting. On the other hand, it IS validating right? So I'm a little ambivalent because for me the journey's not over -- I'm still planning on working my food program, planning meals, counting calories, and getting to the gym. I really haven't "arrived" at where I want to be...either personally or professionally, so I'm just going to take any feedback with a grain of salt - being self directed, not dependent on others' feedback got me so far - so God willing, the same mindset is going to keep me fit.
I'm going back tomorrow too after the summer vacation. During the summer I lost 33 pounds. I wonder how everyone is going to react to my new body. Last time I lost weight I worked at a different type of job outside of education. The people at the other location were spreading rumors that I starve myself. However, I do like compliments.0 -
oh brother
Yup... what ^^^he^^^ said0 -
Ultimately, you can't control what other people do, so the important thing is how you handle your response.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/ihad/view/people-will-notice-6472690 -
I never turn down a compliment.
This ^ =D0 -
I have received comments before I lost weight, have you lost weight??? Its like they feel the need to say something nice and they figure thats the nicest things they can say. I hated it.
Now that I HAVE lost weight I can graciously say thank you.0 -
I'm fine with compliments, they come from a good place, usually; but not in the workplace. I'm all business and I don't think it's professional to mention someone's body in any way, shape or form at work...that makes me uncomfortable.0
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I do not think you're way too sensitive as others have suggested. We are all different in what we prefer. I don't mind at all when people compliment me including on weight loss, but if someone gets way too personal with me about my diet, health, or other topics, I will tell them so, or politely refuse to answer too-personal questions.
Perhaps you could smile and say "Thank you for the compliment, but it makes me feel really uncomfortable when others comment on my weight". Obviously you would need to say it in a very matter of fact yet diplomatic way. But I think if you have the right sort of personality it could really cut down on the comments without offending people (much).
While it is a different topic, I've handled the same sort of thing in such a way with mostly successful outcomes. I live in the Bible belt and I am not religious. Hundreds of times over the years, coworkers, acquaintances, and total strangers have tried to converse at length with me about my belief system and I tell them that I feel that's a private topic for me and I prefer not to discuss it. Then I smile and change the subject.0 -
I don't understand not liking a compliment that comes from a genuine place. I love it when someone says, "You look great! Have you lost weight?" I've worked my *kitten* off, literally, so acknowledgement/congrats for that feels great to me.
That said, we're all different, so if it makes you uncomfortable, that's your truth. I just can't relate.
I know. I can't wait until I've lost enough for people to notice. I ran into a few swim mom's yesterday and told them I'd lost 15 pounds. I'm too excited and on high right now that I want them to share in my journey.
No, I don't think I need them to validate me. But, it will be nice to have all this hard work be recognized.0 -
xD People never comment on my weight loss, I wish they did
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Ah, but WEIGHT is still the NUMBER 1 predictor for health risk. Even an overweight healthy person would have a higher risk factor than if they were say 20lbs lighter.Healthy lifestyle is PROVEN to be a greater predictor of health than weight.
A.C.E. Certified Group Fitness and Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Just wondering if people who get "offended" by compliments on weight, feel the same if someone says "Hey, nice dress/jacket/shoes" or "Hey like the haircut/tan/nail polish".
A.C.E. Certified Group Fitness and Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
I appreciate the sentiment, it comes from a good place, but I'd rather not have comments either (IRL - here on MFP, it's okay because that's what I'm here to talk about). I don't know it just always seems weird to make unsolicited comments on someone's body to me. I lost a lot of weight a few years ago when I was dangerously ill with what my doctors feared was uterine cancer (it wasn't, yay!), and comments about my weight just reminded me *why* I was losing weight and how awful it was... super depressing.
In my opinion, commenting on someone's body should be like asking a woman if she's pregnant...you don't do it unless you know.0 -
Just wondering if people who get "offended" by compliments on weight, feel the same if someone says "Hey, nice dress/jacket/shoes" or "Hey like the haircut/tan/nail polish".
A.C.E. Certified Group Fitness and Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I think they do.0 -
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If someone tells me they like my haircut I don't automatically jump to the conclusion that they must have thought I looked terrible before.
This whole thread makes me sad. You really are "damned if you do and damned if you don't".0 -
Only solution I can think of besides not losing weight.
Or you could either take it as a compliment...which I hear is a good thing or realize that people are going to a) have thoughts b) express them etc0 -
I know allot of people dig it but I prefer not get them.I don't get upset when I get them but I would rather they keep that to themselves.I use my old clothes to see if i am making progress and before and after picture so thats enough for me.Just like if I were to gain weight, I woudnt want comments on that either. Anyone feels the same?
It's one of those things you don't have control over--people will give compliments to be nice or because they think it will make you happy or even just because they spontaneously do. It's considered polite to do so, although in different subcultures people will feel more or less comfortable commenting, IME.
My thought is that given that you don't have control over it and know it's meant nicely, why not try and have a positive reaction to it? Whether you prefer it or not people are going to notice how you look, that's just life.0 -
I understand where the op is coming from. The comments don't offend me or piss me off, but sometimes I do wonder if people thought I didn't look good before. I've only lost a little under 30 pounds, and I was fit and working out before. I was just heavier because I used to eat more. It's also a little unsettling to feel like your weight and your appearance define how people see you, even when it's not that drastic of a loss. I want to feel like people treat me the same no matter how I look just based on who I am, but that's sadly just not the way the world works. I think it's better to give a more neutral compliment, like, "You look great!" without explicitly referring to their weightloss.0
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People will comment on changes in your appearance, because that's is what is the most visible. It's no different than "nice haircut" or "I like your new jacket". Your personality changes, or improvements in your mind aren't apparent to others immediately. We aren't psychic. And on the flip side, if I comment "you are in a good mood today!", am I suggesting that you were a stick in the mud or a Debbie downer before? Maybe we shouldn't give compliments anymore, since people can always find a way to be offended no matter the intention of the person giving the compliment.I understand where the op is coming from. The comments don't offend me or piss me off, but sometimes I do wonder if people thought I didn't look good before. I've only lost a little under 30 pounds, and I was fit and working out before. I was just heavier because I used to eat more. It's also a little unsettling to feel like your weight and your appearance define how people see you, even when it's not that drastic of a loss. I want to feel like people treat me the same no matter how I look just based on who I am, but that's sadly just not the way the world works. I think it's better to give a more neutral compliment, like, "You look great!" without explicitly referring to their weightloss.0
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Just wondering if people who get "offended" by compliments on weight, feel the same if someone says "Hey, nice dress/jacket/shoes" or "Hey like the haircut/tan/nail polish".
A.C.E. Certified Group Fitness and Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I think they do.
yes, because it has nothing to do with being 'offended', it has to do with the attention being focused on them - which causes them to be 'uncomfortable'. Some people are shy. Not everyone welcomes compliments. It's not right or wrong, it just is. Everyone is different.0 -
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Just wondering if people who get "offended" by compliments on weight, feel the same if someone says "Hey, nice dress/jacket/shoes" or "Hey like the haircut/tan/nail polish".
A.C.E. Certified Group Fitness and Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I think they do.
yes, because it has nothing to do with being 'offended', it has to do with the attention being focused on them - which causes them to be 'uncomfortable'. Some people are shy. Not everyone welcomes compliments. It's not right or wrong, it just is. Everyone is different.
Well, if you go back and read you'll see that actually several people mentioned being offended because in their mind a compliment today implies that they looked terrible before. Yes, some people are simply uncomfortable with any attention but that's not what is being addressed.0 -
I don't really so much mind someone noticing my hard work but I hate the comments of "OMG you look so beautiful!" or "OMG you look great". I was beautiful before I lost weight.....I'm just smaller now.0
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If it's a sincere compliment, accept it with grace. If it's a backhanded compliment, tell 'em to f' off. Why would you put any more thought into it than that?
I like this plan. I'm gonna go with this!0 -
There is no winning around here. People are either offended if others mention their weight loss or offended if they don't. Maybe everyone should wear a sign to let other people know what they are allowed to say.
Personally I am delighted to accept any and all compliments. (working on my sign right now)0
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